Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: nightcrawler

498 – Home Depot Ossuary

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In which the Twisted Sisters are vanquished by water; there is no way to make Stryfe cool; and the X-Men fight a hurricane.

X-PLAINED:

  • Ego the Living Planet and his dysfunctional family
  • X-Men #105-106
  • Uncanny X-Men #386
  • The Neo (more) (again)
  • The state of Psylocke and Archangel’s relationship
  • The Twisted Sisters
    • Helix
    • Coil
    • Gyre
    • Ringlet
    • Torque
  • Pelicans
  • Bad decisions of past Jay and Miles
  • A mysterious stranger
  • Unrealized plans
  • Mystique and Wolverine’s forgotten friendship
  • Neo infrastructure
  • Big Casino’s name
  • An unlikely hybrid
  • A surprisingly large femur
  • The new Brotherhood
  • Lee Forrester (again)
  • Weather
  • Fan history

NEXT EPISODE: X-Force vs. Warborgs

The visual companion to this episode will be up later this week!

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495 – The Goth

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In which Rogue is beset with leadership; Psylocke’s telekinetic sword is narratively inconsistent; the Crimson Pirates are bad at their job; and you should not look to Frank Punisher as a role model.

X-PLAINED:

  • Whether Dani Moonstar is still a Valkyrie
  • X-Men #103-104
  • Uncanny X-Men #384-385
  • A crossover
  • Tessa (somewhat)
  • A test
  • The Goth (group)
  • Skulls
  • The Crimson Pirates
  • The mind of Tullamore Voge
  • Something “rough trade” does not mean
  • Visual representation of telepathy
  • Kymri (again)
  • The Goth (individual)
  • Skycycles
  • A ruse
  • How to get the X-Perts at a convention near you
  • What happened to the Massachusetts Academy

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men Forever

The visual companion to this episode will be up in the near future!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 494 – You’ve Got Evil Mail

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Is Thunderbird cosplaying Colossus? (X-Men Unlimited #27)
Meet Neal Shaara! Or sometimes Neal Sharra, depending on who’s writing! (X-Men Unlimited #27)
In which Karima Shapandar literally jump-kicks her way into the issue. (See also the 1977 kung fu film The Invincible Armour.) (X-Men Unlimited #27)
And you haven’t even met Maggott yet! (X-Men Unlimited #27)
embarrassed_werewolf sounds like part of an auto-generated Reddit username. (X-Men Unlimited #27)
“Crap, instead of zapping them with the Robot Servant Ray, we zapped them with the Main Character Ray!” (X-Men Unlimited #27)
Aww, Sanjit. (X-Men Unlimited #27)
Hope you survive the experience! (X-Men Unlimited #27)
Check out Gambit’s sideways-Legion hair! And Beast’s Banshee disguise! (X-Men Unlimited #28)
Darkstar speaks for us all. (X-Men Unlimited #28)
This ain’t Beast’s first brainwashing rodeo. (X-Men Unlimited #28)
Listen, the Darkforce is just cool, okay? (X-Men Unlimited #28)
Dis not what Gambit had in mind. (X-Men Unlimited #28)
More like the Golden Death, really. (X-Men Unlimited #28)
Darkstar’s face is the same as Miles’s when he first discovered Cloud/Sephiroth slash almost 30 years ago. (X-Men Unlimited #28)
“No, my only weaknesses – rain and tasers!” (X-Men Unlimited #28)
Technology safety tip: if you get a suspicious email, blow up your computer! (X-Men Annual 2000)
Adorable downtime! (X-Men Annual 2000)
I love these goofballs so much. (X-Men Annual 2000)
Rogue learned a lot of things during her time with Magneto, like: if you have a problem, throw it into space. (X-Men Annual 2000)
The focused totality of her cutting your goddamn head off. (X-Men Annual 2000)
Everyone just looks really cool here. That’s the only significance. (X-Men Annual 2000)
GUN ARRRRRRMMMSSSSS (X-Men Annual 2000)
That’s some Claremont dialogue, alright (complimentary). (X-Men Annual 2000)
I guess that’s why Stryfe’s not too concerned with peripheral vision. Explains the helmet. (X-Men Annual 2000)
NEXT TIME: The Goth!

