Archangel – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

330 – Suddenly, Ninjas

April 18, 2021 Jay Leave a comment

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the podcast turns seven; Matt has officially edited half the podcast; a lot of things are made by metal; Doctor Strange is a big weirdo; Gambit is a scoundrel, not a villain; Wolverine goes goth; Onslaught could probably use a better herald; Bishop fires two guns whilst going aaaaaaa; and we commit to making what sense we can of Onslaught.

X-PLAINED:

How Betsy got her body back
Several simultaneous anniversaries
Uncanny X-Men #329-330
X-Men #50
Some ninja bullshit
A lot of less-benign-than-it-looks racism
Excellent use of a neon sign
An odd couple
The evolution of art tools
Steam vs. metal
Gomurr the Ancient
The Ebon Vein
Catastrophic magic
Our favorite iterations of Doctor Strange
The Crimson Dawn
How one becomes Gomurr the Ancient
Tar (Proctor of the Crimson Dawn)
Post (Herald of Onslaught)
An entity who may or may not be Onslaught
Continuity party tricks
Survivors of the Age of Apocalypse

NEXT EPISODE: Brood X!

The visual companion to this episode will be up later this week!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 321 – Revolving Doors

January 24, 2021 Jay One comment

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Damn, those bunny slippers are intense.(X-Force #48)

Please note that Siryn has her own personal breeze. (X-Force #48)

“Y… you’re not?” (X-Force #48)

Large. (Uncanny X-Men #328)

LARGE. (Uncanny X-Men #328)

THAT IS NOT HOW YOU FIRST-AID A MAJOR ABDOMINAL WOUND (Uncanny X-Men #328)

We may never know why Professor X chose to install Cerebro in a Multi-Axis Trainer, but he certainly appears to have done so. (Sabretooth Special #1)

Dang, that’s a lot of drop shadows. (Sabretooth Special #1)

Deja vu all over again. We may never know why Professor X chose to install Cerebro in a Multi-Axis Trainer, but he certainly appears to have done so. (Sabretooth Special #1)

NEXT EPISODE: INTO THE CLONE ZONE!

321 – Revolving Doors

January 24, 2021 Jay 14 comments

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In which Sabretooth does not get effectively rehabilitated; nobody has the moral high ground; Val Cooper is the worst possible person to call in any emergency; Bishop needs a better support system; Jay knows several things about onions; and not everything has to be a mammal.

X-PLAINED:

Sabretooth (more) (again)
X-Force #48
Uncanny X-Men #328
Sabretooth Special #1
Bunny slippers
An intervention
Stages of grief
What not to do with Sabretooth
An evil squirrel
Onions
The three genders
Mutant Massacre callbacks
Caption disambiguation problems
The overabundance of boobs on fictional non-mammalian species

NEXT EPISODE: INTO THE CLONE ZONE!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 311 – Love Makes a Super Team

October 25, 2020 Jay 2 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

This friendship really never gets old. (X-Men Annual 1995)

Freakin’ Genesis, man. (X-Men Annual 1995)

The Nasty Boys, they are not. (X-Men Annual 1995)

Nathaniel Essex: The Hollywood Dracula Years. (X-Men Annual 1995)

The ladies love the cape. (X-Men Annual 1995)

In all fairness, I’m not sure I’d want to be naked in Teen Hank and Bobby’s makeouts cabin without cleaning first, either. (X-Men Annual 1995)

Meanwhile in the UK, a dramatic man and his dramatic ponytail! (X-Men Annual 1995)

I still think the photos were a bit much. (X-Men Annual 1995)

Anniversary or no, this image does not justify a double gatefold. (Uncanny X-Men #325)

Jean Grey: thirsty on main. (Uncanny X-Men #325)

Me, too, Monet. Me, too/ (Uncanny X-Men #325)

Damn, Piotr. (Uncanny X-Men #325)

“Non, mon ami, I do not have Prince Albert in a can.” (Uncanny X-Men #325)

Marrow may be bloodthirsty, but she’s also inclusive! (Uncanny X-Men #325)

What. (Uncanny X-Men #325)

Ew. (Uncanny X-Men #325)

This is why we can’t have nice things and/or organs. (Uncanny X-Men #325)

NEXT EPISODE: The Nobody People, with author Bob Proehl!

311 – Love Makes a Super-Team

October 18, 2020 Jay 16 comments

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In which we decide to stop recognizing the nominal difference between X-Men and Uncanny X-Men; time travel may or may not wait for you; Mister Sinister has probably appeared in at least one Ed Wood film; we are a pro-Tingle podcast; X-Men is about family; the Braddock twins catch up; Sailor Moon > Shinobi Shaw; Generation X is inducted into the baseball tradition; and Storm does what she does with Morlocks in sewers.

