Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

470 – Large Adult Men

In which Cable may or may not have been a spokesperson for AT&T; it’s impossible to draw a CD dramatically; Wolverine gets his adamantium back; Apocalypse says the thing; and we probably can’t keep putting off The Twelve forever.

X-PLAINED:

  • One way to dispose of a corpse
  • Cable #73-74
  • Wolverine #145
  • Cable (more) (again)
  • Poor font choice
  • Sarcophagus nipples
  • Caliban (more) (again)
  • Impromptu tailoring
  • A cliched vignette
  • People talking on couches
  • A compact disc
  • Unpleasant reunions
  • An impressive outfit
  • Prior generations of horsemen of Apocalypse
  • Wolverine (more) (again)
  • How Wolverine ended up a horseman of Apocalypse
  • Apocalypse’s aesthetic
  • Wolverine vs. Hulk (yet again)
  • Which version of Magik was on Krakoa
  • An X-Men pitch in the style of Spidey and his Amazing Friends

NEXT EPISODE: The Twelve begins!


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469 – Killed by Death

In which the Shattering officially concludes; you can’t swoop over the phone; toddlers are engines of pure chaos; the X-Men do some processing; and we are mildly scandalized by the absence of footnotes.

X-PLAINED:

  • Rama-Tut
  • Evan Sabahnur
  • Uncanny X-Men #375
  • X-Men #95
  • X-Men Unlimited #25
  • Skrull problems
  • One very upsetting way to identify a traitor
  • Skrullverine
  • Fiz and Jaq
  • The Ally
  • A ruse
  • Death’s mask
  • A dramatic revelation
  • Processing
  • The unrealized potential of Spirit Halloween
  • Wolverine memories
  • Rogue’s temporary tattoos
  • Yet another time loop

NEXT EPISODE: We segue into solo series!


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468 – Sasquatch Road Trip

In which St. Croix History reminds us of a Martian with a big butt; Penance’s escape is ambiguous; Avengers Academy Infinity Comic successfully reinvents Emplate; you should not learn to flirt from Vanilla Ice; Jubilee fires two fireworks blasts into the air whilst going aaahhh; and we go in through the ears.

X-PLAINED:

  • Apocalypse’s influence
  • The Big House (about which we are confused)
  • Generation X #58
  • Cartier and/or Louis St. Croix
  • Our college’s Dean, naked jogger
  • Things that are sharp in the woods
  • HUMP
  • Penance (Hollow)
  • Emplate, spoiled teenager
  • Generation X Annual 1999
  • Epistolary fonts
  • Jubilee’s pre-X past
  • Round Wolverine
  • Hunter Brawn (again, sigh)
  • Recognizing random dudes from pictures
  • Dad Things and Dad Pipes
  • Juggernaut and Black Tom as a relationship model
  • Jubilee, competent veteran
  • A murder mystery
  • Legault, cosplaying bodyguard
  • Taking notes on comics
  • Magneto’s telepathy-blocking (or not) helmet

NEXT EPISODE: Wolverine’s dead! And Wolverine’s back!


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467 – Disorganizing Principle

In which Nightcrawler has a type; the Hill is a bad place to raise your kids up; Colossus introduces Marrow to art; we come out against autotrepanation; Mikhail Rasputin never learns; Destiny leaves clues from beyond the grave; and The Twelve looms.

X-PLAINED:

  • That one universe where Mystique raised Nightcrawler in an attic
  • An event in name only
  • Some shit that went down a while ago
  • The Hill (more) (again)
  • Uncanny X-Men #373-374
  • X-Men #93-94
  • Marrow as a child soldier
  • Rural Boston
  • Some asshole
  • Mikhail Rasputin (more) (again)
  • How to prove that you’re a god
  • The souls of furniture and some other things
  • The green psychic entity who’s been secretly controlling Mikhail Rasputin, I guess?
  • Ninja problems
  • B. Byron Biggs
  • Ronnie Lake
  • A Conspiracy
  • How Rogue and Destiny met
  • Compulsory heterosexuality
  • Destiny’s diaries
  • Prognostication vs. agenda-setting
  • Skrullverine’s power mimicry
  • How the Mannites could’ve been used in the Krakoan era

NEXT EPISODE: Secrets of Jubilee’s past!


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466 – A Rogue’s Tale, feat. Lenore Zann

In which Lenore Zann joins us to talk Rogue, Canadian politics, and her upcoming memoir!

Lenore’s memoir, A Rogue’s Tale, will be out November 1! You can preorder it here.


 

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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465 – Right in the Fabric

In which “Astonishing X-Men” is something of a misnomer; Death has a good look; sometimes you just need a guy who swoops; Miles stops worrying and learns to love Nate Grey; Telekinesis is silly looking; “Wolverine” dies; and nothing really changes.

