Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: cyclops

As Mentioned in Episode 91 – The Saddest Story Ever Told

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
The vaguely slapstick motifs in this story somehow make it even sadder. (New Mutants #64)
And it really only gets more depressing from here. (New Mutants #64)
No, seriously. (New Mutants #64)
Everything is terrible forever. (New Mutants #64)
=( (New Mutants #64)
Yeah, we do not have a sassy caption for this. Sorry. (New Mutants #64)
Aw, man. These kids. (New Mutants #64)
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT! (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
Harder than fighting Sentinels, apparently. (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
“It’s four hours of me, a vacuum cleaner, and a theremin.” (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
The X-Men take costume parties REALLY DAMN SERIOUSLY. (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
“Also, that is literally one of the only two non-uniform outfits you own.” (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
How not to lay out a page for coherent reading order. (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
SO THEN THAT HAPPENED. (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)
And they all lived happily ever after. THE END! (But Doug Ramsey was still dead.) (Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade)

91 – The Saddest Story Ever Told

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which New Mutants #64 is the saddest single issue of any X-book ever; the New Mutants have to grow up fast; Warlock comes to terms with mortality; The Last of Us is harder to play the second time; Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade is delightfully unhinged; animated Cyclops is totally the worst; Beast probably has a terrible garage band; Jean starts a kitchen fire; and Wolverine saves Jubilee’s birthday.

 

X-PLAINED:

  • The saddest issue ever
  • New Mutants #64
  • The only okay way to watch Grave of the Fireflies
  • The aftermath of Doug Ramsey’s death
  • Several unhealthy coping mechanisms
  • The Last of Us
  • Tattoo Tales: X-Men: Masquerade
  • Some varyingly impressive costumes
  • General irresponsibility
  • Why Wolverine is wearing a clown suit
  • Douglock
  • The New Mutants’ D&D alignments

NEXT WEEK: You never forget your first Ship.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 88 – …Just Before Dawn

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
You never forget your first ship. (X-Factor #24)
“I mean, if those ridiculous spring arms aren’t evil, I don’t know what is.” (X-Factor #24)
Vannapocalypse White. (X-Factor #24)
This and the following seven panels are the bottoms of eight pages of X-Factor #24, running parallel to the bulk of the action taking place above.
(X-Factor #24)
(X-Factor #24)
(X-Factor #24)
(X-Factor #24)
(X-Factor #24)
(X-Factor #24)
(X-Factor #24)
And then, Caliban joins the rest of the cast. (X-Factor #24)
Okay, this looks bad. (X-Factor #24)
Recognizable presidents are few and far between in comics. (X-Factor #25)
Remember that time Power Pack straight-up killed an old lady? Because that DEFINITELY HAPPENS in this issue. (X-Factor #25)
As a former student of Charles Xavier, Iceman knows that the most expedient solution to any crisis is to fake his own death. (X-Factor #25)
Well, that was cathartic. (X-Factor #25)
Look at those sharp new costumes! (X-Factor #26)
Aw, Hank. (X-Factor #26)
ABOUT DAMN TIME. (X-Factor #26)
AND THEN! (X-Factor #26)
NEXT WEEK: Giant-Size Winter Special #2!

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING:

88 – …Just Before Dawn (Fall of the Mutants, Part 3 of 3)

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which X-Factor finally comes out ahead; Jay and Miles weigh in on the X-Men: Apocalypse trailer; En Sabah Nur is better at theater than tactics; no one does scale like Simonson; Iceman pulls an Xavier; Cyclops and Marvel Girl totally do it; and we conclude our three-part coverage of Fall of the Mutants.

X-PLAINED:

  • A potential (but unlikely) vector for resurrecting Cyclops-616
  • Events vs. crossovers
  • Our thoughts on the X-Men: Apocalypse trailer
  • X-Factor #24-26
  • Power Pack #35
  • Incredible Hulk #340
  • Captain America #339
  • Fantastic Four #312
  • Daredevil #252
  • Newsletters of Apocalypse
  • Some deeply dubious immunology
  • The fall of Caliban
  • Sense of scale
  • The kiss we’ve been waiting for
  • Teen Titans Wasteland
  • A recognizable ruse
  • A thematically significant crash landing
  • Some long-awaited resolution
  • How to judge an original-5 book
  • Sweatsuits of Apocalypse
  • The iconic X-Factor costumes
  • Fall of the Mutants tie-ins
  • Emus
  • The best-dressed X-Men

