Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Category: Blog Posts

As Mentioned in Episode 412 – Yappin’ and Scrappin’

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And then Cyclops left for Alaska again. (X-Men #71)
Dark Phoenix athleisure! (X-Men #71)
As Piglet and Tigger slowly back away… (X-Men #71)
The past didn’t go anywhere. (X-Men #71)
Between Kelly and Pacheco, that is a hell of a compelling conversation. (X-Men #71)
So, how was the trip to Counter-Earth? What was your favorite part? Didja bring us anything? (X-Men #71)
Battle of the gross bone-spikes (X-Men #72)
Marrow’s online handle is xXBloodReaper69Xx (X-Men #72)
Not a good look, Ororo. (X-Men #72)
Fun fact: every case study in Miles’s college neuropsychology text book was about a brain injury from a motorcycle accident! (Uncanny X-Men #351)
“It’s a hypnotic pterodactyl wearing jorts in a metal box, obviously!!! (Uncanny X-Men #351)
To be fair, they don’t look very nice. (Uncanny X-Men #351)
And yet, Pyro’s insurance company still would have encouraged him to go to Urgent Care instead. (Uncanny X-Men #351)
Where’s Waldo? (Uncanny X-Men #351)
Cecilia has no time for Daredevil’s bullshit… and Daredevil has a lot of bullshit. (Uncanny X-Men #351)
Jay and Miles after recording an episode. (Uncanny X-Men #351)
Oh no (Uncanny X-Men #352)
“Honey, I think the new neighbors may be… weird.” (Uncanny X-Men #352)
“…ya dick.” (Uncanny X-Men #352)
ZIELL ZIELL (Uncanny X-Men #352)
Does “evil custodians” belong in r/rareinsults or r/brandnewsentence? (Uncanny X-Men #352)
Then panel below this shows Miles’s face melting into that time he accidentally deleted his Final Fantasy VI save right after unlocking the Paladin Shield. (Uncanny X-Men #352)
See you in the desert, Sam! (Uncanny X-Men #352)
Jean Grey, action hero! (Uncanny X-Men #352)
It… it’ll be fine. Yeah, fine. Probably. (Uncanny X-Men #352)
NEXT TIME: X-Force goes to Burning Man!

Links & Further Reading

As Mentioned in Episode 411 – Tearaway Pants

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When you meet a straight couple, you should ask them which is the Nic Cage and which is the John Travolta. (X-Men Unlimited #17)
Fuckssake, Warren. (X-Men Unlimited #17)
Severe costume injuries. (X-Men Unlimited #17)
Logan’s skiing / beat poetry outfit. (X-Men Unlimited #17)
After thirty years, Warren finally gets a gun, I guess. (X-Men Unlimited #17)
SERIOUSLY, HOW DO THEY RECOGNIZE IT?! (X-Men Unlimited #17)
Much like Gambit, I hallucinate a team of X-Men insulting me at all times. (X-Men Unlimited #18)
Hydro-Man. He sure is. (X-Men Unlimited #18)
Jean Grey advocates for change. (X-Men Unlimited #18)
Aw. (X-Men Unlimited #18)
See, they body-swapped because of carpet static and… y’know what? Just watch Gravity Falls. You won’t regret it.
NEXT EPISODE: Back to the core!

As Mentioned in Episode 410 – Jubilee, Don’t Eat That

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A boojum, which is later referred to repeatedly as a snark but is clearly not one for reasons expounded in this episode. (Generation X #37)
Gaia the Super Chill. (Generation X #37)
SURE WHY NOT (Generation X #37)
A somewhat unlikely timetable. (Generation X #37)
SURE WHY NOT (Generation X #37)
SURE WHY NOT (Generation X #37)
I freakin’ love this cover. (Generation X #38)
Interdimensional portals are rad as heck. (Generation X #38)
(Generation X #38)
jubilee no don’t eat that why would you even (Generation X #39)
SURE WHY NOT (Generation X #39)
In a genre full of deeply oblivious goons, these two may in fact be the most oblivious. (Generation X #39)
NEXT EPISODE: The return of the Angry Clarmontean Narrator!

