Rogue – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

495 – The Goth

August 3, 2025 Jay 8 comments

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In which Rogue is beset with leadership; Psylocke’s telekinetic sword is narratively inconsistent; the Crimson Pirates are bad at their job; and you should not look to Frank Punisher as a role model.

X-PLAINED:

Whether Dani Moonstar is still a Valkyrie
X-Men #103-104
Uncanny X-Men #384-385
A crossover
Tessa (somewhat)
A test
The Goth (group)
Skulls
The Crimson Pirates
The mind of Tullamore Voge
Something “rough trade” does not mean
Visual representation of telepathy
Kymri (again)
The Goth (individual)
Skycycles
A ruse
How to get the X-Perts at a convention near you
What happened to the Massachusetts Academy

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men Forever

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As Mentioned in Episode 494 – You’ve Got Evil Mail

July 29, 2025 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Is Thunderbird cosplaying Colossus? (X-Men Unlimited #27)

Meet Neal Shaara! Or sometimes Neal Sharra, depending on who’s writing! (X-Men Unlimited #27)

In which Karima Shapandar literally jump-kicks her way into the issue. (See also the 1977 kung fu film The Invincible Armour.) (X-Men Unlimited #27)

And you haven’t even met Maggott yet! (X-Men Unlimited #27)

embarrassed_werewolf sounds like part of an auto-generated Reddit username. (X-Men Unlimited #27)

“Crap, instead of zapping them with the Robot Servant Ray, we zapped them with the Main Character Ray!” (X-Men Unlimited #27)

Aww, Sanjit. (X-Men Unlimited #27)

Hope you survive the experience! (X-Men Unlimited #27)

Check out Gambit’s sideways-Legion hair! And Beast’s Banshee disguise! (X-Men Unlimited #28)

Darkstar speaks for us all. (X-Men Unlimited #28)

This ain’t Beast’s first brainwashing rodeo. (X-Men Unlimited #28)

Listen, the Darkforce is just cool, okay? (X-Men Unlimited #28)

Dis not what Gambit had in mind. (X-Men Unlimited #28)

More like the Golden Death, really. (X-Men Unlimited #28)

Darkstar’s face is the same as Miles’s when he first discovered Cloud/Sephiroth slash almost 30 years ago. (X-Men Unlimited #28)

“No, my only weaknesses – rain and tasers!” (X-Men Unlimited #28)

Technology safety tip: if you get a suspicious email, blow up your computer! (X-Men Annual 2000)

Adorable downtime! (X-Men Annual 2000)

I love these goofballs so much. (X-Men Annual 2000)

Rogue learned a lot of things during her time with Magneto, like: if you have a problem, throw it into space. (X-Men Annual 2000)

The focused totality of her cutting your goddamn head off. (X-Men Annual 2000)

Everyone just looks really cool here. That’s the only significance. (X-Men Annual 2000)

GUN ARRRRRRMMMSSSSS (X-Men Annual 2000)

That’s some Claremont dialogue, alright (complimentary). (X-Men Annual 2000)

I guess that’s why Stryfe’s not too concerned with peripheral vision. Explains the helmet. (X-Men Annual 2000)

NEXT TIME: The Goth!

494 – You’ve Got Evil Mail

July 20, 2025 Jay 9 comments

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In which the X-Men zealously protect their trademarks; Cable can have as many moms as he wants to; not everyone should have to be a superhero; Lady Deathstrike knows how to handle unauthorized emails; and somehow there are still more gun arms.

X-PLAINED:

Lady Deathstrike
X-Men Unlimited #27-28
X-Men Annual 2000
One reason to recycle code names
Thunderbird III (Neal Shaara)
Sanjit Shaara and his electronic diary
Karima Shapandar
Bastion and the Prime Sentinels (again) (briefly)
Omega Prime Sentinels
Rebirth Island and what lurks there
Darkstar (Laynia Petrovna)
Unusual disturbances
Whether Gambit sleeps
The Black Death
Internet security training with Bastion
The genealogy of Nora Ephron romantic comedy You’ve Got Mail
Fashion
Stryfe (again) (briefly)
Psylocke’s telekinetic katana
Interactions between Madelyne Pryor and her large adult son
Spiral’s Body Shop

NEXT EPISODE: The Brotherhood targets Senator Kelly… again.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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493 – Now a Major Motion Picture

July 13, 2025 Jay 16 comments

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In which the first X-Men film turns 25 (and holds up remarkably well).

