Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

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493 – Now a Major Motion Picture

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In which the first X-Men film turns 25 (and holds up remarkably well).

X-PLAINED:

  • A startling absence
  • The X-Men’s big-screen debut
  • An X-film that might have been
  • X-Men (2000), in general; and related publications
  • Some very casting
  • What makes a good adaptation
  • Wolverine’s hair
  • Those costumes
  • The cinematic X-Men
  • The cinematic Brotherhood
  • Sabretooth’s eyebrows
  • Condensed backstories
  • The movie magic of magnetism
  • The worst toy of all time
  • Going to school with superheroes
  • Things we’d like to have seen in the movie

NEXT EPISODE: The origin of Thunderbird! (Not that one.) (Or that one.)

The visual companion to this episode is the film X-Men (2000).

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490 – Chekhov’s Angel Dust

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In which Chris Claremont tries to make the Neo happen; Cecilia Reyes continues to have no time for this bullshit; Rogue gets some action; Shadowcat flees the comic; and Tessa returns.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Evolutionaries
  • X-Men #100-102
  • The current X-Men rosters
  • Thunderbird (Neal Shaara)
  • Claremont vs. continuity
  • Dove crimes
  • The Neo
    • Domina
    • Jaeger
    • Rax
  • Fancy space suits
  • What to do with someone else’s bone claws
  • Some guy named Seth
  • The High Evolutionary’s love nest
  • A Phoenix-saga callback
  • Rave
  • Warren Kenneth Worthington III’s weird fantasies
  • Whether unstable molecules are self-cleaning
  • Seventeen deaths of Mister Sinister
  • Salvo the Living Gun
  • How to keep track of X-Men
  • Time travel problems
  • X-Men LEGO sets we’d like to see

NEXT EPISODE: Live from Washington, D.C.!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

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As Mentioned in Episode 486 – Welcome to Earth-1298 (Mutant X May, Part 1)

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Welcome to Earth-1298! Hope you survive the–wait, did you survive the experience? I’m not sure the cliche applies if you’re already dead. (Mutant X #1)
Bannerman Castle, headquarters of The Six. (Mutant X #1)
Madelyne goes Goblin Queen. (Mutant X #1)
This issue sets Scotty up to be Creepily Prescient, which he’s really not. (Mutant X #1)
Meet the Six. (Mutant X #2)
Fun times with the Fantastic Four. (Mutant X #2)
Well, THAT can’t be good. (Mutant X #2)
And then: NUDE CANADIANS! (Mutant X #3)
Gothic horror heroine Maddy. (Mutant X #4)
The Fallen is fucking terrible. (Mutant X #5)
Creatures of the night! (Mutant X #7)
Cerebro! (Mutant X #8)
Stingray and Yellowjacket. (Mutant X Annual 1999)
Dr. Strange, Man-Thing. (Mutant X Annual 1999)

486 – Welcome to Earth-1298 (Mutant X May, Part 1)

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In which we embark on a Great Work; it remains hard to be Alex Summers; and it’s also always Inferno on Earth-1298.

X-PLAINED:

  • Mutant X May
  • Mutant X #1-8
  • Mutant X Annual 1999
  • Havok (Alex Summers) (more) (again)
  • Earth-1298
  • The Six
    • The Brute (Hank McCoy)
    • Ice-man (Bob Drake)
    • Bloodstorm (Ororo Munroe)
    • The Fallen (Warren Kenneth Worthington III)
    • Marvel Woman (Madelyne Pryor)
  • Bannerman Castle
  • The original five X-Men of Earth-1298
  • S.H.I.E.L.D. of Earth-1298
  • Scotty Summers
  • Elektra of Earth-1298
  • The Swarms of Moot
  • The Fantastic Four of Earth-1298
  • Canada of Earth-1298
  • The Pack
    • Logan
    • Sabretooth
    • Wild Child
  • Demon problems
  • The Goblin Queen of Earth-1298
  • Kitty Pryde of Earth-1298
  • Forge of Earth-1298
  • Man-Spider
  • Some murders
  • Alligators of the Night
  • National politics
  • Cerebro of Earth-1298
  • Dr. Strange of Earth-1298
  • The Nexus of All Realities
  • Stingray of Earth-1298
  • Yellowjacket of Earth-1298
  • Doc Sampson of Earth-1298
  • Vendetta
  • Firestar of Earth-1298
  • A coincidence
  • Adam X and Vulcan of Earth-1298

