Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Author: Jay

381 – If We Told You, We’d Have to Kill You

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which real life sucks; Havok may or may not be a bad enough dude to rescue mutantkind; X-Factor quits; CD-ROMs were never THAT cool; subtlety is for suckers; Val Cooper hates nothing more than she hates the U.S. government; and Jamie Madrox wants nothing to do with your nonsense.

X-PLAINED:

  • One way to end a wedding
  • X-Factor #130-133
  • Malice (again)
  • A thumb (and the biting thereof)
  • Barnes (and her hair)
  • The relative versatility of plasma
  • The Brotherhood
  • A ruse and/or retcon
  • Lighting design
  • A CD-ROM
  • The time Jay wrote some Captain America comics
  • The last time you’re gonna see these
  • Trevor Chase (more)
  • One thing that might’ve inspired Jamie Madrox’s heel turn
  • The nature of Jamie Madrox’s relative mortality
  • Brand names
  • Many faked deaths
  • Agent Bowser
  • A very fancy haunted house
  • X-Factor’s true calling
  • The X.S.E. (again)
  • Mutant shifts in adaptations
  • ‘Nuff said

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur vs. Crimson Dawn!

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380 – Arbor Day

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which no one wants to be compared to Chris Bachalo; it’s always a holiday for Generation X; you may already be a Guthrie; M is a fascinating mystery; and Black Tom Cassidy (finally) makes his move.

X-PLAINED:

  • What Black Tom Cassidy is up to these days
  • Generation X #23-25
  • Generation X (again)
  • Seasons
  • Visual representations of Banshee’s powers
  • Several holidays
  • The Blue Ridge Mountains
  • A slumber party
  • Emplate (somewhat)
  • Bad times with Black Tom Cassidy
  • The apparent death of Emma Frost
  • What we do and don’t cover when
  • Leech on Krakoa

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor Quits

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

 

As Mentioned in Episode 379 – Stardate: Today

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
FAO Schwarz, allegedly. (Uncanny X-Men #341)
Gladiator is not great at diplomacy. (Uncanny X-Men #341)
I AM SO WORRIED ABOUT THIS POOR MAN AND HIS HORSE (Uncanny X-Men #341)
New Outfits: Trish (Uncanny X-Men #342)
New Outfits: Bishop and Rogue (Uncanny X-Men #342)
New Outfits: Gambit, Joseph, and Beast (Uncanny X-Men #342)
Well, that’s a new look for the Phalanx. (Uncanny X-Men #343)
One for your reaction files. (Uncanny X-Men #343)
Word balloons on the cover are an underrated gimmick. (Uncanny X-Men #344)
Where babies come from! (Uncanny X-Men #344)
NEXT EPISODE: Generation X vs. Black Tom Cassidy!

379 – Stardate: Today

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which what happens in space stays in space; a horse is imperiled; Joseph does some dubious science; Gladiator’s name is absolutely not Gary; everybody gets new costumes; and we learn where babies come from.

X-PLAINED:

  • Shi’ar taxonomy, sort of
  • The Shi’ar (again)
  • The Phalanx (again)
  • Uncanny X-Men #341-344
  • A whole bunch of callbacks to X-Men #98
  • A carriage ride
  • The Z’noxx chamber (again)
  • One way to have safer sex
  • FAO Schwarz
  • The Shi’ar Imerial Guard (again)
  • Diplomacy, kind of
  • Space outfits
  • Trademarks
  • Pure Phalanx
  • Dinosaur Kingdom 2
  • Where Shi’ar babies come from
  • Flirting
  • The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl vs. Isca the Unbeaten
  • Characters we would happily voice if invited to do so

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: Generation X vs. Black Tom Cassidy!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

378 – The Unstoppable Huggernaut

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In which our favorite(?) fear lord returns; Sirocco Sprawl is an extremely unpleasant fictional town; the Juggernaut is not a subtle man; we really need to get our hands on the Generation X novels; Tarot gets a logo font; and Banshee is menaced by spectral leprechauns.

X-PLAINED

  • Several Juggernauts
  • Soap Operas
  • D’Spayre (again)
  • D’Spayre vs. Nightmare
  • Juggernaut #1
  • Generation X Annual 1997
  • Magical pants
  • Juggernaut (Cain Marko) and what he’s been up to lately
  • Incidental reptiles
  • Sirocco Sprawl, NM
  • Marvin T. Rocksalt
  • A spree of cartoonish destruction
  • Spite (again)
  • Black Tom Cassidy (again)
  • A really cool skeleton
  • Generation X novels
  • Several episodes we should probably do someday
  • A very poorly-drawn butt
  • The Hellions (more) (again)
  • One way to put out a fire
  • Garden Plots with Skeletor
  • Several nightmare scenarios
  • Alex Summers’s adoptive family
  • What would happen if Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau met Cameron Hodge

NEXT EPISODE: Space!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

377 – Sam Hill

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In which Domino’s miniseries earns a grade of “present”; Miles gets to know Sam Hill; Domino trades pouches for boots; and we would prefer that you not sexualize Lady Deathstrike.

