Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: jean grey

6 – Days of Future Whatever

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In which we more or less prepare you for the upcoming feature film; Rachel Summers is a black hole of continuity; Kitty Pryde breaks the Danger Room; Earth 200500 is clearly the best earth; even the X-Men have no idea what’s going on; First Class Emma Frost is so boring that we forget she exists; wolverines are definitely not wolves; and you can have Rachel’s Community references when you pry them from her cold, dead hands.

X-Plained:

  • Rachel Summers
  • “Days of Future Past”
  • Gravestone engraving standards of 2013
  • The Mostly-New, Mostly-Different Brotherhood of Evil Mutants
  • Another unfortunate hat
  • Causality in the Marvel Multiverse
  • Earths 811, 1191, 295, 311, and 200500
  • Hall monitors with laser rifles
  • How to fix a broken timeline
  • The X-Men cinematic universe, and points of divergence from the comics
  • The one thing X-Men: The Last Stand does right
  • The Xavier Index of Cinematic Continuity
  • The difference between Canis lupus and Gulo gulo
  • A Days of Future Past cinematic cram course
  • Fix-it fic
  • Blink, Bishop, and dark-future mash-ups
  • The enduring appeal of Earth-811
  • The significantly less enduring appeal of Earth-242
  • The Nazi Excalibur of Earth-597

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Next week: Greg Rucka, Cyclops, and Starjammers!

 

As Mentioned on Episode 5 – The Retcon That Walks Like a Man

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Giant-Size X-Men #1. Prepare for forty years of riffs on this cover.
The best-dressed mob in Germany.
And THAT’S how you punch a tractor.
“Oh, y’know. Fight crime, see the world, get your memory rewritten every few weeks, maybe go on a really fucked up date with Dracula…”
When Xavier finds him, Thunderbird is literally wrestling a buffalo to death.
Sunfire’s first appearance, in X-Men #64.
Most of the New & Different X-Men get a full page or two to join the team. Banshee? Two panels. He’s just that chill.
“Think you can just walk away, Wolverine? We’ll come after you with our deadliest weapon yet: Alpha Flight crossovers!”
Wow. You… certainly made some choices there, Professor.
Sunfire is absolutely delightful.
At this point, I’m pretty sure he’s just messing with them for fun.
This is the second of three times Sunfire calls Nightcrawler “Misfit” on one page–which is actually a pretty welcome break from the X-Men referring to each other exclusively by ethnic epithets. Len Wein, DON’T DO THAT.
This jerk.
This is pretty much the platonic ideal of an X-Men fight scene: teamwork, cool powers, and narration busting Kool-Aid-Man-style through the fourth wall.
Fun fact: Polaris will later go on to get an advanced degree in geophysics.
“You know… stuff?”
We see what you did, there.
Moira MacTaggert has opinions about retcons.
Introducing: The Worst Summers Brother
“Hey, kids, want to be superheroes?”
It’s worth noting that Moira’s team’s emergency psychic training regimen includes a Hostess Fruit Pie ad callback.
They are so doomed.
It’s almost like you live with a telepath who messes with people’s memories all the time.
Wait, what? But that’s not how it…
…oh. That explains some things.
Damn, X. That’s cold.
Professor X: Master of the retcon, worst surrogate parent ever.
Sorry ’bout that, guys.
Then Gabriel goes and punches an empire to death.

Further Reading:

Rachel made a separate guide to Kid Vulcan, which you can find here.

Giant Size X-Men #1

X-Men: Deadly Genesis

Cheryl Lynn Eaton on Storm and race

 

5 – The Retcon That Walks Like a Man

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In which the Bronze Age begins; Dave Cockrum is your god now; the band gets together; Sunfire joins the team; cultural sensitivity is not Marvel’s strong suit; Sunfire quits the team; it sucks to be Cyclops; Professor X crosses a moral event horizon; Sunfire joins the team; Ed Brubaker channels Thomas Hardy; you are probably a Summers brother; and Sunfire quits the team.