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 483 – Piotr Lovely Locks

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I appreciate that Shadowcat’s new costume involves her perpetually flipping the (very sharp) bird. (X-Men: Black Sun #1)
I mean, it could be worse – you could be Colossus. (X-Men: Black Sun #1)
[Epic metal begins] (X-Men: Black Sun #1)
Is Nightcrawler trying to distract from his awful new color scheme by diving at the reader crotch-first? (X-Men: Black Sun #1)
A different look than usual, but I’m not mad at it. (X-Men: Black Sun #1)
SEEMS FINE. (X-Men: Black Sun #1)
Except that one time! And kind of that other time! (X-Men: Black Sun #1)
Chekhov’s removable skeleton. (X-Men: Black Sun #2)
I mean, we’re not not going to show the shattered-moon-and-mountain-of-skulls every time it comes up. (X-Men: Black Sun #2)
Magik x-plains the miniseries. (X-Men: Black Sun #2)
After this, Warren will be required to take a Defensive Swooping class. (X-Men: Black Sun #2)
Oof – right in the outfit! (X-Men: Black Sun #2)
(bonk) (X-Men: Black Sun #2)
A warm welcome back to Polaris’s chest-skull! (X-Men: Black Sun #3)
“Listen, it’s not my fault I’ve been a terrible boyfriend to every woman I’ve dated! And it definitely doesn’t imply anything!” (X-Men: Black Sun #3)
“Hey! That’s my favorite nipple you almost cut off!” (X-Men: Black Sun #4)
Dude needs to hydrate. (X-Men: Black Sun #4)
We’d normally say not to mess with perfection, but that’s not a bad evolution of the Phoenix costume! (X-Men: Black Sun #4)
Now that’s a demon. Well, Ru’tai. (X-Men: Black Sun #4)
The origin of Magik’s bare midriff! (X-Men: Black Sun #4)
You’re missing a bloodstone and a Banshee! (X-Men: Black Sun #5)
Paging Doctor Belmont… (X-Men: Black Sun #5)
Way better than throwing a Poké Ball. (X-Men: Black Sun #5)
Hey, now there are SIX bloodstones! At least Belasco’s throne is rad. (X-Men: Black Sun #5)
From the Arcane Tome of Evil Fashion. (X-Men: Black Sun #5)
BOOM! (X-Men: Black Sun #5)
What if Magik was She-Ra? (X-Men: Black Sun #5)
NEXT TIME: Magik gets metal.

LINKS AND FURTHER READING

483 – Piotr Lovely Locks

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In which a lot has happened in the Six Month Gap (and we even get to learn about some of it); we’d missed Claremontian narration; Miles has questions about Colossus’s ponytail; the Soulsword is basically a Poké Ball; the Shadow Pope is cooler than the regular Pope; and Magik has a secret.

X-PLAINED:

  • Some big news
  • X-Men: Black Sun #1-5
  • Phoenix and Psylocke’s sorta-power-swap
  • Implied continuity
  • The N’Garai
  • Belasco
  • Limbo
  • Magik (Illyana Rasputin)
  • New costumes
  • Priests vs blood magic
  • An impressively overcomplicated evil plot
  • Chekhov’s skeleton
  • Body swaps and/or possession
  • Thunderbird (Neal Sharra)
  • Pilgrimm and the Ru’tai (again, surprisingly)
  • Astral meetups
  • Confusing bloodstone math
  • A Triple-Tech
  • Magik (Amanda Sefton)
  • Counting X-generations
  • Our favorite X-decades

NEXT EPISODE: More Magik!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 478 – The Monologue Tube

