In which nobody’s ages ever make sense; Sebastian Shaw catches up on villain speeches; nobody puts Louise Simonson in a corner; Tabitha Smith has a bad day; Gambit and Bat Manuel have a lot in common; and Warpath outruns Adam X.
X-PLAINED:
X-Force #49-51
Haircuts
The return off Sebastian Shaw
Stansfield
A series of kidnappings
Solar-powered superpowers
Attempted murder
Memories
Cable as an audience surrogate
Tabitha’s new codename
The first Tick live-action series
Warpath’s running speed
Risqué
What gravity sounds like
X-leisure activities
Magneto’s human name/s
NEXT EPISODE: A Tale of Two Beasts
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Next up: this cover sadly walking away from a gathered crowd of additional copies of this cover. (X-Force #44)
They’re about five minutes away from standing on each other’s shoulders and wearing a big trench coat to seem like an adult. (X-Force #44)
All of the elements of a relaxing vacation: an idyllic cottage, a beautiful forest, adorable animals, a tiny speedo… (X-Force #44)
“Also, I’m going to need you to start doing machines. You’ve been cool but rude for too long.” (X-Force #44)
“Ah’m nigh invulnerable when Ah’m excited!” (X-Force #44)
Morally yellow and purple. (X-Force #44)
“DOOM”? Are we looking at Caliban and Sabretooth or Surtur and his anvil? (X-Force #45)
Adam Pollina draws some pretty great faces. (X-Force #45)
“Every time he seems to be ready to come down, he loses count of his pouches and has to start all over again.” (X-Force #45)
If you asked me what X-book would look most like a romance comic in 1995, I would not have predicted X-Force. (X-Force #45)
Perhaps it’s not a coincidence that the character Mimic has spent the most time with in the preceding decade was the Hulk. (X-Force #45)
Rutland, Vermont: not just a frequent setting of 1970s Marvel and DC comics, but totally a real place! (Avengers #119)
“Is that..? Couldn’t be. But who else has that topknot and ‘burns combo?” (X-Force #46)
And that’s why you always leave a note. (X-Force #46)
These animals look way more judgmental than the ones in the last hologram. (X-Force #46)
“This new hair gel… When it says ‘apply sparingly’, it means it.” (X-Force #46)
“What? Someone on your team now has more pouches than me? I’ll be right over!” (X-Force #46)
Reminds me of my first car. (X-Force #47)
Aww, kid. (X-Force #47)
I’m not sure why Adam Pollina sometimes randomly gives us art nouveau backgrounds, but I’m not complaining. (X-Force #47)
Jeez, now I’m scared to go outside. (X-Force #47)
Aww not this again (X-Force #47)
This haircut! Bring back this exact haircut! (Longshot Saves the Marvel Universe #1)
NEXT TIME: The kinda-new, sorta-different X-Factor.
LINKS & FURTHER NONSENSE:
Rutland, Vermont had multiple Marvel and DC stories set in it during the 1970s – but it’s also a real place. Apologies for telling everyone it was imaginary, and thank you to all the listeners who kindly pointed out that it wasn’t!
In which Jay discovers a continuity loop; phonetic spelling reaches a new level of implausibility; it’s always already Onslaught; X-Force’s roster gets shaken up; Siryn goes undercover; and the Upstarts remain vaguely plot-relevant despite our fervent wishes.
X-PLAINED:
Mimic (Calvin Rankin)
Wing problems
X-Force #45-47
One of Adam Pollina’s more remarkable non-Marvel art credits
One of many homages to the cover of X-Men #138
X-Force, its members, and its recent history
Phonetic spelling
Warpath’s hair
Baffling managerial decisions
Whether Reed Richards is machine washable
Many pouches
An unlikely friendship
Sabretooth’s state of mind
Rutland, VT
The Weisman Institute for the Criminally Insane
Dr. Rachel Weisman
Jeremy Stevens
Part of why we like following X-books over time
Character redesigns
CORRECTION: In addition to being the setting of a number of 1970s Marvel and DC stories, Rutland, VT is actually a real place with a famous annual (and largely superhero-themed) Halloween parade!
