Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

HAWK TALK – What A Long, Strange Hawk It’s Been

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This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, Jay and Miles talked about Hawk Talk.

As Mentioned in Episode 354 – The Touch of Magneto

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Elektra is... complicated. (Wolverine #104)
Elektra is… complicated. (Wolverine #104)
Where babies come from. (Wolverine #104)
Where babies come from. (Wolverine #104)
This is actually how most Wolverine stories start. (Wolverine #105)
This is actually how most Wolverine stories start. (Wolverine #105)
AWWWWWW. (Wolverine #105)
AWWWWWW. (Wolverine #105)
Ewwwwww. (Wolverine #105)
Ewwwwww. (Wolverine #105)
Stick in a nutshell. (Wolverine #105)
Stick in a nutshell. (Wolverine #105)
Chris Bachalo, man. Chris Bachalo. (Generation X #19)
Chris Bachalo, man. Chris Bachalo. (Generation X #19)
They're not Artie and Leech; but they're kinda Artie and Leech. (Generation X #19)
They’re not Artie and Leech; but they’re kinda Artie and Leech. (Generation X #19)
SURE WHY NOT (Generation X #19)
SURE WHY NOT (Generation X #19)
Oh, buddy. You tried. (Generation X #19)
Oh, buddy. You tried. (Generation X #19)
You also tried. (Generation X #19)
You also tried. (Generation X #19)
NEXT WEEK: HAWK TALK!NEXT EPISODE: Tie-ins!
NEXT WEEK: HAWK TALK!
NEXT EPISODE: Tie-ins!

354 – The Touch of Magneto

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Onslaught is a party that goes on way too long; we are grateful that the Hand is mostly someone else’s problem; there’s always time to get hosed down by firemen; and Emma Frost should never, under any circumstances, cook.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Golden Archer
  • Wolverine #104-105
  • Generation X #18-19
  • Portions of Elektra’s deal
  • Stick
  • Wolverine’s nose
  • Gateway and Onslaught
  • Several flashbacks
  • The Onslaught goblin
  • Retcons and character accountability
  • A wet open
  • A somewhat atypical plane flight
  • Toad by way of Chris Bachalo
  • The mysterious DL
  • Emma’s Montreal mansion and its staff
  • Cooking with Emma Frost
  • Quasi-benevolent mind control
  • Surgeon
  • A bonus Shadowcat power
  • Digital invisibility

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught tie-ins!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 353 – Scientists and Superheroes

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Forge X-Plains. (X-Factor #126)
Forge X-Plains. (X-Factor #126)
Wait, if she's also visible as herself, why does it even MATTER which wings she uses? (X-Factor #126)
Wait, if she’s also visible as herself, why does it even MATTER which wings she uses? (X-Factor #126)
Don't steal the man's tagline. (X-Factor #126)
Don’t steal the man’s tagline. (X-Factor #126)
I really enjoy this cover. (Fantastic Four #416)
I really enjoy this cover. (Fantastic Four #416)
"NOBODY menaces the Richardses but me!" (Fantastic Four #416)
“NOBODY menaces the Richardses but me!” (Fantastic Four #416)
Aw his silly device. (Fantastic Four #416)
Aw his silly device. (Fantastic Four #416)
"You have my abs." (Fantastic Four #416)
“You have my abs.” (Fantastic Four #416)
THIS WEIRDO (Fantastic Four #416)
THIS WEIRDO (Fantastic Four #416)
"DOOM WOULD ALSO ENJOY A LATTE." (Fantastic Four #416)
“DOOM WOULD ALSO ENJOY A LATTE.” (Fantastic Four #416)
This page super reminds me of the credits of the movie Help! (X-Men Unlimited #12)
This page super reminds me of the credits of the movie Help! (X-Men Unlimited #12)
They were cooler when they were just a neon sign come to life. (X-Men Unlimited #12)
They were cooler when they were just a neon sign come to life. (X-Men Unlimited #12)
This probably happens to Strange a lot. (X-Men Unlimited #12)
This probably happens to Strange a lot. (X-Men Unlimited #12)
I'm sorry, Spite; I can't take you seriously without a Y and possibly a gratuitous apostrophe in your name. (X-Men Unlimited #12)
I’m sorry, Spite; I can’t take you seriously without a Y and possibly a gratuitous apostrophe in your name. (X-Men Unlimited #12)
A large boy. (X-Men Unlimited #12)
A large boy. (X-Men Unlimited #12)
...they fight crime! (X-Men Unlimited #12)
…they fight crime! (X-Men Unlimited #12)
NEXT EPISODE: some bullshit.
NEXT EPISODE: some bullshit.

