Sarah – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 478 – The Monologue Tube

February 23, 2025 Miles 3 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Alan Davis protests the death of Cyclops. (From this link)

X-teams, past to present. (At least the ones who still had comics in 2000.) (Uncanny X-Men #379)

Well, at least this time he’s leaving with someone other than those five motorcycle guys who could turn into a sixth motorcycle guy. (Uncanny X-Men #379)

It really, really isn’t. (Uncanny X-Men #379)

“…why do you call yourself X-Man, anyway?” (Uncanny X-Men #379)

Suddenly, the plot! (Uncanny X-Men #379)

“Sacre blue, non! Our elf ears!” (Uncanny X-Men #379)

“you guys i am so mad right now you have no idea” (Uncanny X-Men #379)

Toad, did you just… have that mirror with you? (Uncanny X-Men #379)

Just a really good cover. (X-Force #101)

That pacing, though. (X-Force #101)

Aww man. (X-Force #101)

We’ve all been there, kid. Well, maybe not exactly there, but like… metaphorically. (X-Force #101)

Meltdown counsels a sad child in a comic by Joseph Harris, part 2. (X-Force #101)

Doctor Wily, is that you? (X-Men #99)

“You wanna play paintball with us?” (X-Men #99)

How does a costume that looks so good when you’re blue look so silly when you’re not? (X-Men #99)

I’m not so sure about this Storm-and-Marrow-as-camp-counselors subplot, but I do love me some soap opera. (X-Men #99)

Businesspeople and bikers: the two genders. (X-Men #99)

Tentacle-guys, demons, and hulks: the three genders. (X-Men #99)

Mystique really misses that lamp. (Uncanny X-Men #380)

Logan may be dying, but his eyebrows are very impressive right now. (Uncanny X-Men #380)

“Plus, they charged us like thirty bucks just to bring a carry-on!” (Uncanny X-Men #380)

The S stands for Sexy. (Uncanny X-Men #380)

We’ve all had that dream, Blob. (Uncanny X-Men #380)

Bye, Alan Davis! It’s been weird but pretty fun! (Uncanny X-Men #380)

NEXT TIME: Magneto versus everybody.

478 – The Monologue Tube

February 23, 2025 Miles 6 comments

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In which Alan Davis is Team Cyclops; everyone gets depowered; it’s hard to connect with kids your age when you’re a superhero; Sinister’s gotta sinister; everyone gets repowered; and the ‘90s were much more eclectic than they get credit for being.

X-PLAINED:

Side effects of Decimation
Uncanny X-Men #379-380
X-Force #101
X-Men #99
Cadre K
Summers family drama
The High Evolutionary (more) (again)
The (other) time all the mutants got depowered
Kevin
A very beautiful book
The ongoing mess of Genoshan politics
The Neo (slightly)
To what extent Logan’s claws are a mutant power
Sinister monologues
Herbert Evolutionary
The New New Men
The ‘90s, in general
What makes a Morlock

NEXT EPISODE: Magneto: Dark Seduction!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 477 – Ages of Apocalypse

February 21, 2025 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Jean Grey sums up this podcast. (Uncanny X-Men #379)

No smoking in the Skull Cave. (Uncanny X-Men #379)

“Was this outfit a mistake? I’m worried this outfit was a mistake.” (Uncanny X-Men #379)

“This outfit was definitely not a mistake, sugah.” (Uncanny X-Men #379)

To be fair, not her worst costume. (Uncanny X-Men #379)

Remember this for the next four chapters! ‘Cause the writers won’t. (Uncanny X-Men #379)

Don’t bring a sword to a gun- and/or Psimitar-fight. (Cable #77)

We learned that a horse helmet is called a chanfron, sometimes spelled shaffron, and that Magneto’s horse has the greatest one of all time. (Cable #77)

The literal power behind the throne. (Cable #77)

*cries in alternate timeline* (Cable #77)

We never get sick of that coloring technique. (Cable #77)

*record scratch* “You’re probably wondering how I got here…” (Wolverine #148)

“Logan, you know perfectly well that skeletons can’t drink, and even asking me is offensive and hurtful.” (Wolverine #148)

Is this issue good? That’s the wrong question. Is this issue fun? Absolutely. (Wolverine #148)

Nate Grey as Onslaught… Could this get any more 90s? (Wolverine #148)

I mean, might be an upgrade at this point. (See also: One World Under Doom, on sale now.) (Wolverine #148)