X-PLAINED:

  • Halloween Jack
  • Domino (Neena Thurman)
  • Domino #1-3
  • Milo Thurman
  • The idiomatic Sam Hill
  • Lady Deathstrike (again)
  • The Reavers (again)
  • Pico
  • Boot pouches
  • Puck (Eugene Judd)
  • Dante’s Beatrice
  • Several Skullbusters
  • Robot tits
  • The E.T. Atari game
  • One way to get out of saying “I love you”
  • Our unpopular favorites

NEXT EPISODE: Giving in to D’Spayre!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

376 – Moore of This

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we begin John Francis Moore’s run on X-Force; Latveria is less fun without Doctor Doom; there may still be a tiny clone of Meltdown running around; Forearm is a good pal; Marvel Asgard is a realm of crossover fan fiction;  and you should totally watch both Our Flag Means Death and Doom Patrol.

X-PLAINED:

  • Blackbeard, somewhat
  • X-Force #63-64
  • X-Force & Cable Annual 1997
  • Life after Onslaught
  • Dimitri Fortunov
  • Dr. Doom’s time podium
  • New costumes
  • Liddleville
  • Latveria, 1941
  • Sturmfanger
  • Valkyrie (Brunhilde)
  • Aragorn (but not that one)
  • The Mutant Liberation Front (again) (briefly)
  • A large dog who may or may not have eaten a horse
  • Valkyries (more) (again)
  • What all the former New Mutants are up to
  • Yggdrasil and the Nine Realms (again)
  • Malekith the Accursed
  • Kindra the Dwarf (again)
  • Skadi the Frost Giant
  • Hela (again) (briefly)
  • Doctor Who analogs
  • What we miss about the Silver Age

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: Domino goes solo!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop! This month, TeePublic is matching our sales with a donation to Equality Florida!!!

375 – One Thousand Kicks to the Face

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In which there is definitely a wrong way to enjoy your comics; Storm could probably use a more secure storage system; the Externals need more camp; and Joseph makes some valid points.

X-PLAINED

  • What Storm’s up to
  • X-Men Unlimited #7 (again) (briefly)
  • X-Men #60-61
  • X-Men Unlimited #14
  • Karima
  • Jamil
  • Candra (again)
  • A surprising absence of Howard Mackie
  • Candra’s heart
  • Some excessively complex psychic powers
  • Phylacteries
  • The origin of Storm’s romance with T’Challa
  • Kicks to the face as a unit of pain
  • Undercloaks
  • The alternate universe where the McCoys live in Indiana
  • The moppet squad (again)
  • Dunfee, IN
  • Yet another angry mob
  • Multiverse-variable powers
  • Favorite X-relationships

Correction: The Brandalorian let us know that “Phylacteries (tefillin) are not Chasidic; they’re a ritual object mentioned by the Torah, used by Jews of all sorts.” Apologies for our error, and we appreciate the correction!

NEXT EPISODE: X-Force goes to Asgard!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop! This month, TeePublic is matching our sales with a donation to Equality Florida!!!

As Mentioned in Episode 374 – SMEK

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
It’s Carl Denti! Hi, Carl! (The Punisher #12)
Special Agynt Kymberly Jones. (The Punisher #12)
The X-Cutioner. (The Punisher #12)
Blast Furnace should really be off fighting Mega Man somewhere. (The Punisher #13)
The kiss to end all kisses! (The Punisher #16)
NEXT EPISODE: Franklin Richards vs. Joseph!

374 – SMEK

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Frank Punisher, wearing his skull uniform, frolics arm-in-arm with Carl the X-Cutiioner, dressed in a motley assembly of supervillain gear, through a field of flowers.
Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Frank Punisher is not a role model; Carl the X-Cutioner is not very good at secret identities; Miles tries his hand at poetry; and everything’s funny with a sidecar.

X-PLAINED:

  • Frankencastle
  • Frank Punisher and his cultural context
  • Punisher #12-16
  • Carl the X-Cutioner
  • S.H.I.E.L.D.
  • The New Mutant Liberation Front and several members thereof
  • William Connover (again)
  • Agynt Kymberly Taylor
  • Optimal sidecar use
  • Simon Trask
  • What it’s like to kiss Frank Punisher
  • Poor management technique
  • How we choose what to reveal when
  • The timeline where Magik is textually queer

NEXT EPISODE: The actual X-Men!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!