In which Onslaught is a party that goes on way too long; we are grateful that the Hand is mostly someone else’s problem; there’s always time to get hosed down by firemen; and Emma Frost should never, under any circumstances, cook.
X-PLAINED:
The Golden Archer
Wolverine #104-105
Generation X #18-19
Portions of Elektra’s deal
Stick
Wolverine’s nose
Gateway and Onslaught
Several flashbacks
The Onslaught goblin
Retcons and character accountability
A wet open
A somewhat atypical plane flight
Toad by way of Chris Bachalo
The mysterious DL
Emma’s Montreal mansion and its staff
Cooking with Emma Frost
Quasi-benevolent mind control
Surgeon
A bonus Shadowcat power
Digital invisibility
NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk
NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught tie-ins!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Photo backgrounds are among his arcane talents. (Uncanny X-Men #329)
*skitter* (Uncanny X-Men #329)
Seriously, I love this concept. (Uncanny X-Men #329)
If I had a dollar for every time I’d seen an angry man pull a tiny dude out of the back of an old woman, I would be… well, broke, but that’s not the point. (Uncanny X-Men #329)
Ah, yes, the sacred goth club. (Uncanny X-Men #329)
Seriously, there is no reasonable justification for this. (Uncanny X-Men #330)
Note: He pulled that figurine out of Archangel’s chest. (Uncanny X-Men #330)
Looks like one of those days. (X-Men #50)
Sure, why not? (X-Men #50)
WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE BEAST? (X-Men #50)
Another day, another giant floating head in the Xavier manor. (X-Men #50)
In which the podcast turns seven; Matt has officially edited half the podcast; a lot of things are made by metal; Doctor Strange is a big weirdo; Gambit is a scoundrel, not a villain; Wolverine goes goth; Onslaught could probably use a better herald; Bishop fires two guns whilst going aaaaaaa; and we commit to making what sense we can of Onslaught.
X-PLAINED:
How Betsy got her body back
Several simultaneous anniversaries
Uncanny X-Men #329-330
X-Men #50
Some ninja bullshit
A lot of less-benign-than-it-looks racism
Excellent use of a neon sign
An odd couple
The evolution of art tools
Steam vs. metal
Gomurr the Ancient
The Ebon Vein
Catastrophic magic
Our favorite iterations of Doctor Strange
The Crimson Dawn
How one becomes Gomurr the Ancient
Tar (Proctor of the Crimson Dawn)
Post (Herald of Onslaught)
An entity who may or may not be Onslaught
Continuity party tricks
Survivors of the Age of Apocalypse
NEXT EPISODE: Brood X!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
It’s okay. They’re just gonna end up in another dimension. Kind of. I guess. (Cable #15)
If Thornn had managed to catch her, would she have joined up with Artie and Leech to become an unstoppable triumvirate of moppets? The world may never know. (Cable #15)
NOW KISS (Cable #15)
The Ceremony of Light. (Cable #15)
In six years, Paige is definitely going to be the drunk girl standing outside the women’s bathroom and very sincerely telling everyone who goes in or comes out how beautiful they are. (Generation X #5)
Just don’t try any allogrooming and you’ll be okay. (Generation X #5)
I LOVE THIS TURTLE. (Generation X #5)
Not Davis, and that’s okay. (Generation X #5)
There is… a lot going on here. (Generation X #6)
You may have a lot of monitors, Dark Beast, but you’ll never top Cameron Hodge as Quintessential Villain with a Roomful of Monitors. (Generation X #6)
Bachalo draws such good Wolverine! (Generation X #6)
Next Episode: holy shit jay wrote an x-men comic
LINKS & FURTHER SHAMELESS PROMOTION:
You can find relevant info about X-Men: Marvels Snapshots #1 over here…
…and find a comics shop from which to purchase it here…
In which Cable has clearly inherited his father’s inability to go on a date that doesn’t end disastrously; Husk is a lightweight; we are very taken with a turtle; you really don’t want to run into the other Hemingway in an elevator, either; Jubilee can speak in logos; and Wolverine gives some fatherly advice.