One of a very large number of excellent Phoenix costume color combinations. (X-Men Unlimited #26)

What’s Siphon’s deal? No one knows! (X-Men Unlimited #26)

Don’t think of it as losing a costume so much as gaining a robo-pterodactyl. (X-Men Unlimited #26)

Hey, it’s Excalibur! Kinda! (X-Men Unlimited #26)

Know why there isn’t sound in space? Because Banshee lost his voice. (X-Men Unlimited #26)

The one we’ve been waiting for! (Uncanny X-Men #380)

That ol’ Alan Davis alchemy. (Uncanny X-Men #380)

I want to read a whole comic about them! (Uncanny X-Men #380)

Utterly charming. (Uncanny X-Men #380)

The Brotherhood of 2099! Between Magneto and Polaris, we have complete shoulder fur-coverage. (Uncanny X-Men #380)

“Everyone, blast your thing at the thing!” (Uncanny X-Men #380)

Comic book structure as comic book storytelling. (Uncanny X-Men #380)

NEXT TIME: All the mutants lose their powers!

477 – Ages of Apocalypse

February 16, 2025 Jay 13 comments

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In which reality shatters; Ghost Rider wants friends; Jay’s toddler weighs in on the X-Men; the Phoenix costume is pretty much perfect; Caliban puts all his resources into an epic mount; and the future is so bright you’re gonna need shades.

X-PLAINED:

The Triune Understanding
Ages of Apocalypse
Uncanny X-Men #378
Cable #77
Wolverine #148
X-Men Unlimited #26
X-Men #98
Earth-23378
Things you can leave to people in a will
The Silver Age, but different
Apocaclops
Aliya Dayspring
Chronological inconsistencies
Earth-2841
The Harpy (Betty Ross)
A very different Fantastic Four
Earth-32000
Siphon
The moon
Zackat (Wolverine) (long story)
Erik the Red (more) (again)
The Ladies Mastermind
Cadre K
Earth-32098
X-World
The prettiest X-Man
The moon’s mutant power

NEXT EPISODE: Powerless!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 469 – Killed by Death

December 1, 2024 Jay Leave a comment

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“Okay, everybody dig in!” (Uncanny X-Men #375)

And the fun begins. (Uncanny X-Men #375)

Professor Xavier is a jerk. (Uncanny X-Men #375)

“Can I touch it?” (Uncanny X-Men #375)

Jaq and Fiz. (X-Men #95)

I can’t be the only one who finds this whole scene hilarious. (X-Men #95)

Well, damn. (X-Men #95)

Ouch. (X-Men Unlimited #25)

NEXT EPISODE: Solo shenanigans!

469 – Killed by Death

November 24, 2024 Jay 3 comments

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In which the Shattering officially concludes; you can’t swoop over the phone; toddlers are engines of pure chaos; the X-Men do some processing; and we are mildly scandalized by the absence of footnotes.

X-PLAINED:

Rama-Tut
Evan Sabahnur
Uncanny X-Men #375
X-Men #95
X-Men Unlimited #25
Skrull problems
One very upsetting way to identify a traitor
Skrullverine
Fiz and Jaq
The Ally
A ruse
Death’s mask
A dramatic revelation
Processing
The unrealized potential of Spirit Halloween
Wolverine memories
Rogue’s temporary tattoos
Yet another time loop

NEXT EPISODE: We segue into solo series!

The visual companion to this episode will be up later this week.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 467 – Disorganizing Principle

November 8, 2024 Miles Leave a comment

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And then Marrow whacked a centaur with a dinosaur, as happens. (Uncanny X-Men #373)

Piotr Rasputin, clown in training. (Uncanny X-Men #373)

Nice Sienkiewicz-style sketchiness… (Uncanny X-Men #373)

What’s up, Doctor Klaw? (Uncanny X-Men #373)

Poor Sarah… (Uncanny X-Men #373)

Mikhail turns a chair into a dinosaur to prove every point. (Uncanny X-Men #374)

Jeez, at least put a beanbag chair in the corner or something. (Uncanny X-Men #374)

Marrow 4.0 meets Marrow 1.0. (Uncanny X-Men #374)

Marrow 4.0 meets Marrow 2.0. (Uncanny X-Men #374)

For him, it was Tuesday. (Uncanny X-Men #374)

I… definitely knew it all along! It was obvious, really! (Uncanny X-Men #374)

