Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

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As Mentioned in Episode 472 – Leave Room for Magneto (The Twelve, Part Two)

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Intense emotion, fiddly gadgets, and dramatic narration. What more do you need? (Wolverine #146)
Gravity be damned, Nightcrawler’s going to punch some bricks and stomp some turtles. (Wolverine #146)
Generation Blue, Generation Red. (Wolverine #146)
Referencing Uncanny X-Men #211. (Wolverine #146)
Warren Kenneth Worthington III, you give that tiny caveman back his club! (Wolverine #146)
Referencing Uncanny X-Men #170. (Wolverine #146)
Referencing Uncanny X-Men #179. (Wolverine #146)
Now that is a fight scene. (Wolverine #146)
Referencing Uncanny X-Men #153. (Wolverine #146)
Referencing Uncanny X-Men #169. (Wolverine #146)
Referencing Uncanny X-Men #148. (Wolverine #146)
Referencing Uncanny X-Men #242. (Wolverine #146)
Referencing Wolverine #74. (Wolverine #146)
Neat, they’re (psychically) wearing their outfits from that time they were partners in Madripoor! (Wolverine #146)
Angel’s darkness looks like light? You know, that actually makes a lot of sense. (Wolverine #147)
Flechettes! (Wolverine #147)
Referencing… oh, wait, this one actually has a caption. (Wolverine #147)
Poor kid… (Wolverine #147)
United by trauma. (Wolverine #147)
Everyone is just so sharp on this page… (Wolverine #147)
Silhouettes: climax! (Wolverine #147)
Silhouettes: denouement! (Wolverine #147)
“Do I have to call your parents, children?” (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)
Heh. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)
I wish we saw more of these two together. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)
Damaging currency is a federal crime, Wolverine! (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)
This page has earned its Kirby Krackle. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)
“You see, I have to be extra spooky to even out everyone else’s happiness. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)
Like a hairy little astromech droid at a scomp port. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)
Science! (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)
And they died miserably ever after. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)
NEXT TIME: The Twelve concludes!

LINKS & FURTHER FELINES:

472 – Leave Room for Magneto (The Twelve, Part Two)

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In which the Twelve should really be twelve chapters long; Archangel has issues; we continue to bemoan the absence of captions; the X-Men ditch their crossover event for a side quest; Magneto is Genosha’s official chaperone; and we would absolutely elect Emma Frost to a school board.

X-PLAINED:

  • What Cable does next
  • The event so far
  • Wolverine #146-147
  • Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999
  • Whether the Shadow King is moist
  • Why tiny cavemen can’t have nice things
  • Numerous flashbacks and allusions
  • Archangel’s third-stage evolution
  • The Philharmonic Gets Dressed
  • Abraham Kieros (again)
  • Apocalypse as a self-help guru
  • Fully nude Wolverine
  • X-51 #8 (briefly)
  • Fabian Cortez (more) (again)
  • A miracle of magnetism
  • Scomp linking
  • A big fancy machine
  • Exodus (more) (again)
  • Mutants we’d like to see in public office
  • The (theoretical) Essex administration

NEXT EPISODE: The Twelve concludes!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 471 – Eyebrows and Powers (The Twelve, Part One)

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Which of our lucky contestants will make it into… The Twelve? (Uncanny X-Men #376)
The exceptionally ripped man he is today. (Uncanny X-Men #376)
Well, it beats breaking up with a text message… maybe? (Uncanny X-Men #376)
The costume so rad Jubilee would remember it existed and start wearing it on the regular years later when she became a vampire! (Uncanny X-Men #376)
…He says that during sex too, doesn’t he? (Uncanny X-Men #376)
Havok-hat versus fez: fight! (Uncanny X-Men #376)
“Why hello up there, Nate and Little Nate!” (Cable #75)
Angry faces! (Cable #75)
Angry faces, continued! (Cable #75)
Not gonna lie, that’s legitimately badass. (Cable #75)
WHO PUT THAT THERE?! (Cable #75)
En Sabah Snake (Cable #75)
Now kiss! (Cable #75)
Survival of the Toothiest (Cable #75)
Black Friday shopping gets worse every year. (X-Men #96)
“…if you know what I mean.” (X-Men #96)
Aww, c’mon, Scott – Fiz is just happy to be here! (X-Men #96)
Say what you will about Apocalypse, but he does design some pretty excellent costumes. (X-Men #96)
I really dig this take on Storm’s cape. (X-Men #96)
Hi Rory! Sorry about your, uh, everything! (X-Men #96)
Dear Alan Davis: please keep drawing Nightcrawler forever. (X-Men #96)
We just love this guy. (X-Men #96)
NEXT TIME: The Twelve continues!

