Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: piotr rasputin

As Mentioned in Episode 503 – Dream’s Anticlimax

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No, seriously. (Uncanny X-Men #388)
Ouch. (Uncanny X-Men #388)
A nonspecific explosion. (Uncanny X-Men #388)
So large. (Cable #87)
no but seriously how (Cable #87)
Bye, Post. (Cable #87)
One of his teammates has to draw the tattoo on every morning with a sharpie. (Bishop: The Last X-Man #16)
Every time they watch a movie, Wolverine carefully explains to his teammates that it’s not real. (Bishop: The Last X-Man #16)
Mother of the year. (Bishop: The Last X-Man #16)
Now kiss! (X-Men #108)
This is not subtext, although it may be an anagram of subtext. (X-Men #108)
NEXT EPISODE: SKA!

503 – Dream’s Anticlimax

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In which history repeats itself; Senator Kelly prevaricates (and then dies); Magneto keeps the cape on; Mystique does evil science; Post remains irrelevant (and then dies); Pyro saves the day (and then dies); Cable is a large man; Moira MacTaggert does the astral nasty (and then dies); and we really, really, really want to go to Froggy World.

X-PLAINED:

  • Moira MacTaggert’s mutation
  • A dubious plan
  • Evidence that we are in the wrong universe
  • Other crossovers named “Dream’s End”
  • A significant disclaimer
  • Uncanny X-Men #388
  • Cable #87
  • Bishop: The Last X-Men #16
  • X-Men #108
  • A surprise presidential platform
  • Sir Gordon Phillips and his guests
  • The new Brotherhood of Mutants
  • Cable’s hair
  • A lot of movie allusions
  • An ambiguous explosion
  • A deeply pointless retcon
  • An illusion
  • Cable’s psimitar
  • Pyro’s last stand
  • Dickalogue
  • Astral sex
  • The (apparent) death of Moira MacTaggert
  • A weird bonding moment in a cemetery
  • How to identify a time traveler
  • The (actual) death of Senator Robert Kelly
  • Mutant-free parts of the Marvel Universe
  • Froggy World

NEXT EPISODE: Generation X!

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502 – Milkshakes of Despair (Maximum Security, Part 2 of 2)

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In which t’ieves and assassins dress to impress; Bishop returns; Rogue and Carol Danvers have a moment; and the revolution will be stored on compact disc.

X-PLAINED:

  • The New Son
  • The First Half of Maximum Security
  • Gambit #23
  • X-Men #107
  • X-Men Unlimited #29
  • Maximum Security #3 (briefly)
  • Several of Gambit’s buddies
  • How to dress for… stealth? I guess?
  • Heth’sa of the planet Culth
  • Where Carl the X-Cutioner got his silly outfit
  • A heist
  • How to restore your lost honor without messing up the timeline
  • 12-18 milkshakes
  • What Colossus is into these days
  • Vampire clowns (maybe)
  • Z’Cann
  • The Blood Brothers
  • Vibes memories
  • A big fight
  • A touching moment of touching
  • Mechamage, briefly
  • Quasar, superficially
  • Cadre K
  • The Skrull cows
  • Writing for the trade vs. podcast pacing
  • Limits of power-cancelling accessories

NEXT EPISODE: Dream’s Rather Anticlimactic End!

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As Mentioned in Episode 498 – Home Depot Ossuary

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The Twisted Sisters: “Never heard of ’em.” (X-Men #105)
Torque. Pretty sure that’s not the Invisible Woman in there. (X-Men #105)
Dun dun dun dun dun, Inspector Coil (X-Men #105)
More Logan backstory! MORE! (X-Men #105)
Does Nightcrawler teleport out of his clothes at the end of the day? (X-Men #105)
Psylocke should have worn her unstable cocktail dress. (X-Men #105)
A building sealed with the impenetrable perfection of boards. (X-Men #106)
I submit that if the Neo losing their powers for a few weeks could do this, there maaaaaay have been some flaws with their civilization. (X-Men #106)
Rogue PTUIs for us all. (X-Men #106)
Comics! (X-Men #106)
Just like DARE told us! (X-Men #106)
Hi, new Super Sabre and Crimson Commando! Bye, new Super Saber and Crimson Commando! (X-Men #106)
Behold, the effects of X-Men Forever! (X-Men #106)
Rogue, super spy. (X-Men #106)
Problem solved! (X-Men #106)
Hey, it’s that one scene from the X-Men Evolution intro that’s also that one scene from Buffy the Vampire Slayer! (Uncanny X-Men #386)
“I’ve kissed the lips that kissed you!” (Uncanny X-Men #386)
Thanks for breaking the tension, Paolo. (Uncanny X-Men #386)
WHEEEEE (Uncanny X-Men #386)
See? Not so judgey of Lee Forrester now, are we? (Uncanny X-Men #386)
NEXT TIME: X-Force versus monsters! Again!