“I wish I could just turn into a bird like in X-Men Evolution.” (X-Men #93)

I’m starting with the elf in the mirror… (X-Men #93)

Honestly, Rogue’s response would’ve been understandable regardless of the nature of her powers. (X-Men #93)

Polaris is a little… out of character in this arc. Get used to it, I guess. (X-Men #93)

“So were Mystique and Destiny… Roommates? Gal Pals?” (X-Men #93)

I appreciate a clear sense of panel-to-panel movement. Even more so when it’s Rogue kicking ass. (X-Men #93)

Sunfire ponders how to quit the scene. (X-Men #94)

You wish it was just one journal, Kitty. Just you wait. (X-Men #94)

I know all of the As stand for Apocalypse, but I like to think Destiny was just giving her prophecies excellent grades. (X-Men #94)

Listen, Rogue, it could be worse – your mom may have disappeared in the middle of a sincere conversation, but at least she didn’t throw you off a bridge to be picked up by an evil wizard lady and her attractive daughter! (X-Men #94)

NEXT TIME: Jubilee gets revenge!

467 – Disorganizing Principle

November 3, 2024 Jay 3 comments

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In which Nightcrawler has a type; the Hill is a bad place to raise your kids up; Colossus introduces Marrow to art; we come out against autotrepanation; Mikhail Rasputin never learns; Destiny leaves clues from beyond the grave; and The Twelve looms.

X-PLAINED:

That one universe where Mystique raised Nightcrawler in an attic
An event in name only
Some shit that went down a while ago
The Hill (more) (again)
Uncanny X-Men #373-374
X-Men #93-94
Marrow as a child soldier
Rural Boston
Some asshole
Mikhail Rasputin (more) (again)
How to prove that you’re a god
The souls of furniture and some other things
The green psychic entity who’s been secretly controlling Mikhail Rasputin, I guess?
Ninja problems
B. Byron Biggs
Ronnie Lake
A Conspiracy
How Rogue and Destiny met
Compulsory heterosexuality
Destiny’s diaries
Prognostication vs. agenda-setting
Skrullverine’s power mimicry
How the Mannites could’ve been used in the Krakoan era

NEXT EPISODE: Secrets of Jubilee’s past!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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463 – The Fart Ghost That Walks Like a Manhattan

September 22, 2024 Jay 5 comments

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In which Gambit is fundamentally goofy; t’ieves love research; Magneto was ripped; Professor Xavier remains a jerk; Miles attempts to convey something very fundamentally visual in an audio format; Marrow is adorable; the X-Men pretty much disband (again); and a miniseries is the opposite of a vacation.

X-PLAINED:

Where Wolverine went
Gambit Annual 1999
Uncanny X-Men #372
X-Men #92
A lot of backstory
A very cute plastic goose
What Gambit does in his free time
Those weird fluid-filled tubes they put people in all the time for some reason
Gambit’s abs
The fart ghost (Mary Purcell)
Manhattan, Indiana
A very minor continuity error
Fart ghost metaphysics
A very bad idea
A muppetworthy death
Dream’s various ends
X-pajamas
Professional dinosaurs
Thinkers
Theoretical Cyclops-Daredevil team-ups
X-characters recognizable as civilians

NEXT EPISODE: The return of the Damocles Foundation!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 456 – Until/Unless

July 24, 2024 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Techno-organic cover #1! (Uncanny X-Men #371)

Cheer up, Chuck – it’s just naptime at your school! I guess they all forgot their red and blue mats. (Uncanny X-Men #371)

I’m not so sure about this plot development, but… she’s just so happy! (Uncanny X-Men #371)

Hey, don’t judge: you look way grosser under your outer layer. (Uncanny X-Men #371)

“Dis was not in Gambit’s horoscope!” (Uncanny X-Men #371)

The Phalanx Covenant by Doctor Seuss. (Uncanny X-Men #371)

Techno-organic cover #2! (X-Men #91)

Take that, Billy G! You know what you did. (X-Men #91)

I love these weird faces and terrifying bone-trees! (X-Men #91)

Oof, brutal. (But nice dress, Rogue!) (X-Men #91)

URRKK indeed! (X-Men #91)

And for one panel, we were joined by the spirit of Bill Sienkiewicz. (X-Men #91)

Techno-organic cover #3! Yep, that’s Colossus’s arm from the last cover – we didn’t realize they connected until our listener Alex pointed it out on the blog! (X-Men Annual 1999)