490 – Chekhov’s Angel Dust

June 15, 2025 Jay 13 comments

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In which Chris Claremont tries to make the Neo happen; Cecilia Reyes continues to have no time for this bullshit; Rogue gets some action; Shadowcat flees the comic; and Tessa returns.

X-PLAINED:

The Evolutionaries
X-Men #100-102
The current X-Men rosters
Thunderbird (Neal Shaara)
Claremont vs. continuity
Dove crimes
The Neo
- Domina
- Jaeger
- Rax
Fancy space suits
What to do with someone else’s bone claws
Some guy named Seth
The High Evolutionary’s love nest
A Phoenix-saga callback
Rave
Warren Kenneth Worthington III’s weird fantasies
Whether unstable molecules are self-cleaning
Seventeen deaths of Mister Sinister
Salvo the Living Gun
How to keep track of X-Men
Time travel problems
X-Men LEGO sets we’d like to see

NEXT EPISODE: Live from Washington, D.C.!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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487 – The Only Well-Adjusted Cyclops in the Multiverse (Mutant X May, Part 2)

May 18, 2025 Jay 3 comments

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In which Mutant X May continues; the X-Men return from space; it’s okay not to fill in every detail of a world; Havok leans into parenthood; we meet the only well-adjusted Cyclops in the multiverse; in any universe, Forge has terrible judgment; and the Six get some new members.

X-PLAINED:

Several notable upcoming events in Mutant X
What’s happened so far
Mutant X #9-18
Mutant X Annual 2000
The Morlocks of Earth-1298
The Mole Man of Earth-1298
The Yancy Street Underground
Magneto of Earth-1298
Superhero costume color theory
Polaris of Earth-1298
The X-Men of Earth-1298
- Magneto
- Polaris
- Nightcrawler
- Rogue
- Mystique
- Quicksilver
The Goblin Entity
Doctor Doom of Earth-1298
Namor of Earth-1298
The origin of Bloodstorm
Dracula’s fellas
The Starjammers of Earth-1298
- Cyclops
- Binary
- Nova
- Lockheed
- Silver Surfer
Space alien problems
A fairly literal deus ex machina
Captain America of Earth-1298
A terrible idea
The United Guild of Thieves and Assassins
Gambit of Earth-1298
Raven LeBeau
The origin of Vampire Gambit
Mister Sinister of Earth-1298
Jean Grey of Earth-1298
Where Scott Summers of Earth-1298 ranks on the Cyclops Has a Good Day scale
Where to put X-logos on a costume

NEXT EPISODE: Mutant X May concludes!

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As Mentioned in Episode 472 – Leave Room for Magneto (The Twelve, Part Two)

December 22, 2024 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Intense emotion, fiddly gadgets, and dramatic narration. What more do you need? (Wolverine #146)

Gravity be damned, Nightcrawler’s going to punch some bricks and stomp some turtles. (Wolverine #146)

Generation Blue, Generation Red. (Wolverine #146)

Referencing Uncanny X-Men #211. (Wolverine #146)

Warren Kenneth Worthington III, you give that tiny caveman back his club! (Wolverine #146)

Referencing Uncanny X-Men #170. (Wolverine #146)

Referencing Uncanny X-Men #179. (Wolverine #146)

Now that is a fight scene. (Wolverine #146)

Referencing Uncanny X-Men #153. (Wolverine #146)

Referencing Uncanny X-Men #169. (Wolverine #146)

Referencing Uncanny X-Men #148. (Wolverine #146)

Referencing Uncanny X-Men #242. (Wolverine #146)

Referencing Wolverine #74. (Wolverine #146)

Neat, they’re (psychically) wearing their outfits from that time they were partners in Madripoor! (Wolverine #146)

Angel’s darkness looks like light? You know, that actually makes a lot of sense. (Wolverine #147)

Flechettes! (Wolverine #147)

Referencing… oh, wait, this one actually has a caption. (Wolverine #147)