471 – Eyebrows and Powers (The Twelve: Part One)

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Survival of the Toothiest (Cable #75)

In which we begin our coverage of The Twelve; Scott and Jean get sucked back in AGAIN; Apocalypse probably doesn’t tip; and we have become awfully fond of Cable.

X-PLAINED:

  • A codename that deviates from common patterns
  • The story so far
  • Uncanny X-Men #376
  • Cable #75
  • X-Men #96
  • Fiz the Skrull (again)
  • The Twelve
  • Foreshadowing, both accurate and otherwise
  • The Living Monolith (more) (again)
  • That one font
  • Time-travel logic
  • Cable vs. eyes
  • Fabian Cortez (more) (again)
  • A trap
  • Why the Twelve are the Twelve
  • The evolution of Cable

NEXT EPISODE: The Twelve continues!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 470 – Large Adult Men

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Nipples? Spigots? Weirdly evenly spaced barnacles? You be the judge! (Cable #73)
Neither that font nor that neck is acceptable. (Cable #73)
The fonts in this book are killing me. (Cable #73)
Hug #1. (Cable #73)
Hug #2. (Cable #73)
Perspective? I hardly know ‘er! Wait. Damnit. (Cable #73)
What’s REALLY on the CD? Tell us in the comments! (Cable #73)
Caliban: Tailor of Apocalypse! (Cable #73)
The juxtaposition between the art and text in this pane is extremely funny. (Cable #73)
Quick-change! (Cable #74)
Deathbird, or possibly Warbird now. (Cable #74)
Whoops. (Cable #74)
He looks so over it. (Cable #74)
Ewwwww. (Wolverine #145)
He does look pretty rad, though. (Wolverine #145)
THAT HORSE (Wolverine #145)
Large man being large. (Wolverine #145)
The first time the new claws come out. (Wolverine #145)
NEXT EPISODE: We couldn’t put it off forever.

LINKS & FURTHER NONSENSE

470 – Large Adult Men

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In which Cable may or may not have been a spokesperson for AT&T; it’s impossible to draw a CD dramatically; Wolverine gets his adamantium back; Apocalypse says the thing; and we probably can’t keep putting off The Twelve forever.

X-PLAINED:

  • One way to dispose of a corpse
  • Cable #73-74
  • Wolverine #145
  • Cable (more) (again)
  • Poor font choice
  • Sarcophagus nipples
  • Caliban (more) (again)
  • Impromptu tailoring
  • A cliched vignette
  • People talking on couches
  • A compact disc
  • Unpleasant reunions
  • An impressive outfit
  • Prior generations of horsemen of Apocalypse
  • Wolverine (more) (again)
  • How Wolverine ended up a horseman of Apocalypse
  • Apocalypse’s aesthetic
  • Wolverine vs. Hulk (yet again)
  • Which version of Magik was on Krakoa
  • An X-Men pitch in the style of Spidey and his Amazing Friends

NEXT EPISODE: The Twelve begins!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 465 – Right in the Fabric

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Death’s new look. (Astonishing X-Men #1)
He just really likes that snowboard, okay? Leave him alone! You’re not his real dad! (Astonishing X-Men #1)
FORESHADOWING! (Astonishing X-Men #1)
The sassiest severed head since Cameron Hodge. (Astonishing X-Men #1)
Meet the Mannite moppets! (Astonishing X-Men #1)
This Final Fantasy-looking motherfucker. (Astonishing X-Men #2)
Weird but rad. (Astonishing X-Men #2)
Sausage! (Astonishing X-Men #2)
Mind control or just psychic startle? You be the judge! (Astonishing X-Men #3)
It’s fine; he’s a Skrull. (Astonishing X-Men #3)
NEXT EPISODE: All things animated Rogue, with Lenore Zann!