NEXT WEEK: GIANT-SIZE WINTER SPECIAL #2!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 84 – The Fourth Horseman

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 11/29/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
I try, but I just cannot get past those faces. (X-Factor Annual #2)
Acerbic done-with-this-shit Cyclops is the best Cyclops. (X-Factor Annual #2)
QWOPsilver. (X-Factor Annual #2)
Contexts in which Medusa’s superpower is not ridiculous: Yeah, we couldn’t think of any, either. (X-Factor Annual #2)
WHOOPS. (X-Factor Annual #2)
Take away the window dressing, and Maximus’s evil plan is basically weaponized empathy. (X-Factor Annual #2)
‘Kay, then. (X-Factor Annual #2)
“And stop by HR on your way out so we can get your feedback!” (X-Factor #21)
Creepiest powersuits? Creepiest powersuits. (X-Factor #21)
You tried, buddy. (X-Factor #22)
YA THINK, SCOTT? (X-Factor #22)
Reluctant hero Boom Boom is so great. (X-Factor #22)
Look, she’s seen Die Hard, okay? (X-Factor #22)
Even though we know who this dude is gonna turn out to be, the escalation is legitimately pretty creepy. (X-Factor #22)
No, really? (X-Factor #22)
The official debut of Archangel! (X-Factor #23)
“I made it myself, out of RUBY QUARTZ JELLO!” (X-Factor #23)
You can almost hear the portentous minor chord at the end. (X-Factor #23)
NEXT WEEK: The final episode of Secret Convergence on Infinite Podcasts!

84 – The Fourth Horseman

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 11/29/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 11/29/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which Franklin Richards is the center of a disproportionate number of X-Men specials; Quicksilver without powers is comedy gold; Luna is the best little girl on the moon (but it’s kind of a low bar); Jay accidentally cares about the Inhumans; Jean Grey may or may not be the Wesley Willis of X-Factor; Cameron Hodge’s exit interview is weirdly professional; Boom Boom is the best reluctant hero; and Archangel makes his debut.

X-PLAINED:

  • Quicksilver’s team associations
  • Knights of Wundagore
  • Chthon
  • X-Factor Annual #2
  • X-Factor #21-23
  • The Inhumans
  • Black Bolt
  • Medusa
  • Crystal
  • Lockjaw
  • QWOP Quicksilver
  • Leech’s wildly inconsistent powers
  • Gorgon
  • Luna
  • Headbutting ghosts, or, why sentence structure matters
  • Maximus
  • Several methods of mind control
  • A really terrible place for a date
  • Cameron Hodge: Bureaucrat Supervillain
  • The last will & testament of Warren Worthington III
  • Another superpower pet peeve
  • A theoretical team-up we would love to see
  • The Arlington Interactive Museum of (evil) Science
  • Some really dumb armor
  • Archangel
  • Our preferred third Summers brothers

NEXT WEEK: Secret Convergence on Infinite Podcasts!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 83 – Live at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 11/22/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
It is reasonably appropriate to judge this book by its cover. (X-Men Annual #3)
Spot the references. (X-Men Annual #3)
ARKON THE MAGNIFICENT! (X-Men Annual #3)
I guess when your job is cleaning up after Tony Stark, the existential hellscape of Funky Winkerbean starts to feel like a vacation. (X-Men Annual #3)
DON’T TOUCH THE HAIR! (X-Men Annual #3)
You’d think the Danger Room would have ANY KIND OF REMOTELY FUNCTIONAL SAFETY PROTOCOLS BY NOW, but no. (X-Men Annual #3)
The art makes a really, really good counterpoint to the conversation in these panels. (X-Men Annual #3)
Cyclops encouraging other characters to talk about their feelings: NEVER NOT FUNNY. (X-Men Annual #3)
Don’t forget to watch TV, kids! You never know when it’ll come in handy! (X-Men Annual #3)
The best thing about this panel is Wolverine’s understated “Geez.” (X-Men Annual #3)
“I mean, look, there’s a really good chance we’re just going to straight-up explode.” (X-Men Annual #3)
Starman #4 is about a Hawaiian shirt that is a gateway to heaven. In related news, you should all go read Starman RIGHT NOW, because it is WONDERFUL.
If you’re not hearing Queen in your head right now, I don’t really understand you. (X-Men Annual #3)
Things that are not awesome about this fight panel: NONE OF THEM. (X-Men Annual #3)
SHE’LL SAVE EVERY ONE OF US! (X-Men Annual #3)
“Oh, y’know, just stole a dragon from some flying commandos. No big deal.” (X-Men Annual #3)
This planet sucks. (X-Men Annual #3)
Wolverine, that’s not… y’know what? Never mind. (X-Men Annual #3)
I’m pretty sure that no writer will ever reference this again. (X-Men Annual #3)
“Well, that, or the colorist forgot to make it red, which also happens sometimes.” (X-Men Annual #3)
Somewhere in the multiverse, there’s a universe where the X-Men went, “Fuck it. Let’s just go be space barbarians.” (X-Men Annual #3)
NEXT WEEK: This jerk.

