Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Month: July 2023

As Mentioned in Episode 419 – Stuff Happens

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Run, Penance! The retcons are coming for you! (Generation X #40)
Hey, that’s not how telepathy works! (Generation X #40)
I’d be responding with a lot more middle fingers and lawsuits than Synch is here. (Generation X #40)
Monet, I know your brother is super evil and all, but do you really have to be so mean about it? (Generation X #40)
I see someone just earned their Villainous Wordplay merit badge! (Generation X #40)
Huh, that was easy. (Generation X #40)
…as Disney’s copyright lawyers back slowly away… (Generation X #40)
This issue’s an odd and somewhat troubling one, but damn that art is great. (Generation X #41)
Jubilee: from youngest X-Man to youngest Gen X’er. (Generation X #41)
AAAAAAAHHHHHHH (Generation X #41)
And once more I say AAAAAAAHHHHHHH (Generation X #41)
I’m impressed we can tell Emma and Paige apart for once, but what really impresses me is EVERYTHING ABOUT JUBILEE’S HAIR (Generation X #42)
Is… is this how flirting works? Have we been doing it wrong? (Generation X #42)
We’ll get to this. (Generation X #42)
The color of PAIN (Generation X #42)
It must be hard to be Just Some Dude in the Marvel Universe. (Generation X #42)
Why Gaia is probably actually a Neutrino from TMNT, figure 1. (Generation X #42)
Why Gaia is probably actually a Neutrino from TMNT, figure 2. (Generation X #42)
Hi, Elsie-Dee and Albert! Bye, Elsie-Dee and Albert! (Generation X #42)
I feel like Emma makes that face at Sean a lot. (Generation X #43)
This run may be baffling and bizarre, but I can’t say I’m not having a good time. (Generation X #43)
FUN FACT: Did you know that 1996’s Super Mario RPG was the first time Princess Peach, then called Princess Toadstool, used a frying pan as a weapon? (Generation X #43)
Oh right, these guys. (Generation X #43)
NEXT EPISODE: Queering Wolverine with Dr. Christopher Michael Roman!

419 – Stuff Happens

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Run, Penance! The retcons are coming for you! (Generation X #40)

In which the St. Croix family is constructed largely of retcons; Generation X adjusts surprisingly quickly to a massive status quo shift; Psi-War is coming soon to a podcast near you; Snow White – I mean, Bianca LaNeige – has an intriguing but exceptionally minimal backstory; and if you die in this podcast episode, you die in real life.

X-PLAINED:

  • Hellfire Club history
  • Generation X #40-43
  • MillXnials
  • Mercy General Hospital vs Our Mother of Mercy Hospital
  • Ambiguous psionic overlap
  • Nicole & Claudette & Monet & Marius St. Croix
  • The Downtown Stomp
  • Synch, agreeable and bland (for now)
  • Vincent Adultman
  • The nature of Penance
  • A glacial but effective pace
  • Bianca LaNeige, evil Snow White from space
  • Warpy, Stinky, Spiky, Windy, Greasy, Brainy, and Blurry
  • The Enchanted Forest of Oregon
  • Claremont:Body Swaps::Hama:Getting Stuck In Other Dimensions
  • Jay vs. Accents
  • Terminal Dream Syndrome
  • A surprisingly gruesome fill-in
  • An underrated era for Emma Frost
  • Betty & Veronica, presenting like mandrills
  • Zak the Neutrino
  • Albert & Elsie-Dee (briefly)
  • The Dodsons vs Mike Allred
  • Dr. Bronner’s uncredited Marvel career
  • Our coverage of Ultimate X-Men (or lack thereof)
  • Dr. Phil Zimbardo’s xplainthexmen study

NEXT EPISODE: Queering Wolverine with Dr. Christopher Michael Roman!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 418 – Reignfirefighters

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Those youth and their hijinks! (X-Force #77)
This is the branch of S.H.I.E.L.D. that shows up to assure you that all you saw was a weather balloon. (X-Force #77)
I’m never gonna be able to see a superhero conversation on a swingset without thinking of the Justice League Unlimited episode “Epilogue.” (X-Force #77)
The return of the bunny slippers! (X-Force #78)
Aw, Skids. (X-Force #78)
Some very good pacing. (X-Force #78)
Reignfire X-Plains Reignfire, somewhat. (X-Force #79)
Well, shit. (X-Force #79)
Fun Fact: Psychic powers work better when they look cooler. (X-Force #80)
Oh, dear me. (X-Force #80)
Dr. Joshua X-Plains Reignfire. (X-Force #80)
The Elvis windows really make this scene. (X-Force #80)
One more Elvis, for good measure. (X-Force #80)
NEXT EPISODE: Generation X and the Seven Dwarves!

418 – Reignfirefighters

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In which S.H.I.E.L.D. agents are scarier in suits; Reignfire is the new Erik the Red; “background assets” would be a very funny euphemism; it’s always either time travel or clones; and you should probably not get a corporate logo tattooed on the side of your head.

