Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Category: podcasts

72 – Thrown Under the Plot Bus

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 9/6/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 9/6/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which Dazzler is not a team player; Longshot is the Zonker Harris of the X-Men; Juggernaut is That Guy; Rachel and Miles channel Statler and Waldorf; and Alex Summers is seriously never, ever going to finish grad school.

X-PLAINED:

  • Mutant X
  • The only well-adjusted Scott Summers in the Multiverse
  • The Goblin Entity
  • Uncanny X-Men #217-219
  • The evolution of the X-Men’s lineup
  • Standards for a good twist
  • Doonesbury
  • Several Dungeons & Dragons analogies
  • A dubious literary allusion
  • Flying jeeps
  • CrimeBros
  • The fundamental tragedy of Longshot
  • Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart and several homages thereto
  • Geordie and Rupert
  • Havok (more) (again)
  • Car-wreck sex
  • An unfortunate end to a camping trip
  • The Plot Bus
  • Several ways to stat Rogue up as a D&D character
  • Narrative-friendly power sets

Special thanks to:

  • The wonderful Adam Warrock, for letting us sample his song “Teamwork” in this episode! You can listen to the full track here, and find more of Adam’s work at adamwarrock.com.
  • Harrison Barber for his X-Pert D&D advice (not to mention nearly fifteen years of tolerating our nonsense at the gaming table)!

NEXT WEEK: X-Men: Evolution with Robert N. Skir!

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Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

71 – The Once and Fuchsia King

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/30/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/30/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which the New Mutants return from space; Professor Xavier ruins everything; Magneto is the Craig Pelton of X-Men; Cypher carouses shamefully with Hellfire tramps; Karma quits the team; and we wrap up Chris Claremont’s New Mutants run.

X-PLAINED:

  • Leong and Nga Coy Manh
  • New Mutants #51-54
  • The Starjammers (again)
  • The paradox of Professor X
  • Several dramatic speeches
  • The Hellfire Club for Creative Anachronism
  • Plan Omega (but not that one)
  • A fairly epic dress-code violation
  • Magik vs. Limbo
  • A very specific bit of fancasting
  • Best Magneto
  • What X-fans (may or may not) live for
  • A well-wrought nightmare
  • Hellion disambiguation
  • Doug Ramsey’s Fancy Hair
  • New Mutants X Frank Zappa
  • Wacky teen hijinks at the Hellfire Club
  • Carousing shamefully with Hellfire tramps
  • A heroic challenge
  • A counterintuitive heart’s desire
  • Claremont’s New Mutants run.
  • Libraries
  • Emma Frost’s accent
  • The sounds of blastin’

NEXT WEEK: It’s hard to be Havok.

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Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

70 – Forget It, Jake; It’s X-Factor

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/23/2015 in the shop (also pencils skirts, ‘cause, why the hell not?) or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/23/2015 in the shop (also pencils skirts, ‘cause, why the hell not?) or contact David for the original.

In which everything is terrible; miscommunication triangles are way more awkward than love triangles; Boom Boom is universally delightful; Miles has feelings about ‘80s fashion; Apocalypse is judging your band posters; X-Factor still hasn’t gotten the hang of doors; Cyclops’s life continues to be an anxiety dream; the Twelve are better in foreshadowing than practice; and Angel dies as he lived: half-naked, at an airport.

X-PLAINED

  • The evolution of Angel
  • Cold opens
  • rachelandmiles.com
  • X-Factor so far
  • X-Factor #12-15
  • A miscommunication triangle
  • Boom Boom (Tabitha Smith)
  • Rachel’s Marc Silvestri causality loop
  • Boom Boom vs. Jubilee
  • Cameron disambiguation
  • Famine
  • Master Mold (more) (again)
  • The Twelve
  • Tanya Trask
  • Caliban

NEXT WEEK: Technoorganic blues!

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Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

69 – Weird Science, with Elle Collins and Graeme McMillan

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/9/2015 in the shop (once Redbubble’s uploader starts working again, anyway), or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/9/2015 in the shop (once Redbubble’s uploader starts working again, anyway), or contact David for the original.

In which Elle and Graeme save the day; Hank McCoy joins the real world (sort of) (briefly); Carl Maddicks may or may not be undead; academic discourse in the Marvel Universe leaves a few things to be desired; Steve Englehart is an unsung hero of X-Men; Mastermind lives up to his name; Warren Worthington has a good attitude about mutation; and Avengers Beast is the best Beast; and Graeme has strong feelings about Moira MacTaggert.

