Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Author: Miles

As Mentioned in Episode 376 – Moore of This

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
You’ve come a long way from tick-tick-boom, Tabitha. (X-Force #63)
Dammit, X-Force! You were already living in the same house as the X-Men, and now you have their color scheme too? (X-Force #63)
When continuity is character. (X-Force #63)
Oh, great, it’s that dream again. (X-Force #63)
Yep, Lila Cheney is just that good. (X-Force #63)
“Alright, Agents! Just like we practiced: POSE!” (X-Force #63)
Ah, come on, Bobby – you’ve been to space and multiple other dimensions. Get over yourself. (X-Force #64)
Meanwhile in Spookytown (X-Force #64)
GAVEEDRA BENJAMIN SEVEN YOU PUT THOSE SWORDS DOWN RIGHT NOW OR I SWEAR (X-Force #64)
But… but ambush is the exact thing you just did! (X-Force #64)
We immediately love John Francis Moore’s Meltdown. (X-Force #64)
We’ve missed you, Julio. (X-Force #64)
Michael McCain, AKA Forearm, AKA a guy in a shirt best described as “normal”. (Cable & X-Force Annual 1997)
You put that down! Bad dog! Drop it! DROP IT! (Cable & X-Force Annual 1997)
Meltdown auditions for Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men. (Cable & X-Force Annual 1997)
Like the Rainbow Bridge but somehow more cosmic! Or at least differently cosmic. (Cable & X-Force Annual 1997)
Presenting Malekith the Accursed. (Cable & X-Force Annual 1997)
Is Caliban huge or is Shatterstar tiny? The world will never know! (Cable & X-Force Annual 1997)
Our high school English teacher always told us we needed to learn the rules of writing so we could more effectively break them. This page does that with its panel borders. (Cable & X-Force Annual 1997)
Mutants and dwarves and giants, oh my! (Cable & X-Force Annual 1997)
Hela: goddess of death and high fashion. (Cable & X-Force Annual 1997)
NEXT TIME: Do not mess with Domino.

LINKS AND FURTHER READING

As Mentioned in Episode 375 – One Thousand Kicks to the Face

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So many textures! (X-Men #60)
Ororo, you’re a good enough thief that you could probably afford clothes without holes in them… or is that a style thing? (X-Men #60)
I mean, this is definitely implying that Storm ran around the bronze age with Candra’s Heart as a fashion accessory, right? (X-Men #60)
“Dammit Ororo, did you learn nothing from my brother?!” (X-Men #60)
Candra as shibari lobster once more, now with ear-mandibles! (X-Men #60)
Remember that one Punisher movie where Frank set a bunch of cars on fire in the shape of a big skull? That was kinda cool. (X-Men #60)
Tiny mustache or shadow – you be the judge! (X-Men #60)
I know the Shadow King is supposed to be dead at this point, but that has to be him! Look at the speech bubble borders! (X-Men #60)
Suddenly, ninjas. (X-Men #61)
Ooh, nice visual flow. (X-Men #61)
“As opposed to that time I had kidney stones, which was only about three hundred kicks to the face!” (X-Men #61)
Logan is tasting the air like a snake! (X-Men #61)
Storm gets Candra’s hopes up… (X-Men #61)
…before Cyclops ZARKs them upon the rocks. That’s cold, guys. (X-Men #61)
Is it, though? (X-Men Unlimited #14)
Matching nightshirts! (X-Men Unlimited #14)
Whoa. Nicely done, Jim Cheung. (X-Men Unlimited #14)
Idyllic! (X-Men Unlimited #14)
Never change, Artie. (X-Men Unlimited #14)
Ever see Children of the Corn, Joe? (X-Men Unlimited #14)
I wish everyone had a dad this supportive. (X-Men Unlimited #14)
No moppet should moppet alone! (X-Men Unlimited #14)
NEXT TIME: Back to Asgard!

 