X-PLAINED:

  • Crimes of Dark Beast
  • X-Force #77-80
  • The Mutant Liberation Front
  • Reignfire (repeatedly)
  • Video Renaissance
  • Almost Reno, NM
  • The inversion of several common tropes
  • Small towns
  • Different kinds of mutants
  • X-Force Fun Facts
  • Skids (Sally Blevins)
  • Several continuity errors
  • Some kidnappings
  • Sexiness without prurience
  • Background assets
  • Dr. Joshua (again)
  • (Henry Wallinger)
  • Psychic shenanigans
  • Las Vegas
  • Word-balloon disambiguation
  • X-Force’s new HQ
  • Historical X-Men we’d like to see

NEXT EPISODE: Generation X and the Seven Dwarves

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

 

As Mentioned in Episode 417 – Pterodactyl with a Gun

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Rogue anxiety dreams like nobody’s business. (Uncanny X-Men #353)
We call this move the “Lois Lane.” (Uncanny X-Men #353)
I love it when people remember that the Xavier School is–at least ostensibly–a real school. (Uncanny X-Men #353)
WOLVERINE, WHAT THE HELL?!? (Uncanny X-Men #353)
Not the best place to hide incredibly sensitive mechanical equipment, y’all. (Uncanny X-Men #353)
This is supposed to be a clever bait-and-switch, but that hand is fairly obviously not Rogue’s. (Uncanny X-Men #353)
He sure is. (Uncanny X-Men #353)
Valid question, buddy. (Uncanny X-Men #354)
Sauron’s current whereabouts, X-Plained. (Uncanny X-Men #354)
Continued from previous. (Uncanny X-Men #354)
Fuckin’ Marvel Canadians. (Uncanny X-Men #355)
Remember answering machines? (Uncanny X-Men #355)
Yes, excellent. (Uncanny X-Men #355)
Hi, brainwashed Alpha Flight! (Uncanny X-Men #355)
This sequence is objectively perfect. (Uncanny X-Men #355)
Jean, you REALLY don’t spring that costume on someone. (Uncanny X-Men #354)
…Fair, though. (Uncanny X-Men #355)
NEXT EPISODE: this whole mess

417 – Pterodactyl with a Gun

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In which you, too, can use Cerebro; Jubilee is here, for some reason; the Xavier School should absolutely not be accredited; Hulk Hands would solve many of Rogue’s problems; Sauron gets a gun; Psylocke pulls a Lois Lane maneuver; you really shouldn’t spring a Phoenix costume on anybody; Joseph has (another) identity crisis; and Canada has problems.

X-PLAINED:

  • Miles at SDCC
  • Uncanny X-Men #353-355
  • X-Men #73
  • A running motif
  • Wolverine’s sons
  • Margaret Stone
  • “fun”
  • The location of the original X-jet
  • A red herring
  • Sauron (more) (again)
  • Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy… in space!
  • How to ship a pterodactyl
  • Mighty appendages
  • The Agee Institute
  • Boundaries
  • Wallpaper
  • Joseph (more) (again)
  • New Year’s Resolutions
  • Sebastian Shaw and his wraith buddy (again)
  • The X-Men’s answering machine
  • What Wolverine does
  • Alpha Flight
  • Canada problems
  • A crossover
  • Phoenix problems
  • Jean Grey’s ‘90s costume
  • Found families
  • What makes the Dark Phoenix Saga an X-Men story

NEXT EPISODE: Reignfire, resolved!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 416 – The Screaming Room

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Okay, but it’s pretty fucking creepy as a toy, too. (Excalibur #118)
Aaaaand there he goes. (Excalibur #118)
Meanwhile in AWESOME. (Excalibur #118)
Oh, THAT guy. (Excalibur #118)
Nightcrawler’s nightmare. (Excalibur #119)
Colossus’s nightmare. (Excalibur #119)
Shadowcat’s nightmare. (Excalibur #119)
Douglock’s nightmare. (Excalibur #119)
Meggan’s nightmare, featuring a whole lot of great cameos! (Excalibur #119)
I’m not a smoker, but I wanna learn to blow smoke rings like that. (Excalibur #119)
Ouch. (Excalibur #120)
NEXT EPISODE: Why, indeed.

416 – The Screaming Room

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In which we are incapable of X-Plaining the Great Lakes Avengers; Pete Wisdom evolves; Douglock hacks the island; Nightcrawler cosplays Nightcrawler; and we find ourselves bafflingly defensive of the Bamfs.

X-PLAINED:

  • How to recruit Unus the Untouchable to your super-team
  • What Excalibur has been up to
  • Excalibur #118-120
  • An excellent use of danger room technology
  • Some fairly deft metacommentary
  • Colossus vs. another tree
  • Bamfs and the character assassination thereof
  • Nightmare
  • Characterization via lettering
  • Several nightmare scenarios
  • Pete Wisdom vs. Nightmare
  • Meggan’s true form (again)
  • A poorly conceived romantic gesture
  • Foreshadowing
  • Relative Bamf quality
  • Other Marvel villains we’d like to see menace the X-Men
  • Our thoughts on Legion and The Gifted

NEXT EPISODE: A pterodactyl with a gun!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 415 – Stardust

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This is a cruel hoax. Mister Sinister appears nowhere in this miniseries. (Gambit vol. 2 #1)
Meet Olivier Stoker and his somewhat peculiar aesthetic. (Gambit vol. 2 #1)
Those playing-card captions. (Gambit vol. 2 #1)
WHAT THE HELL IS IN THE BOX, THOUGH?!?!!? (Gambit vol. 2 #1)
She must be an angel: surely no mere mortal’s hair would censor their swimsuit areas with such precision. (Gambit vol. 2 #1)
WHY IS THERE A TENTACLE (Gambit vol. 2 #2)
Spooning with Sister Katrina. (Gambit vol. 2 #2)
Meet Sybil! (Gambit vol. 2 #2)
“LITERALEEEEEEEEEEEEE” (Gambit vol. 2 #2)
Stoker and his little friends. (Gambit vol. 2 #2)
Surfin’ Pew S A. (Gambit vol. 2 #3)
Maybe next time try speed dating. (Gambit vol. 2 #3)
She’s fun at parties. (Gambit vol. 2 #3)
Anielle unleashed. (Gambit vol. 2 #4)
Aw, Katrina, no. (Gambit vol. 2 #4)
And they all lived happily ever after? (Gambit vol. 2 #4)
NEXT EPISODE: This fuckin’ thing.