Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

HAWK TALK – Turtle Power

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.


Topics, roughly:

  • Daredevil parodies
  • The nature of mutation
  • The four humors
  • Archetypes of masculinity
  • Legal status of mutant animal people
  • Questionable toys
  • Adaptations and adaptations of adaptations
  • Miles’s favorite Mirage comic story
  • The excellently weird Archie comic series
  • Girl turtles and naming conventions
  • Movies good and bad
  • Milesangelo

HAWK TALK – Call Any Vegetable

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about vegetables. Kind of.


Topics, roughly:

  • Vegetables. Like we said.
  • Is Apocalypse a fruit?
  • Ghost vs. slime trees
  • Dwarves in the rutabagas
  • Ramen mishaps
  • How to be less terrible at cooking
  • Cherimoya, that weirdo

HAWK TALK – Surviving 2020

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked (exhaustedly) about This Freaking Year.


Topics, roughly:

  • This year was pretty rough
  • Maybe next year will be better?
  • Some things are cool, though

NOTE: Miles watched Knives Out immediately after recording this episode, and Jay was right: it is delightful.

HAWK TALK – Surviving the (Holiday) Experience

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about holidays, winter and otherwise.


Topics, roughly:

  • Time, which used to make sense
  • Several holidays and feelings, media, and traditions related thereto
  • Flash Gordon
  • Mixed-faith families
  • A New York Christmas Wedding (the lesbian time travel gay dead baby angel movie)
  • Gingerbread
  • Secular rituals
  • Night in the Woods: Lost Constellation
  • The Dark is Rising (again)
  • The Spirit of Christmas (which is to say, exploding)
  • J. Michael Strazynski’s The Real Ghostbusters
  • Community‘s first three holiday specials
  • Justice League: Comfort & Joy
  • Passover and that time Moses gave Pharaoh a frog
  • Passover and Miles trying very hard to play it cool
  • Chocolate bunny funerals
  • Easter basket comics
  • Being excellent to each other and partying on

Links and further reading:

HAWK TALK – Hawktober

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about our current, and Jay’s favorite, season.


Topics, roughly:

  • Beatni(c)ks
  • Spoopiness vs. Spookiness
  • Fat bears
  • Seasons (and hemispheres)
  • Symbolism and secular ritual
  • Jay’s very specific Halloween costumes
  • Disappointing bats
  • Asymmetrically recognizable couples’ costumes
  • Inaccurate TMNT journalism
  • Over the Garden Wall
  • Costume Quest
  • MediEvil
  • Silent Hill playthroughs
  • The Adventures of Pete and Pete
  • Corn and/or mud mazes
  • Knitting
  • Ginger Snaps (and elaborate homages)
  • Curious chickens
  • Vincent Price
  • Internal hairdo buttresses
  • Flannel and layers and warm drinks

HAWK TALK – Playing With Super Power (feat. Matthew Hunter)

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, our producer Matthew Hunter subbed in for Jay and he and Miles talked about the video games they grew up on!


Topics, roughly:

  • Crystalis
  • Power Blade
  • Fighting robots (in general)
  • Super Mario World
  • F-Zero
  • Final Fantasy II (which is to say IV)
  • Street Fighter II
  • Rockin’ Kats
  • Shatter Hand
  • Battletoads
  • Lemmings
  • The Incredible Machine
  • The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
  • Turtles in Time
  • Mario Paint
  • Doom
  • Secret of Mana
  • Mega Man X
  • Disney adaptations
  • Final Fantasy III (which is to say VI)
  • Donkey Kong Country
  • Super Punch Out
  • Illusion of Gaia
  • BioForge
  • DWANGO (Dial-up Wide-Area Network Game Operation)
  • Full Throttle, Quest For Glory, Gabriel Knight…
  • Wild ARMs
  • Wipeout
  • Stun Runner
  • Resident Evil
  • Final Fantasy VII
  • Fallout
  • Parasite Eve
  • Xenogears
  • Baldur’s Gate
  • Tetris DX
  • Pokémon (Blue)
  • LUNAR
  • Silent Hill

You can find Matt on Twitter and his music on Bandcamp!

