death – Page 2 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

224 – Fix the Future

November 25, 2018 Jay 24 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Alan Davis performs his pièce de résistance; the personification of Death is surprisingly supportive; Rachel Summers is the One True Phoenix; Kitty Pryde goes full ’90s; syntax saves the world; and the first Excalibur series should really have ended with #67.

X-PLAINED:

Origins of Phoenix mythology
Excalibur #61-67
The Phoenix Force (more) (again)
Rachel Summers (more) (again)
Earth-811 (more) (again)
Phoenix vs. Galactus
A pep talk from Death
The One True Phoenix
The dark, distant future of 2013
The dark, even more distant future of 2015
The extremely complicated future of Kate Pryde
Rory Campbell / Ahab
What may or may not be Ahab’s theme song
Moby Dick, kind of
That one time Widget was a car
Resistance Coordination Executive
Dark Angel
Killpower
Albion
Grace
Tangerine
Arthur
An Excalibur #54 callback
Excalibur (the gun)
Kitty’s new image
How to hack the robot apocalypse
Saved by the Bell: The College Years
Where Excalibur should have ended
Tactical use of Magneto’s hat
Anti-assimilation stories in X-Men

NEXT EPISODE: The Passion of Butter Rum (feat. Austin Gorton)

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 208 – The X-Patriots

August 5, 2018 Jay 2 comments

Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Prodigal Was Right. (X-Factor #81)

No matter how many times I look at this, I still imagine this dude moving like tumbleweed. (X-Factor #82)

HEY, LOOK, MARVEL GOT A NEW LICENSE! (X-Factor #82)

Havok: Actually a reasonably good boss! (X-Factor #82)

I spent a LOT of time googling jaw injuries to try to figure out what the hell the hardware on Lorna’s face is supposed to be. Verdict: IT’S A MYSTERY. (X-Factor #82)

Live your best life, Toad. (X-Factor #82)

The fastest withering insults in the West. (X-Factor #82)

The new Phantazia.

THIS IS A VALID CONCERN. (X-Factor #82)

(It’s okay; Sam’s fine and possibly immortal.) (X-Factor #82)

Remember like five pages ago when it was a big deal that Lorna’s jaw was wired shut? (X-Factor #82)

I feel you, Lukas. (X-Factor #83)

Oh, this is gonna be awkward. (X-Factor #83)

WELL THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY. (X-Factor #83)

They’re going to bond over how much they hate everyone else. (X-Factor #83)

I’m still trying to figure this out. Maybe mutate children are artificially physically matured as part of the mutate process? (X-Factor #83)

Stairs are funny. (X-Factor #83)

Sure, why not? (X-Factor #83)

Aw, they’re best friends now. Because they’re both jerks. (X-Factor #83)

Poor Zachary. (X-Factor #83)

He’ll be okay, but this storyline is not going to get resolved until after X-Cutioner’s Song. (X-Factor #83)

Rick Chalker, on the other hand, will definitely not be okay. (X-Factor #83)

NEXT EPISODE: X-Editor Jordan D. White!

LINKS & FURTHER ENRICHMENT:

FLAMECON IS ONLY TWO WEEKS AWAY! COME SEE US! WE ARE DELIGHTFUL!
As Jay mentioned in this episode, The Ren & Stimpy Show was created by a really fucking terrible person. (CW: child abuse, predatory grooming, and a whole bunch of other horrific stuff.)
You can get the skinny on Jenny Ransome and Philip Moreau in Episode 99 – Those Who Walk Away from Genosha.

208 – The X-Patriots

August 5, 2018 Jay 16 comments

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In which nobody wears the pants in the X-Plain family; Havok is a remarkably okay boss; Polaris may want to find a new doctor; Quicksilver has no time for your nonsense; we are very conditionally okay with resurrections; and if you spoil Season 5 of Steven Universe for Miles, we will never ever ever forgive you.