Poor kid… (Wolverine #147)

United by trauma. (Wolverine #147)

Everyone is just so sharp on this page… (Wolverine #147)

Silhouettes: climax! (Wolverine #147)

Silhouettes: denouement! (Wolverine #147)

“Do I have to call your parents, children?” (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)

Heh. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)

I wish we saw more of these two together. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)

Damaging currency is a federal crime, Wolverine! (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)

This page has earned its Kirby Krackle. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)

“You see, I have to be extra spooky to even out everyone else’s happiness. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)

Like a hairy little astromech droid at a scomp port. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)

Science! (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)

And they died miserably ever after. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999)

NEXT TIME: The Twelve concludes!

LINKS & FURTHER FELINES:

A metaphor that is also a very real space cat
Jay is delighted to have been wrong! The Philharmonic Gets Dressed is totally still in print!
Dave has been one of Jay’s comfort movies for longer than he entirely cares to admit.

472 – Leave Room for Magneto (The Twelve, Part Two)

December 22, 2024 Jay One comment

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In which the Twelve should really be twelve chapters long; Archangel has issues; we continue to bemoan the absence of captions; the X-Men ditch their crossover event for a side quest; Magneto is Genosha’s official chaperone; and we would absolutely elect Emma Frost to a school board.

X-PLAINED:

What Cable does next
The event so far
Wolverine #146-147
Uncanny X-Men Annual 1999
Whether the Shadow King is moist
Why tiny cavemen can’t have nice things
Numerous flashbacks and allusions
Archangel’s third-stage evolution
The Philharmonic Gets Dressed
Abraham Kieros (again)
Apocalypse as a self-help guru
Fully nude Wolverine
X-51 #8 (briefly)
Fabian Cortez (more) (again)
A miracle of magnetism
Scomp linking
A big fancy machine
Exodus (more) (again)
Mutants we’d like to see in public office
The (theoretical) Essex administration

NEXT EPISODE: The Twelve concludes!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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454 – X-Men ’97, Part 2

June 30, 2024 Miles 13 comments

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SPOILER WARNING: ALL OF THEM, NONSTOP

In which Barry Windsor-Smith is too sexy for television; we know what happens when unstable molecules get struck by lightning; X-Men gets political and does it spectacularly; this Captain America would not sew the cape; Magneto continues to throw things into space; and they kissed and we missed it.

X-PLAINED:

Fabian Cortez’s name
X-Men ’97 episodes 6-10
Lifedeath I & II: a surprising adaptation
Varying levels of going in blind
A somewhat different and possibly better Forge
The Adversary vs. the Owl Queen
Stormiest and least-Stormy costumes
Professor Charles Xavier, Official Space Boyfriend
Colonialism vs. Identity
Delayed catharsis
The narrative power of altered opening credits
What makes allyship effective (and not)
Justified mutant anger
The worst version of Nina DaCosta
What makes Prime Sentinels scary
Summers family feels
The best damned fight scenes out there
Bastion, robo-avatar of conservative white patriarchy
Simultaneous crossovers
A psychic gay bar
A last boss arena
Acolyte equivalencies
Phoenix Ex Machina
Crying
Whether Magneto was right
Apoca-futures and Apoca-pasts
A bulletin board and our hopes for its contents
Soft Serve
Kitty Pryde’s coffee shop AU
X-Men ’97 as the perfect gateway

NEXT EPISODE: Skrulls!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

The Judgment of Magneto by Asher Elbein

No visual companion this week!

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As Mentioned in Episode 435 – Giant-Size Special #12 (feat. Kieron Gillen)

December 31, 2023 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the podcast here! And stay tuned for details of our 10th birthday party, coming April 13 at Books With Pictures!