As Mentioned in Episode 409 – Lurid Malarkey

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In which Sean entirely fails to X-Plain Monet. (Generation X #34)
Tracy Authier, middle-school bandit. (Generation X #34)
Now I really wanna read Paige’s descriptions of these guys. (Generation X #34)
Oh, Paige. (Generation X #34)
The hell what?! (Generation X #34)
M-Plate! (Also, I’m pretty sure Penance’s word balloon is supposed to go to Synch.) (Generation X #34)
Fun with Chimera. (Generation X #35)
Everett, no. (Generation X #35)
In which things get a trifle Windsor McCay. (Generation X #35)
Jubilee’s hallucinogenic Wonderland. (Generation X #35)
More fun in Wonderland. (Generation X #35)
Meet Elwood. (Generation X #36)
Do you know who these people are? PLEASE TELL US! (Generation X #36)
This is not a great way to introduce yourself to the neighbors. (Generation X #36)
Spoiler: Chief Authier is a telepath. (Generation X #36)
NEXT EPISODE: that happens

As Mentioned in Episode 408 – Yabba Yabba Yabba

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(Bishop: X.S.E. #1)
Meet the Fanatix! (Bishop: X.S.E. #1)
In retrospect, I really should have made more Chris Durang-related jokes in this episode. (If you know, you know.) (Bishop: X.S.E. #1)
THAT’S NO BISHOP! (Bishop: X.S.E. #2)
Uncool, Bishop. Uncool. (Bishop: X.S.E. #2)
A “disguise.” (Bishop: X.S.E. #3)
Running across the panel tops. (Bishop: X.S.E. #3)
Dang uncanny children. (Bishop: X.S.E. #3)
NEXT EPISODE: Generation X gets really, really, really weird.

As Mentioned in Episode 407 – Freshening Up

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(He is not in fact here to help.) (X-Factor #138)
Heh. Omega Red, man. (X-Factor #138)
The most threatening destroyed football you’ll see today. (X-Factor #138)
THAT IS AN EXCELLENT QUESTION. (X-Factor #138)
(Spoiler: That’s Mystique.) (X-Factor #138)
A delightful cover. (X-Factor #139)
This whole sequence is so good. (X-Factor #139)
Ever is weird, and I say that with all respect and admiration! (X-Factor #139)
Dark Beast DEFINITELY has multiple candy-colored iMacs. (X-Factor #139)
Mystique: once again mother of the year. (X-Factor #139)
The preceding page literally had a Slaughterhouse Five reference, and I’m kind of annoyed about it. (X-Factor #140)
Fixx, Greystone, and Archer. (X-Factor #140)
A guy who is probably not Cable. (He’s not; he’s an alternate-future Forge.) (X-Factor #140)
Batman. (X-Factor #140)
There are actually *multiple* people huffing frogs, if you look closely. (X-Factor #141)
SERIOUSLY WHY WOULD YOU EVER TRUST THIS MAN (X-Factor #141)
THE PLOT THICKENS (X-Factor #141)
NEXT EPISODE: Bishop: X.S.E.!

LINKS & FURTHER TIME SINKS

As Mentioned in Episode 406 – The Most Dangerous Mini-Game

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So, that’s where he got it! (Wolverine #-1)
I love this design for Sabretooth. (Wolverine #-1)
And also his car. (Wolverine #-1)
Literally nothing is okay at the Blanding/Masters house. (X-Factor #-1)
Mister Sinister lurks in the bushes. (X-Factor #-1)
They’re AT LEAST in their early 20s. (X-Factor #-1)
DAMN, Haley! (X-Factor #-1)
The most dangerous mini-game. (X-Factor #-1)
Alex Summers in a nutshell. (X-Factor #-1)
Wellp, you did that. (X-Force #-1)
I swear I thought this thing was gonna be a red herring. (X-Force #-1)
Everything cute about this issue is also really sad. (X-Force #-1)
How Thunderbird got his code name. (X-Force #-1)
Don’t worry, Tabby; soon you’ll be stealing with the best of ’em! (X-Force #-1)
The Circus of Cameos. (X-Force #-1)
In which John Produstar straight-up wrassles a tiger. (X-Force #-1)
“We also do a lot of crimes, but they’re pretty low-key as comic-book circus crimes go.” (X-Force #-1)
Ugh, this guy. (X-Force #-1)
Naked in Space: The Charles Francis Xavier Story. (X-Men #-1)
Magneto, a sensible fellow, wears clothes in the vacuum of space. (X-Men #-1)
IT NEVER STOPS BEING FUNNY (X-Men #-1)
DRAMATIC! JUXTAPOSITION! (X-Men #-1)
NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor hits rock-bottom, again.

LINKS & FURTHER READING

As Mentioned in Episode 405 – Morally Purple

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So, that’s a thing. (Cable #-1)
Honestly, I kinda wish Cable had sported this look for longer. (Cable #-1)
THE BOW TIE (Cable #-1)
Cable’s future may be kind of dystopian, but it’s also rad as hell. (Cable #-1)
Damn, bro. (Cable #-1)
On one hand, yes, he’s very dashing. On the other hand, they are definitely foster siblings. (Excalibur #-1)
Hey, we know that guy! (Excalibur #-1)
This is Sabu. Don’t get attached. (Excalibur #-1)
Harry Leland knows how to dress to impress. (Generation X #-1)
I know it’s a byproduct of the foreshortening plus slightly murky colors, but from at least one angle, it looks like Hank has a human-skin rug. (Generation X #-1)
And then they never talked to or mentioned each other again. (Generation X #-1)
Rachel’s cloak is SO GOOD. (Uncanny X-Men #-1)
this genocidal disco motherfucker (Uncanny X-Men #-1)
Tanya, NO. (Uncanny X-Men #-1)
NEXT EPISODE: More flashbacks!