X-PLAINED:

A startling absence
The X-Men’s big-screen debut
An X-film that might have been
X-Men (2000), in general; and related publications
Some very casting
What makes a good adaptation
Wolverine’s hair
Those costumes
The cinematic X-Men
The cinematic Brotherhood
Sabretooth’s eyebrows
Condensed backstories
The movie magic of magnetism
The worst toy of all time
Going to school with superheroes
Things we’d like to have seen in the movie

NEXT EPISODE: The origin of Thunderbird! (Not that one.) (Or that one.)

The visual companion to this episode is the film X-Men (2000).

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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490 – Chekhov’s Angel Dust

June 15, 2025 Jay 13 comments

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In which Chris Claremont tries to make the Neo happen; Cecilia Reyes continues to have no time for this bullshit; Rogue gets some action; Shadowcat flees the comic; and Tessa returns.

X-PLAINED:

The Evolutionaries
X-Men #100-102
The current X-Men rosters
Thunderbird (Neal Shaara)
Claremont vs. continuity
Dove crimes
The Neo
- Domina
- Jaeger
- Rax
Fancy space suits
What to do with someone else’s bone claws
Some guy named Seth
The High Evolutionary’s love nest
A Phoenix-saga callback
Rave
Warren Kenneth Worthington III’s weird fantasies
Whether unstable molecules are self-cleaning
Seventeen deaths of Mister Sinister
Salvo the Living Gun
How to keep track of X-Men
Time travel problems
X-Men LEGO sets we’d like to see

NEXT EPISODE: Live from Washington, D.C.!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 487 – The Only Well-Adjusted Cyclops in the Multiverse (Mutant X May, Part 2)

May 18, 2025 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

…the 2025 story. (Mutant X #9)

The Morlocks! (Mutant X #9)

A damned fine Magneto indeed. (Mutant X #9)

Polaris from X-Factor meets Terra from Final Fantasy VI. (Mutant X #10)

Nightcrawler-1298 can buckle our swashes anytime. (Mutant X #10)

The rest of the X-Men! (Mutant X #10)

The weather is wild today. (Mutant X #11)

I think this might be a big deal, you guys. (Mutant X #12)

Drama! (Mutant X #12)

The Goblin Queen falls. (Mutant X #12)

The secondary theme of Mutant X is the relationship between Ororo Munroe and rodents. (Mutant X #13)

Someone missed the memo about Diaphanous Romper Fridays. (Mutant X #13)

Ninja versus vampire: a tale as old as time. (Mutant X #13)

The most well-adjusted Cyclops in the Multiverse (and friends)! (Mutant X #14)

Bros! (Mutant X #14)

Meet Katherine Pryde, Black Queen of the Hellfire Club; Sebastian Shaw in an iron lung; palette-swapped Captain America; and Sunfire! (Mutant X #15)

De T’ieves Guild. (Mutant X #16)

A thief and a t’ief. (Mutant X Annual 2000)

“Dear Diary, only you understand me.” (Mutant X Annual 2000)

The origin of Gampire/Vambit. (Mutant X Annual 2000)

That first panel is just adorable. (Mutant X Annual 2000)

What a great guy, that Cap! Hope he doesn’t blow up the moon or anything later. (Mutant X #17)

And again: bros! (Mutant X #17)

Seems fine. (Mutant X #18)

Hey, that’s our podcast’s schtick! No swiping! (Mutant X #18)

NEXT TIME: The end of Mutant X May!

487 – The Only Well-Adjusted Cyclops in the Multiverse (Mutant X May, Part 2)

May 18, 2025 Jay 3 comments

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In which Mutant X May continues; the X-Men return from space; it’s okay not to fill in every detail of a world; Havok leans into parenthood; we meet the only well-adjusted Cyclops in the multiverse; in any universe, Forge has terrible judgment; and the Six get some new members.