X-Plained:

  • Bamf-Voltron Nightcrawler
  • Giant-Size X-Men #1
  • The worst hat of the Marvel Universe
  • The Mostly-New, Mostly-Different X-Men
  • A business-casual angry mob
  • The limits of creative good intentions
  • Tractor punching on the Ust-Ordynski Collective
  • The correct spelling of “fine”
  • Canada
  • Sunfire’s utter disdain for everything, including you
  • Krakoa: The Island That Walks Like a Man!
  • Characteristics of good X-fights
  • Yet another miracle of magnetism
  • X-Men: Deadly Genesis
  • Summers Family Continuity (Introductory)
  • More hats
  • The Muir-MacTaggert Research Facility
  • Summers Family Continuity (Intermediate)
  • The Charles Xavier Scale of Supervillainy
  • Relative immunity
  • Wolverine’s ubiquity

AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION:

  • What would you do with thirteen X-Men?
  • Help us find all-ages-friendly Marvel Girl stories!

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

As Mentioned on Episode 4 – American History X-Men

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The Steve Rude covers are the hands-down best part of X-Men: Children of the Atom.
Seriously. This is off the rails. Steve Rude, man.
X-Men: Children of the Atom really, really, really wants to be the Dark Knight Returns of X-Men. It’s not.
X-Men: Children of the Atom tries so hard to make Fred Duncan a noir protagonist. (Hint: nope.)
Bear in mind that Children of the Atom came out in 1999, and is nominally set in the same year.
Oh, hi, guys. (Children of the Atom)
Charles Xavier: the worst ever, forever. (Children of the Atom)
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU HIRED HITLER! (Children of the Atom)
After the Rave-Up, they’re going to go do some crimes, like go get sushi and not pay. (Children of the Atom)
Deep stealth Hank McCoy. (Children of the Atom)
Hank dabbles briefly in victim blaming. (Children of the Atom)
Jack “Tricky Dick” Winters. (Children of the Atom)
Well, yes–that’s sort of the problem. (Children of the Atom)
Magneto chews the scenery and regurgitates it into your brain like you are a baby bird of villainy and he is your mother and I think this metaphor kind of got away from me. (Children of the Atom)
Okay, that’s pretty cool: the opening narration of X-Men #1 closes Children of the Atom.
X-Men: First Class, but not THAT X-Men First Class.
Take THAT, Silver-Age gender politics! (X-Men: First Class)
Even the least creepy version of Professor X is still pretty creepy. (X-Men: First Class)
Aw, these dudes. (X-Men: First Class)
Cyclops #1–a one-shot that’s part of the First Class continuity, in which Cyclops actually has a good day.
For more fun, low-angst X-Men in the spirit of First Class, we recommend the hell out of this X-Men / Power Pack miniseries.
How much do we love X-Men: Season One? SO MUCH.
Jean Grey: Now available with a point of view and distinct personality! (X-Men: Season One)
We also appreciate that X-Men: Season One understands the importance of X-Plaining the X-Men.
This comic book, y’all. (X-Men: Season One)
Iceman: chronically under-appreciated, chronically awesome. X-Men: Season One
Most of all, X-Men: Season One is about a bunch of screwed up teenagers figuring out how to be a team. It’s a really neat book.
No one draws shifty faces like Jamie McKelvie. (X-Men: Season One)
Bobby invents Dance Pants in 2019. Don’t tell him. He needs to stumble on it himself.
Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men t-shirts: Now available! (Stickers, too.)
We Are Comics is a campaign to show—and celebrate—the faces of our community, our industry, and our culture; to promote the visibility of marginalized members of our population; and to stand in solidarity against harassment and abuse. See our full post here.
Next week on Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men!

