Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: James Proudstar

As Mentioned in Episode 489 – The Eyepatch of Love

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I can suspend disbelief about a lot of things, but I just don’t buy Sexually Irresistible Pete Wisdom, eyepatch or no. (X-Force #102)
Alastair Stuart has not aged well. (X-Force #102)
Please enjoy these meatspore stormtroopers. (X-Force #102)
It’s not just me, right? This cover is sketchy. (X-Force #103)
Sam’s face in this panel is gonna haunt my nightmares. (X-Force #103)
It’s Dr. Niles Roman! (X-Force #103)
Wellp. (X-Force #104)
Definite Slimer vibes. (X-Force #104)
And that’s the end* of Pete Wisdom.

*nope

(X-Force #104)

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men!

489 – The Eyepatch of Love

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In which Pete Wisdom does his best Charles Xavier; Alastair Stuart has not aged well; San Francisco has monster problems; and there’s probably an alternate universe where Dr. Niles Roman fronts a metal band for toddlers.

X-PLAINED:

  • The value of Pete Wisdom
  • X-Force #102-105
  • Revolution (more) (again)
  • Counter X (more) (again)
  • Flight
  • Elf stuff
  • Alastair Stuart (again)
  • The eyepatch of love
  • Science City 53
  • Meatspore stormtroopers
  • Project Cuckoo
  • Dr. Niles Roman
  • Tactics vs. Strategy
  • Monster problems
  • The Violence Machine
  • The apparent death of Pete Wisdom
  • What a good X-Force HQ needs
  • The most X-treme possible lineup

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men!

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As Mentioned in Episode 482 – The Mutant Gene for Murder

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“Mr. Wisdom would have wanted me to show this much chest.” (X-Force #106)
A fitting tribute from Romany Wisdom (Mark II). (X-Force #106)
Come on, Cable totally would have trained X-Force on Robert’s Rules of Order. (X-Force #106)
“Well, you’re looking at a version of it that doesn’t yet have nearly enough black leather.” (X-Force #106)
Upon further consideration: yeah, Meltdown totally designed all of these. (X-Force #107)
Bedlam’s new powers! (X-Force #107)
Meltdown’s new powers! (X-Force #107)
Proudstar’s new powers! (X-Force #107)
“You see, I have the mutant gene for murder.” (X-Force #107)
Domino understood the fashion assignment. (X-Force #108)
Remember, you can shoot the eyeball for double damage. (X-Force #108)
Spy stuff. (X-Force #108)
First you murder all of the children at this birthday party, and then you have the gall to criticize the host’s baking? (X-Force #108)
Meet these guys! But don’t get too attached. (X-Force #108)
But that doesn’t… it looks nothing like… ah, never mind. (X-Force #108)
You can read the entirety of New Mutants and X-Force as the history of Cannonball learning to turn. (X-Force #109)
I bet he’s using his Cable voice for this threat. (X-Force #109)
Tsung has probably seen The Matrix like, a lot. (X-Force #109)
That’s our Tabitha! (X-Force #109)
Mr. Giger sends his regards. (X-Force #109)
NEXT TIME: Claremont’s back!

482 – The Mutant Gene for Murder

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In which Pete Wisdom canonically smells weird; we are inordinately entertained by a villain; everyone levels up their superpowers; and you probably shouldn’t shave the logo of your secret super team into the side of your head.

X-PLAINED:

  • Nasty Boys disambiguation
  • X-Force #106-109
  • Counter X (more) (again)
  • Shockwave (more) (again)
  • Turn-of-the-millennium cool
  • X-Force (more) (again)
  • How to dress for funerals, I guess?
  • How Pete Wisdom smells
  • Romany Wisdom (again)
  • Marcus Tsung
  • Mind bullets
  • Nightman
  • Our first audience challenge in a really long time
  • A bad nickname
  • X-Force’s new looks
  • A thing growing out of Domino’s back
  • Several enigmas shrouded in mystery
  • The worst birthday party
  • Abel, Baker, and Charlie
  • Fish
  • The Factory
  • Telepathic “voices”
  • The miracle of magnetism

NEXT EPISODE: The return of Chris Claremont!