X-PLAINED:

  • The complex romantic life of Patsy Walker
  • The increasingly terrible life choices of Hank McCoy
  • Amazing Adventures #11-17
  • Incredible Hulk #161
  • Captain America #173-175
  • Avengers #137, 144, & 178
  • Marvel Team-Up #124
  • Life after the X-Men
  • The Brand Corporation
  • Carl Maddicks (again)
  • Vampire Secret Agent Linda Donaldson
  • The dubious chemical cause of mutation
  • Beast as proto-Wolverine
  • Steve Englehart
  • The high price of passing
  • Several unusually realistic latex masks
  • Norman Mailer’s Handbook for Unliberated Women
  • Sad clowns
  • Buzz Baxter
  • Hellcat (Patsy Walker)
  • Someone who might be Carole King, Indira Gandhi, or your sister (but isn’t)
  • Questionable corporate practices
  • Quasimodo (but not that one)
  • Semantics of fur color
  • The Griffin
  • The Secret Empire
  • Actual supervillain Richard Nixon
  • Mimic (Cal Rankin)
  • Avengers Auditions
  • Best Beast stories
  • Scotland

Special thanks to guest hosts Elle Collins & Graeme McMillan!

NEXT WEEK: Everything is terrible.

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Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

68 – The Most Dangerous Game

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most dangerous game v5
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/9/2015 , or contact David for the original.

In which we catch our breath after the Mutant Massacre; Miles’s taste is both epic and adorable; Dazzler’s Achilles heel is fame; Madelyne Pryor; it’s hard to be a teenage ghost; Crimson Commando is not actually Frank Borman (but we wish he were); Wolverine may or may not make truck noises; Heroes for Hope is profoundly baffling; and Sunspot would definitely be way into Leslie Knope.

X-PLAINED:

  • Several untimely deaths
  • Uncanny X-Men #214-216
  • Heroes for Hope
  • The post-Mutant Massacre X-Men
  • Malice
  • Another set of Phoenix callbacks
  • The Murder Grandpas
  • Crimson Commando
  • Super Sabre
  • Stonewall
  • Actual superhero Marsha P. Johnson
  • Priscilla the jerk
  • Wolverine SFX
  • Some fairly spectacular misunderstandings
  • One hell of a jam comic
  • X-costumes
  • A Thomas Magnum for 21st-century X-kids

NEXT WEEK: Elle Collins and Graeme McMillan X-Plain Beast’s solo adventures!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

67 – Shadow of the Technarch

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/2/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 8/2/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which the New Mutants get unstuck in time; Robert the Bruce is surprisingly shallow; Sentinels dabble in decoupage; Rachel pitches a comic; there’s no such thing as a happy Magneto flashback; you should probably respect teenagers more than you do; the seeds of Inferno are sewn; and Doug Ramsey hacks the planet.

NOTE: Rachel and Miles are moving this week. Expect everything to be late.

X-PLAINED:

  • Messing with the past
  • New Mutants character themes
  • You Can’t Do That on Television
  • New Mutants #47-50
  • Constructive stabbing
  • Sad Darin Morgan Magneto
  • Adventures in time and space
  • Tactical retreat
  • Several dark alternate futures
  • Earth-8720
  • Decoupage of Future Past
  • A singularly evocative Sentinel
  • Earth-87050
  • Magneto’s terrible, terrible life
  • The New Mutants vs. Magus
  • Peak Magma
  • Karma’s codename
  • Soul Sword continuity

NEXT WEEK: Hunting humans for sport!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

66 – The Mutant Massacre, Part 2

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 7/26/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 7/26/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which we wrap up our first official two-parter; Gambit ruins everything; Rachel has a theory about Mister Sinister; Marvel communication technology is behind the times; Trish Tilby is tired of your bullshit; Walter Simonson is the best of the best; X-Factor pulls it together; Power Pack gets uncomfortably dark; Miles has Thor feelings; and even more mutants die.

NOTE: This episode is the second of a two-parter! If you haven’t listened to Episode 65, where we cover the first half of the mutant massacre, you should probably do that before you listen to this one!

