Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Magic

132 – Nornheim Lemonade

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which Rusty is an honorary Bluth; we bid a sad farewell to Bret Blevins; Hogan the Grim is probably the best at bedtime stories; Asgard has really tight hat game; Hela is a remarkably competent supervillain; there are some sound effects you have to earn; Rusty and Skids fight the Vulture; and Miles has so many feelings about Thor.

X-PLAINED:

  • Cortex
  • Damian Tryp
  • Our weird 2016 recording schedule
  • Jay & Miles at Vegas Valley Comic Book Fest 2016
  • Recent ResurrXion announcements
  • The second half of the Asgard Adventure
  • The end of Bret Blevins’ New Mutants run
  • New Mutants #82-85
  • The Odinsleep
  • A fairly upsetting board game
  • Volstagg’s awesome kids
  • Tiwaz of the Wastes
  • Many excellent hats
  • Ula and the Savage Swarm
  • Garm
  • Miles’s favorite Fenrir story
  • A remarkably clever villainous plan
  • A signature sound effect
  • Karnilla the Norn Queen
  • Cable’s relationship to Longshot
  • Recommendations for a comics newcomer

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor vs. Celestials, as Judgment War concludes!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 129 – They Don’t Allow Dragons in Here

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Lockheed, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore. (Excalibur #12)
Spoiler: this ends exactly the way you’d expect it to. (Excalibur #12)
This guy. (Excalibur #12)
IT’S SUCH A GOOD SIGHT GAG! (Excalibur #12)
Fisticuffs! (Excalibur #12)
This series has the best covers, man. (Excalibur #13)
Swell new threads, Cap! (Excalibur #13)
Princess Kitty, now 100% more bland. (Excalibur #13)
‘Kay. (Excalibur #13)
THIS IS NOT A GOOD FOUNDATION FOR A RELATIONSHIP. Also, I’m pretty sure they’re both, like, fourteen. (Excalibur #13)
Another classic. (Excalibur #14)
I’m not saying he’s not, but… (Excalibur #14)
Whoa, dang. (Excalibur #14)
Oh. THAT guy. (Excalibur #14)
The more you know! (Excalibur #14)
Swell new threads, Meggan! (Excalibur #14)
I always remember Albert being in this scene, which he’s obviously not, because he didn’t exist yet. Go figure. -J (Excalibur #14)
It’s like the dog ending of Silent Hill II, but instead of shibas, you get Chris Claremont and John Byrne. (Excalibur #14)
You tell ’em, Galactus! (Excalibur #14)
Look, we get what you were going for, but, no. (Excalibur #12)
I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. (Excalibur #13)
You can go home now. We’ve hit single greatest panel of Excalibur, ever. (Excalibur #15)
Ah, “the old-fashioned way.” (Excalibur #15)
MEANWHILE… (Excalibur #15)
AND THEN… (Excalibur #15)
Jamie Jaspers is terrifying. (Excalibur #15)
LATER… (Excalibur #15)
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE. (Excalibur #15)
NEXT EPISODE: Killing the X-Men, with Charles Soule!

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

129 – They Don’t Allow Dragons in Here (The Cross-Time Caper, Part 1)

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which “Cross-Time Caper” is something of a misnomer; Excalibur is an awful lot of fun to summarize; none of us will ever live up to Oscar Wilde’s expectations; Captain Britain secretly derives his powers from genre; sometimes things turn out to be simple; Kitty Pryde is better at everything than you; manipulation and murder are the new flowers and candy; context may or may not ruin everything; Meggan gets a new outfit; Technet takes Brighton; and some universes are just too silly to survive.

X-PLAINED:

  • Rick Jones, Sidekick Supreme
  • The Cross-Time Caper
  • Excalibur #12-15
  • Three love triangles
  • Jay’s mom’s late iguana
  • Captain Marshall, Lord Champion of the Realm
  • Prince William
  • Butch the ogre
  • Princess Kate
  • Fisticuffs
  • Instant air conditioning, Excalibur-style
  • Bagpipe Vader
  • An anticlimactic solution to a protracted problem
  • Sorcery 101
  • Several profoundly unethical ways to initiate a relationship
  • Arrested Excalibur
  • The Campsite Rule of relationships
  • The logistics and social history of tarring and feathering
  • A protracted parody
  • A very large number and several names for it
  • A theoretical team-up
  • Ultimate Hunger
  • An unidentified comic that is not Ultimate Hunger
  • Some less-than-ideal creative choices
  • A multiversal montage
  • Jamie Braddock (more) (again)
  • A duck
  • The unenviable fate of Doctor Crocodile
  • Pairing mutants with metal genres
  • Inconsistent flight safety measures

NEXT EPISODE: Killing the X-Men, with Charles Soule

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 127 – Disaster City

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Tabitha, no. (New Mutants #77)
Well, that can’t be good. (New Mutants #77)
Aw, man, Hela is such a fun villain. (New Mutants #78)
WHOOPS! (New Mutants #78)
Remember when we didn’t like Brett Blevins? MEA CULPA. (New Mutants #79)
TABITHA, NO. (New Mutants #79)
Blevins’s Hela is DELIGHTFUL. (New Mutants #79)
This gag doesn’t really stop being funny. (New Mutants #80)
Aw, Boom Boom. We knew you’d come through! (New Mutants #80)
Hela gets equal billing with her expansive gestures and sweet headgear. (New Mutants #80)
NEXT WEEK: Judgment War!

