In which Glen Danzig was the most popular Wolverine fancast for a weirdly long time; breasts have physical mass; the Shi’ar empire is not your friend; Deathbird should not be left in charge of anything alive; Jubilee learns about privilege; Sinister is not subtle; plasma is the new magnetism; Scott and Jean return from the future; and Nick Fury probably sews his name into the waistband of all his underpants.
- Some guy from Earth-1610
- X-Men: Unlimited #5
- X-Men #34-35
- Shi’ar sexting
- A rude awakening (literal)
- Rococo Stryfe
- Some uncomfortable fashion choices
- Definitely nude Charles Xavier
- Shi’ar imperial bullshit
- A very impressive headdress
- Reality TV… in space!
- A rude awakening (metaphorical)
- Shi’ar childhood
- A total dick move
- Another total dick move
- Beast’s brief tenure as field leader of the X-Men
- The return of Threnody
- The titles of several sex tapes
- High-tech spelunking
- Sinister’s secret DNA library
- Controversial outfits
- Nick Fury’s stuff
- Sunset Grace
- The racism inherent to Evan Sabahnur’s background
- A question we’ve answered before and will probably answer again
NEXT EPISODE: Malice!
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Ever heard of something called “The Draco”?
No, not the blonde guy from Harry Potter. The “Draco” I’m talking about is an Uncanny X-Men arc where Chuck Austen retconned Nightcrawler’s origin story to involve a father from an ancient race of demon-looking mutants long exiled to a hell dimension by a bunch of quasi-angelic counterparts.1
The Draco is one of the worst arcs of Austen’s already fairly shaky 2 run; and generally considered to be one of the worst X-Men stories ever. It’s the continuity equivalent of awkward makeouts at your company Christmas party: everyone does their best to politely pretend that it never happened, and if anyone brings it up, everyone familiar with the story gets acutely embarrassed by proxy.
I am telling you about The Draco not because it has any relevance whatsoever to X-Men: Evolution–it doesn’t–but so that you will understand where the bar sits when I tell you that “Shadowed Past” is my least favorite take on Nightcrawler’s origin story.