263 – The Oldest Teens of Them All

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Cable and Domino may or may not be very old teenagers; disguises are not Dani Moonstar’s strong suit; Empath remains awful; Shatterstar probably talks exactly like a telenovela; X-Force needs an office manager; Mothra is larger than most things; and if you get to choose between being an External or a Guthrie, always be a Guthrie.

X-PLAINED:

  • Bastion, to some extent
  • X-Force #34-37
  • Optical disambiguation
  • Moonstar
  • Face tentacle semantics
  • Sandwiches (again)
  • The Richter family
  • An entirely avoidable fight
  • Some time-travel bullshit
  • Hannigan Electronics
  • An insecurity system
  • Nimrods
  • Things neural networks would probably do instead of murdering you
  • Defining traits of the Externals
  • Adoption, X-Factor style
  • Wolverine: The Long Night

NEXT EPISODE: Douglock!


The visual companion to this episode will be up later this week. Thanks for your patience!

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As Mentioned in Episode 262 – Science Fiction Double Feature

Listen to the episode here.



The Designing X-Women art isn’t online yet, but when it is, we’ll drop a link here!

262 – Science Fiction Double Feature

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the Phalanx would make pretty fun novelty candy; “B-Plot” implies that we only have 26; nobody will take Jubilee to the movies; Repo Man and Repo: The Genetic Opera are in fact two entirely different films; Storm is a fashion icon; Sabretooth is the monster in the basement; it’s really rough to be the kid on the X-Men; Yuko gives Gambit a shovel talk; and a number of familiar faces return to the page.

X-PLAINED:

  • One of the many problems with Sentinels
  • Uncanny X-Men #311-313
  • Whether the Phalanx is squishy
  • Robo-Candy
  • Plotline disambiguation
  • A cult classic
  • Carl the X-Cutioner (again)
  • Creative use of Bishop’s powers
  • Storm fashion
  • Technical difficulties
  • A decision Iceman will come to regret
  • Bishop vs. Sabretooth
  • What If Vol. 2 #87
  • Variations on Iceman’s appearance
  • Early seeds of Generation X
  • A night out with Yukio
  • A heavily euphemized relationship
  • Xavier’s mutant underground
  • The Phalanx
  • A shovel talk
  • The return of Steven Lang (and some other people)
  • How Cyclops cries
  • Cassandra Nova’s signature look

NEXT EPISODE: Additional and Varyingly Literal Blasts from the Past


NOTE: Per our expert source Doctor Internet, what Miles knows as “water weenies” are mostly sold as “water wigglers” or “water snakes.”


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As Mentioned in Episode 261 – Out of the Subtext

Listen to the podcast here.


Some real-life couples have waited more than 37 years to safely kiss in public.

Some never got the chance.

Some are still waiting.

Representation matters.

History of the Marvel Universe #3, published 37 years after Mystique and Destiny’s first on-panel appearance together.

261 – Out of the Subtext, Live from FlameCon with Vita Ayala!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we return to our favorite convention; writer Vita Ayala remains an absolute legend; everything was always already queer; and nobody should ever have to wait 37 years for a kiss.

NEXT EPISODE: Rise of the Phalanx!


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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 260 – Professor Power’s Prodigal Podcast

Listen to the episode here!



260 – Professor Power’s Prodigal Podcast

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we explore the aftermath of Multiple Man’s death; X-Factor has a lot of feelings; it probably sucks to grieve with Charles Xavier; neither power nor responsibility is particularly fun; we finally find out who was trying to kill Polaris; Professor Power makes it to the big leagues; and the ‘90s were one long leg day.

X-PLAINED:

  • Vectors of Malice transmission
  • X-Factor #101-102
  • X-Factor Annual #9
  • The aftermath of Jamie Madrox’s death
  • Several ways to grieve
  • Captain Capitalism and Plucky the Girl Wonder
  • A foiled robbery
  • Several guest stars
  • Multiple Man’s Muir Island years
  • Several assassination attempts
  • Some shady government shenanigans
  • Beatrice Conners (sort of)
  • A surprisingly muscular astral projection
  • Haven’s deeply dubious origin story
  • Professor Power
  • A surprisingly muscular android
  • One way to clean a room
  • Creative uses of mutant powers
  • Top-ten lists

NEXT EPISODE: Live at FlameCon with Vita Ayala!


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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 259 – Kwannon Leap

Listen to the podcast here.



LINKS & FURTHER HAWK TALK:

We discussed the first version of Psylocke’s transformation in Episode 137 – Kicky Kinko Killers; and the second, which introduced Kwannon, in Episode 222 – A Tale of Two Betsys.

Night on Earth is a brilliant movie, and also the main source of our Roberto Begnini hipster cred.

If you like your dives deep and granular, we highly recommend Chris and Robert’s dialogic annotations, HoX PoX ToX.

259 – Kwannon Leap

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which fix-it fic goes canon (or vice versa); Psylocke is a complicated individual and/or individuals; assassins have complicated personal lives; it is probably ethical to tell your teammates about your camera eyes; Beast takes over Blue Team;  we get our first tease of Generation X; Sabretooth is a surprisingly fun narrator; that Hickman fellow seems to know what he’s doing; and you should totally come see us at FlameCon!

X-PLAINED:

  • X-Men #31-33
  • What Forge does in his downtime
  • Several retcons, including a metaretcon
  • Psylocke (Betsy Braddock)
  • Revanche (Kwannon)
  • What we are not wearing
  • Hawks
  • Digital Chameleon
  • Assassin romance
  • What actually (probably) (mostly) happened to Betsy and Kwannon
  • The Eye Fairy
  • The death of Kwannon
  • The future of the Xavier School
  • The last will and testament of Emma Grace Frost
  • Rogue and Gambit’s breakfast-cereal habits
  • All the eyes you’ve been given
  • Nyorin’s “diary”
  • A murder cliché
  • Genevieve Darceneaux
  • BabyGoth Gambit
  • Henri LeBeau and his majestic mustache
  • Our (very early) thoughts on HoX/PoX

NEXT EPISODE: Havok once again fails to complete his dissertation.


Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

COME SEE US AT FLAMECON!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 258 – True Believers, Opportunists, and Crooks (feat. Lisa Winters)

Listen to the podcast here!