454 – X-Men ’97, Part 2

June 30, 2024 Miles 13 comments

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SPOILER WARNING: ALL OF THEM, NONSTOP

In which Barry Windsor-Smith is too sexy for television; we know what happens when unstable molecules get struck by lightning; X-Men gets political and does it spectacularly; this Captain America would not sew the cape; Magneto continues to throw things into space; and they kissed and we missed it.

X-PLAINED:

Fabian Cortez’s name
X-Men ’97 episodes 6-10
Lifedeath I & II: a surprising adaptation
Varying levels of going in blind
A somewhat different and possibly better Forge
The Adversary vs. the Owl Queen
Stormiest and least-Stormy costumes
Professor Charles Xavier, Official Space Boyfriend
Colonialism vs. Identity
Delayed catharsis
The narrative power of altered opening credits
What makes allyship effective (and not)
Justified mutant anger
The worst version of Nina DaCosta
What makes Prime Sentinels scary
Summers family feels
The best damned fight scenes out there
Bastion, robo-avatar of conservative white patriarchy
Simultaneous crossovers
A psychic gay bar
A last boss arena
Acolyte equivalencies
Phoenix Ex Machina
Crying
Whether Magneto was right
Apoca-futures and Apoca-pasts
A bulletin board and our hopes for its contents
Soft Serve
Kitty Pryde’s coffee shop AU
X-Men ’97 as the perfect gateway

NEXT EPISODE: Skrulls!

LINKS AND FURTHER READING:

The Judgment of Magneto by Asher Elbein

No visual companion this week!

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As Mentioned in Episode 435 – Giant-Size Special #12 (feat. Kieron Gillen)

December 31, 2023 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the podcast here! And stay tuned for details of our 10th birthday party, coming April 13 at Books With Pictures!

Illustration by David Wynne

Just look at that cover! (Longshot vol. 2 #1)

Strong Fantastic Planet vibes, no? (Longshot vol. 2 #1)

Meet the Thingee! (Longshot vol. 2 #1)

Heaven, sort of. (Longshot vol. 2 #1)

The Statler and Waldorf of Baum, Kansas. (Longshot vol. 2 #1)

Aw, Betty. (Longshot vol. 2 #1)

Bad times. (Longshot vol. 2 #1)

Residents of the Albony Avenue Sanitarium. (Longshot vol. 2 #1)

The true form of the Thingee. (Longshot vol. 2 #1)

And straight on ’til morning. (Longshot vol. 2 #1)

435 – Giant-Size Special #12 (feat. Kieron Gillen)

December 31, 2023 Jay 13 comments

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In which we have had an eventful year; Longshot is a classic folk hero; writer Kieron Gillen makes a triumphant and mildly terrifying return to the show; and you remain the best listeners of any podcast, ever.

X-PLAINED:

Our tenth birthday party!
2023
Longshot vol. 2 #1
Longshot as a folkloric archetype
Longshot (more) (again)
Dismal Nitch, Washington
The Thingee
Baum, Kansas
Corn
Betty
Barrie, Kansas
The Albony Avenue Sanitarium and several of its residents
Innocence, broadly
The Wuggly Ump, by Edward Gorey
Love
Immortal X-Men
Nathaniel Essex and several significant clones thereof
Defining Mister Sinister
Making Charles Xavier sympathetic
Reset phrases
Eternals
The 10^th Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence
Many people to whom we are grateful

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men: Liberators

NOTE: If you want to avoid Immortal X-Men spoilers in our interview with Kieron Gillen, you can skip to 01:38:50 for the Corbeau Awards!

Special thanks to:

Matt Hunter
Dylan Higgins
Al Kennedy
Max Carleton
Kieron Gillen
Tea Fougner
Anna Stokes
All of our patrons
All of you listening, always <3

“Sinister Is Cloning This Town” performed by Steve and Erin Pence

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As Mentioned in Episode 411 – Tearaway Pants

May 23, 2023 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the podcast here.

When you meet a straight couple, you should ask them which is the Nic Cage and which is the John Travolta. (X-Men Unlimited #17)

Fuckssake, Warren. (X-Men Unlimited #17)

Severe costume injuries. (X-Men Unlimited #17)

Logan’s skiing / beat poetry outfit. (X-Men Unlimited #17)

After thirty years, Warren finally gets a gun, I guess. (X-Men Unlimited #17)

SERIOUSLY, HOW DO THEY RECOGNIZE IT?! (X-Men Unlimited #17)

Much like Gambit, I hallucinate a team of X-Men insulting me at all times. (X-Men Unlimited #18)

Hydro-Man. He sure is. (X-Men Unlimited #18)

Jean Grey advocates for change. (X-Men Unlimited #18)

Aw. (X-Men Unlimited #18)

See, they body-swapped because of carpet static and… y’know what? Just watch Gravity Falls. You won’t regret it.

NEXT EPISODE: Back to the core!

411 – Tearaway Pants

May 21, 2023 Jay 6 comments

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In which we actually kind of like a Sabretooth story; we’re not asking for viscera, here; all pants on Earth-616 are tearaway pants; we’d like to see more Wolverine stories about bodily autonomy; Gambit’s hallucinations have hallucinations; and there are probably too many X-books.

