Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 490 – Chekhov’s Angel Dust

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Our Father, who art in heaven, how the heck do all these doves keep getting into our church? (X-Men #100)
Meet the Neo. (X-Men #100)
An unlikely but stylish spacesuit. (X-Men #100)
Um. Well. (X-Men #100)
Rax in his inexplicable child form. (X-Men #100)
Phoenix callback! (X-Men #101)
I love how pissed off Charlotte is about this. (X-Men #101)
You know those paintings of the martyrdom of St. Sebastian that are basically a super thinly-veiled excuse to paint a nearly-nude hottie? This panel reminds me of those. (X-Men #101)
In Warren’s fantasies, Candy Southern is both alive and blonde. (X-Men #101)
Seriously. Trigun villain. (X-Men #102)
Love that goofy li’l sound effect. (X-Men #102)
NEXT EPISODE: Live from Washington, D.C.!

490 – Chekhov’s Angel Dust

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In which Chris Claremont tries to make the Neo happen; Cecilia Reyes continues to have no time for this bullshit; Rogue gets some action; Shadowcat flees the comic; and Tessa returns.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Evolutionaries
  • X-Men #100-102
  • The current X-Men rosters
  • Thunderbird (Neal Shaara)
  • Claremont vs. continuity
  • Dove crimes
  • The Neo
    • Domina
    • Jaeger
    • Rax
  • Fancy space suits
  • What to do with someone else’s bone claws
  • Some guy named Seth
  • The High Evolutionary’s love nest
  • A Phoenix-saga callback
  • Rave
  • Warren Kenneth Worthington III’s weird fantasies
  • Whether unstable molecules are self-cleaning
  • Seventeen deaths of Mister Sinister
  • Salvo the Living Gun
  • How to keep track of X-Men
  • Time travel problems
  • X-Men LEGO sets we’d like to see

NEXT EPISODE: Live from Washington, D.C.!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 489 – The Eyepatch of Love

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I can suspend disbelief about a lot of things, but I just don’t buy Sexually Irresistible Pete Wisdom, eyepatch or no. (X-Force #102)
Alastair Stuart has not aged well. (X-Force #102)
Please enjoy these meatspore stormtroopers. (X-Force #102)
It’s not just me, right? This cover is sketchy. (X-Force #103)
Sam’s face in this panel is gonna haunt my nightmares. (X-Force #103)
It’s Dr. Niles Roman! (X-Force #103)
Wellp. (X-Force #104)
Definite Slimer vibes. (X-Force #104)
And that’s the end* of Pete Wisdom.

*nope

(X-Force #104)

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men!

489 – The Eyepatch of Love

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In which Pete Wisdom does his best Charles Xavier; Alastair Stuart has not aged well; San Francisco has monster problems; and there’s probably an alternate universe where Dr. Niles Roman fronts a metal band for toddlers.

X-PLAINED:

  • The value of Pete Wisdom
  • X-Force #102-105
  • Revolution (more) (again)
  • Counter X (more) (again)
  • Flight
  • Elf stuff
  • Alastair Stuart (again)
  • The eyepatch of love
  • Science City 53
  • Meatspore stormtroopers
  • Project Cuckoo
  • Dr. Niles Roman
  • Tactics vs. Strategy
  • Monster problems
  • The Violence Machine
  • The apparent death of Pete Wisdom
  • What a good X-Force HQ needs
  • The most X-treme possible lineup

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!

XplaintheXmen Live in Washington DC!

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Join us for an X-beginner-friendly, mutant-metaphor-focused, live episode of Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men: presented by LC-GLOBE, the LGBTQ+ organization of employees of the Library of Congress!

When: 6:00 PM on Friday 06/06/25

Where: The Mumford Room (LM-649) in the James Madison Building of the Library of Congress in Washington, DC
If you’d like to join the staff in attending, you’d be very welcome – to reserve seats, please email us so we can get a headcount and make sure you’re on the list. Hope to see you there!

