Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 421 – Dudleyworld or Bust

Listen to the podcast here.


421 – Dudleyworld or Bust

In which one letter can make a big difference; it’s just not Arcade without giant pinballs; Colossus is nobody’s fool; Margali Szardos is not a relative you want to stay in touch with; Nightcrawler turns to the jerk side; and Jay and Miles pitch an X-Men kids’ show.

X-PLAINED:

  • Elisabeth Wilford vs. Elizabeth Wilford
  • Colossus #1
  • X-Men Unlimited #19
  • How to name a miniseries or one-shot
  • The destructive potential of happiness
  • A clock
  • An inaccurate duplicate of Avalon
  • The return of the Proletarian
  • Costumes with characters’ faces on them
  • Death by irony
  • A journey to Limbo
  • Several blasts from the past
  • Margali Szardos’s head
  • Foreshadowing that we desperately wish had panned out
  • Cold open curation
  • A hypothetical X-Men show for five-year-olds

NEXT EPISODE: The secret origin of Maggott


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As Mentioned in Episode 405 – Morally Purple

Listen to the episode here.



LINKS & FURTHER BACKSTORY

405 – Morally Purple

In which Jay returns; babies are bad at pretty much everything; continuity flies straight out the window; Cable should speak English with a Scottish accent; Harry Leland knows how to dress; Tanya Trask makes the same time travel mistake everyone makes; and we love Al Kennedy forever.

X-PLAINED:

  • Sentry (but not that one)
  • Babies
  • Flashback
  • Cable #-1
  • Excalibur #-1
  • Generation X #-1
  • Uncanny X-Men #-1
  • The preturn of Angus McWhirter, angry hovercraft-rental guy
  • Hippie Cable
  • Veins of science
  • Yet another time travel loop
  • What may or may not be how Nightcrawler quit the circus
  • Sabu
  • “Science”
  • A large volume of dubious continuity
  • Larry Trask (more) (again)
  • Jay’s cosplay aspirations
  • Sanctity (Tanya Trask)
  • The Twelve (somewhat)
  • A possible splinter timeline
  • The X-Men of 1602
  • Rube Goldberg

NEXT EPISODE: Flashback continues!


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359 – Meanwhile in Britain

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Excalibur has a lot going on; Margali Szardos is never up to any good; Nightcrawler grows into leadership; we delve into the politics of superheroism; Pete Wisdom earns his keep; Miles catches a Prisoner reference; and we reach the end of Warren Ellis’ Excalibur.

X-PLAINED:

  • John the Skrull
  • Excalibur #100-103
  • The current state of Excalibur
  • Black Air (again)
  • The Hellfire Club (London Branch)
  • Australia
  • Margali Szardos (more)
  • Demonic ethernet
  • Captain Britain’s new-old suit
  • Emma Steed
  • Dune
  • Several fights
  • Combat IT
  • Boolean definitions of madness
  • The Department
  • Laserdisks
  • Patriotism
  • Many doppelgangers
  • Nightcreeper
  • Another reference to Dante’s Inferno

NEXT EPISODE: Some absolute nonsense


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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 276 – Wizard Problems

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LINKS & FURTHER DIVERSIONS:

276 – Wizard Problems

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Excalibur gets a regular writer again; we judge a book against against its covers; nothing good ever comes from being sexy on Muir Isle; and the soul sword’s real power is cutting through continuity.

X-PLAINED:

  • Stegron
  • Dinosaur powers
  • Excalibur #83-85 (The Soul Sword Trilogy)
  • Warren Ellis on Excalibur
  • Excalibur (more) (again)
  • Bends Sinister and Bend Sinister
  • Outsider days
  • Mail
  • Boundaries
  • Darkoth
  • Gravemoss
  • The Winding Way
  • Shrill
  • A problematic prosthesis
  • Roger Corman’s The Raven
  • A large number of continuity errors
  • Gratuitous dickery
  • An untold tale
  • The semantics of skin removal
  • Possession vs. retrograde amnesia
  • The circle of nostalgia

NEXT EPISODE: Jorts Unlimited!


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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 256 – Mullets of Time and Space

Listen to the podcast here!



LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING:

256 – Mullets of Time and Space

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which you raised a lot of money for Trans Lifeline; we continue to miss Alan Davis; Rory Campbell should not be narrating a climactic event; Daytripper needs to dial up her eldritch patter; the universe is dubiously self-correcting; Britannic is not nearly weird enough; and we have ongoing concerns about the anatomy of incarnate concepts.