 

 

465 – Right in the Fabric

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In which “Astonishing X-Men” is something of a misnomer; Death has a good look; sometimes you just need a guy who swoops; Miles stops worrying and learns to love Nate Grey; Telekinesis is silly looking; “Wolverine” dies; and nothing really changes.

X-PLAINED:

  • Astonishing X-Men (miniseries)
  • Ambience
  • Nina (again)
  • Mannites (again)
  • The third-best way to get out of awkward conversations
  • The Hulkbuster base
  • Bastion (again)
  • Bastion’s worst nightmare
  • Death (a new one)
  • Fiddly bits
  • Cable’s Psimitar
  • Telekinetic snowboarding
  • Headcase
  • Darco
  • Glub
  • Beautiful Dreamer
  • Grace
  • Totem
  • Things to do with a severed head
  • The Changing
  • The (apparent) death of Wolverine
  • How to salvage this miniseries
  • Hypothetical X-crossovers

NEXT EPISODE: Lenore Zann joins us to talk all things Rogue!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

463 – The Fart Ghost That Walks Like a Manhattan

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In which Gambit is fundamentally goofy; t’ieves love research; Magneto was ripped; Professor Xavier remains a jerk; Miles attempts to convey something very fundamentally visual in an audio format; Marrow is adorable; the X-Men pretty much disband (again); and a miniseries is the opposite of a vacation.

X-PLAINED:

  • Where Wolverine went
  • Gambit Annual 1999
  • Uncanny X-Men #372
  • X-Men #92
  • A lot of backstory
  • A very cute plastic goose
  • What Gambit does in his free time
  • Those weird fluid-filled tubes they put people in all the time for some reason
  • Gambit’s abs
  • The fart ghost (Mary Purcell)
  • Manhattan, Indiana
  • A very minor continuity error
  • Fart ghost metaphysics
  • A very bad idea
  • A muppetworthy death
  • Dream’s various ends
  • X-pajamas
  • Professional dinosaurs
  • Thinkers
  • Theoretical Cyclops-Daredevil team-ups
  • X-characters recognizable as civilians

NEXT EPISODE: The return of the Damocles Foundation!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 457 – Stinking at the Moon

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Logan should always be a little funny-lookin’. (X-Men Unlimited #24)
He’s a berserker murder-uncle who can’t remember his past – she’s a grumpy doctor who’d rather be anywhere but here! Together, they’re Logan ‘n’ Cici – Thursdays on NBC! (X-Men Unlimited #24)
Seriously, I’d happily watch them argue about anything. (X-Men Unlimited #24)
Cecilia’s secondary mutation is the rare ability to avoid misunderstanding-based fights by using her words. (X-Men Unlimited #24)
Are you sure you’re not having fun, Dr. Reyes? (X-Men Unlimited #24)
Is he… is he biting the landing gear? (X-Men Unlimited #24)
Cecilia’s tertiary mutation is to not take any of your bullshit. (X-Men Unlimited #24)
Even a typo cannot mar this perfect panel. (X-Men Unlimited #24)
Jeez, Magnus! Put on some underwear over your pants! This is indecent! (X-Men Unlimited #24)
“But if there was, Father, rest assured that I would be an eighteenth-level Ranger.” (X-Men Unlimited #24)
Has he been carrying that plant around just hoping he’d have the chance to work it into a metaphor? (X-Men Unlimited #24)
“Just like I used to separate the people I teleported from their clothes!” (X-Men Unlimited #24)
“Fabian, what have I told you about sitting on my porn throne?” (X-Men Unlimited #24)
Nice to see a 1999 Magneto story remember all the super-nuance of his past. (X-Men Unlimited #24)
Jay’s got a point – how did they get Banshee into that thing? (Generation X #51)
Goodbye, old costumes… (Generation X #51)
…Hello, new costumes! (Generation X #51)
And that was it for Gaia. (Generation X #51)
Skin’s facial expression is the platonic ideal of “YIKES!” (Generation X #51)
I’m actually not sure which villain’s outfit is more surprising. (Generation X #51)
Armor’s powers, five years before Armor! (Generation X #51)
NEXT TIME: Some damned fine X-Force.