Jay here! X-Men ’92 co-writer and all-around rad dude Chris Sims was in town last week, and after a few days of weird theme parks, pizza, Powell’s, and blowing a LOT of quarters on the X-Men arcade game, we decided to sit down for a spur-of-the-moment late-night Q&A session, featuring fancy tea, a whooooooole lot of sunglasses, and PROBABLY not Chad Bowers hiding in nearby foliage:
Thanks to everyone who sent in questions!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. These video reviews–and everything else here–are made possible by the support of our Patreon subscribers. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
(Seriously, though, can we all just take a moment to think about Daveed Diggs as Nightcrawler? -J)
Elle casts Technet (and Alistaire Stuart):
Gatecrasher – Kathy Bates Scatterbrain – Cara Delevingne China Doll – Tristan Risk Ferro – Ray Park Thug – Hornswoggle Alistaire Stuart – Arthur Darvill
It’s your very own printable Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Award for Excellence in X-Cellence! GO, YOU!
Jay knew the Blingee account they had registered to add sparkles to Dazzler covers and photos of Nolan North would come in handy again someday!
THE 2015 SUPER DOCTOR ASTRONAUT PETER CORBEAU AWARDS FOR EXCELLENCE IN X-CELLENCE
Best X-Writer – Dennis Hopeless
Best X-Artist – Mike Norton
Best X-Colorist – Jordie Bellaire
Best Soap Opera – Inferno
Irene Adler Award for Most Anticipated Upcoming Book or Series – X-Men ’92 ongoing
Harvey and Janet Award for Best Walk-On – Falcon Pirate (Wolverines #1)
About Damn Time – Iceman comes out (All-New X-Men #40 and X-Men #600)
Cyclops Has a Good Day Award – Uncanny X-Men #600
Shameless Pandering – X-Men ’92
MetaCorbeau for Exemplary Use of Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau in a Comic Book – Al Ewing (Mighty Avengers #8)
Best Ongoing X-Series – X-Force (w: Si Spurrier; a: various)
Rising Star – Wolverine (Laura Kinney)
Best Withering Sneers* – Kristafer Anka
The Didn’t-Fit-Into-Any-Other-Categories-and-Isn’t-Technically-an-X-Book-but-We-Wanted-to-Give-It-an-Award-Anyway Award – Siege (w: Kieron Gillen, a: Filipe Andrade)
Still the Best Listeners of Any Podcast, Ever – YOU. Again.**
*Kris Anka owns this category so thoroughly that, in the name of fairness, he will be disqualified starting in 2016; at which point the name of this category will officially change to the Kristafer Anka Award for Best Withering Sneer in an X-Book.
**Seriously. We may be a wee bit biased; but honestly, you’re just wildly unfair to the competition.
CLASSIC CORBEAUS (for older X-material covered in the podcast during 2015)
Buried Treasure – Fallen Angels
You Tried – Magneto (New Mutants)
Jack Kirby Award for Best Intersection of Weird and Epic in a Single Character Design – Walter Simonson (Archangel, X-Factor)
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
In which Jay and Miles finally X-Plain some Excalibur; Kyle interviews the X-Perts; Logan gets up-close and personal with the X-Men; Elle casts Excalibur; Chris X-Plains Santa Claus; and you are still the best listeners of any podcast, ever.
X-PLAINED:
Excalibur: The Sword Is Drawn
Christmas at the X-Mansion
The best hair in the Marvel Universe
The not particularly secret origins of Excalibur
Mojoverse anxiety dreams
Warwolves
Meggan
Captain Britain (Brian Braddock)
Sexiest Nightcrawler
Technet (and several of its members)
Gatecrasher
Yap
Omniversal Majestrix Opal Luna Saturnine
The Special Executive
Mutant intersectionality
Why we chose the X-Men
Favorite X-Spinoffs
Our podcast-guest wish list
The theoretical cast of an Excalibur movie
Our ideal X-lineups
Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men
The Second Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence in X-Cellence
Marvel Holiday Special 1991
Santa Claus
The true meaning of Christmas
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
IT LIVES! Head over to FanBrosShow to listen to Part 1 of the Secret Convergence on Infinite Podcasts, where the Beyonder makes his podcast debut; and DJ BenHaMeen, Chico Leo, J. Rachel Edidin, Graeme McMillan, and Chris Sims discuss THE fundamental question of fandom: WHO WOULD WIN IN A FIGHT?
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 6/7/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
In which Chris and Chad teach us to stop worrying and love the ‘90s; the line between parody and homage is thin and flexible; everything happens at the mall; no one wants to play volleyball with Cyclops; and we totally fail to resolve the question, “Does a mall babe eat chili fries?”