LINKS & FURTHER SPINOFFS

  • I’m pretty sure we’ve linked to Robert Cop before, but just in case, here you go.

353 – Scientists and Superheroes

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Dark Beast is an unlikely father figure; Wild Child remains low-budget Wolverine; X-Factor foreshadows the XSE; no one else thwarts Richardses on Doom’s watch; the cow goes “hate”; and Juggernaut fails to grow as a person.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Red Ghost
  • Onslaught thus far
  • X-Factor #126
  • Fantastic Four #416
  • X-Men Unlimited #12
  • Random’s origins (kind of)
  • Pinochle
  • Kristoff Vernard
  • Several villains
  • Juggernaut’s adventures in the Gem of Cyttorak
  • Gomurr the Ancient (again)
  • Spite
  • Unreliable narrators
  • The evolution of Cyttorak
  • Wolverine’s hair
  • X-arcs we’d like to see as video games

NEXT EPISODE: To nobody’s surprise, Onslaught.

CORRECTION: Kristoff Vernard is not in fact a clone of Doctor Doom.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

HAWK TALK – Bugs

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This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, Jay and Miles talked about bugs (and Tea Fougner taught us about bees)!

As mentioned in the episode: bee cute furry face

As Mentioned in Episode 352 – Onslog

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Still not really seeing the "ebon" part of "ebon citadel," but whatever. (The Incredible Hulk #445)
Still not really seeing the “ebon” part of “ebon citadel,” but whatever. (The Incredible Hulk #445)
I always appreciate details like this. (The Incredible Hulk #445)
I always appreciate details like this. (The Incredible Hulk #445)
Ouch. (The Incredible Hulk #445)
Ouch. (The Incredible Hulk #445)
It's like that thing where you don't hear your cat coming in and then it's RIGHT THERE STARING AT YOU. (Invincible Iron Man #332)
It’s like that thing where you don’t hear your cat coming in and then it’s RIGHT THERE STARING AT YOU. (Invincible Iron Man #332)
Those are... certainly some sound effects. (Invincible Iron Man #332)
Those are… certainly some sound effects. (Invincible Iron Man #332)
It's not a whole fancy suit, but I guess it'll do. (Invincible Iron Man #332)
It’s not a whole fancy suit, but I guess it’ll do. (Invincible Iron Man #332)
Hats all around! (Invincible Iron Man #332)
Hats all around! (Invincible Iron Man #332)
Look at them, all action-y. (Avengers #402)
Look at them, all action-y. (Avengers #402)
Sucks to be the dude who has to both accurately assess the situation AND keep everyone's spirits up! (Avengers #402)
Sucks to be the dude who has to both accurately assess the situation AND keep everyone’s spirits up! (Avengers #402)
SO THERE. (Avengers #402)
SO THERE. (Avengers #402)
SO MUCH HEROISM IN ONE PAGE (Avengers #402)
SO MUCH HEROISM IN ONE PAGE (Avengers #402)
NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk NEXT EPISODE: Additional Onslaught!
NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk
NEXT EPISODE: Additional Onslaught!

LINKS & FURTHER CHOREOGRAPHY

352 – Onslog

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Onslaught: Phase 2 does not live up to the promise of Phase 1; Hulk is not the most trustworthy individual; Miles is his own best audience; Sentinels know their continuity; and true heroism is scored by James Horner.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Phoenix Five
  • Onslaught thus far
  • The Incredible Hulk #445
  • Invincible Iron Man #332
  • Avengers #402
  • Pea Soup Hulk
  • Falcon’s late cousin Jim
  • The word “ebon”
  • Tunneling logistics
  • An uncomfortable lesson
  • Immortal Hulk and why you should be reading it
  • Fancy hats
  • Science Made Stupid
  • Teen Tony Stark (more) (again)
  • Sneaking
  • Onslaught’s best epithet
  • The sound of heroism
  • Thor’s “shirt”
  • Headgear

NEXT EPISODE: Additional Onslaught!