As Mentioned in Episode 373 – Tainted Loins

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Looks like your dad’s pain is a little worse than yours, Bobby. (Uncanny X-Men #340)
Now that is 1996 Sam Guthrie. Finally. (Uncanny X-Men #340)
Graydon Creed according to Joe Madureira… and Victor Creed as a glass of whiskey. (Uncanny X-Men #340)
If the command van’s a-knockin’… (Uncanny X-Men #340)
Joe Madureira’s mostly known for his action scenes, but he’s pretty great with quiet conversations too. (Uncanny X-Men #340)
Your government dresses you funny, Madrox. (X-Factor #128)
That’s so Raven. (X-Factor #128)
Graydon Creed according to Jeff Matsuda… and Harper, who is well aware of the need for discretion. (X-Factor #128)
Mystique transforms, version 1. (X-Factor #128)
Sabretooth and less-interesting-Sabretooth. (X-Factor #128)
Val Cooper just got back from the most dangerous sleepover ever. (X-Factor #129)
I love it when powers cross panel borders. (X-Factor #129)
Mystique transforms, version 2. (X-Factor #129)
Having grown up in the 90s, I can assure you this is quite an accomplishment. (X-Factor #129)
Well I’m impressed. (X-Factor #129)
Ah, that explains it. (X-Factor #129)
Scrawling SOON across your son’s campaign poster is the first step in saving his life. (X-Factor #129)
Blowing a hole in your son’s campaign poster is the second step in saving his life. (X-Factor #130)
Blowing additional holes in your son’s campaign poster is the third step in saving his life. (X-Factor #130)
Mystique transforms, version 3. (X-Factor #130)
Graydon Creed according to Eric Battle… and Val Cooper has changed out of her sleepwear. (X-Factor #130)
I’m just writing a visual companion, and I kinda want to yell “GUARDS”. (X-Factor #130)
This should’ve been two-thirds of the issue instead of two pages. (X-Factor #130)
Snazzy! (X-Factor #130)
Raven, just interrupt! You’re allowed! (X-Factor #130)
And with that..! (X-Factor #130)
NEXT EPISODE: Hawk Talk! IN TWO WEEKS: Frank Punisher meets Carl the X-Cutioner.

FURTHER READING

  • Miles talked about how to follow Krakoa’s year two X-books into year three:
    • Bridge miniseries:
      • Planet-Size X-Men 1-shot
      • Inferno
      • X Lives of Wolverine
      • X Deaths of Wolverine
    • Year two books that don’t continue into year three:
      • Cable (got a wrap-up 1-shot called Cable Reloaded)
      • Children of the Atom
      • Hellions
      • X-Corp
      • X-Factor
    • Books that have kept their year two numbering:
      • New Mutants
      • Wolverine
      • X-Force
      • X-Men Unlimited (on Marvel Unlimited)
    • Books that relaunched with a new #1 and new creators:
      • Marauders
      • X-Men
    • Books that relaunched with a new title:
      • Excalibur -> Knights of X
      • SWORD -> X-Men: Red
      • Way of X -> X-Men: the Onslaught Revelation -> Legion of X
    • One book is brand new:
      • Immortal X-Men
    • Also, don’t miss the Secret X-Men 1-shot toward the end of year two!

373 – Tainted Loins

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the Drake Roberts identity is retired; Gambit bonds with William Drake; Graydon Creed is evil but nondescript; tales of Pyro’s death have been somewhat exaggerated; and some mysteries resolve better than others.

X-PLAINED:

  • Damian Tryp
  • X-Factor (more) (again)
  • Uncanny X-Men #340
  • X-Factor #128-30
  • More Drake family dynamics
  • The Sword of Shannara
  • The general vagueness of Graydon Creed
  • Several ninjas
  • Hound stuff
  • Val Cooper’s pajamas
  • An unexpected return
  • Shapeshifting
  • Overextended plotlines
  • Some unusually threatening dad jokes
  • The anticlimactic death of Graydon Creed
  • Some time travel bullshit
  • Which series are ending and which are relaunching between Reign of X and Destiny of X
  • How and when Colossus stopped being the Juggernaut

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: The Adventures of Carl & Frank

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 372 – Monty Python’s Life of Magnus

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Steven Tyler vs Mick Jagger? (Magneto #1)
Home security has come a long way since 1996. (Magneto #1)
Sometimes the art crosses the line from iffy to weirdly awesome. (Magneto #1)
The sparkles are a nice touch, Fabian. (Magneto #1)
He’s the messiah! (Magneto #1)
Where… where’d your hair go, man? (Magneto #1)
“Behold my logo font!” (Magneto #2)
Fabian, what did that bird ever do to you?! (Magneto #2)
Meanwhile, in the space-opera version of this story… (Magneto #2)
Kelley Jones really nails the moments of Joseph’s Magneto-facade slipping. (Magneto #2)
PLOP (Magneto #2)
I mean, those birds have ample reason to have misgivings themselves. Fabian Cortez could be anywhere! (Magneto #2)
This was pre-Lyft, see. (Magneto #2)
…magnetism..? (Magneto #3)
So say we all. (Magneto #3)
If Fabian Cortez had a mustache, he’d be twirling it right now. (Magneto #3)
AAAAAAAHHHHHHH (Magneto #3)
Only the real Magneto could maniacally cackle at an angle that dramatic! (Magneto #4)
Because it’s about time someone did. (Magneto #4)
Broadcast Standards & Practices salutes you, Joseph. (Magneto #4)
“…for twenty-three days or so…” (Magneto #4)
NEXT TIME: Mystique vs. politicians-being-alive, round 2. Sorta.