As Mentioned in Episode 488 – There Goes the Moon (Mutant X May, Part 3)

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Color-coded Horsemen of Apocalypse! (Mutant X #19)
What’s the magic word? (Mutant X #19)
Someone let that flying aerobics instructor in! The rain is going to wreck her hair! (Mutant X #20)
That A on his belt stands for Ally! (Mutant X #20)
Note that Charles Xavier’s Evil Mullet is never seen outside of these two panels. (Mutant X #21)
Not a bad riff on the Phoenix costume, honestly. (Mutant X #21)
And then Professor X turned into Doctor Fate. (Mutant X #22)
“That’s right, my friends! We must strike Galactus with every color of the traffic light!” (Mutant X #22)
You ever have a dream where someone is mean to you and then you’re still mad at them when you see them in real life? (Mutant X #23)
Behold! Bargain-basement X-Man, with bonus moppets! (Mutant X #23)
Just a hell of a cover. (Mutant X #24)
Why would you put a portal to the Negative Zone in the goddamn FLOOR?! At least put up a guard rail or something! I’m calling OSHA! (Mutant X #24)
Spoiler: they all just go to a bar. (Mutant X #25)
Flowers for Beast-gernon. (Yes, yes, we know Algernon is the mouse.) (Mutant X #25)
ah jeez (Mutant X #25)
It’s cool, Bloodstorm. We’ve all been there. (Mutant X #26)
The Marauders! (Mutant X #26)
Meet Dagger. And also sorta Cloak. (Mutant X #27)
Awwwwww (Mutant X #27)
Okay, that kid is way too chill. (Mutant X #28)
That’s way better than Evil Xavier’s mullet! (Mutant X #29)
Why, it’s the brand new Sabre-Roaster 3000, as seen on TV! (Mutant X #29)
Plus Iron Giant Man, but he’s too big for this panel! (Mutant X #30)
(This caption intentionally left blank) (Mutant X #31)
After this, they blow up the moon! (Mutant X #31)
The Beyonder x-plains Mutant X! And also eats Captain America. (Mutant X Annual 2001)
It’s really hard to pick a favorite! (Mutant X Annual 2001)
Benjamin E. Yonder, you put the population of New York City down right now! (Mutant X Annual 2001)
Well, I would have said “WHAT?!” (Mutant X #32)
Dracula dies not with a bang, but with a PFFFT. (Mutant X #32)
*sniffle* (Mutant X #32)
Goodbye, Earth-1298. It’s been a hell of a ride. (Mutant X #32)
NEXT TIME: Black ops in black leather!

488 – There Goes the Moon (Mutant X May, Part 3)

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In which we reap the consequences of our choices; possession is 18/10 of the law; Sinister dresses for the occasion; Hank gets his groove back; Havok of Earth-1298 is a jerk; Hank loses his groove; Captain America blows up the moon; the Beyonder experiences a stirring; Dracula makes a deal; and Mutant X May comes to an end.

X-PLAINED:

  • The aftermath of Mutant X
  • Mutant X #19-32
  • Mutant X Annual 2001
  • The story so far
  • Character color coding
  • Some telepathic misdirection
  • Apocalypse of Earth-1298
  • Charles Xavier of Earth-1298
  • Professor X’s Juggernaut-fightin’ mullet
  • A whole lot of possession
  • Fake Galactus
  • Several fears
  • X-Man of Earth-1298
  • Child batteries
  • The worst place for a portal to the Negative Zone
  • How Hank McCoy became the Brute
  • Vampire problems
  • The Marauders of Earth-1298
  • The Outcasts of Earth-1298
  • Cloak & Dagger of Earth-1298
  • James Hudson of Earth-1298
  • The Avengers of Earth-1298
  • The Beyonder of Earth-1298 who is also kind of the Goblin Force
  • Several additional superheroes
  • A last stand
  • The appeal of alternate timelines
  • Earth-1298’s best glow-ups

NEXT EPISODE: Attack of the Meatspore Stormtroopers!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 487 – The Only Well-Adjusted Cyclops in the Multiverse (Mutant X May, Part 2)