WARNING: This episode contains minor spoilers for X-Men ’92 #1.
X-PLAINED:
The Westchester Wars
Battleworld
X-Men ’92 #1
Digital vs. print pacing
A continuity error
Narrative restrictions of Battleworld
The actual X-Men of 1992 (and the post-Claremont X-Universe)
X-Men Adventures
X-Men Collector’s Edition
Mutatant Genesis
X-Cutioner’s Song
Early Deadpool
Piecing together the Marvel Universe from trading cards
The X-Men animated series
Concurrent and complimentary adaptation
Cassandra Nova ‘92
The fine line between homage and parody
Definitive story arcs of the 1990s
NEXT WEEK: Rachel Summers and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Art by David Wynne. Prints and travel mugs available until 1/11/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Hope you survive the… oh, wait. (Uncanny X-Men #123)
Next Issue: Spider-Man quotes Atlas Shrugged until the Fantastic Four politely ask him to leave. (Uncanny X-Men #123)
Cyclops: the worst at dates, or definitely the worst at dates? (Uncanny X-Men #123)
Pause for a moment to take in the glory of this perfect murder truck and its perfect sound effects. (Uncanny X-Men #123)
Just for the record, we would TOTALLY read a comic about Cracklin’ Rosa. (Uncanny X-Men #123)
Well. That happened. (Uncanny X-Men #123)
Arcade: Really good at his job, until he’s not. (Uncanny X-Men #123)
It’s a “Hope you survive the experience!” riff! Take a drink! (Uncanny X-Men #123)
Cyclops, look, we know you were kind of raised by a supervillain, but pro tip: people who kidnap you and drop you into funhouse death traps ARE GENERALLY NOT TO BE TRUSTED. (Uncanny X-Men #123)
The sound effect in the blast, tho. (Uncanny X-Men #123)
COSPLAY THIS MAN COSPLAY HIM RIGHT NOW (Uncanny X-Men #123)
If Arcade ever makes it to the big screen, he damn well better be played by Jim Rash. Just sayin’. (Uncanny X-Men #123)
Who gift-wraps the hostages? Do they just have those boxes sitting around? WE MAY NEVER KNOW. (Uncanny X-Men #124)
Cyclops solves problems with optic blasts and geometry! Take a drink! (Uncanny X-Men #124)
‘Kay, then. (Uncanny X-Men #124)
Starring the Most Reluctant X-Men Ever (after that one team Jean Grey put together when Magneto had Professor X hostage in the Savage Land, or I guess probably any other version of the team involving Sunfire). (Uncanny X-Men #146)
Let’s take a moment of silence for how much more awesome this panel would be if Arcade were toying idly with a HeroQuest set. (Uncanny X-Men #146)
GOD, Arcade! Don’t you know ANYTHING? (Uncanny X-Men #146)
More festive pudding-cup hostages! Why? Why not? (Uncanny X-Men #146)
No, but, seriously. (Uncanny X-Men #146)
Phil and Tobe are the Harvey and Janet of Doom Minions. (Uncanny X-Men #147)
Aw, Tobe. You’re a stand-up minion. (Uncanny X-Men #147)
The hell whaaaaat? (Uncanny X-Men #197)
This is kind of like when you go to someone’s house and you’re looking for the bathroom and you open a door that you’re pretty sure is the door to the bathroom and it’s actually a room full of robots dressed up like all your mutual friends. I mean, that happens to other people, right? (Uncanny X-Men #197)
‘Kay. (Uncanny X-Men #197)
THIS TRAIN MONSTER IS SO GOOD. (Uncanny X-Men #197)
You know she’s been saving that one up for like a year. (Uncanny X-Men #197)
I kind of love Arcade and Miss Locke’s original dynamic, before it got super screwed up and sex-murdery. (Uncanny X-Men #197)
NEXT WEEK: Miles returns, and Cloak and Dagger meet the New Mutants!
Places Where You can Find Chris Sims on the Internets:
Art by David Wynne. Prints and travel mugs available until 1/11/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
In which we welcome back Emergency Backup Co-Host Chris Sims; comics writers are basically supervillains; Cyclops is not here to have fun; Spider-Man flirts with objectivism; Murderworld is probably not financially sustainable; you should totally cosplay the Proletarian; Arcade may or may not secretly be the Archie Andrews of Earth-616; and Doctor Doom remains absolutely delightful.
