In which nobody’s ages ever make sense; Sebastian Shaw catches up on villain speeches; nobody puts Louise Simonson in a corner; Tabitha Smith has a bad day; Gambit and Bat Manuel have a lot in common; and Warpath outruns Adam X.
X-PLAINED:
X-Force #49-51
Haircuts
The return off Sebastian Shaw
Stansfield
A series of kidnappings
Solar-powered superpowers
Attempted murder
Memories
Cable as an audience surrogate
Tabitha’s new codename
The first Tick live-action series
Warpath’s running speed
Risqué
What gravity sounds like
X-leisure activities
Magneto’s human name/s
NEXT EPISODE: A Tale of Two Beasts
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This is in fact an ENTIRELY REASONABLE position under the circumstances. (X-Men Prime #1)
Dennis is his own disparaging narrator. (X-Men Prime #1)
I don’t know why John Constantine is here to question Trish Tilby’s ethics, but SOMEONE needs to. (X-Men Prime #1)
Why is Val here? WHO KNOWS? (X-Men Prime #1)
Pretty sure this is supposed to be Onslaught, but it’s not going to be confirmed, so… (X-Men Prime #1)
“I repurposed all the brain parts that would normally go to fashion sense. On one hand, I can keep track of every team in play. On the other hand, this is how I dress myself.” (X-Men Prime #1)
Mondays, amirite? (X-Men Prime #1)
That’s… exactly what a chaperone is, though. (X-Men Prime #1)
GUYS SOMETIMES PEOPLE ARE JUST IN A HURRY (X-Men Prime #1)
Just wait ’til Age of X-Man. (X-Men Prime #1)
Emplate: still exceptionally creepy. (X-Men Prime #1)
nopenopenopenopenope (X-Men Prime #1)
I’ve seen at least three horror movies that basically start this way. (X-Men Prime #1)
NEXT EPISODE: The fall of Avalon, and some related situation comedy.
In which we enter our fourth century of podcasting with brand new theme music; we have both Wolverine questions and wolverine questions; it is extremely rough to be Bishop; the creator of Garfield may or may not live in a sewer on Earth-616; Rogue needs better coping mechanisms; bigotry is depressingly timeless; and everything is Onslaught now.
X-PLAINED:
Joseph’s Brotherhood of Evil Mutants
Our new theme music
X-Men Prime #1
A genuinely cool cover gimmick
What happened after the end of the world
Boundaries
War crimes vs. fashion crimes
Destruction of real landmarks in fiction
A mysterious assailant
Actual embodied chaos god Jim Davis and his Earth-616 namesake
Several memorable Garfield stories
Marrow (Sarah Rushman)
The secret origin of the Morlocks
A friendship we miss
Unhealthy coping mechanisms
The perennially dubious journalistic ethics of Trish Tilby
Dennis
The death of Dennis
Flaws of the mutant metaphor (more) (again)
Several refugees from Earth-295
Mr. Summers and Mr. Summers
The secret origin of the Genoshan mutates
The Acolytes
The continuing relevance of the mutant metaphor (more) (again)
Cross-universe characterization
NEXT EPISODE: The fall of Avalon!
NOTE: The Garfield strips Jay mentions appeared in newspapers, on purpose, in October 1989.
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which the Age of Apocalypse comes to an end; Angel briefly lives up to his potential; Bishop was sometimes right; It’s not a climactic ending without an X-Men #137 reference; Colossus breaks our hearts; X-Men: Marvels Snapshot will be out in September; and somehow we have made 300 of these things.
X-PLAINED:
Beast vs. Dark Beast
X-Men: Omega
The entirety of the (first) Age of Apocalypse
Potpourri vs. incense
Dramatic hair
Many, many errors
Unforeseen consequences
A long-anticipated team-up
Many deaths
Art as artifact
Narration that has haunted Jay for 20 years
One of the more persistent deaths of David Haller
Blast Attack
The end of a world
Refugees from the Age of Apocalypse
Our favorite X-milestone issues
Theoretical teams
Orphans
When X-Men: Marvels Snapshot is actually coming out
Our favorite show bits
How Jay’s chickens-in-law are doing
NEXT EPISODE: X-Men Prime
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which it’s kind of a relief to be talking about a fictional apocalypse right now; Joe Madureira defines the look of the mid-late 1990s; Sunfire is less cheesecake than crepes Suzette; it all comes back to capes; Wild Child is more than he seems; Holocaust sucks about as much as you’d expect of someone who picked that code name; Jay has surprisingly strong feelings about Morph; Miles is all about judging some babies; resistance is fundamental to the X-Men’s identity within a superhero-universe paradigm; nobody deserves to be quarantined with Quentin Quire; and our two-week lead is making proofing these podcasts an increasingly surreal experience.
X-PLAINED:
Several things Blink might have done but did not.
The status quo as of mid-March, 2020
Earth-295 (more) (again)
Astonishing X-Men #1-4
Our coverage of the core Age of Apocalypse series
Age of Apocalypse as proof of concept
The best character design of Earth-295
Some guy named Rex
A lake of blood which may or may not be figurative
Sabretooth’s last-ish stand
The revolutionary value of silliness
Jay’s favorite Orwell quote
The Infinite Processing Plant
DefCon Armageddon
A very cool fight scene
Catharsis
Mutants without the metaphor
Best and worst X-Men to be quarantined with
NEXT EPISODE: Weapon X!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
In which Magneto is a drama llama in any universe (but a remarkably decent parent in at least one); the soap opera hits the Age of Apocalypse; Weapon X is a man made of red flags; Gambit has an OT3; the better man wins; some blanks are better left unfilled; and we would probably not fare too well on Earth-295.
X-PLAINED:
The other Magnus
Synchronicity
Earth-295 (more) (again)
X-Men Chronicles #1-2
Selective backstory
Magneto’s hair
Wundagore Mountain
Aesthetics of the Age of Apocalypse
The X-Men of Earth-295
Magneto’s pedagogy
More miscellaneous horsemen
Weapon X (Logan)
Cape Citadel, revisited
The death of the Scarlet Witch
Disaster Bisexual Gambit
Wolverine (but not that one)
Punks who may or may not also be scrimshanders
Emotionally well-adjusted Quicksilver
Further miracles of magnetism
The narrative power of evocation
Age of Somebody Else
Jay and Miles of Earth-295
NEXT EPISODE: Summers Family Reunions somehow get even worse.
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
![[Cries in Dark Phoenix Saga] (X-Men: Omega)](https://i0.wp.com/www.xplainthexmen.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/5.jpg?w=296&h=296&crop=1&ssl=1 "5")