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…the 2025 story. (Mutant X #9)
The Morlocks! (Mutant X #9)
A damned fine Magneto indeed. (Mutant X #9)
Polaris from X-Factor meets Terra from Final Fantasy VI. (Mutant X #10)
Nightcrawler-1298 can buckle our swashes anytime. (Mutant X #10)
The rest of the X-Men! (Mutant X #10)
The weather is wild today. (Mutant X #11)
I think this might be a big deal, you guys. (Mutant X #12)
Drama! (Mutant X #12)
The Goblin Queen falls. (Mutant X #12)
The secondary theme of Mutant X is the relationship between Ororo Munroe and rodents. (Mutant X #13)
Someone missed the memo about Diaphanous Romper Fridays. (Mutant X #13)
Ninja versus vampire: a tale as old as time. (Mutant X #13)
The most well-adjusted Cyclops in the Multiverse (and friends)! (Mutant X #14)
Bros! (Mutant X #14)
Meet Katherine Pryde, Black Queen of the Hellfire Club; Sebastian Shaw in an iron lung; palette-swapped Captain America; and Sunfire! (Mutant X #15)
De T’ieves Guild. (Mutant X #16)
A thief and a t’ief. (Mutant X Annual 2000)
“Dear Diary, only you understand me.” (Mutant X Annual 2000)
The origin of Gampire/Vambit. (Mutant X Annual 2000)
That first panel is just adorable. (Mutant X Annual 2000)
What a great guy, that Cap! Hope he doesn’t blow up the moon or anything later. (Mutant X #17)
And again: bros! (Mutant X #17)
Seems fine. (Mutant X #18)
Hey, that’s our podcast’s schtick! No swiping! (Mutant X #18)
NEXT TIME: The end of Mutant X May!

487 – The Only Well-Adjusted Cyclops in the Multiverse (Mutant X May, Part 2)

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In which Mutant X May continues; the X-Men return from space; it’s okay not to fill in every detail of a world; Havok leans into parenthood; we meet the only well-adjusted Cyclops in the multiverse; in any universe, Forge has terrible judgment; and the Six get some new members.

X-PLAINED:

  • Several notable upcoming events in Mutant X
  • What’s happened so far
  • Mutant X #9-18
  • Mutant X Annual 2000
  • The Morlocks of Earth-1298
  • The Mole Man of Earth-1298
  • The Yancy Street Underground
  • Magneto of Earth-1298
  • Superhero costume color theory
  • Polaris of Earth-1298
  • The X-Men of Earth-1298
    • Magneto
    • Polaris
    • Nightcrawler
    • Rogue
    • Mystique
    • Quicksilver
  • The Goblin Entity
  • Doctor Doom of Earth-1298
  • Namor of Earth-1298
  • The origin of Bloodstorm
  • Dracula’s fellas
  • The Starjammers of Earth-1298
    • Cyclops
    • Binary
    • Nova
    • Lockheed
    • Silver Surfer
  • Space alien problems
  • A fairly literal deus ex machina
  • Captain America of Earth-1298
  • A terrible idea
  • The United Guild of Thieves and Assassins
  • Gambit of Earth-1298
  • Raven LeBeau
  • The origin of Vampire Gambit
  • Mister Sinister of Earth-1298
  • Jean Grey of Earth-1298
  • Where Scott Summers of Earth-1298 ranks on the Cyclops Has a Good Day scale
  • Where to put X-logos on a costume

NEXT EPISODE: Mutant X May concludes!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!

 

As Mentioned in Episode 486 – Welcome to Earth-1298 (Mutant X May, Part 1)

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Welcome to Earth-1298! Hope you survive the–wait, did you survive the experience? I’m not sure the cliche applies if you’re already dead. (Mutant X #1)
Bannerman Castle, headquarters of The Six. (Mutant X #1)
Madelyne goes Goblin Queen. (Mutant X #1)
This issue sets Scotty up to be Creepily Prescient, which he’s really not. (Mutant X #1)
Meet the Six. (Mutant X #2)
Fun times with the Fantastic Four. (Mutant X #2)
Well, THAT can’t be good. (Mutant X #2)
And then: NUDE CANADIANS! (Mutant X #3)
Gothic horror heroine Maddy. (Mutant X #4)
The Fallen is fucking terrible. (Mutant X #5)
Creatures of the night! (Mutant X #7)
Cerebro! (Mutant X #8)
Stingray and Yellowjacket. (Mutant X Annual 1999)
Dr. Strange, Man-Thing. (Mutant X Annual 1999)