Archangel – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 390 – Corners and Conspiracies

November 6, 2022 Jay One comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

X-Force X-Plains Dani Moonstar. (X-Force #67)

Cable is probably the nice kind of babysitter who lets you stay up past your bedtime and watch scary movies. (X-Force #67)

Well, shit. (X-Force #67)

Fashion for the cutting-edge interdimensional explorer. (X-Force #68)

Domino over the years, maybe. (X-Force #68)

To our absolute shock, he survives. (X-Force #69)

Domino, transformed. See what we mean about the body language? (X-Force #69)

Please enjoy G.W. Bridge’s heart pajamas. (X-Force #69)

The lava lamp dimension. (X-Force #69)

Oh. THAT guy. (X-Force #69)

A familiar cover. (X-Force #70)

Man, fuck you, Ozymandias. (X-Force #70)

NEXT EPISODE: Nathans all over the place!

And here are some of the ridiculous creatures Jay met at the Sheep and Wool Festival:

390 – Corners and Conspiracies

October 30, 2022 Jay 16 comments

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In which Danielle Moonstar quiet quits; a bunch of people regular quit; we are pleasantly surprised by the survival of a minor character; tough guys wear hearts; and X-Force once again takes its place as the best comic of the line.

X-PLAINED:

Vanisher’s brain tumor, again
X-Force #67-70
The Wakeman Oncological Research Center
Commander Ekaterina Gryaznova
The Mutant Liberation Front
Wildside
Dragoness
Forearm
Tempo
Locus
Moonstar (Mirage) (Danielle Moonstar)
Quiet quitting (and why it’s a bullshit concept)
Locus’s skin
Prime Sentinels
Ozymandias (again)
Llamas
A journey to another dimension
Spencer Beaumont
G. W. Bridge’s pajamas
In-between dimensions
Yet another homage to Uncanny X-Men #138
Cerebra
Earth-2099 vs. Earth-928
Our favorite non-canon ships

NEXT EPISODE: Cable, home alone

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 383 – A Dude and His Ninjas

August 28, 2022 Jay 3 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

You definitely fight this dude in a Street Fighter game. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #1)

Is Warren Kenneth Worthington III a worse boyfriend than Matt Murdock? Show your work. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #1)

Kuragari may be kind of pointless, but damn does he know from thrones. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #1)

This is literally why Jay doesn’t live in SoHo. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #1)

Betsy, buddy, why did you program your dead friend into your murdering-to-blow-off-steam program? (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #1)

I recognize we’re not dealing with reality persay, but I’m still pretty sure this shouldn’t work. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #2)

Do you ever want to force fictional characters into therapy? (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #2)

Spirit Halloween, all the way down. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #2)

There are worse ways to store skeletons, I’m just saying. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #3)

Oh, no. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #3)

Hi, Force Ghost Tar. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #4)

It’s so convenient that souls come in the form of little figurines, so you know whose they are. (Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #4)

NEXT EPISODE: It’s probably pronounced like “risk.”

LINKS & FURTHER DIMENSIONS

We first discussed Psylocke’s body swap in Episode 222 – A Tale of Two Betsys.
Gomurr, Tar, and the Crimson Dawn made their debut in Episode 330 – Suddenly, Ninjas, and yelled at Juggernaut in Episode 353 – Scientists and Superheroes.
Excalibur fought the Dragons of the Crimson Dawn in Episode 382 – Seven Swords.

383 – A Dude and His Ninjas

August 28, 2022 Jay 12 comments

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In which the Crimson Dawn is secretly a bad Daredevil arc; shadow-based transportation requires careful lighting; Dark Phoenix Saga references will not always do you favors; and Earth is big.

X-PLAINED:

Atlan the Dolphin
Psylocke and Archangel: Crimson Dawn #1-4
What the Crimson Dawn arc should actually be
Archangel (more) (again)
Psylocke (more) (again)
The Crimson Dawn (to what extent it can be explained)
Tar, Proctor of the Crimson Dawn (again)
Kuragari
Aesthetics of the Crimson Dawn
Undercloaks
How not to deliver a present
The worst thing about living in NYC
Sooooo much Orientalism
One way to put out a fire, I guess
“Infiltration”
Skeleton storage
The Overdrawn at the Memory Bank problem
Energy shuriken
Soul economics
Ninja Turtles on X-teams
Which X-Man would win a Pinewood Derby race

NEXT EPISODE: Risque!

NOTE: Jay’s Gollum voice is unfiltered. He can just do that at will, and it’s kind of upsetting.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 363 – Licked by a Shadow

February 20, 2022 Jay 6 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

It’s hard to be Warren Kenneth Worthington III. (Uncanny X-Men #338)

Hey, feathers! (Uncanny X-Men #338)

Peep those teeny peepers! (Uncanny X-Men #338)

YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN? SHE’S TOTALLY POUNCING ON PSYLOCKE! (Uncanny X-Men #338)

That’s our J. Jonah Jameson! (Uncanny X-Men #338)

Guys. GUYS. (Uncanny X-Men #338)

Ouch. (X-Men #58)

In which William Drake has a rare moment of conscience. (X-Men #58)

Rogue can’t sleep without dramatic irony. (X-Men #58)

“What do kids like these days? Dirtbikes, right?) (X-Men Annual 1996)

Well, that’ll ruin a baseball game. (X-Men Annual 1996)

Aw, man. (X-Men Annual 1996)

Can we discuss the apparent existence of X-Beer? (X-Men Annual 1996)

ALLL RIIIGHT indeed. (X-Men Annual 1996)

LOOK AT ALL THOSE X-MANS! (X-Men Annual 1996)

NEXT EPISODE: Pryde & Wisdom

363 – Licked by a Shadow

February 20, 2022 Jay 8 comments

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In which standing in fields looking confused is a way of life; Psylocke gets a new superpower; when you gotta confess you gotta confess; Iceman’s dad stands up for justice; we mourn a Sentinel; and it’s probably a good thing that most companies don’t do mind melds as a team-building exercise.