Check out the visual companion to this episode over on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 351 – His Mighty Hand

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Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
At least his astral form also works out. (Uncanny X-Men #336)
At least his astral form also works out. (Uncanny X-Men #336)
The size difference is endlessly amusing. (Uncanny X-Men #336)
The size difference is endlessly amusing. (Uncanny X-Men #336)
You done good, Gambit. (Uncanny X-Men #336)
You done good, Gambit. (Uncanny X-Men #336)
For those of you who collect reaction images. (Uncanny X-Men #336)
For those of you who collect reaction images. (Uncanny X-Men #336)
Seriously--PERFECT CYLINDER. (Uncanny X-Men #336)
Seriously–PERFECT CYLINDER. (Uncanny X-Men #336)
It always seems weird to me that when Cable's arm is like that it doesn't seem to cause any mobility or balance issues. (Cable #35)
It always seems weird to me that when Cable’s arm is like that it doesn’t seem to cause any mobility or balance issues. (Cable #35)
They'll team up, but, damnit, they won't enjoy it. (Cable #35)
They’ll team up, but, damnit, they won’t enjoy it. (Cable #35)
Meanwhile at your neighborhood roller rink... (Cable #35)
Meanwhile at your neighborhood roller rink… (Cable #35)
He's like a tiny pet Franklin getting walked around Manhattan! (Cable #35)
He’s like a tiny pet Franklin getting walked around Manhattan! (Cable #35)
SO THERE, ONSLAUGHT. (Cable #35)
SO THERE, ONSLAUGHT. (Cable #35)
That throne is so creepy and gross and awesome. (X-Man #19)
That throne is so creepy and gross and awesome. (X-Man #19)
Remember the Age of Apocalypse? Nate does! (X-Man #19)
Remember the Age of Apocalypse? Nate does! (X-Man #19)
Aw, kiddo. (X-Factor #58)
Aw, kiddo. (X-Factor #58)
They're all very neatly arranged, at least. (X-Factor #58)
They’re all very neatly arranged, at least. (X-Factor #58)
Tabitha really needs some healthier coping mechanisms. (X-Factor #58)
Tabitha really needs some healthier coping mechanisms. (X-Factor #58)
AW, KIDDO. (X-Factor #58)
AW, KIDDO. (X-Factor #58)
Please google "highland cattle" immediately and join me in giggling. (X-Factor #58)
Please google “highland cattle” immediately and join me in giggling. (X-Factor #58)
Smelling the vegetation... and possibly hiding a pot of gold. (X-Factor #58)
Smelling the vegetation… and possibly hiding a pot of gold. (X-Factor #58)
Domino's fantasies do not allow for teenage intrusion, TYVM. (X-Factor #58)
Domino’s fantasies do not allow for teenage intrusion, TYVM. (X-Factor #58)
NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught, still, obviously.
NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught, still, obviously.

351 – His Mighty Hand

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we enter Phase 2 of Onslaught; Cable is a man of many purposes; Onslaught gets a makeover; Intentions only matter if you’re Longshot; and Sue Richards will pull over this crossover event right now if you don’t behave.

X-PLAINED:

  • Red Onslaught
  • Onslaught Phase 1
  • Uncanny X-Men #336
  • Cable #35
  • X-Man #19
  • X-Force #58
  • A large number of team-ups
  • Onslaught, but make it a seder
  • Watcher undercarriage
  • Onslaught’s second form
  • Cable and Apocalypse vs. Onslaught
  • Nate Grey vs. Sinister
  • A trap
  • Several flashbacks and fantasies
  • Symbolic roles within X-Force
  • What Banshee’s sonic scream sounds like
  • Pecs as envisioned by Franklin Richards

NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught, of course.

Check out the visual companion to this post on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!