X-Plained
Captain Britain
Arcade
Francisco Scaramanga
The vastly inferior Arcade of Earth-1610
Uncanny X-Men #123-124, 146-147, 197
Chris’s first X-Men
A really sweet truck
Spider-Man’s brief flirtation with objectivism
What the X-Men do on their night off
Hella nipples
Murderworld
Miss Locke
Mr. Chambers
Marvel comics in the Marvel Universe
A large number of elaborate deathtraps
Soviet Nick Fury
The Proletarian
Hostage-wrapping
Phil and Tobe
One way to celebrate your birthday
Avengers Arena
Miss Coriander
The best non-X Arcade stories
The end of Axis Sixis
Arcade at the Arcade
NEXT WEEK: Cloak and Dagger!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Yeah, so, Dani, maybe get a handle on that. (New Mutants #1)
Remember, at this point, as far as everyone on Earth knew, the X-Men were dead. (New Mutants #1)
Oh, Storm. (New Mutants #1)
Meanwhile on Muir Island, REVELATIONS! (New Mutants #1)
“You’re not the X-Men. You’re just, um, wearing their original superhero costumes. Because, stuff.” (New Mutants #1)
OH, SHIT. THOSE GUYS. (New Mutants #1)
Well, that’ll end well. (New Mutants #2)
Gyrich realizes that part of the price of appearing in an X-Men book is occasionally having your conversation partner drop out for an extended inner monologue. (New Mutants #2)
“Son, I know Peter Corbeau, and you’re no Peter Corbeau.” (New Mutants #2)
Mostly including this to point out that FANDOM ZONE is a great name for a comics shop. (New Mutants #2)
FORESHADOWING. (New Mutants #3)
OH, NO! (New Mutants #3)
Aw, Illyana. (New Mutants #3)
Remember that time Bob McLeod drew a full page of a teenager and casual nudity and there was no sexualization whatsoever? Because that was RAD. (New Mutants #3)
Oooh, clever! (New Mutants #3)
Reinforcing the case for X-Men watching Star Trek. (New Mutants #3)
Aw, bros. And Magnum, P.I. For more on what happens next, see Episode 20. (New Mutants #3)
The more things change… (New Mutants #4)
That one time Professor Xavier wasn’t a jerk. (New Mutants #4)
And then the New Mutants just straight-up broke into a school dance. (New Mutants #4)
AW, SAM. (New Mutants #4)
WHY WOULD YOU PUT ALL THAT TNT THERE? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? (New Mutants #4)
… (New Mutants #4)
ETHICS. (New Mutants #4)
For more on these baffling gentlemen, see the links below.
Well, hello, Viper and Silver Samurai. (New Mutants #5)
Oh! Of course! Team America! Because, um, right, those guys. (New Mutants #5)
‘Kay. (New Mutants #5)
Xavier X-Plains the A-plot. (New Mutants #5)
Wait, what? (New Mutants #5)
Aw, Shan. (New Mutants #6)
Aw, Shan. (New Mutants #6)
Not that Black Mesa. (New Mutants #6)
Well, I think we can all be pretty excited that Team America have finally learned to control their dangerous power of making an extra good motorcycle dude. Dodged a bullet there. (New Mutants #6)
Next Week: NYCC Special, with Russell Dauterman and Kris Anka!
In which Danielle Moonstar is the Wolverine of the New Mutants, Henry Peter Gyrich is the Walter Peck of the Marvel Universe, Michael Rossi is no Peter Corbeau, Xavier is a Brood Queen (who is a jerk), Bob McLeod draws really good teenagers, the New Mutants do an after-school special, Chris Sims drops in for some emergency X-Plaining, Elsie Carson is the Harvey and Janet of Hydra, and Team America is generally sort of baffling.
X-Plained
Viper
Brood stuff
The original New Mutans (more) (again)
The New Mutants #1-6
Denial
Dani vs. the Danger Room
Mall stories
Neighborhood kids
Henry Peter Gyrich
Sebastian Shaw (again)
Project Wideawake (sort of)
Michael Rossi
A poorly-timed crossover
Gabrielle Haller
A profoundly unethical relationship
A Very Special Episode
Overkill
Magnum, P.I.
Team America (but not that one)
Elsie Carson, middle manager of Hydra
The Girl With the Silver Eyes
X-Men reading order
The visual companion for this episode will go up mid-week, due to New York Comic-Con generally kicking our asses (Among MANY other things, Rachel is tweeting–mostly cool X-cosplay pics–from the show floor, and Miles is working at the Dark Horse booth. Come say hi!). Meanwhile, for further supplemental material, we recommend reading Chris’s in-depth history of Team America:
