clones – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 324 – Snack Attack

February 28, 2021 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

So, yeah, there’s a lot going on. (Generation X Annual 1995)

Not who they appear to be, which honestly doesn’t even really matter in context. (Generation X Annual 1995)

His sovereignty over the Hellfire Club is dubious, but he’s definitely the king of shade. (Generation X Annual 1995)

Ouch. (Generation X Annual 1995)

Wait, what? (Generation X Annual 1995)

I still can’t tell if this is him not knowing she kidnapped him or telling her that it’s fine that she did… (Generation X Annual 1995)

Well, that’s some Silent Hill-inflected creepiness. (Generation X Annual 1995)

This party is an odd mix of formality levels. (Generation X #10)

Look, it happens to all of us eventually. (Generation X #10)

We would read the HELL out of a series about Banshee’s Interpol adventures. (Generation X #10)

OH HEY WE KNOW THAT DUDE (Generation X #10)

They are a genuinely fun pair. (Generation X #10)

NEXT EPISODE: MOTHERFUCKIN’ GHOST PIRATES!

324 – Snack Attack

February 21, 2021 Jay 18 comments

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In which Cordelia Frost is a terrible friend; Mondo is better than the story arcs that surround him; and we’d really love to see a series about Sean Cassidy’s super groovy past.

X-PLAINED:

The one who got away
Generation X Annual 1995
Generation X #10-11
A failed seduction attempt
Mondo and a plant-based facsimile thereof
An emergency
The very personal and private journal of Monet St. Croix
A party
Omega Red (again)
Sean Cassidy’s Interpol days
An unlikely informant
A somewhat surreal monitoring system
The Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men Wiki

NEXT EPISODE: GHOST PIRATES!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 322 – Do More Crimes

February 6, 2021 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Never let Gambit take you anywhere. (X-Men #46)

Jean, seriously, do you have any idea how old your niece and nephew are? (X-Men #46)

Bobby, no. (X-Men #46)

We have X-Babies. This is not a drill. (X-Men #46)

Charming, ain’t they? (X-Men #46)

Wait… who?! (X-Men #46)

HI, DAZZLER! (X-Men #47)

This whole issue feels kind of like a Western, helped along by this incredibly classic framing. (Uncanny X-Men #327)

“Okay, but also, your face is melting.” (Uncanny X-Men #327)

OH SNAP denied (Uncanny X-Men #327)

This is legitimately adorable. (Uncanny X-Men #327)

“Y’know… stuff.” (Uncanny X-Men #327)

NEXT WEEK: Hawk talk!

NEXT EPISODE: SOMEHOW, EVEN MORE X-BABIES!

LINKS & FURTHER MISDIRECTION:

True Believer: The Rise and Fall of Stan Lee, by Abraham Riesman, will be out February 16!

322 – Do More Crimes

January 31, 2021 Jay 18 comments

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In which the X-Babies fail to charm; clones are people, too; Iceman doesn’t (quite) come out; Gambit and Bishop bond; Joseph comes into ambiguous being; and Principal Nezu and Charles Xavier would probably get along okay.

X-PLAINED:

Inconsistent quality
X-Men #46-47
Uncanny X-Men #327
The X-Babies (more) (again)
Sfogliatelle
Gog
Gog’n’Magog
Politics of the Mojoverse
Personhood of constructed entities
What makes an X-Babies story work
Jay’s favorite episodes of The Muppet Show
Age-appropriate literature
Fictional books
Fun with Bishop
Several restaurants
Hypothetical casting
What Magneto’s been up to
Joseph
Sister Maria
Why Magneto gets de-aged a lot
Amnesia
Various orphans and individuals affiliated therewith
How to keep up with upcoming X-titles
A cross-media friendship
True Believer: The Rise and Fall of Stan Lee

NEXT EPISODE: HAWK TALK

THE ONE AFTER THAT: MORE X-BABIES SO MANY X-BABIES

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 265 – Rude Awakenings

September 22, 2019 Jay 2 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Is anyone else weirded out by the fact that that’s supposed to be Forge in the lower right-hand corner? (X-Men Annual #5)

The Shi’ar sext WEIRD. (X-Men Annual #5)

Professor X was definitely naked, right? (X-Men Annual #5)

The weirdest thing about this panel is that the tractor beam seems to have shrunk her shirt by about half. (X-Men Annual #5)

Professor X X-Plains human-Shi’ar relations. (X-Men Annual #5)

FASHION! (X-Men Annual #5)

Imagine how confusing it must be to run into Jubilee on alien planets. (X-Men Annual #5)

I DID NOT NOTICE THE HANGING TEDDY BEAR UNTIL I CLIPPED THE PANEL FOR THIS VISUAL COMPANION. (X-Men Annual #5)

He’s a hugger. (X-Men Annual #5)

Be fair, Gambit: there are a LOT of reasons Cyclops is never fun at parties. (X-Men #34)

BUT WHO IS LURKING IN THE FOREGROUND? (X-Men #34)

Sinister, moisturize your damn clones. (X-Men #34)

Oh, hey, Threnody! (X-Men #34)

‘Kay. (X-Men #34)

Ewwwwwwww. (X-Men #34)

Please bear in mind that these are costumes S.H.I.E.L.D. just happened to have lying around the Helicarrier. (X-Men #35)

“Also, do you know how hard it was to dress you in skintight neoprene while you were unconscious?” (X-Men #35)

The end of the world looks pretty rad. (X-Men #35)

Some artists definitely made some choices. (X-Men #35)

That’s our Cyclops. (X-Men #35)

Some of the layouts in this issue are really nice. (X-Men #35)

Sunset Grace X-Plains Sunset Grace (and marries Ronald Reagan). (X-Men #35)

Ouch. (X-Men #35)

NEXT EPISODE: Malice!

FURTHER LISTENING

We covered The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix in Episode 229 – Giant-Size Special #7!

265 – Rude Awakenings

September 22, 2019 Jay 20 comments

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In which Glen Danzig was the most popular Wolverine fancast for a weirdly long time; breasts have physical mass; the Shi’ar empire is not your friend; Deathbird should not be left in charge of anything alive; Jubilee learns about privilege; Sinister is not subtle; plasma is the new magnetism; Scott and Jean return from the future; and Nick Fury probably sews his name into the waistband of all his underpants.

X-PLAINED:

Some guy from Earth-1610
X-Men: Unlimited #5
X-Men #34-35
Shi’ar sexting
A rude awakening (literal)
Rococo Stryfe
Some uncomfortable fashion choices
X-pajamas
Definitely nude Charles Xavier
Breasts
Shi’ar imperial bullshit
A very impressive headdress
Reality TV… in space!
A rude awakening (metaphorical)
Shi’ar childhood
Negotiation
A total dick move
Another total dick move
Beast’s brief tenure as field leader of the X-Men
The return of Threnody
The titles of several sex tapes
High-tech spelunking
Sinister’s secret DNA library
Controversial outfits
Nick Fury’s stuff
Sunset Grace
The racism inherent to Evan Sabahnur’s background
A question we’ve answered before and will probably answer again

NEXT EPISODE: Malice!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 171 – Badly Punctuated Equilibrium

November 12, 2017 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! https://xplainthexmen.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/X170.mp3

Domestic bliss, X-Factor-style. (X-Factor Forever #1)

Aw, this guy. (X-Factor Forever #1)

Timmy’s grandmother has good judgment. (X-Factor Forever #1)

“Hey, kids! Have some flechettes!” (X-Factor Forever #1)

Dang. Good job, Hank. (X-Factor Forever #1)

“I did, however, find myself some sweet new glasses.” (X-Factor Forever #1)

Every drawing of Apocalypse’s face in this series is utterly delightful. (X-Factor Forever #2)

When writers no-prize the art… (X-Factor Forever #2)

DAMNIT, TIMMY. (X-Factor Forever #2)

Happy birthday, Timmy, I guess? (X-Factor Forever #2)

Well, THAT can’t be good. (X-Factor Forever #3)

This series makes a fairly good case for both mutant rights and subsidized childcare. (X-Factor Forever #3)

How you know it’s serious business. (X-Factor Forever #3)

I love that they have named and numbered all of their special moves. (X-Factor Forever #3)

“Dude, we are literally holding up one of those children, right here, in front of you.” (X-Factor Forever #3)

Well, shit. (X-Factor Forever #3)

Aw, man, this cover is so fun. (X-Factor Forever #4)

If only your boss listened to Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men. (X-Factor Forever #4)

X-Factor, doing what they do best! (X-Factor Forever #4)

BUT WHY ARE THEY ALL DRESSED UP? (X-Factor Forever #4)

Can we all just take a moment to enjoy Sinister’s deeply goofy face in this panel? (X-Factor Forever #4)

“Who’s on first,” Summers family edition. (X-Factor Forever #4)

Seriously, it’s a great reaction image. (X-Factor Forever #4)

Pretty much any variation on this panel will always get me straight in the feels. (X-Factor Forever #4)

“I dunno. What if we just, like, lob a baby at him?” (X-Factor Forever #5)

I just really like this panel. (X-Factor Forever #5)

“You didn’t tell me this was a VACATION,” said Cyclops. (X-Factor Forever #5)

NEXT EPISODE: The Muir Island Saga, and the secret origins of this nonsense!

As Mentioned in Episode 109 – The Passion of Madelyne Pryor

May 15, 2016 Jay 9 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

It’s the whole gang! Kind of! And some of them are evil! BUT STILL! (Uncanny X-Men #242)

No, it’s not. (Uncanny X-Men #242)

SEE? (Uncanny X-Men #242)

Only one of many reasons that enthusiastic consent is important. (Uncanny X-Men #242)

Iceman is so underrated. Dude’s the heart and conscience of the original five. (Uncanny X-Men #242)

WELL, THEN. (Uncanny X-Men #242)

N’astirh may be evil, but he has impeccable taste in infernal vehicles. (Uncanny X-Men #242)

That’s the cold wind of metaphor, Alex. (Uncanny X-Men #242)

Madelyne Pryor knows from genre conventions. (Uncanny X-Men #242)

Aw, man. These two. (Uncanny X-Men #242)

Inferno’s a pretty dark crossover, but it has some really damn delightful moments. (Uncanny X-Men #242)

Love N’astirh’s face in that first panel. (Uncanny X-Men #242)

No one draws a possessed skyline like Silvestri. (Uncanny X-Men #242)

SUCKERS. You’ve still got three issues left! (Uncanny X-Men #242)

I’m genuinely curious as to whether this splash page started out as a cover design. (Uncanny X-Men #242)

“We’ll laugh about this later.” (X-Factor #38)

THAT SOUND EFFECT! (X-Factor #38)

Madelyne Pryor is the best at villain speeches. (X-Factor #38)

This panel is awesome, which is probably why there are going to be a lot of callbacks to it. (X-Factor #38)

This sequence is kind of a great encapsulation of a lot of Scott and Alex’s relationship. (X-Factor #38)

Jean’s rocky and reluctant alliance with the Phoenix force makes each of them a good deal more interesting. (X-Factor #38)

The most important relationship–and scenes–in Inferno are between Jean and Madelyne. I really wish we’d gotten more of the two of them together. (X-Factor #38)

“We’ll need to harness the power of all of our best sound effects!” (X-Factor #38)

Perfect panel is perfect. (X-Factor #38)

On one hand: this is all kind of Scott’s fault. On the other hand: it’s hard not to feel bad for him. (X-Factor #38)

Inferno: In which everyone is wrong and everyone is sympathetic. (X-Factor #38)

OH, YEAH! (Uncanny X-Men #243)

X-Factor will continue to play with this idea to some extent, but it’ll fade away pretty fast, and that’s a damn shame. (Uncanny X-Men #242)

Ditto, this. (Uncanny X-Men #242)

Jean, Madelyne, or Phoenix; her story at its best will always be about self-determination. (Uncanny X-Men #242)

Valid. (Uncanny X-Men #242)

Pawing through the X-Men’s stuff is one of the less invasive things Sinister has done in this arc, but there’s something extra creepy about it. (Uncanny X-Men #242)

Walter Simonson’s ability to make Longshot’s hair look good is the eight wonder of the world. (X-Factor #39)

Scott Summers’ Life Is An Actual Anxiety Dream, chapter infinity. (X-Factor #39)

Oh, hey, it’s the rest of Cyclops’s backstory! (X-Factor #39)

Does Nebraska even have a Department of Social Services? (X-Factor #39)

I just really love this page. (X-Factor #39)

This panel might have the highest appearance-to-reality-of-finality ratio in comics. (X-Factor #39)

And they all lived happily ever after. (X-Factor #39)

NEXT WEEK: Apocalypse for Beginners!

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING

For our Inferno coverage, we’re working (somewhat loosely) from the reading order mapped out at UncannyXMen.net.
We’ll be bringing you up to speed on both the cinematic X-Men and Apocalypse’s comics background in episode 110, but if you want to brush up this week, you can do that here:

109 – The Passion of Madelyne Pryor

May 15, 2016 Jay 21 comments

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In which you should not presume to judge Madelyne Pryor by your standards; we wrap up the core plot of Inferno (but still somehow have two episodes left to go); sympathetic is not the same thing as right; Storm and Jean use friendship and it’s super effective; Iceman is basically incorruptible; Angel gets a new codename; Cyclops gets a backstory; Sinister is aptly named; and Inferno makes retcons into retconade.