494 – You’ve Got Evil Mail

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In which the X-Men zealously protect their trademarks; Cable can have as many moms as he wants to; not everyone should have to be a superhero; Lady Deathstrike knows how to handle unauthorized emails; and somehow there are still more gun arms.

X-PLAINED:

  • Lady Deathstrike
  • X-Men Unlimited #27-28
  • X-Men Annual 2000
  • One reason to recycle code names
  • Thunderbird III (Neal Shaara)
  • Sanjit Shaara and his electronic diary
  • Karima Shapandar
  • Bastion and the Prime Sentinels (again) (briefly)
  • Omega Prime Sentinels
  • Rebirth Island and what lurks there
  • Darkstar (Laynia Petrovna)
  • Unusual disturbances
  • Whether Gambit sleeps
  • The Black Death
  • Internet security training with Bastion
  • The genealogy of Nora Ephron romantic comedy You’ve Got Mail
  • Fashion
  • Stryfe (again) (briefly)
  • Psylocke’s telekinetic katana
  • Interactions between Madelyne Pryor and her large adult son
  • Spiral’s Body Shop

NEXT EPISODE: The Brotherhood targets Senator Kelly… again.

Check out the visual companion to this episode here!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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490 – Chekhov’s Angel Dust

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In which Chris Claremont tries to make the Neo happen; Cecilia Reyes continues to have no time for this bullshit; Rogue gets some action; Shadowcat flees the comic; and Tessa returns.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Evolutionaries
  • X-Men #100-102
  • The current X-Men rosters
  • Thunderbird (Neal Shaara)
  • Claremont vs. continuity
  • Dove crimes
  • The Neo
    • Domina
    • Jaeger
    • Rax
  • Fancy space suits
  • What to do with someone else’s bone claws
  • Some guy named Seth
  • The High Evolutionary’s love nest
  • A Phoenix-saga callback
  • Rave
  • Warren Kenneth Worthington III’s weird fantasies
  • Whether unstable molecules are self-cleaning
  • Seventeen deaths of Mister Sinister
  • Salvo the Living Gun
  • How to keep track of X-Men
  • Time travel problems
  • X-Men LEGO sets we’d like to see

NEXT EPISODE: Live from Washington, D.C.!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!

 

 

As Mentioned in Episode 487 – The Only Well-Adjusted Cyclops in the Multiverse (Mutant X May, Part 2)

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…the 2025 story. (Mutant X #9)
The Morlocks! (Mutant X #9)
A damned fine Magneto indeed. (Mutant X #9)
Polaris from X-Factor meets Terra from Final Fantasy VI. (Mutant X #10)
Nightcrawler-1298 can buckle our swashes anytime. (Mutant X #10)
The rest of the X-Men! (Mutant X #10)
The weather is wild today. (Mutant X #11)
I think this might be a big deal, you guys. (Mutant X #12)
Drama! (Mutant X #12)
The Goblin Queen falls. (Mutant X #12)
The secondary theme of Mutant X is the relationship between Ororo Munroe and rodents. (Mutant X #13)
Someone missed the memo about Diaphanous Romper Fridays. (Mutant X #13)
Ninja versus vampire: a tale as old as time. (Mutant X #13)
The most well-adjusted Cyclops in the Multiverse (and friends)! (Mutant X #14)
Bros! (Mutant X #14)
Meet Katherine Pryde, Black Queen of the Hellfire Club; Sebastian Shaw in an iron lung; palette-swapped Captain America; and Sunfire! (Mutant X #15)
De T’ieves Guild. (Mutant X #16)
A thief and a t’ief. (Mutant X Annual 2000)
“Dear Diary, only you understand me.” (Mutant X Annual 2000)
The origin of Gampire/Vambit. (Mutant X Annual 2000)
That first panel is just adorable. (Mutant X Annual 2000)
What a great guy, that Cap! Hope he doesn’t blow up the moon or anything later. (Mutant X #17)
And again: bros! (Mutant X #17)
Seems fine. (Mutant X #18)
Hey, that’s our podcast’s schtick! No swiping! (Mutant X #18)
NEXT TIME: The end of Mutant X May!