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
We were not nearly that ripped when we were 17. Or that telekinetic, I guess. (X-Man #1)
As entertaining as it is to imagine him with Schwarzenegger’s accent, I guess Cyclops is more John Connor than he is the T-800. (X-Man #1)
What I wouldn’t give for these guys to have their own ongoing comic… (X-Man #1)
I mean, seriously! How great would it be? Half revolutionary, half thespian, all delightful! (X-Man #1)
Black Tom Cassidy’s hair went white the day he lost his shillelagh. (X-Man #1)
Characters who need their own book, figure 3. (X-Man #1)
IS YOUR NAME OMEGA BLUE, ARKADY? NO IT IS NOT! (X-Man #2)
This is the Earth-295 equivalent of playing catch. (X-Man #2)
Sunspot would be proud. (And god damn, Steve Skroce is good at drawing telekinesis.) (X-Man #2)
Come on, Forge… How could you not trust a guy with a smile that big and a forehead diamond that he assures you is merely a fashion statement? (X-Man #2)
Nightmare factory? Heavy metal album cover? Why not both? (X-Man #2)
Butter Rum of Earth-295 does not approve. (X-Man #2)
The best-dressed D&D party of the Age of Apocalypse. (X-Man #3)
Whoa, Jason – maybe dial it back a little? (X-Man #3)
Schlonk? (X-Man #3)
Steve Skroce, making psychic powers look amazing since 1993. (Anyone remember Ectokid?) (X-Man #3)
I’m so glad they get to have this before everything goes to hell. (X-Man #3)
I’m not psychically crying you’re psychically crying (X-Man #3)
Jeph Loeb gets Sinister. (X-Man #4)
Does Mister Sinister practice his smug smiles in the mirror for moments like these? I mean, obviously he does, but like, for how long? (X-Man #4)
pterodactylwithapulserifle.tumblr.com (X-Man #4)
“To die will be an awfully big adventure.” (X-Man #4)
“Their eyes locked through the hole they’d smashed through the wall, and though they’d never truly met, they knew what they were: family.” (X-Man #4)
OBSCENE MONUMENT. (X-Man #4)
Hey, it’s Nate’s early, even more Dune-like design! (X-Men Collector’s Preview #1)
In which Nate Grey is a drama kid; Forge-295 is the hero we need; Mister Sinister is a graduate of the Danielle “Moonstar” Moonstar school of secret identities; and we really, really, really wish that the theater troupe had gotten the ongoing series.
X-PLAINED:
Just how powerful Nate Grey is
X-Man’s somewhat baffling ongoing appeal
X-Man #1-4
A theater company
The Best Forge (Earth-295)
Toad (Earth-295)
Sauron (Earth-295)
Brute (Earth-295)
An extended Tom Stoppard allusion
“Essex”
Domino (Earth-295)
Theater in and as resistance
An ineffectual ruse
A lot of death
Caliban (Earth-295)
A family reunion
The story we really wanted out of this series
The X-Man ongoing series
Chronically missing New Mutants
X-arcs we’d like to see animated
NEXT EPISODE: X-Universe!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop! This June, we’ll be donating all of the profits to Trans Lifeline!
In which Warpath and Colossus should start a support group; X-Force gets a new HQ; we make an unprecedently large number of musical-theater references; Cable is a highly qualified individual; tranq darts don’t work like that; Emma Frost gives fairly decent advice; the malls of Boston will never be the same again; and we need mutant body diversity now.
CONTENT WARNING: This episode involves discussion of child sexual abuse, murder, and cruelty to animals. If you want to skip that part, head to 34:42 for happier times!
X-PLAINED:
An early adventures of the brothers Proudstar
The new New Mutants trailer
Starlight Express
X-Force #40-42
Feral (Maria Callasantos) (more) (again)
X-Force’s new digs
Little Shop of X-Force
Thornn (Lucia Callasantos)
Code Blue
Cable’s law degree
How tranq darts (don’t) work
A lot of murder
Several family reunions
A terrifying team-up
Body diversity and fat representation in X-books
Feral’s Jellicle name
Cats, kind of, I guess
NEXT EPISODE: We get really intense about Adam X the X-Treme.
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
Should you be so inclined, you can watch the entire series here. It’s worth noting that the first few episodes do not reflect the tone of the series as it progresses. (Content Warning: I don’t even know anymore.)
In which Moonstar really wasn’t fooling anybody; Bird Brain is somehow still alive; Cassidy Keep is weird; Gene Ha draws excellent Storm; Reeva Payge makes her sole comics appearance; and Shinobi Shaw is wrong about everything.
X-PLAINED:
A not-particularly-cunning disguise
Upcoming coverage
X-Force Annual #3
X-Men Annual #3
The MLF
Reignfire (more) (again)
Moonstar (more) (again)
An unconventional way to keep a secret diary
A bittersweet semi-reunion
3Peace
Murphy Keep
A ghost, maybe
The kind of thing that happens at Cassidy Keep
An excellent burn
Leather
“Neurotoxins”
Sex House as the definitive artifact of the 2010s
How not to draw someone having a nightmare
A very short-lived version of the Hellfire Club
How not to villain
Coming to terms with bad fictional tech
NEXT EPISODE: Giant-Size Winter Special, feat. Christina Strain & Chip Zdarsky!
Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.
Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!