498 – Home Depot Ossuary

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In which the Twisted Sisters are vanquished by water; there is no way to make Stryfe cool; and the X-Men fight a hurricane.

X-PLAINED:

  • Ego the Living Planet and his dysfunctional family
  • X-Men #105-106
  • Uncanny X-Men #386
  • The Neo (more) (again)
  • The state of Psylocke and Archangel’s relationship
  • The Twisted Sisters
    • Helix
    • Coil
    • Gyre
    • Ringlet
    • Torque
  • Pelicans
  • Bad decisions of past Jay and Miles
  • A mysterious stranger
  • Unrealized plans
  • Mystique and Wolverine’s forgotten friendship
  • Neo infrastructure
  • Big Casino’s name
  • An unlikely hybrid
  • A surprisingly large femur
  • The new Brotherhood
  • Lee Forrester (again)
  • Weather
  • Fan history

NEXT EPISODE: X-Force vs. Warborgs

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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495 – The Goth

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In which Rogue is beset with leadership; Psylocke’s telekinetic sword is narratively inconsistent; the Crimson Pirates are bad at their job; and you should not look to Frank Punisher as a role model.

X-PLAINED:

  • Whether Dani Moonstar is still a Valkyrie
  • X-Men #103-104
  • Uncanny X-Men #384-385
  • A crossover
  • Tessa (somewhat)
  • A test
  • The Goth (group)
  • Skulls
  • The Crimson Pirates
  • The mind of Tullamore Voge
  • Something “rough trade” does not mean
  • Visual representation of telepathy
  • Kymri (again)
  • The Goth (individual)
  • Skycycles
  • A ruse
  • How to get the X-Perts at a convention near you
  • What happened to the Massachusetts Academy

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men Forever

The visual companion to this episode will be up in the near future!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 494 – You’ve Got Evil Mail

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Is Thunderbird cosplaying Colossus? (X-Men Unlimited #27)
Meet Neal Shaara! Or sometimes Neal Sharra, depending on who’s writing! (X-Men Unlimited #27)
In which Karima Shapandar literally jump-kicks her way into the issue. (See also the 1977 kung fu film The Invincible Armour.) (X-Men Unlimited #27)
And you haven’t even met Maggott yet! (X-Men Unlimited #27)
embarrassed_werewolf sounds like part of an auto-generated Reddit username. (X-Men Unlimited #27)
“Crap, instead of zapping them with the Robot Servant Ray, we zapped them with the Main Character Ray!” (X-Men Unlimited #27)
Aww, Sanjit. (X-Men Unlimited #27)
Hope you survive the experience! (X-Men Unlimited #27)
Check out Gambit’s sideways-Legion hair! And Beast’s Banshee disguise! (X-Men Unlimited #28)
Darkstar speaks for us all. (X-Men Unlimited #28)
This ain’t Beast’s first brainwashing rodeo. (X-Men Unlimited #28)
Listen, the Darkforce is just cool, okay? (X-Men Unlimited #28)
Dis not what Gambit had in mind. (X-Men Unlimited #28)
More like the Golden Death, really. (X-Men Unlimited #28)
Darkstar’s face is the same as Miles’s when he first discovered Cloud/Sephiroth slash almost 30 years ago. (X-Men Unlimited #28)
“No, my only weaknesses – rain and tasers!” (X-Men Unlimited #28)
Technology safety tip: if you get a suspicious email, blow up your computer! (X-Men Annual 2000)
Adorable downtime! (X-Men Annual 2000)
I love these goofballs so much. (X-Men Annual 2000)
Rogue learned a lot of things during her time with Magneto, like: if you have a problem, throw it into space. (X-Men Annual 2000)
The focused totality of her cutting your goddamn head off. (X-Men Annual 2000)
Everyone just looks really cool here. That’s the only significance. (X-Men Annual 2000)
GUN ARRRRRRMMMSSSSS (X-Men Annual 2000)
That’s some Claremont dialogue, alright (complimentary). (X-Men Annual 2000)
I guess that’s why Stryfe’s not too concerned with peripheral vision. Explains the helmet. (X-Men Annual 2000)
NEXT TIME: The Goth!