X-PLAINED:

Franklin Richards’ impressive lineage
311
Yet another structure for annuals
X-Men Annual 1995
Uncanny X-Men #325
Serious academic discussions
Faye Livingstone
Mister Sinister’s Hollywood adventures
Tyler Dayspring / Tolliver / Genesis (again)
Teenage optimism
An absolutely nonsensical villainous plot
A Hank McCoy that might have been
Friendship
Fraternal correspondence
Romance
Morlocks
The first time Storm stabbed a Morlock leader in the heart
Gene Nation
A really excessive cover
An intergenerational baseball game
Another fairly nonsensical villainous plot
The second time Storm stabbed a Morlock leader in the heart
X-horror
Other media X-fans may enjoy reading, playing, or watching

NEXT EPISODE: Bob Proehl X-Plains the Resonant Duology!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 286 – Family Before Continuity

February 23, 2020 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Don’t worry! The world will end before they can die in that plane crash! (Excalibur #86)

Pete Wisdom is a happy man with a happy life. (Excalibur #86)

MAH PUIR WEE HOVERCRAFT (Excalibur #86)

I want a team that’s just him and Chamber, brooding. (Excalibur #86)

A green and pleasant, &c. (Excalibur #86)

Well, so much for that mission. (Excalibur #86)

Me, too, Sam. Me, too. (X-Force #43)

I relate so hard to Shatterstar right now. (X-Force #43)

Time travel has some good looks. (X-Force #43)

Aw, these dudes. (X-Force #43)

“We’re here for you, in all our oddly-proportioned glory!” (X-Force #43)

He hasn’t, actually, but that won’t be revealed for a while yet. (X-Force #43)

“Man, is THIS what happens when your boss ditches you for another book?” (X-Force #43)

I know, right?! (Cable #20)

Pretty sure that every one of the original five has, at some point, referred to Hank as their best and/or closest friend. (Cable #20)

Ouch. (Cable #20)

OUCH. (Cable #20)

I’M NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING (Cable #20)

Aw, these guys. And it didn’t even take a bathtub! (Cable #20)

Sometimes a family is eight people in tight clothing posing dramatically for the end of the world. (Cable #20)

NEXT EPISODE: Welcome to Earth-295! Hope you survive the experience!

LINKS & FURTHER EVENT HORIZONS:

Come see us at Emerald City Comic Con! Miles is delightful in person; and Jay, um, exists corporeally.
Jay wrote an X-Men comic! It’s about Cyclops, and it will be out in April. Please tell your local comics shop to order a lot of copies so that they will let him write more.
Also, Thor: Metal Gods continues on over at Serial Box!
We covered the first 3/4 of Legion Quest in Episode 285 – Immediately If Not Sooner…
…and interviewed Fabian Nicieza about X-Force and a bunch of other stuff in Episode 250 – Minding the DNA!
New Intersections: Queer Futurism and the Krakoan Body Politic is a really fascinating article.

286 – Family Before Continuity

February 23, 2020 Jay 16 comments

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In which Sunspot is a bad enough dude to save the president; Black Air is nowhere near as fun as WHO; we reach the end of Fabian Nicieza’s X-Force run; Rictor and Shatterstar talk about feelings; Gambit does not go gently into that good night; Scott and Jean choose family over continuity; Legion Quest comes to a close, along with Earth-616; the heart of Dawn of X is its margins; you should come see us at ECCC; and we announce a new schedule.

X-PLAINED:

The Maker (Reed Richards of Earth-1610)
Jay & Miles at ECCC and FlameCon 2020
Stuff Jay writes
Excalibur #86
X-Force #43
Cable #20
Black Air
Pete Wisdom
What’s been up in Genosha
The Midnight Runner
Navigating Kitty Pryde’s age in Excalibur
A very abrupt ending
The ongoing evolution of X-Force
Locus’s new look
Clubbing with Rictor and Shatterstar
Legion Quest so far
Complicated feelings at the end of the world
A reunion
Where it all started
Vague power sets
Complicated feelings about Dawn of X
The new podcast schedule

NEXT EPISODE: The Age of Apocalypse

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

Come see us at ECCC, March 12-15!

As Mentioned in Episode 285 – Immediately if Not Sooner

February 16, 2020 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Wait, what if Bobby just misuses slang all the time to mess with Bishop? (Uncanny X-Men #320)

What the hell, Legion? (Uncanny X-Men #320)

So, that happened. (Uncanny X-Men #320)

Have fairly normal toes ever seemed as creepy as they do on this cover? I would argue that they have not. (X-Men #40)

If this were fanfic they would immediately have to fake being married to, I dunno, something. (X-Men #40)

Seriously, did ANY readers who didn’t already know recognize this dude as Legion? (X-Men #40)

That shadow! THAT ANGST! (X-Men #40)

“I had always hoped I might find others like us, but I never imagined the continuity would be this impenetrable!” (X-Men #40)