LISTENERS! We want to hear your Marcus Tsung murder ballads! Send ‘em to [email protected] with the subject line MUTANT MURDER BALLAD, and we’ll stick ‘em on the web or play ‘em on the show!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 475 – Cross-Time Crisis

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If ever there was a time to bring back Bill Sienkiewicz for a cover… (X-Force #99)
Look at that varied crowd of background characters! And also that pig backpack! (X-Force #99)
Black toner cartridge has been depleted. Please replace black toner cartridge. (X-Force #99)
Is there a ghost in that necklace? Or maybe Malice 2.0? We’ll never know. (X-Force #99)
Sometimes, the bear eats you. (X-Force #99)
Don’t apologize for your awesome fantasy world, Arcadia! It’s great! (X-Force #99)
Creeeeepy doll. (X-Force #99)
Hi, Triune Understanding subplot! Bye, Triune Understanding subplot! (X-Force #99)
Not with a whimper, but with a bang and also a lot of narration. (X-Force #99)
Meet Dani, Dani, Dani, and Dani. (X-Force #99)
The Queen of the Star Swords: multiversal conqueror and also heavy metal album cover subject. (X-Force #100)
That’s all we get to see of the Queen of the Star Swords’ citadel. Looks like it’s probably pretty cool, though, right? (X-Force #100)
Less spiky than in the present day, but still a good look, Queen. (X-Force #100)
And that’s it for the resurrected-Juliana subplot. At least this one gets a satisfying, if sad, conclusion. (X-Force #100)
Well, the inside of the citadel looks pretty cool, at least! (X-Force #100)
Meet X-Force of Earth-130000! (X-Force #100)
It’s X-Force of Earth-8280, we think! Maybe Cannonball was supposed to be Cypher? (X-Force #100)
The saddest X-Force, numerical reality designation unknown. (X-Force #100)
X-Force of Earth-10003, AKA the Pete Wisdom-verse. (X-Force #100)
X-Force of… a lot of places. Fight! (X-Force #100)
“I’ll zap you so hard you’ll turn into a baby!” (X-Force #100)
G’Journey, Cable of Earth-3100… (X-Force #100)
…and G’Journey, John Francis Moore’s X-Force. (X-Force #100)
NEXT TIME: Mondo’s back, for the first time!

475 – Cross-Time Crisis

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Meet Dani, Dani, Dani, and Dani. (X-Force #99)

In which we wrap up John Francis Moore’s run on X-Force; the Demon Bear returns (kinda); four Moonstars are not in fact better than one; the Queen of Star Swords is an extremely rad villain; and X-Force takes a very contained multiversal tour.

X-PLAINED:

  • Multiversal canon
  • X-Force #99-100
  • The Demon Bear (more) (again)
  • Arcadia DeVille (more) (again)
  • Mary Weather
  • Fenwick
  • Meridian
  • The Queen of Star Swords
  • The Cathedral
  • Cable (but not that Cable)
  • The X-Forces of several universes
  • Earth-3100
  • Earth-10003
  • Earth-130000
  • Earth-8280
  • Earth-23100
  • Non-mutants on the X-Men
  • The provenance of the Brood X-men

NEXT EPISODE: Mondo! (The real one, this time.)

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 470 – Large Adult Men

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Nipples? Spigots? Weirdly evenly spaced barnacles? You be the judge! (Cable #73)
Neither that font nor that neck is acceptable. (Cable #73)
The fonts in this book are killing me. (Cable #73)
Hug #1. (Cable #73)
Hug #2. (Cable #73)
Perspective? I hardly know ‘er! Wait. Damnit. (Cable #73)
What’s REALLY on the CD? Tell us in the comments! (Cable #73)
Caliban: Tailor of Apocalypse! (Cable #73)
The juxtaposition between the art and text in this pane is extremely funny. (Cable #73)
Quick-change! (Cable #74)
Deathbird, or possibly Warbird now. (Cable #74)
Whoops. (Cable #74)
He looks so over it. (Cable #74)
Ewwwww. (Wolverine #145)
He does look pretty rad, though. (Wolverine #145)
THAT HORSE (Wolverine #145)
Large man being large. (Wolverine #145)
The first time the new claws come out. (Wolverine #145)
NEXT EPISODE: We couldn’t put it off forever.