Illustration by David Wynne

Just look at that cover! (Longshot vol. 2 #1)

Strong Fantastic Planet vibes, no? (Longshot vol. 2 #1)

Meet the Thingee! (Longshot vol. 2 #1)

Heaven, sort of. (Longshot vol. 2 #1)

The Statler and Waldorf of Baum, Kansas. (Longshot vol. 2 #1)

Aw, Betty. (Longshot vol. 2 #1)

Bad times. (Longshot vol. 2 #1)

Residents of the Albony Avenue Sanitarium. (Longshot vol. 2 #1)

The true form of the Thingee. (Longshot vol. 2 #1)

And straight on ’til morning. (Longshot vol. 2 #1)

435 – Giant-Size Special #12 (feat. Kieron Gillen)

December 31, 2023 Jay 13 comments

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In which we have had an eventful year; Longshot is a classic folk hero; writer Kieron Gillen makes a triumphant and mildly terrifying return to the show; and you remain the best listeners of any podcast, ever.

X-PLAINED:

Our tenth birthday party!
2023
Longshot vol. 2 #1
Longshot as a folkloric archetype
Longshot (more) (again)
Dismal Nitch, Washington
The Thingee
Baum, Kansas
Corn
Betty
Barrie, Kansas
The Albony Avenue Sanitarium and several of its residents
Innocence, broadly
The Wuggly Ump, by Edward Gorey
Love
Immortal X-Men
Nathaniel Essex and several significant clones thereof
Defining Mister Sinister
Making Charles Xavier sympathetic
Reset phrases
Eternals
The 10^th Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence
Many people to whom we are grateful

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men: Liberators

NOTE: If you want to avoid Immortal X-Men spoilers in our interview with Kieron Gillen, you can skip to 01:38:50 for the Corbeau Awards!

Special thanks to:

Matt Hunter
Dylan Higgins
Al Kennedy
Max Carleton
Kieron Gillen
Tea Fougner
Anna Stokes
All of our patrons
All of you listening, always <3

“Sinister Is Cloning This Town” performed by Steve and Erin Pence

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 411 – Tearaway Pants

May 23, 2023 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the podcast here.

When you meet a straight couple, you should ask them which is the Nic Cage and which is the John Travolta. (X-Men Unlimited #17)

Fuckssake, Warren. (X-Men Unlimited #17)

Severe costume injuries. (X-Men Unlimited #17)

Logan’s skiing / beat poetry outfit. (X-Men Unlimited #17)

After thirty years, Warren finally gets a gun, I guess. (X-Men Unlimited #17)

SERIOUSLY, HOW DO THEY RECOGNIZE IT?! (X-Men Unlimited #17)

Much like Gambit, I hallucinate a team of X-Men insulting me at all times. (X-Men Unlimited #18)

Hydro-Man. He sure is. (X-Men Unlimited #18)

Jean Grey advocates for change. (X-Men Unlimited #18)

Aw. (X-Men Unlimited #18)

See, they body-swapped because of carpet static and… y’know what? Just watch Gravity Falls. You won’t regret it.

NEXT EPISODE: Back to the core!

411 – Tearaway Pants

May 21, 2023 Jay 6 comments

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In which we actually kind of like a Sabretooth story; we’re not asking for viscera, here; all pants on Earth-616 are tearaway pants; we’d like to see more Wolverine stories about bodily autonomy; Gambit’s hallucinations have hallucinations; and there are probably too many X-books.

X-PLAINED:

Punch-clock villains
Hydro-Man’s secret weakness
411
‘90s fashion
X-Men Unlimited #17-18
X-Men Unlimited vs. annuals
A difficult casting decision
Forge’s neutralizer gun
Costume injuries
Color symbolism? Kinda? I guess?
Mrs. Hoo
Saberine & Wolvertooth
Warren Kenneth Worthington III vs. shirts
How to dress for Earth-616
Hot buttered whatever
Boob foliage
Clones
Very tenacious blood stains
The return of the Angry Claremontean Narrator
Lots of hallucinations
Oscar the Fixer
Hydro-Man
Redemption, symbolic and otherwise
The evolution of Magneto’s name
Our ideal X-line

NEXT EPISODE: Back to the core!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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