494 – You’ve Got Evil Mail

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In which the X-Men zealously protect their trademarks; Cable can have as many moms as he wants to; not everyone should have to be a superhero; Lady Deathstrike knows how to handle unauthorized emails; and somehow there are still more gun arms.

X-PLAINED:

  • Lady Deathstrike
  • X-Men Unlimited #27-28
  • X-Men Annual 2000
  • One reason to recycle code names
  • Thunderbird III (Neal Shaara)
  • Sanjit Shaara and his electronic diary
  • Karima Shapandar
  • Bastion and the Prime Sentinels (again) (briefly)
  • Omega Prime Sentinels
  • Rebirth Island and what lurks there
  • Darkstar (Laynia Petrovna)
  • Unusual disturbances
  • Whether Gambit sleeps
  • The Black Death
  • Internet security training with Bastion
  • The genealogy of Nora Ephron romantic comedy You’ve Got Mail
  • Fashion
  • Stryfe (again) (briefly)
  • Psylocke’s telekinetic katana
  • Interactions between Madelyne Pryor and her large adult son
  • Spiral’s Body Shop

NEXT EPISODE: The Brotherhood targets Senator Kelly… again.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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490 – Chekhov’s Angel Dust

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In which Chris Claremont tries to make the Neo happen; Cecilia Reyes continues to have no time for this bullshit; Rogue gets some action; Shadowcat flees the comic; and Tessa returns.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Evolutionaries
  • X-Men #100-102
  • The current X-Men rosters
  • Thunderbird (Neal Shaara)
  • Claremont vs. continuity
  • Dove crimes
  • The Neo
    • Domina
    • Jaeger
    • Rax
  • Fancy space suits
  • What to do with someone else’s bone claws
  • Some guy named Seth
  • The High Evolutionary’s love nest
  • A Phoenix-saga callback
  • Rave
  • Warren Kenneth Worthington III’s weird fantasies
  • Whether unstable molecules are self-cleaning
  • Seventeen deaths of Mister Sinister
  • Salvo the Living Gun
  • How to keep track of X-Men
  • Time travel problems
  • X-Men LEGO sets we’d like to see

NEXT EPISODE: Live from Washington, D.C.!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!

 

 

As Mentioned in Episode 483 – Piotr Lovely Locks

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I appreciate that Shadowcat’s new costume involves her perpetually flipping the (very sharp) bird. (X-Men: Black Sun #1)
I mean, it could be worse – you could be Colossus. (X-Men: Black Sun #1)
[Epic metal begins] (X-Men: Black Sun #1)
Is Nightcrawler trying to distract from his awful new color scheme by diving at the reader crotch-first? (X-Men: Black Sun #1)
A different look than usual, but I’m not mad at it. (X-Men: Black Sun #1)
SEEMS FINE. (X-Men: Black Sun #1)
Except that one time! And kind of that other time! (X-Men: Black Sun #1)
Chekhov’s removable skeleton. (X-Men: Black Sun #2)
I mean, we’re not not going to show the shattered-moon-and-mountain-of-skulls every time it comes up. (X-Men: Black Sun #2)
Magik x-plains the miniseries. (X-Men: Black Sun #2)
After this, Warren will be required to take a Defensive Swooping class. (X-Men: Black Sun #2)
Oof – right in the outfit! (X-Men: Black Sun #2)
(bonk) (X-Men: Black Sun #2)
A warm welcome back to Polaris’s chest-skull! (X-Men: Black Sun #3)
“Listen, it’s not my fault I’ve been a terrible boyfriend to every woman I’ve dated! And it definitely doesn’t imply anything!” (X-Men: Black Sun #3)
“Hey! That’s my favorite nipple you almost cut off!” (X-Men: Black Sun #4)
Dude needs to hydrate. (X-Men: Black Sun #4)
We’d normally say not to mess with perfection, but that’s not a bad evolution of the Phoenix costume! (X-Men: Black Sun #4)
Now that’s a demon. Well, Ru’tai. (X-Men: Black Sun #4)
The origin of Magik’s bare midriff! (X-Men: Black Sun #4)
You’re missing a bloodstone and a Banshee! (X-Men: Black Sun #5)
Paging Doctor Belmont… (X-Men: Black Sun #5)
Way better than throwing a Poké Ball. (X-Men: Black Sun #5)
Hey, now there are SIX bloodstones! At least Belasco’s throne is rad. (X-Men: Black Sun #5)
From the Arcane Tome of Evil Fashion. (X-Men: Black Sun #5)
BOOM! (X-Men: Black Sun #5)
What if Magik was She-Ra? (X-Men: Black Sun #5)
NEXT TIME: Magik gets metal.

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