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

127 – Disaster City

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which we get back on the continuity train; everything is the aftermath of Inferno forever; you should never fight a tractor or a horse without first putting on some damn pants; Vincent Price would’ve made a terrific Doctor Strange; Rusty Collins never really gets a fair break; Boom Boom is in over her head; and Brett Blevins takes his place as the definitive New Mutants artist.

X-PLAINED:

  • Mirage’s on-again-off-again Valkyrie career
  • Asgardia
  • The New Mutants’ previous Asgard adventures
  • The best single issue of all time
  • The Naglfar
  • A proposal for a new calendar
  • New Mutants #77-80
  • The Ust-Ordynski Collective (again) (more)
  • There’s Stuff Going On: The Doctor Strange Story
  • A very bad decision
  • Why unicorns are the worst
  • Doctor Stephen Sanders / Doctor Strange / Doctor Dad
  • Let’s Make a Deal
  • Whether arson counts as a personality trait
  • Several nefarious plans
  • Creative growth
  • Disaster City
  • Fun with the Technarchy
  • Mindful representation
  • Miles’s dad’s comics collection

NEXT EPISODE: Judgment War!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned in Episode 106 – The X-Terminators

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Hi, Bill Gaines! (X-Terminators #1)
In which Bogdanove goes full Silver-Age romance-cover! (X-Terminators #1)
And so it was. (X-Terminators #1)
Wellp. (X-Terminators #1)
Can Bogdanove draw Boom Boom forever, please? (X-Terminators #1)
THIS KID IS AWESOME. (X-Terminators #1)
The cartoonishness of this series is really, really fun. (X-Terminators #1)
“Classic goblin behavior.” Did she learn about this in school? (X-Terminators #1)
JAIL BREAK TIME! (X-Terminators #1)
Boom Boom vs. vending machines. (X-Terminators #2)
I love the extent to which Hostess Fruit Pies became a running joke within actual Marvel comics. (X-Terminators #2)
So doomed. (X-Terminators #2)
This is probably a little too niche to describe as “every parent’s worst nightmare,” but I’m sure it hit home for someone. (X-Terminators #2)
#WINNING (X-Terminators #2)
Seriously, though–wouldn’t it be funnier if this were just a regular Viewmaster? (X-Terminators #2)
I can’t find the Ghostbusters production photo this is an homage to, but I swear it exists. (X-Terminators #3)
The living landscape of NYC quickly becomes legitimately terrifying, without ever quite losing its cartoonishness. (X-Terminators #3)
Incidental transitional panel, or hidden pitch for a whole new series? (X-Terminators #3)
Magic spells are ridiculous. (X-Terminators #3)
THOSE FACES. (X-Terminators #4)
You know that feeling when a crossover flies in from nowhere and whacks you in the back of the head? Yeah. (X-Terminators #4)
OKAY, THEN. (X-Terminators #4)
Wouldn’t that be multiplying it by 100? (X-Terminators #4)
Are… pigeons particularly notorious for meekly accepting destruction? Is that a thing? (X-Terminators #4)
And they all lived happily ever–HA, NO, JUST KIDDING. GO READ NEW MUTANTS. (X-Terminators #4)
NEXT WEEK: The fall of Magik.

LINKS & FURTHER LISTENING:

106 – The X-Terminators

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and cards available at the shop, or contact David to purchase the original.

In which Nextwave is both canon and not-canon; Inferno officially begins; X-Terminators is basically a cartoon; Bill Gaines cannot catch a break; Artie and Leach are superbabies; Takeshi Matsuya is fantastic; you should probably never take our advice about anything; Boom Boom is pretty good at superhero costume design; Walter Peck was right; Miles still won’t stop saying that one line about stealing a baby; N’astirh is no pigeon; and “No Mutant Is an Island” is a patently inaccurate statement.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Beyond Corporation
  • The Defilers
  • X-Terminators #1-4
  • The first 35 issues of X-Factor, briefly
  • Two teams with the same name
  • Fredric Wertham
  • Bill Gaines
  • Crotus
  • Babies
  • A boarding school that may or may not be Phillips Exeter Academy
  • Muffy
  • Saint Simon’s Academy
  • Wiz Kid (Takeshi Matsuya)
  • Nuprin
  • Medical advice from goblins
  • The Goblin Buster
  • Metareferential snack food
  • RadSport Sport Fashion Outfitters
  • An exceptionally specific Ghostbusters reference
  • Helen and Tim
  • Dubious spell semantics
  • How not to incorporate a crossover into a miniseries, and vice versa
  • “No Mutant Is an Island”
  • A brief history of Magneto’s helmet
  • Definitive Magnetos

NEXT WEEK: The fall of Magik.

