piotr rasputin – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

463 – The Fart Ghost That Walks Like a Manhattan

September 22, 2024 Jay 5 comments

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In which Gambit is fundamentally goofy; t’ieves love research; Magneto was ripped; Professor Xavier remains a jerk; Miles attempts to convey something very fundamentally visual in an audio format; Marrow is adorable; the X-Men pretty much disband (again); and a miniseries is the opposite of a vacation.

X-PLAINED:

Where Wolverine went
Gambit Annual 1999
Uncanny X-Men #372
X-Men #92
A lot of backstory
A very cute plastic goose
What Gambit does in his free time
Those weird fluid-filled tubes they put people in all the time for some reason
Gambit’s abs
The fart ghost (Mary Purcell)
Manhattan, Indiana
A very minor continuity error
Fart ghost metaphysics
A very bad idea
A muppetworthy death
Dream’s various ends
X-pajamas
Professional dinosaurs
Thinkers
Theoretical Cyclops-Daredevil team-ups
X-characters recognizable as civilians

NEXT EPISODE: The return of the Damocles Foundation!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 460 – Setting Sons

September 1, 2024 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

I really enjoy cover copy like this. (Generation X #52)

Synch is better at your powers than you are. (Generation X #52)

Oh, snap! (Generation X #52)

Wait, if it’s just her skin, shouldn’t we be seeing muscles and stuff under it? (Generation X #52)

What happens when you give image inducers to moppets. (Generation X #52)

TFW you just rescued a mercenary in the woods outside your boarding school, and he’s kinda hot. (Generation X #53)

The Rising Sons. (Generation X #53)

This is one of very few panels in which you can see Paladin’s whole costume. (Generation X #54)

Damn, Adrienne. (Generation X #54)

NEXT EPISODE: The return of Rictor and Shatterstar!

460 – Setting Sons

August 25, 2024 Jay 4 comments

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In which Synch is better with your powers than you are; Generation X gets some actual training; Artie and Leech are fully feral; everyone gets the hots for Paladin; Zeus has probably fucked a motorcycle at some point; many countries have valleys; and Adrienne Frost is terrible.

X-PLAINED:

Generation X #52-54
Tristan Brawn (more) (again)
Grant Morrison on suspension of disbelief in superhero media
Honor vs. privilege
School dance themes
Artie and Leech’s habitat
Spider-Ham
Ducktor Doom
Role models
What Gaia is probably definitely up to
Paladin
The Rising Sons
Rollerblades
Dragon problems
Power emulation vs. reproduction
Pokémans
Cosplaying Emma Frost with a beard
Diamond Patch
Muir Island vs. Muir Isle

NEXT EPISODE: X-Force goes to Genosha!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 456 – Until/Unless

July 24, 2024 Miles Leave a comment

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Techno-organic cover #1! (Uncanny X-Men #371)

Cheer up, Chuck – it’s just naptime at your school! I guess they all forgot their red and blue mats. (Uncanny X-Men #371)

I’m not so sure about this plot development, but… she’s just so happy! (Uncanny X-Men #371)

Hey, don’t judge: you look way grosser under your outer layer. (Uncanny X-Men #371)

“Dis was not in Gambit’s horoscope!” (Uncanny X-Men #371)

The Phalanx Covenant by Doctor Seuss. (Uncanny X-Men #371)

Techno-organic cover #2! (X-Men #91)

Take that, Billy G! You know what you did. (X-Men #91)

I love these weird faces and terrifying bone-trees! (X-Men #91)

Oof, brutal. (But nice dress, Rogue!) (X-Men #91)

URRKK indeed! (X-Men #91)

And for one panel, we were joined by the spirit of Bill Sienkiewicz. (X-Men #91)

Techno-organic cover #3! Yep, that’s Colossus’s arm from the last cover – we didn’t realize they connected until our listener Alex pointed it out on the blog! (X-Men Annual 1999)

This montage is way more efficient at describing continuity than our podcast. (X-Men Annual 1999)

Colonel Nicholas J. Fury, leading with guns and crotch. (X-Men Annual 1999)

Red Skull loves the Power Glove. It’s so bad. (X-Men Annual 1999)

Miles learned about the field of neurosurgery’s Thumbtack Technique back in college. (X-Men Annual 1999)

Go, Gadget, Go! (X-Men Annual 1999)

Yes, we know Douglock’s robo-suspenders started out as a miscoloring of his New Mutants uniform, but… they kinda work? (X-Men Annual 1999)

None of these new series will make it past a year. (X-Men Annual 1999)

NEXT TIME: Cecilia’s back!

456 – Until/Unless

July 21, 2024 Miles 3 comments

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In which there’s nothing inherently wrong with monster-of-the-week; Marrow’s makeover extends to her font; Red Skull gets a Power Glove; Marvel sets up a slate of spinoffs; and you should hire Matt Hunter to produce your podcast!

X-PLAINED:

What Danger’s been up to lately
Uncanny X-Men #371
X-Men #91
X-Men Annual 1999
Crossover cover design
Skrullverine
Machine Man
Dethlok vs. Dethklok
Jack Truman (Agent 18) (to some extent)
A nice dress
An awkward reunion
Gambit as a mentor
Billy G.
A daring but silly rescue
Several upcoming series
Marrow’s bone bikini and/or pubes
Whether Rogue can absorb animals

NEXT EPISODE: Cecilia Reyes returns from retirement!