Meanwhile in a sitcom… (X-Men #40)

Tower of Telepaths never really caught on as a board game. (Uncanny X-Men #321)

Just kiss already. (Uncanny X-Men #321)

Greatest caption, or GREATEST CAPTION? (Uncanny X-Men #321)

Wait, has Bishop DISGUISED HIMSELF AS A PIRATE? If the answer is no, I don’t want to know; let me keep this dream. (Uncanny X-Men #321)

JUST KISS ALREADY (Uncanny X-Men #321)

Oh, no. (Uncanny X-Men #321)

Legion, NO. (Uncanny X-Men #321)

You’ve made it to Bishop’s ill-fitting trousers, Cable: just where you needed to be. (Uncanny X-Men #321)

“I knew that someday our future son would travel back in time to kill my best friend.” (X-Men #41)

AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE (X-Men #41)

Ouch. (X-Men #41)

Jubilee gives good advice. (X-Men #41)

The best kiss in X-Men. (X-Men #41)

Okay, but, that first panel. (X-Men #41)

NEXT EPISODE: The end of the world, more, again.

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

Here’s where you can find more on some of the key figures in Legion Quest:
- Legion / David Haller
  - Episode 44 – Assembling Legion, with Si Spurrier
  - Episodes 172–173 – The Muir Island Saga
  - Episode 283 – Legion Quest Quest
- The M’Kraan Crystal and Jahf
  - Episode 9 – Leprechaun Surprise Party
The Apocalypse Triptych is a very cool series of anthologies set before, during, and after various ends of the world.
- (Jay reviewed the first volume when it came out.)

285 – Immediately if Not Sooner

February 16, 2020 Jay 10 comments

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In which Goldballs is still a better name than Egg; we continue our progress towards Earth-295; Legion pulls a Stryfe; we’re still pretty shaky on how to pronounce “M’Kraan”; Xavier and Magneto were absolutely and unquestionably doing sex in the 1970s; it’s time time; the Watcher is watching you masturbate; and what happens immediately before the end of the world is often as important as what happens immediately after.

X-PLAINED:

Balls
Legion (more) (again)
Uncanny X-Men 320-321
X-Men #40
Establishing stakes
Slang of the mid-1990s
Time travel as a dick move
Issues vs. episodes
The M’Kraan Crystal (more) (again)
Hebrew vowels
Latent time travel abilities
Charles Xavier’s “first” bar fight
An exceptional caption
A very bad narrative choice
The death of Charles Francis Xavier
A load-bearing moment in time
Jahf the Guardian
Waiting for the end of the world
The best-drawn kiss in X-Men, ever
The many Krakoas
Integrating Legion into Dawn of X

NEXT EPISODE: More Legion Quest!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 282 – The Tide Takes the Castle

January 26, 2020 Jay One comment

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Hank McCoy is his own worst enemy–and best audience! (X-Men #38)

Bobby Drake somehow experienced the ’90s harder than most of his peers. (X-Men #38)

She’s not wrong. (X-Men #38)

“I, um, think I might have left something in Alaska. Bye.” (X-Men #38)

Every day, Bishop gets a little less enchanted with his heroes. (X-Men #38)

Aw, these two and their friendship. (X-Men #38)

[SOBS IN CALLBACK] (Iceman #3)

Has anyone ever stopped to notice the fact that Bobby Drake is a fucking spectacular sculptor? Seriously, he should be doing THAT professionally. (Uncanny X-Men #219)

William Drake: a jerk then, a jerk now. (Uncanny X-Men #219)

There is no rage like the rage of a man quietly spooning mashed potatoes onto plates. (Uncanny X-Men #219)

HE’S SO AWFUL. (Uncanny X-Men #219)

Aw, these kids. (Uncanny X-Men #219)

Meanwhile, in Hawk Talk! (Uncanny X-Men #219)

Planes are a Summers family tradition; as, apparently, is crashing them. (X-Men #39)

He’s a good kid. (X-Men #39)

A good kid with a good cap. (X-Men #39)

Weirdly, the heart just sort of hovers around outside the boathouse, and nobody can figure out how to make it go away. (X-Men #39)

See what we mean about the difference the right artist makes to Adam X (X-Men #39)

Man, I just want Philip and Deborah to adopt him and basically be the Kents. (X-Men #39)

Y’know what? Sure. Why not? (X-Men #39)

He came back! (X-Men #39)

HE’S SUCH A GOOD KID. (X-Men #39)

NEXT EPISODE: Still not technically Legion Quest!

LINKS & FURTHER DELIGHTS:

When not making our endless nonsense sound good, producer Matt Hunter makes really excellent music, and you should go listen to some!
Jay does not actually write things on hackertyper.com, but he wishes he could.
We covered Rogue’s solo series in Episode 245 – Natural Causes.
This is the plane Philip flew in WWII, if that’s your kind of thing.

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