Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: grant morrison

As Mentioned in Episode 519 – Beautiful People With Incredible Powers

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Illustration by David Wynne
And so it begins. (New X-Men #114)
That is a damn stylish credits page. (New X-Men #114)
Cerebra. (New X-Men #114)
Well, fuck. (New X-Men #114)
Charles Xavier vs. Cassandra Nova, round 2 (although you won’t officially find that out ’til later). (New X-Men #114)
These covers! (New X-Men #115)
I really like the way Morrison writes these two. (New X-Men #115)
Alas, Ugly John, we hardly knew ye. (New X-Men #115)
She’s so evil, but also so fucking weird. (New X-Men #115)
The original Negasonic Teenage Warhead. (New X-Men #115)
So, that happened. (New X-Men #115)
It may be improbable, but I legitimately like the negative-space X as a statement. (New X-Men #116)
The return of Emma Frost. (New X-Men #116)
One of the most lingering images of the run. (New X-Men #116)
Oh. That’s bad. (New X-Men #116)
That’s not Charles Xavier. (New X-Men #116)
NEXT EPISODE: Beast has a bad day.

 

519 – Beautiful People With Incredible Powers

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Illustration by David Wynne

In which we start the Morrison Run; Professor X gets his hands on Chekhov’s gun; Cassandra Nova raises X-villains to a new level of weird; and humanity is running on borrowed time.

X-PLAINED:

  • No-Girl
  • New X-Men #114-116
  • Grant Morrison and their approach to the X-Men
  • Superhero fashion
  • Cerebra
  • Beast’s new look
  • Ugly John
  • Interpersonal dynamics
  • Cassandra Nova (somewhat)
  • Donald Trask
  • Master Molds
  • Wild Sentinels
  • Emma Frost (more) (again)
  • Negasonic Teenage Warhead (the original)
  • The fall of Genosha
  • Secondary mutations
  • The most strapless bra of all time
  • The Black Bug Room
  • Summers problems
  • Official X-Men and the designation thereof
  • Wonder Man and mutants

NEXT EPISODE: Beast has a bad day

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As Mentioned in Episode 29 – Mutant in a Box

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We’re having a stealth / plainclothes cosplay contest, with guest X-Pert judge Kris Anka, and prizes from TVStoreOnline! Submissions are open ’til November 7. JOIN US.
Yep, that’s our Fantomex.
This ridiculous motherfucker who is now THREE PEOPLE. What the hell, Fantomex?
This isn’t Cyclops’s worst vacation. Hell, it’s not even his worst honeymoon. (X-Men #176)
Wolverine and Mariko: dealing with relationship issues like grown-ups. We choose to believe that wearing a mask that looks like your hair is a prerogative of adulthood. (X-Men #176)
You’d REALLY THINK Scott would know what an octopus looks like by now, but I guess he was blindfolded for a lot of his time in Octopusheim. (X-Men #176)
Scott! The sea’s a lovely lady when you play in her. But if you play with her, she’s a BITCH! Play in the sea, yes, but never play with her. You’re lucky to be here! You’re lucky to be ALIVE! (X-Men #176, with sincere apologies to the late, great Spalding Gray. Seriously, go watch Swimming to Cambodia. And Monster in a Box. And Gray’s Anatomy. Now.)
Yeah, good luck with that, Sparky. (X-Men #176)
Val Cooper: Definitely the sister of Special Agent Dale Cooper.
The early ’80s: A more innocent time, when all a hero needed was coke and epic shoulder pads, and you could kill Wolverine by slitting his throat. (X-Men #177)
Why is Alex dressed like an elf? (X-Men #177)
As diversions go, that’s a pretty impressively orchestrated one. Go, Brotherhood! (X-Men #177)
CYCLOPS WHAT THE HELL IS EVEN WRONG WITN YOU (X-Men #178)
“Get the asprin, Rogue. I feel a crossover event coming on.” (X-Men #178)
Awyeah. (X-Men #178)
Why is Kitty wearing an unbranded Fantastic 4 costume? Who the hell knows? Do we even need a reason, at this point? (X-Men #178)
99% sure Cyndi Lauper wrote a song about this. (X-Men #179)
This is innocuous in context, until you realize he’s sniffing a dead teenager in a morgue. (X-Men #179)
Aw, Leech. (X-Men #179)
LOOK AT THIS FUCKING WIZARD LOOK AT HIS HAT LOOK AT HOW HE CLEARLY BELONGS ON THE SET OF FLASH GORDON (X-Men #179)
Professor Xavier engages in a rare moment of being absolutely delightful. (X-Men #178)
I like to imagine that Kitty and Doug’s side adventures are the subject of a mid-’80s feature film starring Jenny Lewis. (X-Men #180)
Sky closure is the best closure. (X-Men #180)
Literally the only worthwhile panel in all twelve issues of Secret Wars. (Secret Wars #1)
“I’ll see she’s raised as if she were my own. HOPE SHE LIKES BEING DROWNED IN PUDDLES.” (X-Men #181)
Oh. That guy. Again. (X-Men #181)
This Erica Henderson drawing of Warlock and Cypher doing Troy and Abed in the Morning may be the single nerdiest thing Rachel owns, and that’s saying something.
Next week: These delightful scamps.

29 – Mutant in a Box

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In which Cyclops is the worst at vacations, Mystique is your favorite MurderMom™, Havok is eternally ABD, Kitty Pryde does science, Callisto doesn’t give a damn about her bad reputation, Xavier has a Troy Barnes moment, Miles may be the only person with fond memories of Secret Wars, and Rachel finally gets to make Spalding Gray references.

X-Plained:

  • Fantomex
  • Uncanny X-Men #176-181
  • Reset issues
  • Scott Summers’s second-worst honeymoon
  • Cephalopod disambiguation
  • Project Wideawake (more) (again)
  • Valerie Cooper
  • Foreshadowing
  • Public displays of affection
  • Leech
  • How X-Men age
  • A sewer wizard
  • Doug Ramsey
  • Secret Wars
  • Japan
  • Mystique’s kids
  • Douglock
  • Mystique’s powers
  • The other X-Men Forever

Next Week: The New Mutants gets weird!

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

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Send us your submissions to the Stealth / Plainclothes Cosplay Contest until the end of the day on Friday, November 7!

1 – The Strangest Podcast of Them All

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In which we begin at the beginning: everything clicks with #3, Professor Xavier is a jerk, Magneto is a fearless fashionista, Cyclops gets a name, Jean Grey has a chronic case of the Silver Age, and allegorical diversity is not enough.

X-Plained:

  • Mutant genetics and taxonomy
  • Practical semantics of “X-Men”
  • Charles Xavier’s equally dubious ethics and decorating choices
  • Superhero couture of the Atomic Age
  • Why Cyclops can’t control his powers
  • The miracle of comic-book magnetism
  • A problematic analogy
  • X-books for beginners
  • Snow grenades
  • The word “yaybo”
  • The mystery of the ubiquitous plaid suit

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!