X-PLAINED:

Levels of mutant power
Omicron-level mutations
Miles’s brief baseball career
Uncanny X-Men #338
X-Men #58
X-Men Annual 1996
Archangel’s wings
Joseph vs. Holographic Magneto
Shadow teleportation
The errand theory of confession
Graydon Creed (more) (again)
“Drake Roberts” and “Samson Guthry”
Several ways to memorialize the Mutant Massacre
Onslaught, but an anteater
A fight
Several JJJ cameos
X-baseball games
A highly atypical Sentinel
Several oblique warnings
X-Men ‘97
Media inspired by the X-Men

NEXT EPISODE: Pryde & Wisdom

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 357 – The Semiotics of Regret

December 26, 2021 Jay 3 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

This cover accomplishes what it sets out to do so beautifully… (Uncanny X-Men #337)

…as does its credits page. (Uncanny X-Men #337)

Nothing is entirely okay here. (Uncanny X-Men #337)

Hank, no. (Uncanny X-Men #337)

And wistfulness for dessert. (Uncanny X-Men #337)

Ah, that cover. Again. (X-Men #57)

Versions of this have been used roughly a zillion times; but it always works. (X-Men #57)

The 616, where televisions always flip through the most scene-appropriate clips. (X-Men #57)

Clean up your damn flechettes, Warren Kenneth Worthington III. (X-Men #57)

(He’s not covered in water; it’s the anti-psy field and the evocation of Days of Future Past.) (Onslaught Epilogue #1)

Not… the Rainbow Bears?! (Onslaught Epilogue #1)

Hi, kiddo. (Onslaught Epilogue #1)

Psychology is… different, here. (Onslaught Epilogue #1)

Sure, why not? (Onslaught Epilogue #1)

NEXT EPISODE: GIANT-SIZE WINTER SPECIAL, feat. Jonathan Hickman!

As Mentioned in Episode 350 – The Xavier Protocols

October 24, 2021 Jay 3 comments

Listen to the episode here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Variant cover by Dylan Meconis!

Extra collectible sketch cover! You can download your own in PDF format here.

It’s always fun to see how teams look in other books. (Excalibur #100)

First version of the armor. Don’t get too attached. (Excalibur #100)

In all fairness, decapitation would kill most people. (Excalibur #100)

Does he seriously do this for EVERY mutant? Or just X-Men? Or–? (Excalibur #100)

Meanwhile in a circus in Franklin Richards’s head… (Fantastic Four #415)

I’ll admit: They look remarkably cool.

You don’t say, Reed. (Fantastic Four #415)

THE EYEBROWS OF TRUTH! (Fantastic Four #415)

What a good rug. (Fantastic Four #415)

This is among the weirder meta-product placement I’ve seen. (Fantastic Four #415)

There’s… a lot going on on that cover. (X-Factor #125)

Everything but the skateboard. (X-Factor #125)

Somewhere, one is experimentally gnawing on Hearst Tower. (X-Men #55)

How you can tell it’s a Really Big Event. (X-Men #55)

IT’S REALLY NOT THE TIME, BOBBY. (X-Men #55)

I don’t know why, but Onslaught’s pose in this panel cracks me the hell up. (X-Men #55)

That is… somewhat different from its previous appearance. (X-Men #55)

That certainly is an ebon citadel! (X-Men #55)

That’s quite a look, Onslaught of the Future! (X-Men #55)

NEXT EPISODE: Yep, more Onslaught.

LINKS & FURTHER CHOICES

Caps for Sale is a real and delightful book!
“Magneto’s Cape” is based on “Lily’s Eyes” from the excellent Secret Garden musical.

350 – The Xavier Protocols

October 24, 2021 Jay 36 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Variant cover by Dylan Meconis!

And a real, live, downloadable sketch variant!

In which we celebrate a milestone with a special collectible episode; there may already be a Charles Xavier in your basement; Onslaught lacks subtlety; Bill Watterson may or may not have changed his licensing policy on Earth-616; guns should not have hair; and Jay once again exercises his questionable lyrical skills.

X-PLAINED:

Excalibur #100
Fantastic Four #415
X-Factor #125
X-Men #55
Onslaught (more) (again)
The Xavier Protocols
The many secret subbasements of Charles Francis Xavier
The Xavier Protocols
An extremely poor file-retrieval system
Onslaught vs. the Fantastic Four
Li’l Charlie
A circus, kind of
Lang disambiguation
Onslaught’s new look
Onslaught vs. several Avengers
An unlicensed rug
The only thing Bill Watterson loves
Metaphorical Turkish delight
The Brand Corporation (more) (again)
Dark Descendents
Hairy guns
Caps for Sale
A really big fight
A very dramatic EMP
Why Onslaught looks like that

NEXT EPISODE: Yep, more Onslaught!

“Magneto’s Cape” lyrics by Jay Edidin, with apologies to Marsha Norman. Performed by Steve Pence and Adam Faruqi and produced by Adam Faruqi.

CORRECTION: There are only three variant covers to this episode, not four; Jen Vaughn had to bow out due to other commitments.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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