Do you wish Les Miserables were about X-Men? TODAY YOU ARE IN LUCK: Here is a downloadable version of the parody of “At the End of the Day” that closed Episode 226!lyrics &c.
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At the End of the Fight
Lyrics by Jay Edidin, with apologies to Herbert Kretzmer
Performed by *Luz Bianca, Greg Black, Jeremy Borders, Lucas Brown, Kitty Byrne, *Tina Carelton, *Finn Carter, Everett Christensen, Veryan Croggan, Chris Eddleman, *Christina Eddleman, edibleflowers, Sol Foster, Emily Freville, Matt Gardner, Eric Michael Gray, Pete Gresser, Becky Hawkins, Andrew Hill, Jeff Holland, Al Kennedy, Steve Lacey, Kevin Lanigan, Elana Levin, *Alex Lundquist, Dan McMahon, William Mason, Steve Neal, notwhelmedyet (Lynn), Duck Orsino, Shannon Pack, Erin Pence, *Steve Pence, Philthy, Mariana Poole, rainproof, Samantha Riedel, Scott Sharplin, Adam Slevison, Richaundra Thursday, Dave Tomaine, Devin Toohey, and Grace Young.
At the end of the fight you’re another page older
And that’s all you can say for the X-Factor life
It’s a struggle, it’s a war
And just when you think that you’re winning
You find yourself stuck on the moon, facing down Stryfe
And the fight’s just beginning
At the end of the fight you’re another fight older
And the X on your jacket won’t keep out the chill
And the readers all hurry past
To the six other X-books they’re buying
As the Legacy Virus spreads fast, ready to kill
One fight nearer to dying
A tthe end of the fight there’s another fight coming
A crossover next week, an annual soon
Like a storm that’ll break any second
Foreshadowing Fatal Attractions
There’s a reckoning still to be reckoned
Plus the critics’ hot takes and reactions
And the future is not looking bright
At the end of the fight
At the end of the fight there will be a debriefing
You don’t get to slack in a government job
We’ve got better things to do
And this system doesn’t seem fair
After all, we threw all the punches
Plus, we don’t care
[STRONG GUY+ WOLFSBANE]
And we need a vacation.
Have you seen how Val Cooper is fuming today
She might be possessed, she seems so out of sorts
Step it up Summers, there’s paperwork waiting–
They’re not dissertations, just mission reports
At the end of the fight it’s another fight over
To whatever extent superhero fights end
Fight Magneto, fight the Blob
Fight some guy we just met in a sewer
What the hell, at least it’s a job
Just find us the next evildoer
‘Cause there’s no resolution in sight
At the end of the fight
LINKS & FURTHER NONSENSE:
- David Dinkins was New York City’s first Black mayor and a pretty interesting dude.
- The Lindbergh baby was not in fact safely returned. Sorry, Rahne.
- If you want to know more about Genosha, check out Episode 99 – Those Who Walk Away From Genosha.
- You can hear about Havok’s short career as a magistrate in Episode 156 – Genosha Strikes Back.
- For Val Cooper’s unfortunate encounter with a tentacle monster, listen to Episode 216 – X-Amining X-Factor.
In which Havok actually used to be pretty great; there are at least four attorneys in the Marvel Universe; Genosha continues to be wildly problematic; Hieronymus Bosch was not Comics Code-compliant; Quicksilver goes on vacation; Polaris has no time for your love triangle; Wolfsbane can maul as many magistrates as she wants; and Multiple Man makes a choice.
• Damian Tryp
• An unconventional staffing practice
• Genosha (more) (again)
• The devolution of Alex Summers’ personality
• Several attorneys in the Marvel Universe
• X-Factor #88-91
• Random (Marshall Stone III)
• Joe Quesada’s signature ribbons
• Checkbook heroism
• Kids these days
• Genoshan reconstruction
• Several gardens of earthly delights
• A mercifully abandoned plan
• A conspiracy
• A significant tonal shift
• Mutate #24601
• Genosha’s sanitation system
• Dick Chalker
• Magneto Rex
• Humans in Magneto’s Genosha
NEXT EPISODE: Wolverine vs. everything
Thanks to everyone who helped bring Jay’s weird musical dream to life:
*Luz Bianca, Greg Black, Jeremy Borders, Lucas Brown, Kitty Byrne, *Tina Carelton, *Finn Carter, Everett Christensen, Veryan Croggan, Chris Eddleman, *Christina Eddleman, edibleflowers, Sol Foster, Emily Freville, Matt Gardner, Eric Michael Gray, Pete Gresser, Becky Hawkins, Andrew Hill, Jeff Holland, Al Kennedy, Steve Lacey, Kevin Lanigan, Elana Levin, *Alex Lundquist, Dan McMahon, William Mason, Steve Neal, notwhelmedyet (Lynn), Duck Orsino, Shannon Pack, Erin Pence, *Steve Pence, Philthy, Mariana Poole, rainproof, Samantha Riedel, Scott Sharplin, Adam Slevison, Richaundra Thursday, Dave Tomaine, Devin Toohey, and Grace Young.
Special thanks to Juliana Finch, Christian Lipski, and Laser Webber for technical advice; Christina Eddleman for recording the demo track; and Matt Gardner and Peter Gresser for [Easter egg description redacted].
Check out the visual companion to this episode–as well as the full lyrics to “At the End of the Fight”–on our blog!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Because sometimes correct taxonomy* has to take a back seat to the rule of cool.
Artist Tyler Crook (B.P.R.D., Harrow County) brings your wildest dreams–and our favorite persistent error–to howling life on this stunning shirt, which features not only a luminous full moon, but two entire Wolverines more than t-shirts with only one Wolverine on them.
Three Wolverine Moon is available on a wide variety of shirts, which can be worn consecutively or concurrently for additional simultaneous Wolverines; as well as tote bags, throw pillows, and stickers. It’ll be up in our shop until July 1, 2015, after which it will disappear forever.
*Yes, we are aware that wolverines are not wolves. That’s what makes it funny.