putting the fun in funeral – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 235 – Fatal Extractions

February 17, 2019 Jay One comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

If there’s anything I look for in an event anniversary issue, it’s an interrupted funeral. (Uncanny X-Men #304)

Nobody likes Fabian Cortez. (Uncanny X-Men #304)

“Always alone… and always dramatic.” (Uncanny X-Men #304)

Speaking of dramatic… (Uncanny X-Men #304)

One of the best of many callbacks. (Uncanny X-Men #304)

Ouch. (Uncanny X-Men #304)

I’m curious about a lot of the inclusions and exclusions in this crowd. (Uncanny X-Men #304)

BEHOLD! (Uncanny X-Men #304)

“We live in space.” (Uncanny X-Men #304)

I wonder how many issues have had variations on this title. (X-Men #25)

HE’S VERY CLEARLY FACING AWAY. (X-Men #25)

Dang, Magneto. (X-Men #25)

“Professor, this plan is terrible.” (X-Men #25)

This implies that Xavier’s decision to wipe Magneto’s mind was the plan from the start… (X-Men #25)

Dr. Spock would like a word with you, Magneto. (X-Men #25)

“Damnit, that was my favorite shirt!” (X-Men #25)

That’s gotta smart. (X-Men #25)

…Well, damn. (X-Men #25)

Please note that even bereft of his mind, Magneto’s cape is DRAMATIC AS HELL. (X-Men #25)

NEXT EPISODE: Reality bites.

235 – Fatal Extractions (Fatal Attractions, Part 2)

February 17, 2019 Jay 34 comments

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In which Magneto may or may not own a Namor body pillow; Cyclops probably doesn’t color-code his files; Colossus is Not Okay; bats are nature’s flashers; there are a lot of reasons to be mad at Fatal Attractions; Charles Xavier is surprisingly durable; the X-Men know their Aeschylus; Jean Grey goes in through the face; and bringing Wolverine to fight the guy who controls metal was probably not a great idea.

X-PLAINED:

Mutant Alpha
Uncanny X-Men #304
X-Men #25
False foreshadowing
Costume storage and display
Relative moral event horizons
The character dehabilitation of Magneto
The Magneto Protocols
How Cyclops organizes his files
An excellent eulogy
The complicated legacy of Illyana Rasputin
Several noteworthy absences
A memorable funeral
The ‘behold’ thing
A protective mesh of electromagnetic fire
A well-played callback
A strategically dubious plan
Several Prometheus Bound quotations
An uncharitable assumption
The blood-brain barrier
A severe costume injury
The definitive scene of Fatal Attractions
The root of Onslaught
Which X-Men would podcast
Our preferred comics formats

NEXT EPISODE: Colossus still can’t catch a break

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 201 – Pump Up the Jam

June 17, 2018 Jay One comment

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Damn, that’s a nice cover. (X-Men #10)

I mean, one of them is definitely not playing a part. (X-Men #10)

I know, buddy. I know. (X-Men #10)

Wait for it… (X-Men #10)

*snicker* (X-Men #10)

Throwing this in mostly because it’s a gorgeous panel. (X-Men #10)

Not even the end of the issue, really. (X-Men #10)

Wait, wasn’t Jon Bon Jovi blond in 1992? (X-Men #10)

That is some choice sideeye. (X-Men #11)

A little bit louder, and a little bit worse. (X-Men #11)

“Hey, wanna see if we can make the Psylocke/Cyclops sexual tension even MORE uncomfortable?” (X-Men #11)

TFW you’re just thankful the control booth is lined with Mojonium(TM). (X-Men #11)

Toxic masculinity saves the day! (X-Men #11)

Mojo directing his own murder is a little bit creepy. (X-Men #11)

YOU’D THINK ONCE WOULD HAVE BEEN ENOUGH, BUT NO. (X-Men #11)

“Know what would be the worst, though? If we were all characters in a comic book.” (X-Men #11)

I don’t understand what’s happening around Maverick’s crotch; and frankly, I don’t care to. (X-Men #10)

This guy. (X-Men #10)

Can we get a close-up on that caption, though? (X-Men #10)

GOD FUCKING DAMNIT, HARRAS. (X-Men #10)

Thaaaaaat’s our Maverick! (X-Men #11)

It really, really looks like Professor X’s head isn’t attached to his body. (X-Men #12)

Carter Ryking has come unstuck in time, but not really. (X-Men #12)

Aw, man, it’s nice to have a reminder of why I sometimes really like these two together. (X-Men #12)

I mean, Gambit and Rogue are doing okay, so the dysfunction had to go somewhere… (X-Men #12)

ART CHALLENGE: What’s in the file? Fill in those empty pages! (X-Men #12)

And the skeletons are like, “Dude, we’re RIGHT HERE.” (X-Men #12)

While these are all valid concerns, they’d be alleviated somewhat if anyone ever bothered to draw Professor X with a decent wheelchair. Seriously, X-Men artists, DO SOME BASIC RESEARCH ON THIS. (X-Men #12)

Now there’s a guy who knows how to put the “fun” in “funeral.” (X-Men #12)

Yeah, Logan, don’t get into a feels-off with Rogue. You won’t win. (X-Men #13)

Nicieza’s Beast is really, really good. (X-Men #13)

Aw, Jubilee. (X-Men #13)

Show him what he’s won, Rusty and Skids! (X-Men #13)

NEXT EPISODE: A musical interlude with X-Factor!

201 – Pump Up the Jam

June 17, 2018 Jay 39 comments

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In which we begin our third podcast century; Cyclops is bi-inclusive; we have high standards for Mojoworld; Dazzler can survive your big-budget horror show; Jim Lee makes his exit; video games that involve Protomen are better than video games that don’t; and plasma is the new magnetism.

X-PLAINED:

Carter Ryking and his Very Durable Underpants
Fontanelle
Jay & Miles Town Cry ye X-Men
An upcoming event
X-Men #10-13
A somewhat disappointing Wizard of Oz pastiche
Those who like to go both ways
A mysterious, shadowy figure; revealed
Several of Cyclops’s uncoolest Dad moments
Zima
Moist Alley
Mojo II: The Sequel
The Image exodus
Mojonium™
An announcement
Longshot in the Mojoverse vs. Longshot in the 616
A Maverick adventure
Alexander Ryking
The other Xavier File
Warhawk
The Ryking Hospital for Paranormal Research
A poorly defined power set
Technicolor skeletons
When and where paper was invented
A likely-irrelevant pattern
The devil who haunts Stryfe’s dreams
Some non-X Marvel recommendations
Rusty Collins’s codename

NEXT EPISODE: A musical interlude with X-Factor!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

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