X-PLAINED:
One way to get your powers back
Cable #15
Generation X #5-6
X-Men: Marvels Snapshots #1 (Coming September 16)
Cable, in general
A date
“Sheer” fabrics
What we’d bring to desert islands
Sarah (Marrow)
The Ceremony of Light
Several generations of mutant teenagers
Generation X and its members (more) (again)
Chamber’s socks
Gateway’s taste in television
Husk’s extremely low alcohol tolerance
Some cool lettering
Banshee is to Chris Bachalo as Nightcrawler is to Alan Davis
Fridge wolves
NYC celebrity encounters
The ongoing legacy of X-kids with gross powers
Teenagers
Hemingway, but not that Hemingway
The return of Artie and Leech
Bones
How we would incorporate the X-Men into the MCU
NEXT EPISODE: Snapshots!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
To his credit, I’d be pretty nonplussed if this fell through my ceiling. (Weapon X #2)
The setup… (Weapon X #2)
…and the punchline. (Weapon X #2)
I see what you did, there. (Weapon X #3)
She doesn’t seem to have a sash, so I’m just going to go ahead and assume that Carol-295 just carries rhythmic gymnastic ribbons to make her leaps look more dramatic. (Weapon X #3)
This version of Gateway is really cool, and deserves both more page space and more analysis than he gets. (Weapon X #3)
CAROL FOREVER. (Weapon X #3)
Was Logan just, like, saving this for a rainy day? (Weapon X #4)
That is certainly one way to navigate an airship. (Weapon X #4)
You know nothing pleasant is going to follow this sound effect. (Weapon X #4)
‘Kay. (Weapon X #4)
NEXT EPISODE: Vulcan is still the worst Summers Brother in any universe, though.
In which we celebrate a birthday; nuclear war is never a good Plan A; every Logan is Old Man Logan; we are underwhelmed by the Pretty Boys of Earth-295; Jean Grey is one hell of a pilot; there are so many reasons not to like Donald Pierce; teleporters are the narrative nuclei of the Age of Apocalypse; and Gateway of Earth-295 deserves significantly more in-depth exploration than we can provide.
X-PLAINED:
Weapon X (Logan)
Weapon X #1-4
Irony
Coordinating costumes to tattoos (and vice versa)
How to ride a sentinel
Apocalypse’s sea wall
Mutant power classifications
The mass human evacuation
Nuclear war
Magma
A load of malarkey
Interactions of telepathy and PTSD
The Pretty Boys of Earth-295
How not to jump out of a zeppelin
What Carol Danvers smells like
Gateway (Earth-295)
An exceptionally high-tech guilt trip
Unconventional navigation
Character transformations between universes
The complex conundrum of Jean Grey
When humans became aware about mutants
Logan’s D&D alignment
Our own D&D character histories
NEXT EPISODE: Factor X!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
The movie with the hipster fuckghost is The Spirit of Christmas, which involves disappointingly little ghostfucking but surprisingly accurate 19th-century bartending.
In which Jay would absolutely fight Christmas; we welcome guest X-Perts Christina Strain and Chip Zdarsky; a gift arrives; we consider the relationship of Generation X to Generation X; it is really not okay to leave your discarded skins lying around; D.O.A. is inordinately delightful; Chamber is the punk Shadow; Gateway goes to school; the Generation X TV movie is very, very bad; telepathy is free; the grown-ups are all right; home sucks; freedom rocks; Mondo deserves better; Matt Frewer did most things first; Kevin McNulty has appeared in literally everything; and you remain our favorites, ever.
X-PLAINED:
Mutation, for some value of the term
Holidays and the observation thereof
December 9
Jay’s ideal Christmas
How Chris Bachalo’s name is pronounced (more) (again) (sorry)
Several promotions
Generation X
Generation X #1-4
Generation X
Husk (Paige Guthrie)
M (Monet St. Croix)
Skin (Angelo Espinosa)
Synch (Everett Thomas)
Chamber (Jonothon Starsmore)
The New Xavier School for Gifted Youngsters
Counting Genises
The housekeeping implications of body horror
The M retcon
Continuity in costume design
The Danger Grotto
Emplate (somewhat)
D.O.A.
Penance (not that one)
Scrabble burns
An alternate take on power duplication
Mondo ()
The return of Nanny and the Orphanmaker
Eliot ()
A tentative friendship
How the Age of Apocalypse comes to Generation X
A movie that never fails to disappoint
The vagaries of adaptation
The best on-screen Emma Frost
Gang emails of the 1990s
Refrax
Buff
William Castle
The comedic genealogy of Max Headroom
Hatley Castle
The 2019 Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence
NEXT WEEK: Jay & Miles go on vacation!
NEXT EPISODE: Bishop goes solo!
Special thanks to Christina Strain, Douglas Wolk, and Chip Zdarsky; and–always–to Matt Hunter, David Wynne, Tea Fougner, Anna Sheffey, and all of our patrons and listeners!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
