Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

277 – Hedgehogs of Cairo

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Sauron is a huge nerd; the Savage Land is where Marvel stores the weird stuff; an etymology detour does not come from the X-Pert you’d expect; and Storm will straight-up stab you.

X-PLAINED:

  • Responsible weapon storage
  • X-Men Unlimited #6-7
  • A very large creative team
  • Sauron (more) (again)
  • Blood-derived powers
  • The Mutates
  • A pterosaur glow-up
  • Achmed El-Gibar
  • Street urchins (and the etymology thereof)
  • How to get a t’ieve mentor
  • Style vs. taste
  • The proportional relationship between knife skills and leadership potential
  • Tattoos vs. healing factors

NEXT EPISODE: Sex?


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276 – Wizard Problems

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Excalibur gets a regular writer again; we judge a book against against its covers; nothing good ever comes from being sexy on Muir Isle; and the soul sword’s real power is cutting through continuity.

X-PLAINED:

  • Stegron
  • Dinosaur powers
  • Excalibur #83-85 (The Soul Sword Trilogy)
  • Warren Ellis on Excalibur
  • Excalibur (more) (again)
  • Bends Sinister and Bend Sinister
  • Outsider days
  • Mail
  • Boundaries
  • Darkoth
  • Gravemoss
  • The Winding Way
  • Shrill
  • A problematic prosthesis
  • Roger Corman’s The Raven
  • A large number of continuity errors
  • Gratuitous dickery
  • An untold tale
  • The semantics of skin removal
  • Possession vs. retrograde amnesia
  • The circle of nostalgia

NEXT EPISODE: Jorts Unlimited!


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275 – End of the Summer

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Professor is too cool for the Phalanx; fatphobia is significantly more dangerous than Fred Dukes; Strong Guy catches a plane; Emma Frost will not let you coast; Jubilee says goodbye to the X-Men; and it’s probably for the best that we have avoided corporate advertisers.

X-PLAINED:

  • Mr. M
  • Thor: Metal Gods
  • Ship (more) (again)
  • The Phalanx vs. the Borg
  • Several cover homages
  • X-Force #39
  • X-Factor #107
  • Uncanny X-Men #318
  • Prosh
  • The myriad delights of embodiment
  • A complex theory about Leprechauns
  • Benefits of single-issue stories
  • Strong Guy vs. the Blob
  • Strong Guy vs. Gravity
  • Strong Guy vs. an airplane
  • Strong Guy vs. biology
  • Several explosions
  • The kids of Generation X
  • Deluxe-format comics
  • The Xavier Institute for Higher Learning
  • Goodbyes
  • Dazzler’s relative immortality
  • Jay’s X-Men Happy Meal Toy wish list
  • How to make a page-accurate Warlock toy

NEXT EPISODE: The Soul Sword Trilogy


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274 – The Red Shoe Prophecies (feat. Chris Eddleman)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Chris Eddleman joins us for a close look at House of X and Powers of X; Doug Ramsey is highly relevant; resurrection is problematic in a universe with a documented afterlife; there is no reasonable in-continuity justification for the lack of trans Marvel characters; and your OT3 is canon.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Phalanx (more) (again) (retconned)
  • House of X
  • Powers of X
  • Krakoa (more) (again) (retconned)
  • Moira MacTaggert (retconned)
  • Bar Sinister
  • Sinister Secrets
  • Portentous red shoes
  • The Man-Machine Ascendancy
  • Chimeras
  • North
  • Cardinal
  • Rasputin
  • Homo Novissima
  • Transhumanism in the Marvel Universe
  • The metaphysics of Krakoan resurrection
  • The Five
  • The true nature of Goldballs’ powers
  • Trans representation and its absence
  • Retroactive foreshadowing

NEXT EPISODE: Still not quite Generation X


CORRECTION: The story Jay referred to as “Everything Burns” is in fact titled “Time Runs Out,” although a good many things do burn over its course.


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273 – The Back-End Creep (The Phalanx Covenant, Part 3 of 3)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we have been on All the Podcasts; Full Shred Thrash is easier to say that it sounds; the Phalanx uses dial-up; Cable is a very large man; Larry Hama writes excellent banter; Cyclops has been progressively desensitized to plane crashes; Cameron Hodge is never graceful in defeat; and Final Sanction is actually about family.

X-PLAINED:

  • Mithras
  • A large number of guest appearances
  • Thor: Metal Gods
  • The Phalanx Covenant so far
  • Full Shred Thrash
  • Adam Kubert
  • Wolverine #85
  • Cable #16
  • Gorp, Waldo, and Apache
  • Popping silk
  • A Summers family reunion
  • Jean and Nathan
  • Jean Grey’s astral form
  • Genetics
  • Several airplanes
  • Mountain climbing
  • Gelatinous yahoos
  • Several impermanent deaths
  • Pregnant X-team members
  • Outside references to the X-Men

NEXT EPISODE: House of X, feat. Chris Eddleman


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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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272 – Children of the Phalanx (the Phalanx Covenant, Part 2 of 3)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Ship was inside Cable all along; Life Signs is the Two Towers of the Phalanx Covenant (but only in the bad ways), it’s lucky that the Phalanx doesn’t have WiFi; Nightcrawler embraces chaos; and we promise the crossover gets better next chapter.

