Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

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As Mentioned in Episode 490 – Chekhov’s Angel Dust

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Our Father, who art in heaven, how the heck do all these doves keep getting into our church? (X-Men #100)
Meet the Neo. (X-Men #100)
An unlikely but stylish spacesuit. (X-Men #100)
Um. Well. (X-Men #100)
Rax in his inexplicable child form. (X-Men #100)
Phoenix callback! (X-Men #101)
I love how pissed off Charlotte is about this. (X-Men #101)
You know those paintings of the martyrdom of St. Sebastian that are basically a super thinly-veiled excuse to paint a nearly-nude hottie? This panel reminds me of those. (X-Men #101)
In Warren’s fantasies, Candy Southern is both alive and blonde. (X-Men #101)
Seriously. Trigun villain. (X-Men #102)
Love that goofy li’l sound effect. (X-Men #102)
NEXT EPISODE: Live from Washington, D.C.!

As Mentioned in Episode 489 – The Eyepatch of Love

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I can suspend disbelief about a lot of things, but I just don’t buy Sexually Irresistible Pete Wisdom, eyepatch or no. (X-Force #102)
Alastair Stuart has not aged well. (X-Force #102)
Please enjoy these meatspore stormtroopers. (X-Force #102)
It’s not just me, right? This cover is sketchy. (X-Force #103)
Sam’s face in this panel is gonna haunt my nightmares. (X-Force #103)
It’s Dr. Niles Roman! (X-Force #103)
Wellp. (X-Force #104)
Definite Slimer vibes. (X-Force #104)
And that’s the end* of Pete Wisdom.

*nope

(X-Force #104)

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men!

XplaintheXmen Live in Washington DC!

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Join us for an X-beginner-friendly, mutant-metaphor-focused, live episode of Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men: presented by LC-GLOBE, the LGBTQ+ organization of employees of the Library of Congress!

When: 6:00 PM on Friday 06/06/25

Where: The Mumford Room (LM-649) in the James Madison Building of the Library of Congress in Washington, DC
If you’d like to join the staff in attending, you’d be very welcome – to reserve seats, please email us so we can get a headcount and make sure you’re on the list. Hope to see you there!

As Mentioned in Episode 488 – There Goes the Moon (Mutant X May, Part 3)

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Color-coded Horsemen of Apocalypse! (Mutant X #19)
What’s the magic word? (Mutant X #19)
Someone let that flying aerobics instructor in! The rain is going to wreck her hair! (Mutant X #20)
That A on his belt stands for Ally! (Mutant X #20)
Note that Charles Xavier’s Evil Mullet is never seen outside of these two panels. (Mutant X #21)
Not a bad riff on the Phoenix costume, honestly. (Mutant X #21)
And then Professor X turned into Doctor Fate. (Mutant X #22)
“That’s right, my friends! We must strike Galactus with every color of the traffic light!” (Mutant X #22)
You ever have a dream where someone is mean to you and then you’re still mad at them when you see them in real life? (Mutant X #23)
Behold! Bargain-basement X-Man, with bonus moppets! (Mutant X #23)
Just a hell of a cover. (Mutant X #24)
Why would you put a portal to the Negative Zone in the goddamn FLOOR?! At least put up a guard rail or something! I’m calling OSHA! (Mutant X #24)
Spoiler: they all just go to a bar. (Mutant X #25)
Flowers for Beast-gernon. (Yes, yes, we know Algernon is the mouse.) (Mutant X #25)
ah jeez (Mutant X #25)
It’s cool, Bloodstorm. We’ve all been there. (Mutant X #26)
The Marauders! (Mutant X #26)
Meet Dagger. And also sorta Cloak. (Mutant X #27)
Awwwwww (Mutant X #27)
Okay, that kid is way too chill. (Mutant X #28)
That’s way better than Evil Xavier’s mullet! (Mutant X #29)
Why, it’s the brand new Sabre-Roaster 3000, as seen on TV! (Mutant X #29)
Plus Iron Giant Man, but he’s too big for this panel! (Mutant X #30)
(This caption intentionally left blank) (Mutant X #31)
After this, they blow up the moon! (Mutant X #31)
The Beyonder x-plains Mutant X! And also eats Captain America. (Mutant X Annual 2001)
It’s really hard to pick a favorite! (Mutant X Annual 2001)
Benjamin E. Yonder, you put the population of New York City down right now! (Mutant X Annual 2001)
Well, I would have said “WHAT?!” (Mutant X #32)
Dracula dies not with a bang, but with a PFFFT. (Mutant X #32)
*sniffle* (Mutant X #32)
Goodbye, Earth-1298. It’s been a hell of a ride. (Mutant X #32)
NEXT TIME: Black ops in black leather!