X-PLAINED:

Jay & Miles at FlameCon
Advantages of recording remotely
X-Factor #81-83
What Genosha’s been up to
Prodigal
An impassioned speech
An unfortunate accident
Yet another return(ish) of Sauron
Chain of command
Lukas
Pirouette
Yet another justification for the name of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants
Phantazia (again)
Immovable vs. unstoppable
What you do on a boat
Taylor
When Havok still cared
“The Mutant Rap”
Adventures in New York
How to bond with Quicksilver
An angry mob
A derailed storyline
The ignominious death of Rick Chalker
Our opinions on the revolving door of death
X-Men vs. electronics
Superheroes from the Balkans
Theoretical X-Men and Steven Universe team-ups

NEXT EPISODE: X-Editor Jordan D. White!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 195 – Johnny Got His Robot Arm

April 29, 2018 Jay Leave a comment

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

LOOK AT ALL THOSE POUCHES. (X-Force #8)

And now for something completely different. (X-Force #8)

Fun fact: You can drop this dialogue into almost any panel involving Cable and at least one other character, and it’ll still work. (X-Force #8)

On one hand: Mignola is great. On the other hand: I have some questions about the decision to just straight-up draw Garrison Kane as Marlon Brando. (X-Force #8)

Aw, A.I.M., you wacky kids. (X-Force #8)

Cable’s sense of drama is ON POINT. (X-Force #8)

Domino is pretty genre-aware. (X-Force #9)

Not gonna lie: I dig Liefeld’s take on Blob. (X-Force #9)

If you weren’t imagining Feral’s line in the voice of a 10-year-old Danny Tamberelli, congratulations: you are now. (X-Force #9)

‘Kay. (X-Force #9)

And that, kids, is why balloon placements matter. (I mean, there are a lot of other reasons, too. But this is one of them.) (X-Force #9)

Stryfe’s armor doesn’t just have nipples. Stryfe’s armor has FOUR nipples. (X-Force #10)

Nothing is okay about this picture. (X-Force #10)

Speaking of likenesses, remember the time Cannonball was David Bowie? (X-Force #10)

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur vs. the Anti-Phoenix!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

Shing Yin Khor’s A.I.M. comics are delightful.
Jay’s Bela Lugosi is but a pale imitation of the real deal.

195 – Johnny Got His Robot Arm

April 29, 2018 Jay 23 comments

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In which Jay may have Stockholm syndrome; Nick Fury is objectively sillier than G. W. Bridge; we get a brief artistic reprieve; Cable’s legal expertise does not extend to trademarks; our favorite Ship returns; Miles’s grandmother calls it like it is; Sauron is bad at taxonomy; and Garrison Kane is basically a very violent Inspector Gadget.

X-PLAINED:

Brother Mutant
X-Force #8-10
X-Force (again)
A protracted flashback
The Wild and/or Six Pack
A heist
A trap
Yet more Ed Wood references
A future
The Professor (Ship)
Gratuitous face shadows
A mystery
Cable casting
Several misplaced word balloons
The logistics of tentacle arms
The High Lords (Externals)
Michael Bay’s Johnny Got His Gun
General Clark and his diving suit
Good Magneto stories
How to get your dad into X-Men

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur vs. the Anti-Phoenix!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 157 – Melted to Slag

April 30, 2017 Jay 10 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!

I’m trying to imagine the Punisher in a bunch of different man-on-the-street segments, and it’s never not funny. (Uncanny X-Men #272)

Dramatis Personae and their dramatic wigs. (Uncanny X-Men #272)

Oh, dear. (Uncanny X-Men #272)

“Also, Nightcrawler had a ghost friend briefly.” (Uncanny X-Men #272)

One of Hodge’s more pronounced Mojo moments. (Uncanny X-Men #272)

Okay, that’s legitimately impressive. (Uncanny X-Men #272)

[Insert Rocketeer reference here.] (Uncanny X-Men #272)

MIND, SPIRIT, and BODY! (Uncanny X-Men #272)

Seriously, though, how is Wolverine’s mask staying on? Discuss. (New Mutants #97)

‘Kay. (New Mutants #97)

Zowie! (New Mutants #97)

Scary Rahne is so good. (New Mutants #97)

“Topless Havok will lead us to victory!” (X-Factor #62)

Included for scale, mostly. (X-Factor #62)

Neither of you deserve her. (X-Factor #62)

Wonder Twins Powers, go! (X-Factor #62)

Damn, that’s satisfying. (X-Factor #62)

That, too. (X-Factor #62)

Spoiler: It’s the second one. (X-Factor #62)

NEXT EPISODE: Jay and Miles take a three-month hiatus. See you in August!

157 – Melted to Slag

April 30, 2017 Jay 46 comments

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In which the X-Tinction Agenda reaches its Return of the Jedi; Wolverine is a weaponized nuisance; HR would like a word with Gambit; Havok gets framed; Cameron Hodge is the great unifier; Genosha is revolting; you don’t get to make a threatening speech about someone else’s powers; Jean Grey is tired of your bullshit; and Jay and Miles may or may not dive into the Siege Perilous!

