Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Author: Jay

As Mentioned in Episode 329 – Scheming and Argument

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Same cover, different week. (Excalibur #94)
Same cover, different week. (Excalibur #94)
Rahne "Aleph from Global Frequency" Sinclair. (Excalibur #94)
Rahne “Aleph from Global Frequency” Sinclair. (Excalibur #94)
Sorry. I just can't accept this as Tangerine. (Excalibur #94)
Sorry. I just can’t accept this as Tangerine. (Excalibur #94)
He could totally have rocked the swim cap, though. (Excalibur #94)
He could totally have rocked the swim cap, though. (Excalibur #94)
Ew, they're all goopy. (Excalibur #94)
Ew, they’re all goopy. (Excalibur #94)
Well, damn. (Excalibur #94)
Well, damn. (Excalibur #94)
We call that a "Muir Hello." (X-Man #12)
We call that a “Muir Hello.” (X-Man #12)
It also goes PING! (X-Man #12)
It also goes PING! (X-Man #12)
Okay: That is legitimately cool. (X-Man #12)
Okay: That is legitimately cool. (X-Man #12)
The actual tagline of Squeezits(TM) was "Squeeze the fun out of it." I swear to g-d I'm not making this up. (X-Man #12)
The actual tagline of Squeezits(TM) was “Squeeze the fun out of it.” I swear to g-d I’m not making this up. (X-Man #12)
Look at those mid '90s computer graphics! (Excalibur #95)
Look at those mid ’90s computer graphics! (Excalibur #95)
Moira doesn't give a fuck if she's not your real mom; she's grounding you anyway. (Excalibur #95)
Moira doesn’t give a fuck if she’s not your real mom; she’s grounding you anyway. (Excalibur #95)
Oh, Rory. Buddy. (Excalibur #95)
Oh, Rory. Buddy. (Excalibur #95)
This is also roughly how it feels to read like 20 years of X-Men in a sitting. (Excalibur #95)
This is also roughly how it feels to read like 20 years of X-Men in a sitting. (Excalibur #95)
What Excalibur's thinking about. (Excalibur #95)
What Excalibur’s thinking about. (Excalibur #95)
NEXT EPISODE: The herald of Onslaught; but also this fashion situation.
NEXT EPISODE: The herald of Onslaught; but also this fashion situation.

329 – Scheming and Argument

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Nate Grey has the soul of a man in a mesh shirt; Black Air is somehow even worse than you thought it was; Hulk does not want to be x-treme teen from alternate dimension; we are excited as hell for the upcoming Frasier/Ewing Gamma Flight; and Moira MacTaggert is (sometimes) the adult we need.

X-PLAINED:

  • Nate Grey’s (possible) demon zombie baby
  • What Excalibur’s been up to lately
  • Excalibur #94-95
  • X-Man #12
  • Yet another take on roughly the same dark future
  • Dark-future disambiguation
  • Bangs
  • The Black Wall
  • Leather vs. vinyl
  • Sentinels pooping sentinels
  • Nate Grey (more) (again)
  • Gamma Flight
  • Excessively silly diagnostic technology
  • Squeezits(TM)
  • A minor intervention
  • X-characters most likely to lead a successful book club
  • Warlock on Krakoa

NEXT EPISODE: The Herald of Onslaught (for real, this time, we promise)!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 328 – Single Blue Male

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
It's not baseball, but it'll do! (X-Men #48)
It’s not baseball, but it’ll do! (X-Men #48)
It's rough to be Bishop. (X-Men #48)
It’s rough to be Bishop. (X-Men #48)
The extra arms make it extra funny. (X-Men #48)
The extra arms make it extra funny. (X-Men #48)
*Rimshot* (X-Men #48)
*Rimshot* (X-Men #48)
Dark Beast X-Plains Bishop. (X-Men #48)
Dark Beast X-Plains Bishop. (X-Men #48)
Bishop, that's flirting. (X-Men #49)
Bishop, that’s flirting. (X-Men #49)
"Bishop with Kittens" should be a thing. (X-Men #49)
“Bishop with Kittens” should be a thing. (X-Men #49)
This one's for Douglas Wolk. (X-Men #49)
This one’s for Douglas Wolk. (X-Men #49)
Never trust anybody. (X-Men #49)
Never trust anybody. (X-Men #49)
Except by the time it happens, they look way more alike. (X-Men Unlimited #10)
Except by the time it happens, they look way more alike. (X-Men Unlimited #10)
Hank McCoy was an objectively kind of terrible child. (X-Men Unlimited #10)
Hank McCoy was an objectively kind of terrible child. (X-Men Unlimited #10)
This would be so fun to climb around! (X-Men Unlimited #10)
This would be so fun to climb around! (X-Men Unlimited #10)
Hank, buddy, no. (X-Men Unlimited #10)
Hank, buddy, no. (X-Men Unlimited #10)
Honestly, I'd prefer a toaster. (X-Men Unlimited #10)
Honestly, I’d prefer a toaster. (X-Men Unlimited #10)
What the HELL, dude? (X-Men Unlimited #10)
What the HELL, dude? (X-Men Unlimited #10)
Time to face the... nope. I'm not gonna do it. (X-Men Unlimited #10)
Time to face the… nope. I’m not gonna do it. (X-Men Unlimited #10)
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MCCOY! (X-Men Unlimited #10)
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MCCOY! (X-Men Unlimited #10)
NEXT EPISODE: X-Man vs. Excalibur!
NEXT EPISODE: X-Man vs. Excalibur!