As Mentioned in Episode 487 – The Only Well-Adjusted Cyclops in the Multiverse (Mutant X May, Part 2)

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…the 2025 story. (Mutant X #9)
The Morlocks! (Mutant X #9)
A damned fine Magneto indeed. (Mutant X #9)
Polaris from X-Factor meets Terra from Final Fantasy VI. (Mutant X #10)
Nightcrawler-1298 can buckle our swashes anytime. (Mutant X #10)
The rest of the X-Men! (Mutant X #10)
The weather is wild today. (Mutant X #11)
I think this might be a big deal, you guys. (Mutant X #12)
Drama! (Mutant X #12)
The Goblin Queen falls. (Mutant X #12)
The secondary theme of Mutant X is the relationship between Ororo Munroe and rodents. (Mutant X #13)
Someone missed the memo about Diaphanous Romper Fridays. (Mutant X #13)
Ninja versus vampire: a tale as old as time. (Mutant X #13)
The most well-adjusted Cyclops in the Multiverse (and friends)! (Mutant X #14)
Bros! (Mutant X #14)
Meet Katherine Pryde, Black Queen of the Hellfire Club; Sebastian Shaw in an iron lung; palette-swapped Captain America; and Sunfire! (Mutant X #15)
De T’ieves Guild. (Mutant X #16)
A thief and a t’ief. (Mutant X Annual 2000)
“Dear Diary, only you understand me.” (Mutant X Annual 2000)
The origin of Gampire/Vambit. (Mutant X Annual 2000)
That first panel is just adorable. (Mutant X Annual 2000)
What a great guy, that Cap! Hope he doesn’t blow up the moon or anything later. (Mutant X #17)
And again: bros! (Mutant X #17)
Seems fine. (Mutant X #18)
Hey, that’s our podcast’s schtick! No swiping! (Mutant X #18)
NEXT TIME: The end of Mutant X May!

As Mentioned in Episode 486 – Welcome to Earth-1298 (Mutant X May, Part 1)

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Welcome to Earth-1298! Hope you survive the–wait, did you survive the experience? I’m not sure the cliche applies if you’re already dead. (Mutant X #1)
Bannerman Castle, headquarters of The Six. (Mutant X #1)
Madelyne goes Goblin Queen. (Mutant X #1)
This issue sets Scotty up to be Creepily Prescient, which he’s really not. (Mutant X #1)
Meet the Six. (Mutant X #2)
Fun times with the Fantastic Four. (Mutant X #2)
Well, THAT can’t be good. (Mutant X #2)
And then: NUDE CANADIANS! (Mutant X #3)
Gothic horror heroine Maddy. (Mutant X #4)
The Fallen is fucking terrible. (Mutant X #5)
Creatures of the night! (Mutant X #7)
Cerebro! (Mutant X #8)
Stingray and Yellowjacket. (Mutant X Annual 1999)
Dr. Strange, Man-Thing. (Mutant X Annual 1999)

As Mentioned in Episode 485 – The House of Correction

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Being the boss means you get the yellow pouches! (Generation X #63)
Teenagers! (Generation X #63)
The new and… improved… Emma Frost. (Generation X #63)
DEAR GOD THOSE PANTS (Generation X #63)
Remember, this issue came out before we knew what happened to Synch… (Generation X #63)
NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE (Generation X #64)
Fashion? (Generation X #64)
Fashion! (Generation X #64)
Jubilee, you are the worstbest. (Generation X #64)
The most dangerous game! (Generation X #64)
Super-speed, part one! (Generation X #65)
Super-speed, part two! (Generation X #65)
I see no flaws with this plan. (Generation X #65)
We have our complaints about this era, but… man, it can just be so charming! (Generation X #65)
I have so many questions, and yet I do not want them answered. (Generation X #66)
Miles just saw Eraserhead at a David Lynch retrospective, and you know that mix of revulsion and pity you feel toward the baby in that movie? …yeah. (Generation X #66)
Banshee, you rule and we’re sorry everyone always forgets you exist. (Generation X #66)
An only slightly less abrupt ending than that of X-Factor #149. (Generation X #66)
NEXT TIME: Yes, really.

As Mentioned in Episode 484 – Hell Tuba

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A miniseries based on a miniseries! (X-Men: Magik #1)
What are we looking at? Not sure. Is it rad? Definitely. (X-Men: Magik #1)
To paraphrase: it doesn’t have to be practical if it’s AWESOME. (X-Men: Magik #1)
Not the most efficient way to blow up a bunch of Teslas, but certainly stylish. (X-Men: Magik #1)
Only one of them got the note about the dress code. But which? (X-Men: Magik #1)
The Battle for Hell’s Deep. (X-Men: Magik #1)
So, like, what if the sky broke and then cut off your goddamned head, is my question (X-Men: Magik #2)
Everyone’s outfits are very long. (X-Men: Magik #2)
Did we mention that this series is in a hell dimension? (X-Men: Magik #2)
(Pushes up Norse glasses:) Technically, Surtur’s sword Twilight would only be on fire if he’d entered Asgard upon the day of Ragnarök, and… (X-Men: Magik #2)
And then sometimes the art is suddenly beautiful. (X-Men: Magik #2)
(wailing guitar solo) (X-Men: Magik #2)
I now pronounce you Hell-Lord and Sorceress! (X-Men: Magik #3)
Hey, tell us more about Lord Militant Phemous and his Huscarls! (X-Men: Magik #3)
Meanwhile, in the Hell-actic Senate… (X-Men: Magik #3)
You get out of the sky and finish your evil-chrome-skeleton-god dinner this instant, young man! (X-Men: Magik #3)
All hail the Hell Tuba! (X-Men: Magik #4)
Welp, there you have it. (X-Men: Magik #4)
Hey, it’s Death’s Head II! Hi, Death’s Head II! (X-Men: Magik #4)
I’m pretty sure Judas Priest has a song about this. (X-Men: Magik #4)
We need to start a metal band just so we can use this as an album cover. (X-Men: Magik #4)
The last day of summer camp is always bittersweet. (X-Men: Magik #4)
NEXT TIME: Generation X versus that thing!