As Mentioned in Episode 371 – Beware of Psychodrama

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Before settling on paint and canvas, Piotr Rasputin’s first medium was the thought balloon. (Excalibur #104)
Douglock tries. (Excalibur #104)
Moira, I know a lot of us have been working from home for a while now, but you may have overdone the whole home-office thing just a tad. (Excalibur #104)
Douglock is so much less mean than Mystique usually is when angrily shapeshifting! (Excalibur #104)
LOOK SHE’S IN THE SHADOWS SHE COULD BE ANYONE OKAY (Excalibur #104)
Also, Dani never did that back in the day. (Excalibur #104)
Oh, Kitty. (Excalibur #104)
Pretty sure this cover was printed on black velvet. (Excalibur #105)
Bryan Hitch may be the first artist to make Wildside look genuinely intimidating. (Excalibur #105)
Kitty, those aren’t image inducers, they’re jackets, and you’re wearing one too. (Excalibur #105)
Sound effect as narrative tool. (Excalibur #105)
Kitty gave an emotional and heartfelt speech without using the N-word! (Excalibur #105)
Piotr Rasputin is the firestarter. Twisted firestarter. (Excalibur #106)
But seriously, this is one of the most visually engaging pages of backstory I’ve ever read. (Excalibur #106)
Meggan Puceanu, Actual Elf. (Excalibur #106)
Hey, it’s Frenzy! We love Frenzy! (Excalibur #106)
Jay is not okay with your thought-bubble-versus-computer-display redundancy, Moira. (Excalibur #106)
Excalibur, the comic where everyone is sexy all the time. (Excalibur #106)
Piotr, I think you put your pants on the wrong… you know what, you go, Russian cowboy. Now where did I put those singles… (Excalibur #106)
Metaphor by way of landmine. (Excalibur #106)
“And we’re going to ride bikes with Magneto and he’s going to take us to France!” (Excalibur #106)
NEXT TIME: No one rides bikes.

LINKS & FURTHER MISADVENTURES

  • We allude frequently to Warlock piloting around Doug’s corpse, which story we covered in Episode 91 – The Saddest Story Ever Told.

As Mentioned in Episode 370 – The Sound of Evil

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
So sad… but so colorful! (Uncanny X-Men #46)
(M – Jean’s yellow plaid garment is what we fashionistas call a “coat.” -J)
There’s a reason the Juggernaut’s armor makes him look kinda like a mushroom. (Uncanny X-Men #46)
Angel’s normally better than his teammates at dodging, but he’s weighed down by his fashion choices. Well, Jean’s, I guess. She made his costume. Possibly out of spite. (Uncanny X-Men #46)
JEAN GREY YOU ARE BETTER THAN THIS (Uncanny X-Men #46)
That’s more like it! (Continuity aside.) (Uncanny X-Men #46)
Cheer up, kids. You’ll be back together in just a few issues. (Uncanny X-Men #46)
This is pretty much how Drag Race works, right? (Uncanny X-Men #52)
Shortest cold open ever. (Uncanny X-Men #52)
“Scott, you wore that out? I just made that for you for Bedroom Time! (Uncanny X-Men #52)
I appreciate how very 60s this pair of panels is. (Uncanny X-Men #52)
More 60s! (Uncanny X-Men #52)
It’s… it’s way more complicated than that, Lorna. (Uncanny X-Men #52)
Now that is how you start an issue! (Uncanny X-Men #60)
SCOTT SUMMERS YOU ARE BETTER THAN THIS (Uncanny X-Men #60)
I wish we got to see more of Jean and Lorna as buds. (Uncanny X-Men #60)
We didn’t talk about this in the episode, but I love the story the Brotherhood’s body language is telling in the foreground. (Uncanny X-Men #60)
Miles’s favorite two-page spread. (Uncanny X-Men #60)
How can something so ridiculous be so genuinely tense? (Uncanny X-Men #60)
Aww Jager (Uncanny X-Men #60)
Name a better origin story – we dare you. (Uncanny X-Men #60)
Well, it beats the costume with the suspenders. (Uncanny X-Men #60)
NEXT TIME: Kitty makes some choices.

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

 

370 – The Sound of Evil (feat. Max Carleton)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Max Carleton and Miles take a trip back to the Silver Age, the origins of Marvel Girl’s telepathy are questionable, the nature of Polaris’s parentage is also questionable, and the quality of Sauron’s origin story shall never be questioned.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Locust (Dr. August Hopper)
  • Uncanny X-Men #46, 52, and 60
  • Genuine tragedy
  • Funereal fashion
  • Frederick “Amos” Duncan
  • The Juggernaut (Cain Marko) (again)
  • The Crimson Cosmos
  • Energy globules
  • Charles Xavier’s telepathy lending library
  • Jean Grey, spiteful seamstress
  • Erik the Red (the first one) (Scott Summers)
  • Lorna Dane, fashion icon
  • Filially-obligated villainy
  • Psychic-delia
  • The sadly short-lived Roy Thomas / Neal Adams run
  • Suspension of disbelief
  • Pteranodons
  • Sauron (Karl Lykos, fantasy nerd)
  • Alex Summers, perpetual captive and/or villain battery
  • Miles’s favorite two-page spread
  • How to choose the perfect supervillain name
  • X-Men: The Animated Series, 1960s Edition
  • Our Silver Age X-creator wish list
  • Magnetism

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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