Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

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As Mentioned in Episode 456 – Until/Unless

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Techno-organic cover #1! (Uncanny X-Men #371)
Cheer up, Chuck – it’s just naptime at your school! I guess they all forgot their red and blue mats. (Uncanny X-Men #371)
I’m not so sure about this plot development, but… she’s just so happy! (Uncanny X-Men #371)
Hey, don’t judge: you look way grosser under your outer layer. (Uncanny X-Men #371)
“Dis was not in Gambit’s horoscope!” (Uncanny X-Men #371)
The Phalanx Covenant by Doctor Seuss. (Uncanny X-Men #371)
Techno-organic cover #2! (X-Men #91)
Take that, Billy G! You know what you did. (X-Men #91)
I love these weird faces and terrifying bone-trees! (X-Men #91)
Oof, brutal. (But nice dress, Rogue!) (X-Men #91)
URRKK indeed! (X-Men #91)
And for one panel, we were joined by the spirit of Bill Sienkiewicz. (X-Men #91)
Techno-organic cover #3! Yep, that’s Colossus’s arm from the last cover – we didn’t realize they connected until our listener Alex pointed it out on the blog! (X-Men Annual 1999)
This montage is way more efficient at describing continuity than our podcast. (X-Men Annual 1999)
Colonel Nicholas J. Fury, leading with guns and crotch. (X-Men Annual 1999)
Red Skull loves the Power Glove. It’s so bad. (X-Men Annual 1999)
Miles learned about the field of neurosurgery’s Thumbtack Technique back in college. (X-Men Annual 1999)
Go, Gadget, Go! (X-Men Annual 1999)
Yes, we know Douglock’s robo-suspenders started out as a miscoloring of his New Mutants uniform, but… they kinda work? (X-Men Annual 1999)
None of these new series will make it past a year. (X-Men Annual 1999)
NEXT TIME: Cecilia’s back!

456 – Until/Unless

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In which there’s nothing inherently wrong with monster-of-the-week; Marrow’s makeover extends to her font; Red Skull gets a Power Glove; Marvel sets up a slate of spinoffs; and you should hire Matt Hunter to produce your podcast!

X-PLAINED:

  • What Danger’s been up to lately
  • Uncanny X-Men #371
  • X-Men #91
  • X-Men Annual 1999
  • Crossover cover design
  • Skrullverine
  • Machine Man
  • Dethlok vs. Dethklok
  • Jack Truman (Agent 18) (to some extent)
  • A nice dress
  • An awkward reunion
  • Gambit as a mentor
  • Billy G.
  • A daring but silly rescue
  • Several upcoming series
  • Marrow’s bone bikini and/or pubes
  • Whether Rogue can absorb animals

NEXT EPISODE: Cecilia Reyes returns from retirement!

Want to hire J&MXPtXM producer Matt Hunter to produce your podcast? Email him!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 455 – Space, Geeks, and Galactus

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Where the streets have no [right angles in their fr]ame (X-Men #89)
“Hey, this gravestone’s taken! Get your own!” (X-Men #89)
Perhaps our very favorite Spider-Man. (X-Men #89)
Still more competent than the Great Lakes Avengers. (X-Men #89)
Kitty meets “Kitty”. (X-Men #89)
PICTURED: the computer lab Jay and Miles worked in back in college. (X-Men #89)
You’re all dead! And wear red! And from your employers you have fled! (X-Men #89)
Just a hell of a nice cover. (Uncanny X-Men #370)
I mean, Fake-Vision’s not wrong. (Uncanny X-Men #370)
“Over”-acting? I don’t understand what that phrase means. (Uncanny X-Men #370)
“As you know, Skrull-Bob…” (Uncanny X-Men #370)
That is an exceptionally Muppet-y Skrull. (Uncanny X-Men #370)
Superbeings to the left of me, space pirates to the right… (Uncanny X-Men #370)
Skrull-ternative medicine. (Uncanny X-Men #370)
Hey, those Skrulls are Muppet-y too! (X-Men #90)
In which Alan Davis draws everybody. (X-Men #90)
Okay, so Professor X’s plan doesn’t work, but… hell of a speech, Chuck. (X-Men #90)
“I said just a little off the top!” (X-Men #90)
Welp, here we go. (X-Men #90)
Who designed this thing?! (X-Men #90)
Well damn. (X-Men #90)
“You come around here often, reflection?” (X-Men #90)
NEXT TIME: Douglock’s back!

455 – Space, Geeks, and Galactus

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In which Roadhouse is basically a Wolverine story; Spider-Man does crimes; space names are derivative; there are lots of good reasons to yell at Professor Xavier; the X-Men do Doctor Who; Galactus is not interested in your puny human feelings; Marrow gets a new look; the Skrulls need a crash course in UI; and we overthink bones.

X-PLAINED:

  • The time the Skrulls did “A Piece of the Action”
  • The trouble with benevolent dictatorships
  • X-Men #89-90
  • Uncanny X-Men #370
  • A New York City that is not in fact New York City
  • “Spider-Man”
  • A ruse
  • Faces
  • Skrull problems
  • Mar-Vell
  • Adam Warlock
  • Sass vs. joviality
  • Skrull Cop City
  • Disguises
  • Nova (Frankie Raye)
  • How Galactus eats planets
  • Condiments
  • Several melees
  • Bone pubes
  • Skrull UI
  • Whether Moopsy could drink Wolverine’s bones
  • X-Musicals

NEXT EPISODE: The return of Douglock!

The Roald Dahl short story whose title Jay couldn’t recall is “Beware of the Dog.”

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

454 – X-Men ’97, Part 2

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SPOILER WARNING: ALL OF THEM, NONSTOP

In which Barry Windsor-Smith is too sexy for television; we know what happens when unstable molecules get struck by lightning; X-Men gets political and does it spectacularly; this Captain America would not sew the cape; Magneto continues to throw things into space; and they kissed and we missed it.

X-PLAINED:

  • Fabian Cortez’s name
  • X-Men ’97 episodes 6-10
  • Lifedeath I & II: a surprising adaptation
  • Varying levels of going in blind
  • A somewhat different and possibly better Forge
  • The Adversary vs. the Owl Queen
  • Stormiest and least-Stormy costumes
  • Professor Charles Xavier, Official Space Boyfriend
  • Colonialism vs. Identity
  • Delayed catharsis
  • The narrative power of altered opening credits
  • What makes allyship effective (and not)
  • Justified mutant anger
  • The worst version of Nina DaCosta
  • What makes Prime Sentinels scary
  • Summers family feels
  • The best damned fight scenes out there
  • Bastion, robo-avatar of conservative white patriarchy
  • Simultaneous crossovers
  • A psychic gay bar
  • A last boss arena
  • Acolyte equivalencies
  • Phoenix Ex Machina
  • Crying
  • Whether Magneto was right
  • Apoca-futures and Apoca-pasts
  • A bulletin board and our hopes for its contents
  • Soft Serve
  • Kitty Pryde’s coffee shop AU
  • X-Men ’97 as the perfect gateway

NEXT EPISODE: Skrulls!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

No visual companion this week!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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453 – X-Men ’97, Part 1

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SPOILER WARNING: ALL OF THEM, NONSTOP

In which we put the comics on hold to take a look at X-Men ’97; it is still always Inferno in here; Wolverine is best used sparingly; a Marvel show finally embraces politics; Wolverine is best in small doses; Madeylne Pryor still always deserves better; Jubilee grows up; and we are all in on this series.

X-PLAINED:

  • “Beyond Good and Evil”
  • X-Men: The Animated Series and our respective feelings about it
  • X-Men ’97, episodes 1-5
  • Watching X-Men ’97 with and without context
  • Making animated Cyclops work
  • The Magneto’s-hair-length morality index
  • Politics
  • Voices
  • Adaptation pacing
  • Agency
  • Abcissa
  • Foreshadowing
  • Time compression
  • Horniest Rogue
  • Death in cartoons
  • A metaphor
  • Nonbinary identity in 1997
  • Character evolution

NEXT EPISODE: Episodes 6-10

No visual companion this week!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 451 – Meanwhile in Another Dimension

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Spoiler: No. (Uncanny X-Men #368)
I need a black-and-white numbered legend for this panel. (Uncanny X-Men #368)
HAMMER PANTS (Uncanny X-Men #368)
And now, for something completely different. (Uncanny X-Men #368)
Specifically, this. (Uncanny X-Men #368)
Well, then. (X-Men #88)
“Good lord!” (X-Men #88)
The Trion. (X-Men #88)
Alan Davis’s Black Tom Cassidy is a looker. (X-Men #88)
Coooooool (X-Men #88)
Storm and Ororo. (Uncanny X-Men #369)
Tentacles from the tentacle dimension. (Uncanny X-Men #369)
THEY WENT IN THROUGH THE FACE (Uncanny X-Men #369)
The Trion, revisited. (Uncanny X-Men #369)
I fuckin’ love it when anyone carries Wolverine like this. (Uncanny X-Men #369)
Juggernaut vs. Jugger-not. (Uncanny X-Men #369)
Whoops. (Uncanny X-Men #369)
NEXT EPISODE: Magneto Rex!

 

451 – Meanwhile in Another Dimension

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In which we remain fascinated by Magneto’s robot butler; murder is Logan’s love language; the Juggernaut punches a hole in reality; Professor Xavier makes it weird; and Storm lectures several gods.

X-PLAINED:

  • Silly mutant powers
  • Uncanny X-Men #368-369
  • X-Men #88
  • Alan Davis’s X-Men run
  • Magneto’s robot butler
  • Joseph’s funeral
  • Nun-sense
  • A voyage to another dimension
  • Eyebrow power
  • Ejulp
  • The Trion
  • The other Gem of Cyttorak that’s like the first one but somehow worse
  • Several comas
  • Juggernaut vs. Juggernaut
  • Evil, kind of
  • Vacationing with X-Men characters
  • Illyana Rasputin and Rachel Summers

NEXT EPISODE: Magneto Rex

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 444 – Damnit, Magnus

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Listen to the episode here.

Domino: wine mom, but also good mom. (X-Force #86)
WRONG FREEZER WRONG FREEZER (X-Force #86)
Theresa Rourke Cassidy, mistress of disguise. (X-Force #86)
Remember how Moonstar’s weird new powers are always accompanied by a cosmic blue glow? This issue doesn’t, and is thus… confusing. (X-Force #86)
Odysseus Indigo, the most dapper of antagonists. (X-Force #86)
Some exceptionally efficient visual storytelling by Jim Cheung. (X-Force #86)
Christmas in March! Well, March for us. December for Colossus. (Uncanny X-Men #365)
Hey, it’s that thing Miles used to draw in middle school! How’d that get there?! (Uncanny X-Men #365)
In which Colossus interrupts a very manly threesome. (Uncanny X-Men #365)
The X-Men X-Plain X-Mas. (Uncanny X-Men #365)
I mean, that’s Rusty Collins, right? (Uncanny X-Men #365)
“My favorite X-Men character? You probably haven’t heard of him.” (Uncanny X-Men #365)
Oof, my emotions… (Uncanny X-Men #365)
Aww. (Uncanny X-Men #365)
Now that is a cover. (X-Men #85)
In which the first page establishes that this story will be a Big Deal. (X-Men #85)
Sorry, Bill… today’s gonna be a rough one. (X-Men #85)
We missed Alan Davis. (X-Men #85)
Uh oh. (X-Men #85)
Heroes. (X-Men #85)
This issue uses juxtaposition perfectly. (X-Men #85)
Magneto gets the answer he wants… and then the answer he doesn’t. (X-Men #85)
NEXT TIME: The Magneto War begins.

LINKS & FURTHER FESTIVITIES

444 – Damnit, Magnus

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In which it’s difficult to flee with soup; Miles may or may not be haunting the X-Men; Colossus collaborates involuntarily; Marrow is full of surprises; Magneto is a dick; Jay continues to carry a torch for Secret Wars: Siege; and you should totally come to our birthday party.

X-PLAINED:

  • Several rather pointed allusions
  • X-Force #86
  • Uncanny X-Men #365
  • X-Men #85
  • Almost Reno, NM
  • Where mutants come from
  • The Aguilar Institute (more) (again)
  • Abandoned towns
  • Mary the telepathic moppet (more) (again)
  • Odysseus Indigo
  • The Damocles Foundation
  • Sibling names
  • The Fundamental Attribution Error
  • A haunting
  • Christmas beer
  • Christmas ghost exquisite corpse
  • Bill Jones
  • A rescue mission
  • Essential stories of the ‘90s
  • Our weird favorites
  • Siege
  • Our upcoming 10th birthday party (more) (again)

NEXT EPISODE: Magneto War begins!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

RSVP to our birthday shenanigans!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!