In which Elisabeth hacks the Matrix; Magneto is the worst at small talk; Hela overreaches; parents just don’t understand human speech; everything is better with super-rings; Selene has a Xena moment; almost anything can be solved with a kiss; and even if you transform Doug Ramsey into a giant red murder monster, he’ll still be a huge nerd.
New Mutants Forever #1-5
Magma’s revised family tree
Updating the New Mutants
The delicate balance of the Forever line
A flawed cultural analogy
Tiberius the Generic
Several profoundly dubious costumes
Skull v. Skull
The dearth of canonically asexual X-characters
NEXT EPISODE: Different Nazis
Miles here – in one of the questions for this episode, I conflated asexuality and aromanticness. Those are totally two different things. Apologies – I’m still learning!
You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!
In which Miles follows his heart; subtext becomes text; and we celebrate a very special milestone with a very special guest.
NEXT EPISODE: Gossamyr
For a comprehensive visual companion to this episode, we recommend reading Uncanny X-Men #94-279, 381-389, and 444-473; X-Men vol. 1 #59; X-Men vol. 2 #1-3, 100-109, and 165; New Mutants #1-54, 63, and 81; Excalibur vol. 1 #1-19, 21-25, 27, and 32-34; X-Treme X-Men #1-46; X-Men Forever #1-25; and dozens of additional annuals, miniseries, ongoings, one-shots, graphic novels, and more.
While the Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence in X-Cellence* officially made their debut in last week’s Giant-Size Special, we wanted to take a moment to revisit them: the X-books, creators, and concepts that rocked our year.
If your name–or a project to which you contributed–appears on the list below,** and you would like an actual, physical Corbeau Award to hang on your wall, please drop us a line, and we will make and mail you one. It will be beautiful and classy as hell, it will definitely involve some glitter glue.
And so, without further ado, it is out great pleasure to present:
THE 2014 SUPER DOCTOR ASTRONAUT PETER CORBEAU AWARDS FOR EXCELLENCE IN X-CELLENCE!
Best X-Writer – Brian Michael Bendis, for Uncanny X-Men, All-New X-Men, and general line architecture
Best X-Artist – Kris Anka, for Uncanny X-Men and general visual and costuming impact
Best X-Colorist – Chris Sotomayor, for Cyclops
Best X-Letterer (Now and Forever) – Tom Orzechowski, for everything ever forever
Jean Grey Award for Creative Resurrection – Nightcrawler (Amazing X-Men)
Best New Character – Forget-Me-Not (X-Men Legacy #300)
Best Complete Arc – Cyclops #1-5, by Greg Rucka, Russell Dauterman, Chris Sotomayor, Carmen Carnero, et. al.
Best Soap Opera – All-New X-Men, by Brian Michael Bendis et. al.
Silver Lining Award – Death of Wolverine: The Logan Legacy #4, by Marguerite Bennett, Juan Doe, et. al.
Golden Retcon – X-Men: Days of Future Past
Irene Adler Award for Most Anticipated Future Run – G. Willow Wilson onX-Men
About Damn Time – Storm, by Greg Pak et. al.
Cyclops Has a Good Day Award – Wolverine and the X-Men #40, by Jason Aaron, Pepe Larraz, et. al.
Best Listeners of Any Podcast Ever – YOU**
CLASSIC CORBEAUS (for older X-material covered in the podcast during 2014)
Harvey and Janet Award for Best Walk-On – The staff and guests of the Heartbreak Hotel
Lost Treasure – Beauty and the Beast, by Ann Nocenti, Don Perlin, et. al.
Sure, Why Not? – The Leprechauns of Cassidy Keep
Still the Best Issue After All These Years – Uncanny X-Men vol. 1 #137
*Did you know you can just straight-up make up your own awards and give them to whomever you want? The Internet is awesome, y’all.
**LOOK! IT’S A COLORING CONTEST!
Listeners, while we love you dearly, we do not love you quite enough to make and mail all roughly ten-thousand of you your own Corbeaus. If you want a Corbeau of your very own, you’ve got two options:
1) Make your own, using the art below. We officially certify that it will be official and the Real Deal, and if anyone challenges you on that, we will glare meaningfully in their direction.
2) Show us your coloring skills. That’s right. It’s a CORBEAU COLORING CONTEST. Color the following image using in any medium you want: digital art, crayons, spray-painted macaroni–the sky is the limit. E-mail us a picture of your work at xplainthexmen(at)gmail(dot)com, with the subject line CORBEAU COLORING CONTEST, by January 14 January 21. The listener whose Corbeau comes closest to the transcendent perfection of its namesake will receive a physical Corbeau–glitter glue and all–to hoard privately or share with their remaining nine-thousand-odd peers at their discretion.
Alternately, Rachel made this in Blingee. Use it as you see fit:
Starting July 31, new episodes of Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men will be available every Thursday at Comics Alliance! We’ll also continue to release them every Sunday–along with the visual companion–at our site, as well as iTunes, and Stitcher, ; but if you want to be the first kid on the block to hear ’em, head to ComicsAlliance.com on Thursdays!
Meanwhile, want to help support the podcast–and get additional content and cool swag? Please take a minute to check out our Patreon campaign! We’ve got some very cool rewards, but the best part–we think–are the Milestone goals, which are sort of like the X-Men team-up moves of Patreon: giant-size annuals, written posts, original art, a print zine, and more!
“What wardrobe?” “My point exactly.” (X-Men #148)
Lee Forrester: The Best Ever. (X-Men #148)
Good luck with that, buddy. (X-Men #148)
“No, but you’ll be a sorcerer with your own Hell dimension! Won’t that be nice?” (X-Men #148)
Hi, Siryn! (X-Men #148)
Caliban and the Morlocks: Introducing the concept of passing privilege to the mutant metaphor. (X-Men #148)
last-page-of-the-issue Magneto reveals are the gift that keeps on giving. (X-Men #148)
Professor Xavier, doing our job for us. (X-Men #149)
KITTY PRYDE, YOU ARE DELIGHTFUL. (X-Men #149)
Prydeslaught, by Logan Bonner: Professor X’s unchecked rage, plus the id of a 13-year-old Kitty Pryde. We dearly wish this were canon.
Let us never speak of this again. (X-Men #149)
Still kinda bummed we didn’t make more Ann Veal jokes about this guy. “Who?” (X-Men #149)
Even his villain speech is kinda forgettable, but we will take literally any excuse to post more pictures of Kitty’s amazing outfit, so. (X-Men #149)
In which we announce exciting new developments, the ASPCA should probably have a word with Emma Frost, Kitty Pryde gets a new costume, Lee Forrester is still the best, Cyclops has an octopus on his chest, Magneto has a change of heart, and Wolverine embraces transhumanism.
The Thomas Hardy novel of superhero comics
Disco Dinner Clubs
Caliban (a little)
Kitty Pryde’s amazing fashion sense
Garokk the Unremarkable
Why Magneto is Interesting
The Massachusetts Academy
The Persona Exchange Gun
Harvey and Janet
How to win $2500 in 1980
You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.