Want to hire J&MXPtXM producer Matt Hunter to produce your podcast? Email him!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 445 – Dick War

April 7, 2024 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

This cover, man. (X-Men: The Magneto War #1)

Rogue’s dream bikini. (X-Men: The Magneto War #1)

His powers are just icky. (X-Men: The Magneto War #1)

Please enjoy Nightcrawler’s adorable pajamas. (X-Men: The Magneto War #1)

That’s… that’s not Trish Tilby. (Uncanny X-Men #366)

…what… (Uncanny X-Men #366)

Magneto knows from villainous lairs. (Uncanny X-Men #366)

Ferris is a cutie. (Uncanny X-Men #366)

NEXT EPISODE: Magneto wins.

LINKS & FURTHER ADVICE

Birthday shenanigans! Be there, or be… somewhere else, I guess.
The Harkness Test is the gold standard for ethical monsterfucking.
Waiting for the Trade is the gold standard for Suburban Magneto.

445 – Dick War

April 7, 2024 Jay 10 comments

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In which not every story needs to be an event; Alan Davis returns to the X-line; X-mansion security is not what it once was; Rogue needs some new fantasies; and Magneto wants a country.

X-PLAINED:

A poor governance decision
X-Men: The Magneto War #1
Uncanny X-Men #366
Astral demerits
A very dramatic dream
The yolk of oppression
Several Acolytes
Nightcrawler’s nightcap
Our standards for advertisers
Suburban Magneto
Ferris
Magnet problems
Forged DNA
Mutants from Georgia, Florida, and Indiana
Flying with Storm

NEXT EPISODE: Magneto wins.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

RSVP to our birthday shenanigans!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 444 – Damnit, Magnus

March 31, 2024 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Domino: wine mom, but also good mom. (X-Force #86)

WRONG FREEZER WRONG FREEZER (X-Force #86)

Theresa Rourke Cassidy, mistress of disguise. (X-Force #86)

Remember how Moonstar’s weird new powers are always accompanied by a cosmic blue glow? This issue doesn’t, and is thus… confusing. (X-Force #86)

Odysseus Indigo, the most dapper of antagonists. (X-Force #86)

Some exceptionally efficient visual storytelling by Jim Cheung. (X-Force #86)

Christmas in March! Well, March for us. December for Colossus. (Uncanny X-Men #365)

Hey, it’s that thing Miles used to draw in middle school! How’d that get there?! (Uncanny X-Men #365)

In which Colossus interrupts a very manly threesome. (Uncanny X-Men #365)

The X-Men X-Plain X-Mas. (Uncanny X-Men #365)

I mean, that’s Rusty Collins, right? (Uncanny X-Men #365)

“My favorite X-Men character? You probably haven’t heard of him.” (Uncanny X-Men #365)

Oof, my emotions… (Uncanny X-Men #365)

Aww. (Uncanny X-Men #365)

Now that is a cover. (X-Men #85)

In which the first page establishes that this story will be a Big Deal. (X-Men #85)

Sorry, Bill… today’s gonna be a rough one. (X-Men #85)

We missed Alan Davis. (X-Men #85)

Uh oh. (X-Men #85)

Heroes. (X-Men #85)

This issue uses juxtaposition perfectly. (X-Men #85)

Magneto gets the answer he wants… and then the answer he doesn’t. (X-Men #85)

NEXT TIME: The Magneto War begins.

LINKS & FURTHER FESTIVITIES

RSVP to our 10th birthday party!

444 – Damnit, Magnus

March 31, 2024 Miles 5 comments

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In which it’s difficult to flee with soup; Miles may or may not be haunting the X-Men; Colossus collaborates involuntarily; Marrow is full of surprises; Magneto is a dick; Jay continues to carry a torch for Secret Wars: Siege; and you should totally come to our birthday party.

X-PLAINED:

Several rather pointed allusions
X-Force #86
Uncanny X-Men #365
X-Men #85
Almost Reno, NM
Where mutants come from
The Aguilar Institute (more) (again)
Abandoned towns
Mary the telepathic moppet (more) (again)
Odysseus Indigo
The Damocles Foundation
Sibling names
The Fundamental Attribution Error
A haunting
Christmas beer
Christmas ghost exquisite corpse
Bill Jones
A rescue mission
Essential stories of the ‘90s
Our weird favorites
Siege
Our upcoming 10^th birthday party (more) (again)

NEXT EPISODE: Magneto War begins!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

RSVP to our birthday shenanigans!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 442 – MimeQuest 64

March 3, 2024 Miles One comment

Listen to the episode here.

A story in four parts. (X-Men Unlimited #22)

They have fun. (X-Men Unlimited #22)

In a world of clean-lined cartoony art, Logan is craggy. (X-Men Unlimited #22)

#roasted (X-Men Unlimited #22)

Any of the X-Men could wear that map as a dress! (X-Men Unlimited #22)

(New) Girl Talk (X-Men Unlimited #22)

A well-armed mime-litia. (X-Men Unlimited #22)

Patrick Gleason, master of visually engaging conversations. (X-Men Unlimited #22)

And you told your math teacher you’d never need to know this stuff in real life. (X-Men Unlimited #22)

Shadowcat and Marrow miniseries now, please! (X-Men Unlimited #22)

See, it’s funny, because normally MetroCards charge you! (X-Men Unlimited #22)

Space Ghost: “Dames are like mustard: they taste great on a sandwich. But when you’re not eating a sandwich… they just sit there in the fridge… on a shelf… in a jar… labeled… mustard.” (X-Men Unlimited #22)