X-PLAINED:

Punch-clock villains
Hydro-Man’s secret weakness
411
‘90s fashion
X-Men Unlimited #17-18
X-Men Unlimited vs. annuals
A difficult casting decision
Forge’s neutralizer gun
Costume injuries
Color symbolism? Kinda? I guess?
Mrs. Hoo
Saberine & Wolvertooth
Warren Kenneth Worthington III vs. shirts
How to dress for Earth-616
Hot buttered whatever
Boob foliage
Clones
Very tenacious blood stains
The return of the Angry Claremontean Narrator
Lots of hallucinations
Oscar the Fixer
Hydro-Man
Redemption, symbolic and otherwise
The evolution of Magneto’s name
Our ideal X-line

NEXT EPISODE: Back to the core!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 409 – Lurid Malarkey

May 7, 2023 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

In which Sean entirely fails to X-Plain Monet. (Generation X #34)

Tracy Authier, middle-school bandit. (Generation X #34)

Now I really wanna read Paige’s descriptions of these guys. (Generation X #34)

Oh, Paige. (Generation X #34)

The hell what?! (Generation X #34)

M-Plate! (Also, I’m pretty sure Penance’s word balloon is supposed to go to Synch.) (Generation X #34)

Fun with Chimera. (Generation X #35)

Everett, no. (Generation X #35)

In which things get a trifle Windsor McCay. (Generation X #35)

Jubilee’s hallucinogenic Wonderland. (Generation X #35)

More fun in Wonderland. (Generation X #35)

Meet Elwood. (Generation X #36)

Do you know who these people are? PLEASE TELL US! (Generation X #36)

This is not a great way to introduce yourself to the neighbors. (Generation X #36)

Spoiler: Chief Authier is a telepath. (Generation X #36)

NEXT EPISODE: that happens

409 – Lurid Malarkey

April 30, 2023 Jay 11 comments

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In which nobody is sure what Emplate actually eats; airport food is not a good peace offering; Larry Hama writes a good Jubilee; the St. Croix siblings merge; and we honestly have no idea what a Token is.

X-PLAINED:

Emplate vs. Marrow
What’s been up with Generation X
Generation X #34-36
Claudette and Nicole St. Croix
Emplate (more) (again)
Controlled chaos
Tracy Authier
Bullying
Dorian and Weasel (again)
Treasures
EAT
Some unusually friendly blackmail
Wizard Magazine
Husk’s diary and hypothetical fanfiction
Chimera
A Lepton imploder
Dirt-Nap
M-Plate
A dream, we think, probably
Jubilee in Wonderland
A Token
Chief Authier
Elwood
Landau, Luckman, & Lake (again)
The Citadel at the Edge of Reality
The Universal Amalgamator
Magik on screen
Our favorite villains and alignment shifts from the Krakoa era

NEXT EPISODE: The M-Plate Saga concludes

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As Mentioned in Episode 351 – His Mighty Hand

October 31, 2021 Jay One comment

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

At least his astral form also works out. (Uncanny X-Men #336)

The size difference is endlessly amusing. (Uncanny X-Men #336)

You done good, Gambit. (Uncanny X-Men #336)

For those of you who collect reaction images. (Uncanny X-Men #336)

Seriously–PERFECT CYLINDER. (Uncanny X-Men #336)

It always seems weird to me that when Cable’s arm is like that it doesn’t seem to cause any mobility or balance issues. (Cable #35)

They’ll team up, but, damnit, they won’t enjoy it. (Cable #35)

Meanwhile at your neighborhood roller rink… (Cable #35)

He’s like a tiny pet Franklin getting walked around Manhattan! (Cable #35)

SO THERE, ONSLAUGHT. (Cable #35)

That throne is so creepy and gross and awesome. (X-Man #19)

Remember the Age of Apocalypse? Nate does! (X-Man #19)

Aw, kiddo. (X-Factor #58)

They’re all very neatly arranged, at least. (X-Factor #58)

Tabitha really needs some healthier coping mechanisms. (X-Factor #58)

AW, KIDDO. (X-Factor #58)

Please google “highland cattle” immediately and join me in giggling. (X-Factor #58)

Smelling the vegetation… and possibly hiding a pot of gold. (X-Factor #58)

Domino’s fantasies do not allow for teenage intrusion, TYVM. (X-Factor #58)

NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught, still, obviously.

351 – His Mighty Hand

October 31, 2021 Jay 7 comments

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In which we enter Phase 2 of Onslaught; Cable is a man of many purposes; Onslaught gets a makeover; Intentions only matter if you’re Longshot; and Sue Richards will pull over this crossover event right now if you don’t behave.

X-PLAINED:

Red Onslaught
Onslaught Phase 1
Uncanny X-Men #336
Cable #35
X-Man #19
X-Force #58
A large number of team-ups
Onslaught, but make it a seder
Watcher undercarriage
Onslaught’s second form
Cable and Apocalypse vs. Onslaught
Nate Grey vs. Sinister
A trap
Several flashbacks and fantasies
Symbolic roles within X-Force
What Banshee’s sonic scream sounds like
Pecs as envisioned by Franklin Richards

NEXT EPISODE: Onslaught, of course.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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