As Mentioned in Episode 483 – Piotr Lovely Locks

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I appreciate that Shadowcat’s new costume involves her perpetually flipping the (very sharp) bird. (X-Men: Black Sun #1)
I mean, it could be worse – you could be Colossus. (X-Men: Black Sun #1)
[Epic metal begins] (X-Men: Black Sun #1)
Is Nightcrawler trying to distract from his awful new color scheme by diving at the reader crotch-first? (X-Men: Black Sun #1)
A different look than usual, but I’m not mad at it. (X-Men: Black Sun #1)
SEEMS FINE. (X-Men: Black Sun #1)
Except that one time! And kind of that other time! (X-Men: Black Sun #1)
Chekhov’s removable skeleton. (X-Men: Black Sun #2)
I mean, we’re not not going to show the shattered-moon-and-mountain-of-skulls every time it comes up. (X-Men: Black Sun #2)
Magik x-plains the miniseries. (X-Men: Black Sun #2)
After this, Warren will be required to take a Defensive Swooping class. (X-Men: Black Sun #2)
Oof – right in the outfit! (X-Men: Black Sun #2)
(bonk) (X-Men: Black Sun #2)
A warm welcome back to Polaris’s chest-skull! (X-Men: Black Sun #3)
“Listen, it’s not my fault I’ve been a terrible boyfriend to every woman I’ve dated! And it definitely doesn’t imply anything!” (X-Men: Black Sun #3)
“Hey! That’s my favorite nipple you almost cut off!” (X-Men: Black Sun #4)
Dude needs to hydrate. (X-Men: Black Sun #4)
We’d normally say not to mess with perfection, but that’s not a bad evolution of the Phoenix costume! (X-Men: Black Sun #4)
Now that’s a demon. Well, Ru’tai. (X-Men: Black Sun #4)
The origin of Magik’s bare midriff! (X-Men: Black Sun #4)
You’re missing a bloodstone and a Banshee! (X-Men: Black Sun #5)
Paging Doctor Belmont… (X-Men: Black Sun #5)
Way better than throwing a Poké Ball. (X-Men: Black Sun #5)
Hey, now there are SIX bloodstones! At least Belasco’s throne is rad. (X-Men: Black Sun #5)
From the Arcane Tome of Evil Fashion. (X-Men: Black Sun #5)
BOOM! (X-Men: Black Sun #5)
What if Magik was She-Ra? (X-Men: Black Sun #5)
NEXT TIME: Magik gets metal.

LINKS AND FURTHER READING

As Mentioned in Episode 482 – The Mutant Gene for Murder

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“Mr. Wisdom would have wanted me to show this much chest.” (X-Force #106)
A fitting tribute from Romany Wisdom (Mark II). (X-Force #106)
Come on, Cable totally would have trained X-Force on Robert’s Rules of Order. (X-Force #106)
“Well, you’re looking at a version of it that doesn’t yet have nearly enough black leather.” (X-Force #106)
Upon further consideration: yeah, Meltdown totally designed all of these. (X-Force #107)
Bedlam’s new powers! (X-Force #107)
Meltdown’s new powers! (X-Force #107)
Proudstar’s new powers! (X-Force #107)
“You see, I have the mutant gene for murder.” (X-Force #107)
Domino understood the fashion assignment. (X-Force #108)
Remember, you can shoot the eyeball for double damage. (X-Force #108)
Spy stuff. (X-Force #108)
First you murder all of the children at this birthday party, and then you have the gall to criticize the host’s baking? (X-Force #108)
Meet these guys! But don’t get too attached. (X-Force #108)
But that doesn’t… it looks nothing like… ah, never mind. (X-Force #108)
You can read the entirety of New Mutants and X-Force as the history of Cannonball learning to turn. (X-Force #109)
I bet he’s using his Cable voice for this threat. (X-Force #109)
Tsung has probably seen The Matrix like, a lot. (X-Force #109)
That’s our Tabitha! (X-Force #109)
Mr. Giger sends his regards. (X-Force #109)
NEXT TIME: Claremont’s back!