X-PLAINED:

Limbo vs. Limbo
Hel vs. Hell
Uncanny X-Men #242-243
X-Factor #38-39
A moment that does not speak eloquently for itself
Several extended misunderstandings
The difference between sympathetic and right
N’astirh’s sweet ride
A false binary
The Goblin Prince
Yet another reason Havok should have finished his dissertation
The power of friendship
The Rube Goldberg approach to combat
Superconductivity, kind of
Our least favorite retcon in Inferno
The Summers brothers summed up in a single scene
Clone ethics
Why we like it when characters screw up
Our favorite retcons
How to prep for X-Men: Apocalypse

NEXT WEEK: Apocalypse for Beginners

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 108 – What Price Glory

May 8, 2016 Jay 15 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

Perfect cover is perfect. (Uncanny X-Men #239)

Hey, kids! Can you count the OSHA violations on this page? (Uncanny X-Men #239)

Does it get more Mr. Sinister than sitting on a giant crystal throne playing with X-Men action figures and expositing dramatically to himself? No. No, it does not. (Uncanny X-Men #239)

This moment is so good, and so chilling. (Uncanny X-Men #239)

Sometimes you eat the bar, and sometimes the bar eats you. (Uncanny X-Men #239)

ABORT ABORT BAD IDEA ABORT (Uncanny X-Men #239)

“Also, apparently they were really into Pinterest.” (Uncanny X-Men #239)

I am pretty sure I have seen this exact image on the front cover of at least one VHS tape. (Uncanny X-Men #239)

Here’s every panel of Madelyne’s black dress, in order. (Uncanny X-Men #240)

Hi, M-Squad. Bye, M-Squad. (Uncanny X-Men #240)

This whole scene is so exquisitely unsettling. (Uncanny X-Men #240)

Rogue, that is… quite an outfit. (Uncanny X-Men #240)

Meanwhile, in a completely different comic book. (Uncanny X-Men #240)

“Mr. Weatherbee didn’t really go into the details of this exchange program.” (Uncanny X-Men #240)

I don’t know why I find Scrambler so endlessly hilarious, but, GOD, I do. (Uncanny X-Men #240)

Silvestri doesn’t get to do nearly as much as Blevins or Simonson with possessed objects; but he’ll make up for it with the amazing demonic cityscapes in #242. (Uncanny X-Men #241)

Close Encounters with the Fourth Wall, Colossus Edition. (Nah, they’re clones. BUT STILL.) (Uncanny X-Men #241)

I swear this police-car demon is a reference to SOMETHING, but I can’t for the life of me remember what. (Uncanny X-Men #241)

“Fuck this. I’m gonna go hang out in New Mutants.” (Uncanny X-Men #241)

This cannot POSSIBLY end well. (Uncanny X-Men #241)

“Also, I liked that scene way more when Paul Smith drew it.” (Uncanny X-Men #240)

The Greys really never catch a break. (Uncanny X-Men #240)

Nebraska: Definitely the worst state. (Uncanny X-Men #240)

And you thought your family holidays were awkward. (Uncanny X-Men #241)

Oh, damn. (Uncanny X-Men #241)

There’s at least one alternate universe in which Mister Sinister founded the X-men; but the only detail I remember is that their costumes are WAY fancier. (Uncanny X-Men #241)

This detail makes Madelyne’s story infinitely sadder. (Uncanny X-Men #241)

In which Mister Sinister effectively seals the fate of the world. (Uncanny X-Men #241)

That’s. My. Girl. (Uncanny X-Men #241)

Oh, snap. (Uncanny X-Men #241)

And then a hot dog stand ate Calvin and Hobbes. (X-Factor #36)

Awwww. (X-Factor #36)

Cool scene; dumb hats. (X-Factor #36)

In a just world, every time you looked at this panel, heroic music would start playing. (X-Factor #36)

Let’s all just take a moment to admire the composition of this splash page. (X-Factor #37)

These panels were fine in context of the page, but then I cropped them, and now all I can think of is that one really unsettling video of a sloth petting a cat. (X-Factor #37)

“Okay, but that’s gonna be really awkward at the bank.” (X-Factor #37)

Wait, what? (X-Factor #37)

“Also, you literally just teleported.” (X-Factor #37)

NEXT WEEK: The Passion of Madelyne Pryor

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

For our Inferno coverage, we’re working (somewhat loosely) from the reading order mapped out at UncannyXMen.net.
Jay is the worst at Valentine’s Day.
The amazing BelleChere cosplays a phenomenal page-accurate Goblin Queen, sometimes alongside either Rule-63 or original-flavor Sinister! (Madelyne is only one of a ton of really terrific X-Men cosplay BelleChere has done over the years; we highly recommend clicking through her galleries to see the rest!)
Amanda Lafrenais draws awesome comics and has rats named after soup! (Link may not be work-safe–contains some cartoon nudity.)

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