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Alan Davis protests the death of Cyclops. (From this link)
X-teams, past to present. (At least the ones who still had comics in 2000.) (Uncanny X-Men #379)
Well, at least this time he’s leaving with someone other than those five motorcycle guys who could turn into a sixth motorcycle guy. (Uncanny X-Men #379)
It really, really isn’t. (Uncanny X-Men #379)
“…why do you call yourself X-Man, anyway?” (Uncanny X-Men #379)
Suddenly, the plot! (Uncanny X-Men #379)
“Sacre blue, non! Our elf ears!” (Uncanny X-Men #379)
“you guys i am so mad right now you have no idea” (Uncanny X-Men #379)
Toad, did you just… have that mirror with you? (Uncanny X-Men #379)
Just a really good cover. (X-Force #101)
That pacing, though. (X-Force #101)
Aww man. (X-Force #101)
We’ve all been there, kid. Well, maybe not exactly there, but like… metaphorically. (X-Force #101)
Meltdown counsels a sad child in a comic by Joseph Harris, part 2. (X-Force #101)
Doctor Wily, is that you? (X-Men #99)
“You wanna play paintball with us?” (X-Men #99)
How does a costume that looks so good when you’re blue look so silly when you’re not? (X-Men #99)
I’m not so sure about this Storm-and-Marrow-as-camp-counselors subplot, but I do love me some soap opera. (X-Men #99)
Businesspeople and bikers: the two genders. (X-Men #99)
Tentacle-guys, demons, and hulks: the three genders. (X-Men #99)
Mystique really misses that lamp. (Uncanny X-Men #380)
Logan may be dying, but his eyebrows are very impressive right now. (Uncanny X-Men #380)
“Plus, they charged us like thirty bucks just to bring a carry-on!” (Uncanny X-Men #380)
The S stands for Sexy. (Uncanny X-Men #380)
We’ve all had that dream, Blob. (Uncanny X-Men #380)
Bye, Alan Davis! It’s been weird but pretty fun! (Uncanny X-Men #380)
NEXT TIME: Magneto versus everybody.

478 – The Monologue Tube

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In which Alan Davis is Team Cyclops; everyone gets depowered; it’s hard to connect with kids your age when you’re a superhero; Sinister’s gotta sinister; everyone gets repowered; and the ‘90s were much more eclectic than they get credit for being.

X-PLAINED:

  • Side effects of Decimation
  • Uncanny X-Men #379-380
  • X-Force #101
  • X-Men #99
  • Cadre K
  • Summers family drama
  • The High Evolutionary (more) (again)
  • The (other) time all the mutants got depowered
  • Kevin
  • A very beautiful book
  • The ongoing mess of Genoshan politics
  • The Neo (slightly)
  • To what extent Logan’s claws are a mutant power
  • Sinister monologues
  • Herbert Evolutionary
  • The New New Men
  • The ‘90s, in general
  • What makes a Morlock

NEXT EPISODE: Magneto: Dark Seduction!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 473 – The Baker’s Dozen (The Twelve, Part Three)

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You know it’s serious business when someone smashes the logo. (Uncanny X-Men #377)
How long did it take him to set up that machinery? (Uncanny X-Men #377)
He said it! He said it! (Uncanny X-Men #377)
Apocalypse’s balls. (Uncanny X-Men #377)
Apocalypse’s balls, version two. (Cable #76)
A younger Cable. (Cable #76)
Aw, man. (Cable #76)
FEELINGS. (Cable #76)
Potato snow. (Cable #76)
Maybe the bodice is scale, not quilted? But it really looks quilted. (Cable #76)
The power of continuity! (X-Men #97)
The chewy center of Apocalypse. (X-Men #97)
And THAT’S how you reference Uncanny X-Men #137. (X-Men #97)
Well, shit. (X-Men #97)
NEXT EPISODE: Jay & Miles 2024 Winter Special!

LINKS & FURTHER ADVENTURES

473 – The Baker’s Dozen (The Twelve, Part Three)

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In which you know it’s serious business when a logo gets smashed; the prophecy of the Twelve is an elaborate prank; we have a lot of Summers family feelings; Apocalypse is not a very good planner; and the Twelve reaches its conclusion.

X-PLAINED:

  • Who Madelyne Pryor’s psychic ghost really is
  • The story so far
  • Uncanny X-Men #377
  • Cable #76
  • X-Men #97
  • Perks of immortality
  • A slightly gratuitous way to destroy an airplane
  • Several doppelgangers
  • Apocalypse’s big, stupid plan
  • A fancy science machine
  • The Atomium
  • The Twelve
  • The three elements
  • The best issue of the Twelve
  • Orb action
  • Cable’s knowledge of history
  • Summers feelings
  • How to establish stakes
  • Potato storms
  • The mutant Skrulls (more) (again)
  • Cadre K
  • Categories of mutants
  • How to beta test an Armageddon machine
  • Alpha nerd Charles Xavier
  • Weaponized continuity
  • The color(s) of Cyclops’s eyes
  • How to evoke Uncanny X-Men #137
  • An unfortunate twist
  • Mundane uses of superpowers
  • The Altar
  • What would have improved the Twelve

NEXT EPISODE: Winter Special!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!