487 – The Only Well-Adjusted Cyclops in the Multiverse (Mutant X May, Part 2)

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In which Mutant X May continues; the X-Men return from space; it’s okay not to fill in every detail of a world; Havok leans into parenthood; we meet the only well-adjusted Cyclops in the multiverse; in any universe, Forge has terrible judgment; and the Six get some new members.

X-PLAINED:

  • Several notable upcoming events in Mutant X
  • What’s happened so far
  • Mutant X #9-18
  • Mutant X Annual 2000
  • The Morlocks of Earth-1298
  • The Mole Man of Earth-1298
  • The Yancy Street Underground
  • Magneto of Earth-1298
  • Superhero costume color theory
  • Polaris of Earth-1298
  • The X-Men of Earth-1298
    • Magneto
    • Polaris
    • Nightcrawler
    • Rogue
    • Mystique
    • Quicksilver
  • The Goblin Entity
  • Doctor Doom of Earth-1298
  • Namor of Earth-1298
  • The origin of Bloodstorm
  • Dracula’s fellas
  • The Starjammers of Earth-1298
    • Cyclops
    • Binary
    • Nova
    • Lockheed
    • Silver Surfer
  • Space alien problems
  • A fairly literal deus ex machina
  • Captain America of Earth-1298
  • A terrible idea
  • The United Guild of Thieves and Assassins
  • Gambit of Earth-1298
  • Raven LeBeau
  • The origin of Vampire Gambit
  • Mister Sinister of Earth-1298
  • Jean Grey of Earth-1298
  • Where Scott Summers of Earth-1298 ranks on the Cyclops Has a Good Day scale
  • Where to put X-logos on a costume

NEXT EPISODE: Mutant X May concludes!

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Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 484 – Hell Tuba

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A miniseries based on a miniseries! (X-Men: Magik #1)
What are we looking at? Not sure. Is it rad? Definitely. (X-Men: Magik #1)
To paraphrase: it doesn’t have to be practical if it’s AWESOME. (X-Men: Magik #1)
Not the most efficient way to blow up a bunch of Teslas, but certainly stylish. (X-Men: Magik #1)
Only one of them got the note about the dress code. But which? (X-Men: Magik #1)
The Battle for Hell’s Deep. (X-Men: Magik #1)
So, like, what if the sky broke and then cut off your goddamned head, is my question (X-Men: Magik #2)
Everyone’s outfits are very long. (X-Men: Magik #2)
Did we mention that this series is in a hell dimension? (X-Men: Magik #2)
(Pushes up Norse glasses:) Technically, Surtur’s sword Twilight would only be on fire if he’d entered Asgard upon the day of Ragnarök, and… (X-Men: Magik #2)
And then sometimes the art is suddenly beautiful. (X-Men: Magik #2)
(wailing guitar solo) (X-Men: Magik #2)
I now pronounce you Hell-Lord and Sorceress! (X-Men: Magik #3)
Hey, tell us more about Lord Militant Phemous and his Huscarls! (X-Men: Magik #3)
Meanwhile, in the Hell-actic Senate… (X-Men: Magik #3)
You get out of the sky and finish your evil-chrome-skeleton-god dinner this instant, young man! (X-Men: Magik #3)
All hail the Hell Tuba! (X-Men: Magik #4)
Welp, there you have it. (X-Men: Magik #4)
Hey, it’s Death’s Head II! Hi, Death’s Head II! (X-Men: Magik #4)
I’m pretty sure Judas Priest has a song about this. (X-Men: Magik #4)
We need to start a metal band just so we can use this as an album cover. (X-Men: Magik #4)
The last day of summer camp is always bittersweet. (X-Men: Magik #4)
NEXT TIME: Generation X versus that thing!