LINKS & FURTHER BACKSTORY

As Mentioned in Episode 404 – Marvel UK, Yes?

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And now for something completely different. (Death’s Head II #1)
Death’s Head I, complete with tiny horns and giant tusks! (Death’s Head II #1)
Meet Minion and his terrifying… everything. (Death’s Head II #1)
Dr. Evelyn Necker, wearing more clothing than we’ll ever see her in again. (Death’s Head II #1)
An online meeting in the year 2020? Yeah, that sounds about right. (Death’s Head II #1)
The death of Death’s Head. (Death’s Head II #1)
It’s the feel-good romantic comedy of the year! (Death’s Head II #2)
Ben Grimm, you are a treasure. (Death’s Head II #2)
Stretch and the Tomato, coming to a theater near you! (Death’s Head II #2)
It’s no Last Stand at Gjallerbru, but I love it. (Death’s Head II #2)
“I believe you mean SMEK, Madam!” (Death’s Head II #2)
And now for something completely completely different. (Death’s Head II #3)
My favorite thing about this is all of the things. (Death’s Head II #3)
Meet Tuck. (Death’s Head II #3)
Ewwwwww (Death’s Head II #3)
Okay, it’s a den of horribleness, but damn if this place doesn’t look cool. (Death’s Head II #3)
I… I love this comic so much. (Death’s Head II #3)
Our heroes. (Death’s Head II #3)
YIKES (Death’s Head II #3)
You predicted screaming green melted skeletons..? (Death’s Head II #3)
The last of the Avengers, part 1. They’re all going to die. (Death’s Head II #4)
The last of the Avengers, part 2. They’re also all going to die. (Death’s Head II #4)
Hot Topic, Claire’s, or Orange Julius first? (Death’s Head II #4)
Charnel mark 1. (Death’s Head II #4)
Charnel mark 2. (Death’s Head II #4)
Now that’s how you end a fight. (Death’s Head II #4)
It’s a mad, mad, mad, mad Marvel UK. (Death’s Head II #4)
NEXT TIME: Flashback! And Jay’s back!

As Mentioned in Episode 402 – What the Damn?!

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Shadowcat, Douglock, and… Hard-Boiled Harry?! (Excalibur #114)
Sari St. Hubbins, Fashion Plate: Part 1. (Excalibur #114)
Colossus would have bought a hat too, but then where would he keep all that hair? (Excalibur #114)
Captain Mustache, Part the First. (Excalibur #114)
I’m a firestarter, twisted firestarter (Excalibur #114)
Katherine Pryde, experienced superhero. (Excalibur #114)
Sari St. Hubbins, Fashion Plate: Part 2. (Excalibur #114)
Captain Mustache, Part the Second. (Excalibur #115)
Banshee is so muscly! And his cape is so foldy! (Excalibur #115)
Mel Rubi’s Douglock. (Excalibur #115)
Miles’s average day in IT looks pretty much like this. (Excalibur #115)
“Plus some Externals, but… I don’t think any of us really want to spent the time to talk about them.” (Excalibur #115)
He is so sweet. (Excalibur #115)
“Freakin’ last boss of Ninja Gaiden sends me all the way back to the beginning of the level even when I still have lives left..!” (Excalibur #115)
When Meggan’s happy, I’m happy. (Excalibur #115)
Aww jeez you two (Excalibur #115)
It’s been an honor, Shepherd. (Excalibur #115)
Check out that sweet shadow-invisible hand! (Excalibur #116)
Mel Rubi does Paul Smith. (Excalibur #116)
Where did that costume end up? You should break it out again, Captain Kate! (Excalibur #116)
So that mutagenic agent made the Sidri… swole? (Excalibur #116)
“It’s-a-me, Stereotype!” (Excalibur #116)
Pete Wisdom in: Terminator 2. (Excalibur #116)
Triple-wielding! (Excalibur #116)
Additional swordplay – this time, in callback form! (Excalibur #116)
They pulled his collectivism out through his belly button..? (Excalibur #116)
Hey, that’s not what Kitty wears in her SHIELD miniseries! Kinda wish it was, though. (Excalibur #116)
NEXT EPISODE: Kitty Pryde goes to work for The Man