X-PLAINED:

  • How Cable got his Ship back
  • Miles’s official stance on candy corn
  • The Two Towers of the Phalanx Covenant
  • X-Factor #106
  • X-Force #38
  • Excalibur #82
  • A monastery party
  • Douglock (more) (again)
  • Forge-O-Vision
  • How Steven Lang got mixed up with the Phalanx
  • Stages of Phalanx development
  • Babel
  • Giuseppe Russo, shepherd
  • The Phalanx, but dogs
  • Shinar
  • What you get when you meet a stranger in the Alps
  • Whom we’d like to see draw the Phalanx
  • Mindwifery
  • Adulthood
  • “Stealth”
  • Where baby Phalanxes come from
  • Teamwork
  • Good stories about Hope Summers
  • What happened to Paul Bailey

NEXT EPISODE: Rock climbing with the Summers Family


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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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271 – Abs for Days (The Phalanx Covenant, Part 1 of 3)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we’re finally both back in the virtual studio; Generation X is the new Inferno; the Phalanx Covenant begins; we’re not talking about Hickman in our coverage of this story; Banshee is the adult in the room; the Phalanx is pretty sexist; and gross powers are cool.

X-PLAINED:

  • Blink
  • Peter Sís
  • The Phalanx Covenant
  • “Generation Next” (but not Generation Next)
  • Uncanny X-Men #316-317
  • X-Men #36-37
  • Yet another way to do a crossover event
  • Some very good visual branding
  • What we’re not covering
  • Sexy Banshee
  • Retired Colonel Gayle Cordbecker
  • Monet St. Croix (kind of)
  • Coaxing
  • Early days of the Internets
  • Everett Thomas (Synch)
  • The fate of Sara Grey
  • Phalanx Phashion
  • Angelo Espinosa (Skin)
  • Clarice Ferguson (Blink)
  • Some guy allegedly named Gregor
  • Harvest
  • A very expensive house
  • An apparent death

NEXT EPISODE: Forge does not get a puppy.


NOTE: Jay was right: LiveJournal first launched in 1999.


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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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270 – X-Ray Goggles and Mail-Order Lizards (feat. Steve Stokes)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we hear from two generations of Stokeses for the price of one, buying comics for your son is a great way to rationalize reading them yourself, you should probably be reading The Immortal Hulk, and a 30-year comics hiatus ain’t stopping Steve.

X-PLAINED:

  • A well-loved copy of Fantastic Four #1
  • Marvel vs. DC in the Silver Age
  • Requirements for an acceptable Doctor Doom
  • The perils of competitive newsstand shopping
  • Comics conventions: the days before Hall H
  • The Long Game
  • Bill Sienkiewicz: best of the best
  • The Worst Comic Book Guy
  • What makes the X-books special
  • The experimental storytelling of New Mutants
  • The Original Five
  • The Long Box (and the Easter basket)
  • Contagious enthusiasm
  • Returning to the Marvel Universe as a lapsed reader
  • Art styles over the years
  • Tragic tales of mail-order chameleons
  • The joys of the mainstreaming of nerddom
  • Superhero movies as message pill pockets
  • Fin Fang Foom
  • HoX/PoX freakouts as father/son bonding
  • Acid in vampires’ faces and other childhood traumas

NEXT EPISODE: The Phalanx Covenant (finally) begins!


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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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269 – NYCC 2019 Sofa Special: Double Dactyl, feat. Seanan McGuire

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Seanan and Jay break down their favorite X-Villains; technically everyone is always cosplaying Mystique; Magneto remains the gold standard; and we have some concerns about Eye Boy.

X-PLAINED:

  • Candy Corn, and our official stance thereon
  • Halloween candy economy
  • Which X-Character to dress as for your office Halloween party
  • X-Villains
  • What makes Magneto tick
  • Magneto as a Holocaust survivor
  • What makes a villain redeemable
  • Face turns
  • The last DDR machine in New York, and denizens thereof
  • An X-Villain musical
  • Mystique
  • How to make Daken work
  • Avengers as antagonists
  • Sinister’s goals
  • Bringing back Cameron Hodge
  • Meggan vs. Brexit
  • Heel turns

NEXT EPISODE: Stokes + Stokes!


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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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268 – Disquettes

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Excalibur addresses a number of dangling plot threads, Britanic finally gets (somewhat) interesting, Kitty really wants Douglock to be Doug, Professor Xavier and Moira MacTaggert are the best exes, and the future has peculiar priorities.

X-PLAINED:

  • The life and death of Jamie Braddock
  • Excalibur #81
  • Douglock (more) (again)
  • Inker ambiguity
  • Britanic and Meggan’s Christmas costumes
  • The Excalibur Lighthouse’s sudden and inexplicable resurrection
  • Mo’ time travel, mo’ problems
  • 20,097 rocks on a shoreline
  • Douglock: overly literal, dryly funny, or just plain thirsty?
  • The Emotional Beat of Damocles
  • The problems with crunch time
  • Princess Diana: Excalibur vs. X-Statix
  • Language and time
  • Excalibur Annual #2
  • Appropriately bombastic narration
  • Fashions of the future
  • Psychic psychotherapy
  • Sibling rivalry
  • Mr. Poo
  • Braddock moppets
  • Oversimplification vs. ambiguity
  • Spooling chambers (more)
  • Excalibur as an X-leftovers book
  • Air travel: leg-room vs. sorcerous doom
  • Hannibal King: vampire detective and/or penciler
  • Shadowcat and the pain of hope
  • A Doug’s-eye view of New Mutants
  • Emma Frost and aging
  • Dazzler and roller derby

NEXT EPISODE: Jay and Seanan McGuire talk villains!


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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!