X-PLAINED:

  • Masque
  • Tentacle disambiguation
  • More of the Mutant Massacre
  • A Sinister hypothesis
  • Several Marauder-related retcons
  • X-Factor #9-11
  • Power Pack #27
  • The Mighty Thor #373-374
  • Trish Tilby
  • Artie & Leech
  • Several awkward reunions
  • Walter Simonson
  • The fall of Angel
  • Apocalypse’s horsemen
  • Yet another crossover that will probably scar the Power kids for life
  • Franklin Richards
  • Thor, Donald Blake, and Sigurd Jarlson
  • The best issue of any comic, ever.
  • The Tunnelers
  • Ongoing repercussions of the Mutant Massacre
  • Rachel & Miles’s horseman identities
  • Which X-Men could and should wield Mjolnir

NEXT WEEK: The New Mutants party like it’s 1299!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

65 – The Mutant Massacre, Part 1

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 7/19/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 7/19/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which we hit the first big X-centric crossover; a lot of Morlocks die; X-Factor is a dark farce; Kitty Pryde talks down a mob without using racial slurs; when Doug Ramsey tells you there’s a problem, you listen; and Callisto should be one of the iconic leaders of the Marvel Universe.

X-PLAINED:

  • Death by intellectual-property dispute
  • The Mutant Massacre
  • Mutant Massacres that might have been
  • Uncanny X-Men #210-213
  • New Mutants #46
  • The Marauders
  • The best way to guarantee the New Mutants’ involvement in a storyline
  • Limbo fashion
  • The responsibility of leadership
  • Wolverine vs. Sabretooth
  • Psylocke vs. Sabretooth
  • The evolution of crossovers
  • Characters we’d like to see more of post-Secret Wars

NEXT WEEK: The Mutant Massacre, Part 2!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

64 – Ski Lodge of Apocalypse

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 7/12/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 7/12/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which Louise Simonson saves X-Factor; Apocalypse gets off to a rough start; Cyclops is bad at people; Apocalypse should be the Kingpin of X-Men; Jean Grey is sick of your bullshit; you should totally cosplay Skids; and Mystique fundamentally misunderstands branding.

X-PLAINED

  • The Maximoff family tree
  • The Whizzer
  • X-Factor as sketch comedy
  • Louise Simonson
  • X-Factor #6-8
  • Apocalypse
  • Bulk
  • Glow Worm
  • Skids (Sally Blevins)
  • Weaponized fashion
  • Trish Tilby
  • Favorite Claremontisms
  • X-Finance

NEXT WEEK: The Mutant Massacre!

Special thanks to Master of Maximoffs Max Carleton of Waiting for the Trade.

A very happy birthday to the Consulting X-Pert Kestrel!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

63 – Wildways

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Guest art by Ryan Hill!
Guest art by Ryan Hill!

In which cartoon logic is terrifying; it’s immensely frustrating to be Doug Ramsey; Psylock gets evil robot eyes; queer subtext is not just for the ladies; Danger Room cold opens are the new Kitty’s costume changes; Mojo predicts reality TV; Longshot joins the X-Men; and we answer what may be the best question we have ever gotten.

X-PLAINED:

  • Captain Britain Corps
  • Alan Davis
  • New Mutants Annual #2
  • X-Men Annual #10
  • Captain Britain (Brian Braddock)
  • Psylocke (Betsy Braddock)
  • Slaymaster
  • Mojo
  • Why cartoon logic is terrifying
  • Animal Man vol. 1 #5, “The Coyote Gospel” (Incorrectly described as “The Ballad of Wile E. Coyote” in episode)
  • Wildways
  • Robot eyes
  • Template
  • Snitch
  • Straight Arrow
  • Jubilee (but not that Jubilee)
  • The trouble with determining character ages in superhero comics
  • The stated mission of the New Mutants
  • The proto-X-Babies
  • Longshot’s X-Men debut
  • The New Mutants’ graduation costumes
  • A really charged costume choice
  • Tonal shifts in New Mutants
  • X-Men vs. geese

NEXT WEEK: APOCALYPSE NOW!

ART CHALLENGE: Design a new graduation costume for one or more of the New Mutants! Send your designs to xplainthexmen(at)gmail(dot)com, with the subject line GRADUATION, and we’ll collect ‘em on the blog at the end of the week!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Special thanks to Ryan Hill for this week’s art, and to Claire Miller for the research X-Pertise!