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

83 – Live at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival

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1_Arkon
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available until 11/22/2015 at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

 

In which we travel back in time to 1979 for our second live convention special; X-Men Annual #3 desperately needs a Queen soundtrack; George Perez draws great Banshee; Polemachus is kind of a bullshit planet; we dream of a world without Funky Winkerbean; Cyclops’s costume does not mix and match well; if you can be someone else, you should probably be Brian Blessed; Colossus gets a dragon; and Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival is awesome.

X-PLAINED:

  • X-misadventures in Las Vegas
  • X-Men Annual #3
  • Arkon the Magnificent
  • Isadore and Irmagarde Uhman
  • The Comical Books
  • Polemachus the planet vs. Polemachus the person
  • Funky Winkerbean
  • Several logistical problems with the Danger Room
  • MVP Cyclops
  • Some very good visual counterpoint to dialogue
  • Paperboard lightning bolt disambiguation
  • Jay’s favorite Starman story
  • X-title and music pairings
  • Imperions
  • Visual perspective in grand melees
  • How to order a meal on Polemachus
  • One specific variation on Cyclops’s powers
  • The X-Men as Spinal Tap
  • Space-barbarian eyewear
  • The annual cabinet
  • The most appropriate X-team placement for Funky Winkerbean
  • Best worst characters
  • Our favorite X-Force teams
  • Secret Convergence on Infinite Podcasts

NEXT WEEK: Somehow, Cameron Hodge manages to get even worse.

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

Halloween X – 2015

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As is our annual tradition, we put out a last-minute call on Twitter for pictures of your X-Men Halloween costumes, and dang are you a stylish bunch! Check out the full roundup–along with some really spectacular jack-o’-lanterns–below!

@kissmyrice specified that she is nice Emma Frost, not the one who’ll blow up your pony without a second thought.
The new X-kids never get enough love, so we were super psyched to see @MutantAnomaly‘s kickass Nature Girl!
@speedheart takes Ororo’s rebellious phase in a different direction with Storm: The College Years!
Speaking of X-Men who don’t get nearly enough cosplay love, check out the always-awesome @Elana_Brooklyn and her husband as Siryn and Forge!
@Elana_Brooklyn tells us that the costumes were for an X-themed party, which–appropriately–involved at least one awkward family reunion!
@galaxytravelin‘s stylin’ Skids makes us SO happy.
@JeffLoveness, who wrote one of our favorite Cyclops stories of the past year, is NOT throwing away his shot as Hamilclops. (Alas, Loveness tells us there was no Burrverine. Maybe next year!)
Not only did @rememberyhorsenail Quentin Quire’s signature look, but he’s got the glare down to a science!
@punkerthanthou (as Cyclops, appropriately!) organized this kickass X-group!
A Phoenix jack-o’-lantern where the firebird aura is actual fire? Yes, please, @eisoj5!
Another really spectacular use of the medium–and the best Cyclops costume–from @half_panda22!
There are better pictures of our costumes (Wirt from Over the Garden Wall, and Speed Racer, respectively), but we couldn’t resist the accidental glowing red eyes in this one.

ETA: I know I missed a handful–and a few came in after the post was done–so if you’ve got an X-costume that’s NOT here, please drop a link in the comments below!

As Mentioned in Episode 81 – The Kids Are All Right, with Dennis Hopeless

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Listen to the episode here.

LINKS & FURTHER READING