Special thanks to multiversal metacontinuity wizard Al Ewing for the last-minute assist on the cold open!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

39 – Forever Alone Together

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Art by David Wynne. Prints and travel mugs available until 1/11/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.
Art by David Wynne. Prints and travel mugs available until 1/11/2015 in the shop, or contact David for the original.

In which Miles and his Doom voice return triumphant; we reach an understanding regarding Lila Cheney; Mob science is pretty shoddy; Magneto has fancy hair; New Mutants Xavier is Best Xavier; no one is more goth than Cloak and Dagger; and you can have Rachel’s Speed Racer references when you pry them from her cold, dead hands.

X-Plained:

  • Spider-Man crossovers
  • Cats
  • Marvel Team-Up Annual #6
  • New Mutants #22-25
  • Phone calls with bears
  • Glam day at the Hellfire Club
  • Rahne’s fairytale
  • Cloak & Dagger
  • Drugs
  • Eldritch curtains
  • A seriously flawed evil plan
  • Harry’s Hideaway
  • The Sam and Dani Show
  • Magneto’s hair
  • Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch’s parentage
  • Waiting for the T
  • Whether Cloak and Dagger are mutants
  • How to buy original art

NEXT WEEK: G. Willow Wilson!

You can find a visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

Buy prints of this week’s illustration at our shop, or contact David Wynne for the original!

As Mentioned on Episode 19 – Acorns and Swords

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Listen to the episode here!

(Hand not to scale.) (X-Men #160)
She knows how to dodge radioactive mutants and spinning saw blades, but no one has given Illyana the talk about not taking bloodstone amulets from strangers. (X-Men #160)
If there were a drinking game, “Storm spontaneously takes a shower indoors” would be on the list. (X-Men #160)
Oops. (X-Men #160)
Kitty, you adorable nerd. (X-Men #160)
Aw. Man. Why are all the evil alternate Nightcrawlers super creepy and rapey? (X-Men #160)
This asshole. (X-Men #160)
Remember this dude. You will be seeing more of him. (X-Men #160)
EMERGO! (X-Men #160)
Whoa. (X-Men #160)
BUT WHERE COULD SHE HAVE BEEN? If only there were a miniseries that answered that very question! (X-Men #160)
Belasco, man. (X-Men #160)
Oh, hey, those guys. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #1)
For obvious reasons, Magik includes a lot of very direct callbacks to X-Men #160. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #1)
“Body and soul.” Take a drink. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #1)
CAT WHAT ARE YOU WEARING WHY WOULD YOU WEAR THAT (Storm and Illyana: Magik #1)
So, here’s a thing: There’s a lot of creepily suggestive language about Belasco’s plans for Illyana, but none of it is reflected in the actual story. Make of that what you will, but it seems worth mentioning, for both parts. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #1)
Aw, Cat. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #1)
This is going to be important later. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #1)
S’ym is a pretty pitch-perfect kid’s nightmare: a friendly, slightly silly-looking monster who’s actually one of the most sadistic, dangerous guys in the building. He’s gonna be around for a long time, too, and he only gets scarier. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #2)
MONTAGE! (Storm and Illyana: Magik #2)
Belasco is a jerk. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #2)
Aw, Cat. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #2)
Two down, three to go. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #2)
Spoiler: This is not a particularly fun or happy miniseries. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #3)
No, there will be no elves. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #3)
Aw, Cat. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #3)
First try. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #3)
Mutant powers! And a New Mutants cameo! (Storm and Illyana: Magik #3)
Storm’s outfit is pretty ridiculous, but her hair is on point. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #3)
Aw, Cat. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #3)
Well. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #4)
SO THAT HAPPENED (Storm and Illyana: Magik #4)
Remember the part about this not being a happy series? This is not a happy series. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #4)
Second try. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #4)
Third, and last, try. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #4)
The Soulsword, ladies and gentlemen. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #4)
Meanwhile, in another comic altogether… (Storm and Illyana: Magik #4)
Human Belasco is pretty silly looking. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #4)
And we’re back to where we left off at the end of X-Men #160. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #4)
FACT: Illyana is freakin’ awesome. (Storm and Illyana: Magik #4)
Next week: The Brood Saga!

19 – Acorns and Swords

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In which we continue our delve into the eldritch end of the X-Universe, Illyana Rasputin has a rough childhood even by X-Men standards, Kitty Pryde is a Niven fan, Limbo is way metal, Vincent Price is our Belasco, and Rachel and Miles have feelings about female friendships in Claremont’s X-Men.

X-Plained:

  • Mikhail Rasputin
  • Hell dimensions, including but not limited to
    • The Void
    • The Dark Zone
    • The Hill
    • Limbo
    • The other Limbo
    • Yet a third Limbo
  • Reincarnation
  • Illyana Rasputin
  • Magic vs. Magik
  • Uncanny X-Men #160
  • Octopusheim
  • Stepping Disks
  • Otherplace
  • Belasco
  • Emergo
  • S’ym
  • Storm and Illyana: Magik #1-4
  • Bloodstones
  • Yet another set of alternate X-Men
  • Friendship
  • The Soulsword
  • Podcasting

You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Support us on Patreon!

 

Next week: In space, no one can hear you snikt.