X-PLAINED:

The Law of Conservation of Plot Elements
Uncanny X-Men #272
New Mutants #97
X-Factor #62
The Story So Far
Glasses fashions in comics
The difference between Batman and the Punisher
How to tell that something has gone terribly wrong
Acceptable pants
Some really sketchy judicial process
A ruse
Several retcons concerning Wolverine
Consequence-free impaling
Chekhov’s genetic engineering
Louise Simonson’s final issue of New Mutants
The relative durability of mutants
A number of prescient threats
This one time Jay and Miles got paid to throw a bunch of printers down a flight of stairs
Summers Brothers team-ups
A very cathartic fight
Thoughts on books as physical artifacts and collecting comics
Places to jump into long X-series on Marvel Unlimited
Our plans for the hiatus

THE PODCAST WILL BE ON HIATUS DURING MAY, JUNE, AND JULY, 2017! SEE YOU IN AUGUST!

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 156 – Genosha Strikes Back

April 23, 2017 Jay 6 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Contact David to purchase the original!

Just in case you’ve forgotten since last week! (Uncanny X-Men #271)

Here, have some New Mutants, while we’re at it. (Uncanny X-Men #271)

The Technicolor Knight Returns! (Uncanny X-Men #271)

When even Evil!Sexy Moira has better scientific ethics than you, you’ve got some thinking to do, Moreau. (Uncanny X-Men #271)

“I mean, I know I played a central role in subjugating an entire people and subjecting them to unspeakable horrors, but sometimes I felt kinda bad about it!” (Uncanny X-Men #271)

She’s not wrong, dude. (Uncanny X-Men #271)

Awk-ward. (Uncanny X-Men #271)

Ahhh, THERE it is! (Uncanny X-Men #271)

Spoiler: Nah. (Uncanny X-Men #271)

Liefeld kick! Take a drink! (New Mutants #96)

“Also can I draw on her face with a sharpie?” (New Mutants #96)

When threatened, the wild Jubilee will fan out her tail in a display meant to intimidate predators. (New Mutants #96)

Jean’s face, tho. “Ugh, AGAIN.” (X-Factor #61)

Because we never get tired of those dramatis personae pages. (X-Factor #61)

Bogdanove’s Hodge really is the best Hodge. (X-Factor #61)

I’m pretty sure this is the first hint we’ve gotten at Cable’s mutant powers. (Based on eventually-established continuity, he should be dying of the T-O virus right now, but that wouldn’t be written in until much later.) (X-Factor #61)

These nerds. (X-Factor #61)

I wonder what’s in Xavier’s telepathically-derived files! (X-Factor #61)

That Charles Xavier keeps detailed files on which of his students want to bang each other is the least surprising thing I’ve read in my life. (X-Factor #61)

“I mean, except for the chokehold part! (X-Factor #61)

NEXT EPISODE: Revenge of the return of the X-Men!

LINKS & FURTHER READING

“Politics and the English Language,” by George Orwell, is one of Jay’s favorite essays of all time.
Now you, too, can be robot Jean Valjean.
Here’s Elle Collins’s X-Men reboot pitch at the late, great Comics Alliance.

156 – Genosha Strikes Back

April 23, 2017 Jay 28 comments

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In which we hit the Empire Strikes Back of X-Tinction Agenda; it’s hard to be Laura Kinney; the psychic knife makes its debut; Evil!Sexy Moira retains some moral high ground; if your society is built on slavery, your society deserves to crumble; words mean things; Havok would be a terrible housecat; the mutants do not have the patent on stupidity; the opposite of blades is cotton; we give Cameron Hodge’s severed head a pep talk; and Cyclops goes full Peralta.

X-PLAINED:

Uncanny X-Men #271, New Mutants #96, X-Factor #61
Laura Kinney’s brief babysitting career
Our upcoming hiatus
Dramatis personae
A figurative battering ram
Focused totality
Best insults of the 1990s
A debate
Ethics of rhetoric
Housecat Havok
Skittering
Mutate numbering systems
The Prisoner vs. Les Miserables
The slow disintegration of reality as we know it
Sneaking with Cable
A singularly anticlimactic cover
A lushly illustrated report
Increasingly petty revenge
S.H.I.E.L.D.’s most advanced bald cap
A rising storm
Art teams
What we’d like to see out of an X-Men cinematic reboot

NEXT EPISODE: Return of the Revenge of the X-Men

You can find the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)