328 – Single Blue Male

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Sam Guthrie will take all your money; Gambit has exceptionally poor judgment; having friends who are couples means getting to be the big spoon AND the little spoon; Hank McCoy is the agrarian Rube Goldberg; and there are a lot of ways to appreciate a comic.

X-PLAINED:

  • Several colors of Beast
  • X-Men #48-49
  • X-Men Unlimited #10
  • The Floating Super Hero Poker Game
  • Large hands
  • Various refugees from the Age of Apocalypse
  • Surge(TM)
  • Pam Greenwood (Fatale)
  • Many gratuitous murders
  • Iconic runs we’re not into
  • Generations of teen X-Men

NEXT WEEK: Hawk talk!

NEXT EPISODE: Nate Grey vs. Excalibur!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 326 – The Sounds of Gravity

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
"My son murdered me and all I got was this cool scar." (X-Force #49)
“My son murdered me and all I got was this cool scar.” (X-Force #49)
Alas, poor Stansfield. (X-Force #49)
Alas, poor Stansfield. (X-Force #49)
I think we've all been on that visit home. (X-Force #49)
I think we’ve all been on that visit home. (X-Force #49)
Aw, this guy. I've missed him. (X-Force #49)
Aw, this guy. I’ve missed him. (X-Force #49)
Look at all that cover! (X-Force #50)
Look at all that cover! (X-Force #50)
Go, team! (X-Force #50)
Go, team! (X-Force #50)
Correction: not actually a two-page spread. (X-Force #50)
Correction: not actually a two-page spread. (X-Force #50)
Sure, why not? (X-Force #50)
Sure, why not? (X-Force #50)
"Remember when we read all those comics?" (X-Force #50)
“Remember when we read all those comics?” (X-Force #50)
That is an unsettlingly good home haircut. (X-Force #51)
That is an unsettlingly good home haircut. (X-Force #51)
NO. (X-Force #51)
NO. (X-Force #51)
One for the reaction files. (X-Force #51)
One for the reaction files. (X-Force #51)
NEXT EPISODE: A tale of two Beasts!
NEXT EPISODE: A tale of two Beasts!

327 – The Sounds of Gravity

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which nobody’s ages ever make sense; Sebastian Shaw catches up on villain speeches; nobody puts Louise Simonson in a corner; Tabitha Smith has a bad day; Gambit and Bat Manuel have a lot in common; and Warpath outruns Adam X.

X-PLAINED:

  • X-Force #49-51
  • Haircuts
  • The return off Sebastian Shaw
  • Stansfield
  • A series of kidnappings
  • Solar-powered superpowers
  • Attempted murder
  • Memories
  • Cable as an audience surrogate
  • Tabitha’s new codename
  • The first Tick live-action series
  • Warpath’s running speed
  • Risqué
  • What gravity sounds like
  • X-leisure activities
  • Magneto’s human name/s

NEXT EPISODE: A Tale of Two Beasts

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 326 – Son of a Gun

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Fun times with holograms! (X-Factor #119)
Fun times with holograms! (X-Factor #119)
Oh, THAT guy. (X-Factor #119)
Oh, THAT guy. (X-Factor #119)
If I had a dollar for every date that ended this way... (X-Factor #119)
If I had a dollar for every date that ended this way… (X-Factor #119)
Sir, your gun appears to be several cardboard boxes. (X-Factor #120)
Sir, your gun appears to be several cardboard boxes. (X-Factor #120)
Well, that's going to be a problem. (X-Factor #120)
Well, that’s going to be a problem. (X-Factor #120)
Okay, but seriously, why is Roma in this, again>? (X-Factor #121)
Okay, but seriously, why is Roma in this, again>? (X-Factor #121)
OH SNAP (X-Factor #121)
OH SNAP (X-Factor #121)

326 – Son of a Gun

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which it’s hard to be a hologram; the Internet is terrible and you should probably avoid it; we have no idea how Naze is still alive; this is not your mom’s Adversary (if your mom is Fall of the Mutants); Forge is an order muppet; and Sabretooth is not a great addition to most teams.