X-PLAINED:

Several notable upcoming events in Mutant X
What’s happened so far
Mutant X #9-18
Mutant X Annual 2000
The Morlocks of Earth-1298
The Mole Man of Earth-1298
The Yancy Street Underground
Magneto of Earth-1298
Superhero costume color theory
Polaris of Earth-1298
The X-Men of Earth-1298
- Magneto
- Polaris
- Nightcrawler
- Rogue
- Mystique
- Quicksilver
The Goblin Entity
Doctor Doom of Earth-1298
Namor of Earth-1298
The origin of Bloodstorm
Dracula’s fellas
The Starjammers of Earth-1298
- Cyclops
- Binary
- Nova
- Lockheed
- Silver Surfer
Space alien problems
A fairly literal deus ex machina
Captain America of Earth-1298
A terrible idea
The United Guild of Thieves and Assassins
Gambit of Earth-1298
Raven LeBeau
The origin of Vampire Gambit
Mister Sinister of Earth-1298
Jean Grey of Earth-1298
Where Scott Summers of Earth-1298 ranks on the Cyclops Has a Good Day scale
Where to put X-logos on a costume

NEXT EPISODE: Mutant X May concludes!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 478 – The Monologue Tube

February 23, 2025 Miles 3 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Alan Davis protests the death of Cyclops. (From this link)

X-teams, past to present. (At least the ones who still had comics in 2000.) (Uncanny X-Men #379)

Well, at least this time he’s leaving with someone other than those five motorcycle guys who could turn into a sixth motorcycle guy. (Uncanny X-Men #379)

It really, really isn’t. (Uncanny X-Men #379)

“…why do you call yourself X-Man, anyway?” (Uncanny X-Men #379)

Suddenly, the plot! (Uncanny X-Men #379)

“Sacre blue, non! Our elf ears!” (Uncanny X-Men #379)

“you guys i am so mad right now you have no idea” (Uncanny X-Men #379)

Toad, did you just… have that mirror with you? (Uncanny X-Men #379)

Just a really good cover. (X-Force #101)

That pacing, though. (X-Force #101)

Aww man. (X-Force #101)

We’ve all been there, kid. Well, maybe not exactly there, but like… metaphorically. (X-Force #101)

Meltdown counsels a sad child in a comic by Joseph Harris, part 2. (X-Force #101)

Doctor Wily, is that you? (X-Men #99)

“You wanna play paintball with us?” (X-Men #99)

How does a costume that looks so good when you’re blue look so silly when you’re not? (X-Men #99)

I’m not so sure about this Storm-and-Marrow-as-camp-counselors subplot, but I do love me some soap opera. (X-Men #99)

Businesspeople and bikers: the two genders. (X-Men #99)

Tentacle-guys, demons, and hulks: the three genders. (X-Men #99)

Mystique really misses that lamp. (Uncanny X-Men #380)

Logan may be dying, but his eyebrows are very impressive right now. (Uncanny X-Men #380)

“Plus, they charged us like thirty bucks just to bring a carry-on!” (Uncanny X-Men #380)

The S stands for Sexy. (Uncanny X-Men #380)

We’ve all had that dream, Blob. (Uncanny X-Men #380)

Bye, Alan Davis! It’s been weird but pretty fun! (Uncanny X-Men #380)

NEXT TIME: Magneto versus everybody.

478 – The Monologue Tube

February 23, 2025 Miles 6 comments

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In which Alan Davis is Team Cyclops; everyone gets depowered; it’s hard to connect with kids your age when you’re a superhero; Sinister’s gotta sinister; everyone gets repowered; and the ‘90s were much more eclectic than they get credit for being.

X-PLAINED:

Side effects of Decimation
Uncanny X-Men #379-380
X-Force #101
X-Men #99
Cadre K
Summers family drama
The High Evolutionary (more) (again)
The (other) time all the mutants got depowered
Kevin
A very beautiful book
The ongoing mess of Genoshan politics
The Neo (slightly)
To what extent Logan’s claws are a mutant power
Sinister monologues
Herbert Evolutionary
The New New Men
The ‘90s, in general
What makes a Morlock

NEXT EPISODE: Magneto: Dark Seduction!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 477 – Ages of Apocalypse

February 21, 2025 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Jean Grey sums up this podcast. (Uncanny X-Men #379)

No smoking in the Skull Cave. (Uncanny X-Men #379)

“Was this outfit a mistake? I’m worried this outfit was a mistake.” (Uncanny X-Men #379)

“This outfit was definitely not a mistake, sugah.” (Uncanny X-Men #379)

To be fair, not her worst costume. (Uncanny X-Men #379)

Remember this for the next four chapters! ‘Cause the writers won’t. (Uncanny X-Men #379)

Don’t bring a sword to a gun- and/or Psimitar-fight. (Cable #77)

We learned that a horse helmet is called a chanfron, sometimes spelled shaffron, and that Magneto’s horse has the greatest one of all time. (Cable #77)