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411 – Tearaway Pants

May 21, 2023 Jay 6 comments

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In which we actually kind of like a Sabretooth story; we’re not asking for viscera, here; all pants on Earth-616 are tearaway pants; we’d like to see more Wolverine stories about bodily autonomy; Gambit’s hallucinations have hallucinations; and there are probably too many X-books.

X-PLAINED:

Punch-clock villains
Hydro-Man’s secret weakness
411
‘90s fashion
X-Men Unlimited #17-18
X-Men Unlimited vs. annuals
A difficult casting decision
Forge’s neutralizer gun
Costume injuries
Color symbolism? Kinda? I guess?
Mrs. Hoo
Saberine & Wolvertooth
Warren Kenneth Worthington III vs. shirts
How to dress for Earth-616
Hot buttered whatever
Boob foliage
Clones
Very tenacious blood stains
The return of the Angry Claremontean Narrator
Lots of hallucinations
Oscar the Fixer
Hydro-Man
Redemption, symbolic and otherwise
The evolution of Magneto’s name
Our ideal X-line

NEXT EPISODE: Back to the core!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 406 – The Most Dangerous Mini-Game

April 9, 2023 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

So, that’s where he got it! (Wolverine #-1)

I love this design for Sabretooth. (Wolverine #-1)

And also his car. (Wolverine #-1)

Literally nothing is okay at the Blanding/Masters house. (X-Factor #-1)

Mister Sinister lurks in the bushes. (X-Factor #-1)

They’re AT LEAST in their early 20s. (X-Factor #-1)

DAMN, Haley! (X-Factor #-1)

The most dangerous mini-game. (X-Factor #-1)

Alex Summers in a nutshell. (X-Factor #-1)

Wellp, you did that. (X-Force #-1)

I swear I thought this thing was gonna be a red herring. (X-Force #-1)

Everything cute about this issue is also really sad. (X-Force #-1)

How Thunderbird got his code name. (X-Force #-1)

Don’t worry, Tabby; soon you’ll be stealing with the best of ’em! (X-Force #-1)

The Circus of Cameos. (X-Force #-1)

In which John Produstar straight-up wrassles a tiger. (X-Force #-1)

“We also do a lot of crimes, but they’re pretty low-key as comic-book circus crimes go.” (X-Force #-1)

Ugh, this guy. (X-Force #-1)

Naked in Space: The Charles Francis Xavier Story. (X-Men #-1)

Magneto, a sensible fellow, wears clothes in the vacuum of space. (X-Men #-1)

IT NEVER STOPS BEING FUNNY (X-Men #-1)

DRAMATIC! JUXTAPOSITION! (X-Men #-1)

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor hits rock-bottom, again.

LINKS & FURTHER READING

If you want to know more about the man behind the mustache, we recommend the hell out of Abraham Josephine Riesman’s True Believer: The Rise and Fall of Stan Lee.

406 – The Most Dangerous Mini-Game

April 2, 2023 Jay 6 comments

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In which we disagree about the value of Stan Lee intros; everybody wants Wolverine; Mister Sinister lurks; Haley Blanding deserves better; Thunderbird fights a tiger; and Xavier and Magneto do their usual thing.

X-PLAINED:

The Circus of Crime
Stan Lee intros
Wolverine #-1
X-Factor #-1
X-Force #-1
X-Men #-1
Proust vs. Sartre
How Logan joined Alpha Flight
The secret origin of the word “canucklehead.”
USDA, Annex B
Myron MacLain
Logan’s cigars
Yet more continuity errors
Sabretooth’s ridiculous car
The balance of scary and silly
Wolverine’s cowboy hat
Summers family bullshit
The Blandings and/or Masterses
Vince
The Proudstar family
One or more cats named Coyote
The origin of Thunderbird’s totem
Edwin Martynec (again)
Chondu the Magician
Ringmaster
Yet more Xavier and Magneto flashback drama
The bottom of the resurrection queue
Good car-trip episodes

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor continues to make poor decisions

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 403 – Sneaky-Peeky Stuff

March 5, 2023 Miles One comment

Listen to the episode here.

Not a single pouch! Being an intern sucks. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1)

How did they not hear that coming a mile away? (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1)

ASAB (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1)

A transom is a crossbar at the top of a doorframe that separates it from an above-door window. I had to look that up! (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1)

Kitty Pryde is banned from half the department stores in the UK. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1)

Face ID was still working out the kinks in 1997. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1)

You can tell Rigby’s the love interest – look at that hair! (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1)

This is pretty much what Miles’s day job looks like. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1)

“Type ‘cookie’, you idiot!” (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1)

AWOOOOOGA! (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1)

I mean, Kitty’s had worse looks. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1)

Medication, lip gloss, spare underwear, dragon… Kitty just packed the basics. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #2)

Welp, I guess Logan’s new name on the podcast is Wooferino. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #2)

New Yorkers, amirite? (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #2)

“I feel like I’m going meshugge!” (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #2)

It’s a silly comic, but damn if the pacing isn’t genuinely effective. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #2)

“God, Dad! Knock before you come in! (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #2)

Logan x-plains Kitty Pryde & Wolverine. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #2)

That’s handy work! (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #2)

I kinda wish it was a Hello name is sticker instead. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #2)

Still less embarrassing than dating Pete Wisdom. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #3)

Well done, Ogun. You kept up the deception for almost five full seconds. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #3)

Did the Astral Plane used to be this cramped? (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #3)

Lockheed’s helping! (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #3)

I… I mean… sure, fine. Let’s just go with it. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #3)

Every IT department has to deal with that user. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #3)

Spoiler: Ogun does not try. (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #3)

NEXT TIME: Death’s Head II!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

We talked about Kitty and Ogun’s first meeting way back in Episode 28!

403 – Sneaky-Peeky Stuff

March 5, 2023 Miles 7 comments

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In which Shadowcat gets a new miniseries; people don’t talk that way (but probably should); holograms are magic; the Helicarrier gets possessed; Wolverine fights a computer; and Miles and Al pitch live-action X-series.

X-PLAINED:

Possession
Shadowcat (Kitty Pryde) (more) (again)
Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1-3
A surprising helicopter
Frictionless bed sheets
S.H.I.E.L.D. vs. S.H.I.E.L.D. vs. S.H.I.E.L.D.
The word “obstreperous”
The nefarious doings of nasty transom peekers, envelope steamers, and door kickers
Larry Hama dialogue
Rigby Fallon
Yet another return of Ogūn
One way to get from the Brooklyn Bridge to a Helicarrier
Yet another fight on the astral plane
Wolverine vs. technology
The intrinsic power of life, I guess
Visibility of psychic powers
Live-action X pitches

NEXT EPISODE:

Death’s Head II!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 400 – Loud Noises

February 5, 2023 Miles One comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Marauders to the left of me, X-Men to the right, and I’m stuck in the middle with you… (Uncanny X-Men #350)

Listen, Gambit, it was either this or a Tupperware(TM) for that chunk of your brain. (Uncanny X-Men #350)

Their relationship seems healthy. (Uncanny X-Men #350)

Eh, it’s still in better shape than the car Miles drove in high school. (Uncanny X-Men #350)

Where? Oh, there. (Uncanny X-Men #350)

“He’s here again, Professor.” (Uncanny X-Men #350)

Speaking of different eras of the X-Men – check out Julian Totino Tedesco’s decade variant covers! Here’s the 60s… (All-New X-Men #18)

The 70s… (All-New X-Men #18)

The 80s… (All-New X-Men #18)

The 90s… (All-New X-Men #18)

…and the 2000s. (All-New X-Men #18)

After this, it’s off to the Justice Exhibit through the Justice Hall and then to the Justice Shop. If anyone needs the Little Justice’s Room, it’s on the left. (Uncanny X-Men #350)

Thunderbird, sure… but a version of Blink from an alternate universe? (Uncanny X-Men #350)

NOOOOORM! (Uncanny X-Men #350)

I’ve never been picked during jury selection, but I’m pretty sure this is how trials work, right? (Uncanny X-Men #350)

Rogue x-plains Gambit’s dark secret. (Uncanny X-Men #350)

As little sense as Rogue’s decision makes, damn if Joe Madureira (or Andy Smith?) doesn’t make it work anyway. (Uncanny X-Men #350)

Erik the Red was really Erik the Red and Purple! (Uncanny X-Men #350)

Okay, okay – they’re no Cyclops, Wolverine, Storm, Colossus, Nightcrawler, and Thunderbird, but I like them anyway. (X-Men #70)

Dig that speech bubble transition. (X-Men #70)

Cecilia Reyes and Marrow, best of friends. (X-Men #70)

Why don’t more artists work in the telekinetic Phoenix flare? (X-Men #70)

Cecilia takes charge. (X-Men #70)

And you know Sam will 100% pay them back later. (X-Men #70)

I love these three. (X-Men #70)

The cavalry arrives. (X-Men #70)

For once, too much dialogue is a good thing. (X-Men #70)

Gross mutant powers are the best mutant powers. (X-Men #70)

Maggott 2.0, courtesy Joe Kelly. (X-Men #70)

The X-Men: often at their best when their lives are at their worst. (X-Men #70)

NEXT TIME: Generation X vs. Christmas.

NOTES & FURTHER READING:

All that remains of Gambit Cyber Comic: The Hunt for the Tomorrow Stone

400 – Loud Noises

February 5, 2023 Miles 18 comments

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In which legacy numbering is best left alone; all roads lead to the Antarctic; we finally learn Gambit’s big secret; Erik the Red gets yet a third identity; no one soils the Juggernaut; Maggott saves the day; and we have somehow made (technically more than) 400 of these things.

X-PLAINED

Spat
The tragic loss of the Cyber Comics
How not to back up your work
Uncanny X-Men #350
X-Men #70
A shambles
What’s been happening since Operation Zero Tolerance
A very fancy cover
Insufficient outerwear
Senses
Justice as a decorating theme
Baffling statuary
The return of Erik the Red
Erik the Red (again)
Ferris
Gambit’s big secret
A large number of continuity errors
A total dick move
De-icing
Untitled Marrow Game
A big fight
Living room surgery
Legal documents
Favorite anniversary issues
Dangling plot threads

NEXT EPISODE: Generation X vs. Christmas

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 393 – Camping With Uncle Mustang

November 27, 2022 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Aw, man. (Wolverine #115)

Go, Jubilee! (Wolverine #115)

It never really gets old. (Wolverine #115)

Five X-Men in an elevator. (Wolverine #115)

Meet Mustang! (Wolverine #116)

“Hey. Hey. Wake up. Hey.” (Wolverine #116)

Aw, Mustang, no. (Wolverine #116)

Definitely the creepiest version of the Prime Sentinels. (Wolverine #117)

Dr. Whatever-his-name-is and his fancy mad-science lab. (Wolverine #117)

Been a (traumatic) while. (Wolverine #117)

The inevitable finally occurs. (Wolverine #117)

NEXT EPISODE: The Mostly New and Different X-Men!

393 – Camping With Uncle Mustang

November 27, 2022 Jay 8 comments

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In which Operation Zero Tolerance continues; the X-Men take over Wolverine; wolverine is the designated John McClane of the X-Men; torsos are confusing places; and we sincerely hope that Jean Grey got to do some off-panel dating.

X-PLAINED:

Bastion’s priorities
Operation Zero Tolerance (so far)
Wolverine #115-118
How to villainously declaim
Mustang
Roustabouts
Waking up with the X-Men
Where (some) Prime Sentinels come from
Fatality, kind of
Felipe, Arvell, and Helmut
Inevitability
A reunion
Government intervention
Anatomy
Jaz disks
Friendship
Jean Grey’s romantic history
The League of Nations vs. The League of Nathans

NEXT EPISODE: Mostly New and Different X-Men!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!