X-PLAINED:

  • Skrulls in American history
  • X-Factor’s attrition rate
  • The spirit spell (again)
  • The Adversary (again)
  • X-Factor #119-121
  • Hypercolor(TM) t-shirts
  • Oblivion vs. masturbation
  • Mark Trail (more) (again)
  • Forge’s complicated relationship with magic
  • The death of X-Factor
  • Several retcons
  • The resurrection of X-Factor
  • (Mis)representation of indigenous cultures in X-books
  • Jim Jaspers vs. the Adversary
  • The spirit spell (YET AGAIN)
  • The Feron of X-Factor
  • Val ‘n’ Victor
  • Dubious use of technology
  • A red herring
  • The lingering spectre of Days of Future Past
  • Our tech issues
  • Reasonable accommodations at the Xavier School

NEXT EPISODE: Cable vs. X-Force

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 325 – Captain Bloodscream

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
I'm sorry; I cannot accept this as Cable. (X-Force/Cable Annual 1995)
I’m sorry; I cannot accept this as Cable. (X-Force/Cable Annual 1995)
The Impossible Teens. (X-Force/Cable Annual 1995)
The Impossible Teens. (X-Force/Cable Annual 1995)
Yay, Team-Ups! (Spider-Man Team-Up #1)
Yay, Team-Ups! (Spider-Man Team-Up #1)
Tessa, Shade Queen of the Hellfire Club. Spider-Man Team-Up #1
Tessa, Shade Queen of the Hellfire Club. Spider-Man Team-Up #1
SERIOUSLY, WHAT IS THE GOLD CROTCH THING (Spider-Man Team-Up #1)
SERIOUSLY, WHAT IS THE GOLD CROTCH THING (Spider-Man Team-Up #1)
Also Tessa. (Spider-Man Team-Up #1)
Also Tessa. (Spider-Man Team-Up #1)
NO, SERIOUSLY: 30-50 FERAL HOGS. (X-Men Unlimited #9)
NO, SERIOUSLY: 30-50 FERAL HOGS. (X-Men Unlimited #9)
FUCKING GHOST PIRATES Y'ALL (X-Men Unlimited #9)
FUCKING GHOST PIRATES Y’ALL (X-Men Unlimited #9)
YES AS A MATTER OF FACT I WILL BE CAPTIONING ALL THE IMAGES FROM THIS ISSUE IN ALL CAPS (X-Men Unlimited #9)
YES AS A MATTER OF FACT I WILL BE CAPTIONING ALL THE IMAGES FROM THIS ISSUE IN ALL CAPS (X-Men Unlimited #9)
LOOK AT THIS MAN. THIS IS A MAN LIVING HIS DREAM. (X-Men Unlimited #9)
LOOK AT THIS MAN. THIS IS A MAN LIVING HIS DREAM. (X-Men Unlimited #9)
SURE WHY NOT (X-Men Unlimited #9)
SURE WHY NOT (X-Men Unlimited #9)
SHARK FIGHT SHARK FIGHT (X-Men Unlimited #9)
SHARK FIGHT SHARK FIGHT (X-Men Unlimited #9)
THIS VISUAL IS LIKE ALL THE GOOFINESS OF THE EPISODE IN A NUTSHELL (X-Men Unlimited #9)
THIS VISUAL IS LIKE ALL THE GOOFINESS OF THE EPISODE IN A NUTSHELL (X-Men Unlimited #9)
KING OF THE CAT PEOPLE (X-Men Unlimited #9)
KING OF THE CAT PEOPLE (X-Men Unlimited #9)
FOOTNOTES FOR THE FOOTNOTE GODS (X-Men Unlimited #9)
FOOTNOTES FOR THE FOOTNOTE GODS (X-Men Unlimited #9)
FISH! FISH OF DECEIT! (X-Men Unlimited #9)
FISH! FISH OF DECEIT! (X-Men Unlimited #9)
OH HEY WE KNOW THAT GUY (X-Men Unlimited #9)
OH HEY WE KNOW THAT GUY (X-Men Unlimited #9)
THE NEXT TWO IMAGES WILL JUST BE KICKASS BLOODSCREAM YOU'RE WELCOME (X-Men Unlimited #9)
THE NEXT TWO IMAGES WILL JUST BE KICKASS BLOODSCREAM YOU’RE WELCOME (X-Men Unlimited #9)
I WISH HIM THE BEST (X-Men Unlimited #9)
I WISH HIM THE BEST (X-Men Unlimited #9)
NEXT EPISODE: The Adversary probably does not actually join X-Factor.
NEXT EPISODE: The Adversary probably does not actually join X-Factor.

. 

325 – Captain Bloodscream

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original?Drop him a line!

In which we recommend against having a birthday in the Marvel  Universe; Shinobi Shaw was a proto-Quentin Quire; Lee Forrester returns under the best possible circumstances; Bloodscream lives his best unlife; Belasco is apparently master of the cat people now; and a former Marvel intern returns to solve a mystery.

X-PLAINED:

  • Bloodscream (again)
  • X-Force/Cable Annual 1995
  • Spider-Man Team-Up #1
  • X-Men Unlimited #9
  • The Impossible Man (and his slacker kids)
  • The Clone Saga
  • Benedict Kine
  • A really superlative insult
  • The continuity box
  • Still more Bloodscream
  • 30-50 feral hogs
  • GHOST PIRACY
  • Belasco (more)(again)
  • The N’garai (more) (again)
  • A follow-up to a mystery from Episode #323

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor vs. the Adversary

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!