X-PLAINED:

  • The X-Men of Earth-77995
  • Excalibur #75-77
  • Daytripper
  • A somewhat pointless sacrifice
  • Rough times in the timestream
  • Britannic
  • X-theology
  • D’Spayre’s butt
  • The rest of D’Spayre
  • Margali Szardos
  • The blood-brain barrier
  • Acrobatic flirtation
  • The Winding Way
  • Stark emptiness
  • A shocking possible resurrection
  • Major X
  • Essential characters

NEXT EPISODE: The Adventures of Rachel Summers in the 37th Century!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 134 – Live at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival

Listen to the episode here.



Here are the lyrics to all thirty-nine verses of Dear Mister Sinister (you’ll have to hit Tea or Scott up for the chords):

Dear Mister Sinister
My name is Alex; I’ve
Got a school project
I hope you can help with
 
My teacher said we have to
Map out our families
Parents and grandparents
Brothers and sisters
 
She gave us poster board
She gave us markers, but
I’m having trouble with
Several specifics
 
You see, I’m adopted
But I’ve got a brother
We used to have parents
We don’t anymore
 
Dad’s name was Christopher
Mom’s name was Katherine
Dad’s mom and dad were named
Philip and Deborah
 
That part is easy, the
Trouble’s my brother, see
His name is Scott and he’s
Kind of a pain
 
But that’s not the problem, the
Problem is Maddy and
Nathan and Rachel and
Also some time travel
 
Maddy is Scott’s ex, and
Nathan’s their son, he
Grew up in the future
And Scott and Jean raised him
 
Jean is another ex
Maddy’s her clone, but
Jean’s also the Phoenix
Except so is Rachel
 
Rachel’s Scott’s kid
(with Jean not with Maddy)
She’s Mother Askani
Or she will be someday
 
(‘Cept Scott’s not her father
At least, not my brother
Because she was born in
An alternate timeline
 
That said, her parentage
Is somewhat hazy; it
Involves the Phoenix and
Parthenogenesis)
 
Rachel cloned Nathan in
Case of emergency
That clone is Stryfe; he
Was raised by Apocalypse
 
Nathan’s got Hope
Who is also adopted
(She isn’t a clone, though
Her last name was Spalding)
 
His son was named Tyler
But Wolverine killed him
And then we all kind of
Forgot he’d existed
 
But that’s Nathan Summers
Nate Grey’s someone different
He’s kind of like Rachel, but
From a worse timeline
 
Nate is a clone or grew
Up in a test tube; And
You might have raised him (Well,
Not you, exactly)
 
And now Scott’s with Emma
And Ruby’s their daughter, at
Least in one future where
Scott is a cyborg
 
They also have kids from
A different timeline; a
daughter named Meagan
With twin baby sisters
 
I married Jan in an
Alternate future and
We had a daughter but
Kang started meddling
 
Our daughter’s named Katie
Or will be or was, and
Her timeline is gone and
It’s kind of an issue
 
Did I forget Hepzibah?
She’s Dad’s new girlfriend, ’cause
Dad’s alive after all
And he’s a space pirate
 
Speaking of space stuff, I
Should mention Gabriel
My younger brother, at
Least ’til I killed him
 
He was born after mom died
And aged artificially
He married Deathbird and
Then he killed Dad again
 
Deathbird was pregnant
The Kree got involved and now;
No one is certain if
She’s given birth yet
 
Oh! And I should tell you
That I am some sort of
Multiversal nexus
Which complicates matters
 
See, there’s also Scotty
(My son, not my brother)
Well, not mine exactly
A parallel Alex’s
 
And that Alex married
a Madelyne Pryor
Who in this dimension
Is Scott’s ex-wife Maddy
 
(I mean Scott, my brother,
Of whom there are two now
And one is sixteen it’s
Incredibly awkward)
 
I’m also supposed
To trace my name’s history
That’s also a problem, see,
‘Cause there’s a time loop
 
‘Cause once Scott went back to
The late Nineteenth Century
To thwart a villain
Or something like that
 
And he saved a guy who
I think was your prisoner
His surname name was Edge, but
He changed it to Summers
 
He came to the States and he’s
My twice-great granddad, which
All seems a bit too
Complex for a poster
 
That’s why I am writing; see,
Your machinations are
Largely at fault for the
Mess that I’m in
 
I used to blame Scott but
It’s really not his fault
You’re clearly the one
Who was pulling the strings
 
Out of some weird obsession
With all our genetics
(Well, less so with mine, but
It’s still pretty creepy)
 
I mean, you cloned Scott’s girlfriend
And kidnapped my nephew
The least you can do is
Help me diagram this
 
Yours very sincerely,
Alex “Havok” Summers
(Scott’s younger brother)
(In case you’d forgotten)
 
Dear Mister Sinister
My name is Alex; I’ve
Got a school project
I hope you can help with