LINKS & FURTHER NONSENSE

470 – Large Adult Men

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In which Cable may or may not have been a spokesperson for AT&T; it’s impossible to draw a CD dramatically; Wolverine gets his adamantium back; Apocalypse says the thing; and we probably can’t keep putting off The Twelve forever.

X-PLAINED:

  • One way to dispose of a corpse
  • Cable #73-74
  • Wolverine #145
  • Cable (more) (again)
  • Poor font choice
  • Sarcophagus nipples
  • Caliban (more) (again)
  • Impromptu tailoring
  • A cliched vignette
  • People talking on couches
  • A compact disc
  • Unpleasant reunions
  • An impressive outfit
  • Prior generations of horsemen of Apocalypse
  • Wolverine (more) (again)
  • How Wolverine ended up a horseman of Apocalypse
  • Apocalypse’s aesthetic
  • Wolverine vs. Hulk (yet again)
  • Which version of Magik was on Krakoa
  • An X-Men pitch in the style of Spidey and his Amazing Friends

NEXT EPISODE: The Twelve begins!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 464 – The Cigarettes of Damocles

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The life of a Lyft driver is wild, man. (X-Force #96)
“Weirdest cigarette I ever seen.” (X-Force #96)
So Thomas/Tyler Guthrie is the Super Saiyan version of Sam? (X-Force #96)
Somebody call Occult Animal Control! (X-Force #96)
The award for Most Dramatic Lounging goes to… (X-Force #96)
Okay, Deviants, just because you look cool doesn’t mean you’re allowed to be bigoted jerks. (X-Force #96)
Sledge is wearing his ass-kicking fringe. (X-Force #96)
Lucas owns better socks – he just wears these for effect. (X-Force #96)
What we like about Selene is that she’s subtle. (X-Force #97)
Wow, healthcare really is better in other countries. (X-Force #97)
Hey, it’s a The Predator! Hello, The Predator! (X-Force #97)
Ah, so that’s how Ash Wednesday works! (X-Force #97)
Does this junkyard robo-dog fight contribute to the plot? No. Is it awesome? Obviously. (X-Force #97)
Selene is seriously never in a normal position! And we love it. (X-Force #97)
I’m pretty sure that Odysseus’s powers just made a BOI-OI-OING sound. (X-Force #97)
GNORFF (X-Force #97)
Yeah, DaCosta is da best! (X-Force #98)
Storm : Enclosed Spaces :: Cannonball : Dying Miners (X-Force #98)
Sunspot attends Selene’s art gallery opening, Concerned and X-Treme. (X-Force #98)
I never get tired of how Mephisto wears a trenchcoat like any given World of Darkness character. (X-Force #98)
Oof, that body language. (X-Force #98)
Jeez, I guess Miles could’ve skipped those four years of psychology. (X-Force #98)
YIPE YIPE YIPE (X-Force #98)
“So you see, that’s where the trouble began. That smile. That damned smile.” (X-Force #98)
NEXT TIME: Prepare to be Astonished! Maybe!

464 – The Cigarettes of Damocles

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In which X-Force is kind of silly; that really isn’t what “quantum” means; polite and lawful are two entirely different things, and Sam Guthrie is only one of them; Selene vogues; and the Hellfire Club plays the dead girlfriend card.

X-PLAINED:

  • Blackheart
  • The Damocles Foundation (more) (again)
  • Lucas Bartholomew Guthrie
  • The difference between prisons and jails
  • X-Force #98-98
  • Whether Dr. Octopus enjoys the literary stylings of Elmore Leonard
  • One way to get out of prison
  • The Glitterbox
  • An unsuccessful heist
  • Celestial cigarettes and/or golems
  • Thomas and/or Tyler Zebulon and/or Zeke Guthrie
  • Demon Bears as urban pests
  • Selene, Always Voguing
  • Gatherers
  • Various evil scientists
  • The Sword
  • Junkyard life
  • Lenny Delmonico
  • Psychic rodeos
  • Nightmare chambers
  • Bat sex
  • An offer Sunspot can’t refuse
  • Hank McCoy’s villain arc
  • New Mutant superlatives

NEXT EPISODE: Astonishing X-Men!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!