X-PLAINED:

  • Astonishing X-Men (miniseries)
  • Ambience
  • Nina (again)
  • Mannites (again)
  • The third-best way to get out of awkward conversations
  • The Hulkbuster base
  • Bastion (again)
  • Bastion’s worst nightmare
  • Death (a new one)
  • Fiddly bits
  • Cable’s Psimitar
  • Telekinetic snowboarding
  • Headcase
  • Darco
  • Glub
  • Beautiful Dreamer
  • Grace
  • Totem
  • Things to do with a severed head
  • The Changing
  • The (apparent) death of Wolverine
  • How to salvage this miniseries
  • Hypothetical X-crossovers

NEXT EPISODE: Lenore Zann joins us to talk all things Rogue!


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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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464 – The Cigarettes of Damocles

In which X-Force is kind of silly; that really isn’t what “quantum” means; polite and lawful are two entirely different things, and Sam Guthrie is only one of them; Selene vogues; and the Hellfire Club plays the dead girlfriend card.

X-PLAINED:

  • Blackheart
  • The Damocles Foundation (more) (again)
  • Lucas Bartholomew Guthrie
  • The difference between prisons and jails
  • X-Force #98-98
  • Whether Dr. Octopus enjoys the literary stylings of Elmore Leonard
  • One way to get out of prison
  • The Glitterbox
  • An unsuccessful heist
  • Celestial cigarettes and/or golems
  • Thomas and/or Tyler Zebulon and/or Zeke Guthrie
  • Demon Bears as urban pests
  • Selene, Always Voguing
  • Gatherers
  • Various evil scientists
  • The Sword
  • Junkyard life
  • Lenny Delmonico
  • Psychic rodeos
  • Nightmare chambers
  • Bat sex
  • An offer Sunspot can’t refuse
  • Hank McCoy’s villain arc
  • New Mutant superlatives

NEXT EPISODE: Astonishing X-Men!


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463 – The Fart Ghost That Walks Like a Manhattan

In which Gambit is fundamentally goofy; t’ieves love research; Magneto was ripped; Professor Xavier remains a jerk; Miles attempts to convey something very fundamentally visual in an audio format; Marrow is adorable; the X-Men pretty much disband (again); and a miniseries is the opposite of a vacation.

X-PLAINED:

  • Where Wolverine went
  • Gambit Annual 1999
  • Uncanny X-Men #372
  • X-Men #92
  • A lot of backstory
  • A very cute plastic goose
  • What Gambit does in his free time
  • Those weird fluid-filled tubes they put people in all the time for some reason
  • Gambit’s abs
  • The fart ghost (Mary Purcell)
  • Manhattan, Indiana
  • A very minor continuity error
  • Fart ghost metaphysics
  • A very bad idea
  • A muppetworthy death
  • Dream’s various ends
  • X-pajamas
  • Professional dinosaurs
  • Thinkers
  • Theoretical Cyclops-Daredevil team-ups
  • X-characters recognizable as civilians

NEXT EPISODE: The return of the Damocles Foundation!


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462 – Angst and Continuity

In which the 1990s were very long; if you die in the simulation, you die in real life; Adrienne Frost is a bad person with good clothes; we judge the number 57; things just keep happening; and Penance somehow gets even more complicated.

X-PLAINED:

  • Bevatron
  • Generation X #55-57
  • The Hellions and their untimely demise (again)
  • Uncanny X-Men #281
  • A continuity conundrum
  • Many allusions and references
  • Cognitive dissonance
  • Dancing between the raindrops of continuity
  • Resolution
  • Emma Frost, triumphant
  • Fashion
  • Emplate (more) (again)
  • Propeller beanies
  • Feelings
  • Explosions
  • One way to solve a problem
  • Whether you should read Dazzler: The Movie
  • The worst possible power swaps

NEXT EPISODE: The secret origins of Gambit’s fart ghost girlfriend!


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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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461 – Things to Do in Denver When You’re X-Force

In which Magneto may be right but is also wildly impractical; X-Force goes on a sneaking mission; Magneto isn’t mad, he’s just disappointed; Rictor and Shatterstar return; Strong is not a common surname in the Marvel universe; and being a mutant on TV doesn’t mean you’re one in the comics.

X-PLAINED:

  • How Jubilee became a vampire
  • The most X-treme youth of them all
  • X-Force 94-95
  • X-Force Annual 1999
  • Genosha
  • Butler disambiguation
  • Clown jobs
  • A team-up predicated on an awkward breakup
  • Hammer Town
  • Delphi
  • Memory boxes
  • Several potential continuity error
  • Names
  • Genoshan robots
  • Archie
  • A hierarchy of potential fates
  • Vershiagen Industries and/or Vershlagen Industries
  • V2
  • Hanrancha
  • Stronghold
  • Martin Strong
  • Freddie
  • Michelle Balters (Neurotap) (more) (again)
  • Communication with X-teams
  • A sudden and depressing resolution
  • Continuity across media
  • Why Gambit doesn’t (usually) throw tarot cards

NEXT EPISODE: The Return of the Hellions (kinda)

The visual companion to this episode will be up later this week!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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