Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

350 – The Xavier Protocols

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Variant cover by Dylan Meconis!
And a real, live, downloadable sketch variant!

In which we celebrate a milestone with a special collectible episode; there may already be a Charles Xavier in your basement; Onslaught lacks subtlety; Bill Watterson may or may not have changed his licensing policy on Earth-616; guns should not have hair; and Jay once again exercises his questionable lyrical skills.

X-PLAINED:

  • Excalibur #100
  • Fantastic Four #415
  • X-Factor #125
  • X-Men #55
  • Onslaught (more) (again)
  • The Xavier Protocols
  • The many secret subbasements of Charles Francis Xavier
  • The Xavier Protocols
  • An extremely poor file-retrieval system
  • Onslaught vs. the Fantastic Four
  • Li’l Charlie
  • A circus, kind of
  • Lang disambiguation
  • Onslaught’s new look
  • Onslaught vs. several Avengers
  • An unlicensed rug
  • The only thing Bill Watterson loves
  • Metaphorical Turkish delight
  • The Brand Corporation (more) (again)
  • Dark Descendents
  • Hairy guns
  • Caps for Sale
  • A really big fight
  • A very dramatic EMP
  • Why Onslaught looks like that

NEXT EPISODE: Yep, more Onslaught!


“Magneto’s Cape” lyrics by Jay Edidin, with apologies to Marsha Norman. Performed by Steve Pence and Adam Faruqi and produced by Adam Faruqi.


CORRECTION: There are only three variant covers to this episode, not four; Jen Vaughn had to bow out due to other commitments.


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As Mentioned in Episode 347 – Onslaught Begins

Listen to the episode here.



LINKS & FURTHER ALLUSIONS

347 – Onslaught Begins

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we stop procrastinating and dive headfirst into Onslaught; Professor Xavier is a jerk; Dark Beast wasn’t even supposed to be here today; Onslaught declaims like it’s the Silver Age; Bishop gets some long-awaited closure; and we pitch alternate candidates for the X-traitor.

X-PLAINED:

  • Hyperstorm
  • Onslaught (entity)
  • Onslaught (event)
  • Uncanny X-Men #334
  • X-Men #54
  • Onslaught: X-Men #1
  • How to pronounce “Buccellato”
  • The opposite of a pep talk
  • Nate Grey vs. Professor X
  • The Z’noxx (again)
  • One of several times Charles Xavier has faked his own death
  • Muscle March
  • Franklin Richards
  • The Gem of Cyttorak
  • A villain speech
  • That one recording Bishop found in the future
  • The X-traitor
  • Li’l Charlie
  • Magneto’s hood ornament
  • Alternate takes on the X-traitor

NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught continues.


Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 333 – Fight Train

Listen to the episode here.


333 – Fight Train

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Miles discovers owl legs; Iceman dwells in subtext; Dark Beast overperforms; Daredevil is a delightful trash fire of a person; Graydon Creed’s presidential run is somewhat less shocking in 2021; Rogue does not enjoy playing ‘Got your nose’; and Mister Sinister is not a friend to public transportation.

X-PLAINED:

  • Post-Decimation resurrections
  • Owl legs
  • Uncanny X-Men #331
  • X-Men #51-52
  • Iceman’s complicated personal life
  • Casual crossovers
  • The facial hair of Warren Kenneth Worthington III
  • The terrible decisions of Matt Murdock
  • How to subtly test your in-laws for mutant powers
  • What Mister Sinister sounds like
  • A bad plan
  • The debut of Bastion
  • DNA
  • Foreshadowing

NEXT EPISODE: Emplate Sucks


Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 321 – Revolving Doors

Listen to the podcast here.


321 – Revolving Doors

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Sabretooth does not get effectively rehabilitated; nobody has the moral high ground; Val Cooper is the worst possible person to call in any emergency; Bishop needs a better support system; Jay knows several things about onions; and not everything has to be a mammal.

X-PLAINED:

  • Sabretooth (more) (again)
  • X-Force #48
  • Uncanny X-Men #328
  • Sabretooth Special #1
  • Bunny slippers
  • An intervention
  • Stages of grief
  • What not to do with Sabretooth
  • An evil squirrel
  • Onions
  • The three genders
  • Mutant Massacre callbacks
  • Caption disambiguation problems
  • The overabundance of boobs on fictional non-mammalian species

NEXT EPISODE: INTO THE CLONE ZONE!


Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 317 – Acquaintances of Humanity

Listen to the episode here.


317 – Acquaintances of Humanity

In which Nicholas Cage is more of a concept than a human being; Rogue’s angst-fueled road trip continues; Gambit and Sinister have complementary aesthetics; there are a lot of Guthries; the Trasks are never up to any good; and whether or not it is canon, Ghost Rider has definitely teamed up with Johnny Cash.

X-PLAINED:

  • Ghost Rider (film)
  • Nicholas Cage
  • Rogue and Gambit
  • X-Men #45
  • Uncanny X-Men #326
  • Uncanny X-Men Annual 1995
  • A gratuitous gatefold
  • Alliteration vs. consonance
  • Osmium
  • Fancy captions
  • Aesthetics
  • Shorts
  • Gambit vs. Sabretooth
  • Questionable medical policy
  • AIDS and the Legacy Virus, revisited
  • Humanity’s Last Stand
  • Guthries
  • Preacher
  • The evolution of killer robots
  • Superhero-musician team-ups
  • Otherworld vs. the M’Kraan crystal

NEXT EPISODE: THE LEPRECHAUNS RETURN


Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 301 – Can’t Beat the Real Thing

Listen to the episode here.



LINKS & FURTHER HOMECOMINGS: