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As Mentioned in Episode 470 – Large Adult Men

December 1, 2024 Jay 2 comments

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Nipples? Spigots? Weirdly evenly spaced barnacles? You be the judge! (Cable #73)

Neither that font nor that neck is acceptable. (Cable #73)

The fonts in this book are killing me. (Cable #73)

Hug #1. (Cable #73)

Hug #2. (Cable #73)

Perspective? I hardly know ‘er! Wait. Damnit. (Cable #73)

What’s REALLY on the CD? Tell us in the comments! (Cable #73)

Caliban: Tailor of Apocalypse! (Cable #73)

The juxtaposition between the art and text in this pane is extremely funny. (Cable #73)

Quick-change! (Cable #74)

Deathbird, or possibly Warbird now. (Cable #74)

Whoops. (Cable #74)

He looks so over it. (Cable #74)

Ewwwww. (Wolverine #145)

He does look pretty rad, though. (Wolverine #145)

THAT HORSE (Wolverine #145)

Large man being large. (Wolverine #145)

The first time the new claws come out. (Wolverine #145)

NEXT EPISODE: We couldn’t put it off forever.

LINKS & FURTHER NONSENSE

For more about Wolverine, penetration, and pig masculinity, listen to Episode 420 – The Legendary House of Wolverine.

470 – Large Adult Men

December 1, 2024 Jay 8 comments

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In which Cable may or may not have been a spokesperson for AT&T; it’s impossible to draw a CD dramatically; Wolverine gets his adamantium back; Apocalypse says the thing; and we probably can’t keep putting off The Twelve forever.

X-PLAINED:

One way to dispose of a corpse
Cable #73-74
Wolverine #145
Cable (more) (again)
Poor font choice
Sarcophagus nipples
Caliban (more) (again)
Impromptu tailoring
A cliched vignette
People talking on couches
A compact disc
Unpleasant reunions
An impressive outfit
Prior generations of horsemen of Apocalypse
Wolverine (more) (again)
How Wolverine ended up a horseman of Apocalypse
Apocalypse’s aesthetic
Wolverine vs. Hulk (yet again)
Which version of Magik was on Krakoa
An X-Men pitch in the style of Spidey and his Amazing Friends

NEXT EPISODE: The Twelve begins!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 465 – Right in the Fabric

October 20, 2024 Jay Leave a comment

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Death’s new look. (Astonishing X-Men #1)

He just really likes that snowboard, okay? Leave him alone! You’re not his real dad! (Astonishing X-Men #1)

FORESHADOWING! (Astonishing X-Men #1)

The sassiest severed head since Cameron Hodge. (Astonishing X-Men #1)

Meet the Mannite moppets! (Astonishing X-Men #1)

This Final Fantasy-looking motherfucker. (Astonishing X-Men #2)

Weird but rad. (Astonishing X-Men #2)

Sausage! (Astonishing X-Men #2)

Mind control or just psychic startle? You be the judge! (Astonishing X-Men #3)

It’s fine; he’s a Skrull. (Astonishing X-Men #3)

NEXT EPISODE: All things animated Rogue, with Lenore Zann!

465 – Right in the Fabric

October 20, 2024 Jay 11 comments

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In which “Astonishing X-Men” is something of a misnomer; Death has a good look; sometimes you just need a guy who swoops; Miles stops worrying and learns to love Nate Grey; Telekinesis is silly looking; “Wolverine” dies; and nothing really changes.

X-PLAINED:

Astonishing X-Men (miniseries)
Ambience
Nina (again)
Mannites (again)
The third-best way to get out of awkward conversations
The Hulkbuster base
Bastion (again)
Bastion’s worst nightmare
Death (a new one)
Fiddly bits
Cable’s Psimitar
Telekinetic snowboarding
Headcase
Darco
Glub
Beautiful Dreamer
Grace
Totem
Things to do with a severed head
The Changing
The (apparent) death of Wolverine
How to salvage this miniseries
Hypothetical X-crossovers

NEXT EPISODE: Lenore Zann joins us to talk all things Rogue!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

463 – The Fart Ghost That Walks Like a Manhattan

September 22, 2024 Jay 5 comments

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In which Gambit is fundamentally goofy; t’ieves love research; Magneto was ripped; Professor Xavier remains a jerk; Miles attempts to convey something very fundamentally visual in an audio format; Marrow is adorable; the X-Men pretty much disband (again); and a miniseries is the opposite of a vacation.

X-PLAINED:

Where Wolverine went
Gambit Annual 1999
Uncanny X-Men #372
X-Men #92
A lot of backstory
A very cute plastic goose
What Gambit does in his free time
Those weird fluid-filled tubes they put people in all the time for some reason
Gambit’s abs
The fart ghost (Mary Purcell)
Manhattan, Indiana
A very minor continuity error
Fart ghost metaphysics
A very bad idea
A muppetworthy death
Dream’s various ends
X-pajamas
Professional dinosaurs
Thinkers
Theoretical Cyclops-Daredevil team-ups
X-characters recognizable as civilians

NEXT EPISODE: The return of the Damocles Foundation!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 457 – Stinking at the Moon

July 28, 2024 Miles Leave a comment

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Logan should always be a little funny-lookin’. (X-Men Unlimited #24)

He’s a berserker murder-uncle who can’t remember his past – she’s a grumpy doctor who’d rather be anywhere but here! Together, they’re Logan ‘n’ Cici – Thursdays on NBC! (X-Men Unlimited #24)

Seriously, I’d happily watch them argue about anything. (X-Men Unlimited #24)

Cecilia’s secondary mutation is the rare ability to avoid misunderstanding-based fights by using her words. (X-Men Unlimited #24)

Are you sure you’re not having fun, Dr. Reyes? (X-Men Unlimited #24)

Is he… is he biting the landing gear? (X-Men Unlimited #24)

Cecilia’s tertiary mutation is to not take any of your bullshit. (X-Men Unlimited #24)

Even a typo cannot mar this perfect panel. (X-Men Unlimited #24)

Jeez, Magnus! Put on some underwear over your pants! This is indecent! (X-Men Unlimited #24)

“But if there was, Father, rest assured that I would be an eighteenth-level Ranger.” (X-Men Unlimited #24)

Has he been carrying that plant around just hoping he’d have the chance to work it into a metaphor? (X-Men Unlimited #24)

“Just like I used to separate the people I teleported from their clothes!” (X-Men Unlimited #24)

“Fabian, what have I told you about sitting on my porn throne?” (X-Men Unlimited #24)

Nice to see a 1999 Magneto story remember all the super-nuance of his past. (X-Men Unlimited #24)

Jay’s got a point – how did they get Banshee into that thing? (Generation X #51)

Goodbye, old costumes… (Generation X #51)

…Hello, new costumes! (Generation X #51)

And that was it for Gaia. (Generation X #51)

Skin’s facial expression is the platonic ideal of “YIKES!” (Generation X #51)

I’m actually not sure which villain’s outfit is more surprising. (Generation X #51)

Armor’s powers, five years before Armor! (Generation X #51)

NEXT TIME: Some damned fine X-Force.

457 – Stinking at the Moon

July 28, 2024 Miles 7 comments

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In which the theme is too many inkers; Cecilia Reyes has no patience for your bullshit; Genosha’s going to be just fine (it’s not); we would watch a supercut of Fabian Cortez getting punched; we bid an abrupt farewell to Gaia; and comics are exhausting, yet captivating.

X-PLAINED:

Dazzler’s murder trial
X-Men Unlimited #24
The past and future of X-Men Unlimited
Doctor Cecilia Reyes
Ghost Pirate Cap’n Bloodscream
Wolverine and friends
Pushing your kid out of a plane as a basic first aid skill
Banter
The Silver Samurai (Keniuchio Harada)
Sunfire and the Big Hero Six
Projectile-based wordplay
Irene Adler, spoiler machine
Genosha (again)
The Cabinet of Doctor Lensherr
Magneto’s panties
Stupid metaphors
Football stars and their football cars
Magneto’s nuanced and baby-filled past
Generation X #51
Hunter & Tristan Brawn
Helicopter grandparents
Artie & Leech, perpetual moppets
Emma Frost, forever traumatized
Generation X’s new costumes
Gaia as the Bird Boy of Generation X
Peach Momoko’s Ultimate Armor
Sauron and the Lizard’s agendas and fashion
Comic book collecting preferences

NEXT EPISODE: Some damned fine X-Force.

Want to hire J&MXPtXM producer Matt Hunter to produce your podcast? Email him!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 456 – Until/Unless

July 24, 2024 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Techno-organic cover #1! (Uncanny X-Men #371)

Cheer up, Chuck – it’s just naptime at your school! I guess they all forgot their red and blue mats. (Uncanny X-Men #371)

I’m not so sure about this plot development, but… she’s just so happy! (Uncanny X-Men #371)

Hey, don’t judge: you look way grosser under your outer layer. (Uncanny X-Men #371)

“Dis was not in Gambit’s horoscope!” (Uncanny X-Men #371)

The Phalanx Covenant by Doctor Seuss. (Uncanny X-Men #371)

Techno-organic cover #2! (X-Men #91)

Take that, Billy G! You know what you did. (X-Men #91)

I love these weird faces and terrifying bone-trees! (X-Men #91)

Oof, brutal. (But nice dress, Rogue!) (X-Men #91)

URRKK indeed! (X-Men #91)

And for one panel, we were joined by the spirit of Bill Sienkiewicz. (X-Men #91)

Techno-organic cover #3! Yep, that’s Colossus’s arm from the last cover – we didn’t realize they connected until our listener Alex pointed it out on the blog! (X-Men Annual 1999)

This montage is way more efficient at describing continuity than our podcast. (X-Men Annual 1999)

Colonel Nicholas J. Fury, leading with guns and crotch. (X-Men Annual 1999)

Red Skull loves the Power Glove. It’s so bad. (X-Men Annual 1999)

Miles learned about the field of neurosurgery’s Thumbtack Technique back in college. (X-Men Annual 1999)

Go, Gadget, Go! (X-Men Annual 1999)

Yes, we know Douglock’s robo-suspenders started out as a miscoloring of his New Mutants uniform, but… they kinda work? (X-Men Annual 1999)

None of these new series will make it past a year. (X-Men Annual 1999)

NEXT TIME: Cecilia’s back!

456 – Until/Unless

July 21, 2024 Miles 3 comments

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In which there’s nothing inherently wrong with monster-of-the-week; Marrow’s makeover extends to her font; Red Skull gets a Power Glove; Marvel sets up a slate of spinoffs; and you should hire Matt Hunter to produce your podcast!

X-PLAINED:

What Danger’s been up to lately
Uncanny X-Men #371
X-Men #91
X-Men Annual 1999
Crossover cover design
Skrullverine
Machine Man
Dethlok vs. Dethklok
Jack Truman (Agent 18) (to some extent)
A nice dress
An awkward reunion
Gambit as a mentor
Billy G.
A daring but silly rescue
Several upcoming series
Marrow’s bone bikini and/or pubes
Whether Rogue can absorb animals

NEXT EPISODE: Cecilia Reyes returns from retirement!

Want to hire J&MXPtXM producer Matt Hunter to produce your podcast? Email him!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!