HAWK TALK – Video Renaissance

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about the movies we grew up on!


Topics, roughly:

  • The glories of VHS
  • Flight of Dragons
  • Fantastic Planet
  • Star(s), both Wars and Trek
  • The Princess Bride, which is objectively perfect
  • The Dark Crystal
  • My Dinner With Andre (again)
  • The Crow
  • Barbarella, Queen of the Galaxy
  • Help
  • Yellow Submarine
  • Wayne & Garth & Bill & Ted
  • Defending Your Life
  • Ghostbusters
  • Various musicals

HAWK TALK – Attack of the Franchise Cartoons

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about the television shows we grew up on (and a few current ones)!


Topics, roughly:

  • Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood
  • Masters of the Universe
  • She-Ra
  • The Real (vs. non-Real) Ghostbusters
  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
  • Little Shop of Horrors
  • Beetlejuice
  • Toxic Crusaders
  • Attack of the Killer Tomatoes
  • The Adventures of Pete & Pete (and the not-so-secret origin of this podcast)
  • Les Schtroumpfs (and the time they maybe fought Satan)
  • Batman: The Animated Series
  • X-Men: The Animated Series
  • X-Men: Evolution
  • Wolverine & the X-Men
  • The MacNeil/Lehrer NewsHour
  • The X-Files
  • Star Trek: Voyager
  • Earth 2
  • VR5
  • M.A.N.T.I.S.
  • The Simpsons
  • Daria
  • Tuca & Bertie
  • Gravity Falls
  • Over the Garden Wall

You can check out Waiting for October, our zine based on The Adventures of Pete & Pete, on Gumroad!

HAWK TALK – Florida Mans

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about a whole bunch of random topics suggested by you!


Topics, sorta:

  • Good birds
  • Dinosaurs
  • Florida
  • Nostalgic video games
  • Booze
  • Avatar: The Last Airbender
  • Probably some other stuff I’m forgetting

HAWK TALK – Formative Novels

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talk about the (non-comic) books we grew up on!


Books we mentioned, alphabetical by author:

The Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series by Douglas Adams

  • Start with: The Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

The Chronicles of Prydain by Lloyd Alexander

  • Start with: The Book of Three

The Magic of Xanth by Piers Anthony

  • Start with: A Spell for Chameleon

Incarnations of Immortality by Piers Anthony

  • Start with: On a Pale Horse

Letters to Jenny by Piers Anthony

Lots of stuff by Dave Barry

  • Start with: The World According to Dave Barry or any other book

Midnight Hour Encores by Bruce Brooks

The Shannara series by Terry Brooks

  • Start with: The Sword of Shannara

The Magic Kingdom of Landover series by Terry Brooks

  • Start with: Magic Kingdom for Sale – SOLD!

Ender’s Game series by Orson Scott Card

  • Start with: Ender’s Game

The Dark is Rising Sequence by Susan Cooper

  • Start with: Over Sea, Under Stone
  • (But you might want to start with the second book The Dark Is Rising instead and then go back)

Bored of the Rings by Harvard Lampoon

The Bean Trees by Barbara Kingsolver

Dragonriders of Pern series by Anne McCaffrey

  • Start with: Dragonflight, or Dragonsinger works too

The Hero and the Crown by Robin McKinley

Lots of stuff by Cristopher Moore

  • Start with: Island of the Sequined Love Nun or any other book

He, She, and It by Marge Piercey

Lots of stuff by Tom Robbins

  • Start with: Another Roadside Attraction or any other book

Sophie’s Choice by William Styron

Dragonlance series by Margaret Weis, Tracy Hickman, etc.

  • Start with: Chronicles, Book 1: Dragons of Autumn Twilight