Links and further reading:

The X-Axis Silver Age X-Men Index (archived)

Marvels

X-Men: Children of the Atom

X-Men: First Class

X-Men: Season One

We Are Comics

Redbubble Shop

As Mentioned in Episode 3 – Cartoons, Lies, and Video Tape

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The X-Men as they appear in the 90s cartoon opening sequence.
We really just never get tired of Cyclops blowing up robots.
Mr. Sinister is here for your logical causality and possibly also your glam rock!
Creepy Gambit would like you to buy a comic book in which he is probably even creepier in that than in the cartoon it’s based on.
Bruce Timm’s love letter to Broadcast Standards & Practices.
Mojo gets meta.
The first-season lineup of X-Men: Evolution.
X-23 is not pleased with your Harley Quinn comparisons.
In 1989, Dwayne McDuffie sent this pitch to Marvel to make a point about some trends pervasive among their black characters.
Ten years after McDuffie’s letter, Marvel introduced Spyke in X-Men: Evolution: A black kid on a skateboard, who is related to the only other black character on the show.
Nothing you tell us will convince us that Lin-Z from Jem and the Holograms is not secretly Dazzler.
Wolverine and the X-Men was a damn fine show, and the fact that it only ran for one season should be a crime with actual, legal repercussions.
Remember that time X-Men: Evolution did a straight-up homage to girl-gang movies? (S2E10, “Walk on the Wild Side”)
Beast sports a Howard the Duck t-shirt to visit Jean Grey in the hospital…
…but testifies before the Senate in briefs. He’s a complex dude.
Jean Grey’s Jim Lee-designed costume is not our favorite.
This is Morph as he appears in the 90s X-Men cartoon. Don’t get too attached.
In the podcast, Rachel said Morph made his comics debut in Exiles, totally forgetting that he’d previously appeared in Age of Apocalypse. Sorry!

We didn’t actually mention this, but you should probably watch it anyway:

For more Chris Sims, check out:

Chris’s X-Men episode guides at Comics Alliance

War Rocket Ajax

Movie Fighters Kickstarter

For more on X-Men, X-Men Evolution, and Wolverine and the X-Men, check out:

X-Men (90s series) on Toonzone

X-Men Evolution on Toonzone

Wolverine and the X-Men on Toonzone

 

3 – Cartoons, Lies, and Video Tape

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Featuring Emergency Backup Co-Host Chris Sims!

In which Rachel and Chris X-plain three cartoons and track a disagreement to its source; Gambit is definitely the worst person you know; Broadcasting Standards and Practices is tired of your death ceremonies; Storm doesn’t have an inside voice; and we finally get around to mentioning that one dude with the claws.

X-Plained:

  • Weaponized creepiness
  • The evolution (and Evolution) of X-Toons
  • Why you hate Cyclops (and Rachel doesn’t)
  • Adaptation overload
  • Broadcast standards, practices, and laser rifles
  • How to order pizza like a weather goddess
  • A paramilitary after-school club
  • G-Rated Wolverine
  • Comics based on cartoons based on comics
  • Morph
  • The Batman Standard
  • The Wolverine and the X-Men trifecta of perfection
  • Why the Mojoverse works better on TV
  • Dazzler’s secret second job
  • Basic jacketry

CORRECTION: In this episode, Rachel mentions that Morph’s first comics appearance is in Exiles. It’s not: he’s in Age of Apocalypse. Mea culpa.

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

1 – The Strangest Podcast of Them All

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In which we begin at the beginning: everything clicks with #3, Professor Xavier is a jerk, Magneto is a fearless fashionista, Cyclops gets a name, Jean Grey has a chronic case of the Silver Age, and allegorical diversity is not enough.

X-Plained:

  • Mutant genetics and taxonomy
  • Practical semantics of “X-Men”
  • Charles Xavier’s equally dubious ethics and decorating choices
  • Superhero couture of the Atomic Age
  • Why Cyclops can’t control his powers
  • The miracle of comic-book magnetism
  • A problematic analogy
  • X-books for beginners
  • Snow grenades
  • The word “yaybo”
  • The mystery of the ubiquitous plaid suit

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!