484 – Hell Tuba

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In which the 2000 Magik miniseries is not a good comics series but is an excellent heavy metal concept album; Nightmare has a nightmare; and tubas work differently in Hell.

X-PLAINED:

  • Belasco: the early years
  • Magik (2000 series) #1-4
  • Magik (Amanda Sefton) (Jimaine Szardos) (more) (again)
  • Some art stuff
  • The realm of Nightmare
  • The Splinter Realms
  • The Soul Sword (Amanda Sefton version)
  • An Archfiend of the Pit
  • Nugent
  • Chekhov’s Hell computer (and its secretions)
  • Kurt Wagner’s short and bizarre career in the church
  • Vitchen
  • Several cool demon battles
  • The Dread Dormammu
  • Gleeg
  • A problem
  • Muspelheim
  • Twilight (sword)
  • Some Mephisto nonsense
  • Hades, maybe
  • Epithets
  • A convocation
  • Weird Hell guys
  • Duke Bleys
  • The Archenemy
  • The Hell Tuba
  • The most demonic brass instrument
  • Some time travel bullshit
  • Stories where Emma Frost is at her best
  • Villain reuse

NEXT EPISODE: Generation X gets new threads!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 483 – Piotr Lovely Locks

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I appreciate that Shadowcat’s new costume involves her perpetually flipping the (very sharp) bird. (X-Men: Black Sun #1)
I mean, it could be worse – you could be Colossus. (X-Men: Black Sun #1)
[Epic metal begins] (X-Men: Black Sun #1)
Is Nightcrawler trying to distract from his awful new color scheme by diving at the reader crotch-first? (X-Men: Black Sun #1)
A different look than usual, but I’m not mad at it. (X-Men: Black Sun #1)
SEEMS FINE. (X-Men: Black Sun #1)
Except that one time! And kind of that other time! (X-Men: Black Sun #1)
Chekhov’s removable skeleton. (X-Men: Black Sun #2)
I mean, we’re not not going to show the shattered-moon-and-mountain-of-skulls every time it comes up. (X-Men: Black Sun #2)
Magik x-plains the miniseries. (X-Men: Black Sun #2)
After this, Warren will be required to take a Defensive Swooping class. (X-Men: Black Sun #2)
Oof – right in the outfit! (X-Men: Black Sun #2)
(bonk) (X-Men: Black Sun #2)
A warm welcome back to Polaris’s chest-skull! (X-Men: Black Sun #3)
“Listen, it’s not my fault I’ve been a terrible boyfriend to every woman I’ve dated! And it definitely doesn’t imply anything!” (X-Men: Black Sun #3)
“Hey! That’s my favorite nipple you almost cut off!” (X-Men: Black Sun #4)
Dude needs to hydrate. (X-Men: Black Sun #4)
We’d normally say not to mess with perfection, but that’s not a bad evolution of the Phoenix costume! (X-Men: Black Sun #4)
Now that’s a demon. Well, Ru’tai. (X-Men: Black Sun #4)
The origin of Magik’s bare midriff! (X-Men: Black Sun #4)
You’re missing a bloodstone and a Banshee! (X-Men: Black Sun #5)
Paging Doctor Belmont… (X-Men: Black Sun #5)
Way better than throwing a Poké Ball. (X-Men: Black Sun #5)
Hey, now there are SIX bloodstones! At least Belasco’s throne is rad. (X-Men: Black Sun #5)
From the Arcane Tome of Evil Fashion. (X-Men: Black Sun #5)
BOOM! (X-Men: Black Sun #5)
What if Magik was She-Ra? (X-Men: Black Sun #5)
NEXT TIME: Magik gets metal.

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