Remy LeBeau – Page 7 – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

275 – End of the Summer

December 1, 2019 Jay 9 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Professor is too cool for the Phalanx; fatphobia is significantly more dangerous than Fred Dukes; Strong Guy catches a plane; Emma Frost will not let you coast; Jubilee says goodbye to the X-Men; and it’s probably for the best that we have avoided corporate advertisers.

X-PLAINED:

Mr. M
Thor: Metal Gods
Ship (more) (again)
The Phalanx vs. the Borg
Several cover homages
X-Force #39
X-Factor #107
Uncanny X-Men #318
Prosh
The myriad delights of embodiment
A complex theory about Leprechauns
Benefits of single-issue stories
Strong Guy vs. the Blob
Strong Guy vs. Gravity
Strong Guy vs. an airplane
Strong Guy vs. biology
Several explosions
The kids of Generation X
Deluxe-format comics
The Xavier Institute for Higher Learning
Goodbyes
Dazzler’s relative immortality
Jay’s X-Men Happy Meal Toy wish list
How to make a page-accurate Warlock toy

NEXT EPISODE: The Soul Sword Trilogy

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 265 – Rude Awakenings

September 22, 2019 Jay 2 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Is anyone else weirded out by the fact that that’s supposed to be Forge in the lower right-hand corner? (X-Men Annual #5)

The Shi’ar sext WEIRD. (X-Men Annual #5)

Professor X was definitely naked, right? (X-Men Annual #5)

The weirdest thing about this panel is that the tractor beam seems to have shrunk her shirt by about half. (X-Men Annual #5)

Professor X X-Plains human-Shi’ar relations. (X-Men Annual #5)

FASHION! (X-Men Annual #5)

Imagine how confusing it must be to run into Jubilee on alien planets. (X-Men Annual #5)

I DID NOT NOTICE THE HANGING TEDDY BEAR UNTIL I CLIPPED THE PANEL FOR THIS VISUAL COMPANION. (X-Men Annual #5)

He’s a hugger. (X-Men Annual #5)

Be fair, Gambit: there are a LOT of reasons Cyclops is never fun at parties. (X-Men #34)

BUT WHO IS LURKING IN THE FOREGROUND? (X-Men #34)

Sinister, moisturize your damn clones. (X-Men #34)

Oh, hey, Threnody! (X-Men #34)

‘Kay. (X-Men #34)

Ewwwwwwww. (X-Men #34)

Please bear in mind that these are costumes S.H.I.E.L.D. just happened to have lying around the Helicarrier. (X-Men #35)

“Also, do you know how hard it was to dress you in skintight neoprene while you were unconscious?” (X-Men #35)

The end of the world looks pretty rad. (X-Men #35)

Some artists definitely made some choices. (X-Men #35)

That’s our Cyclops. (X-Men #35)

Some of the layouts in this issue are really nice. (X-Men #35)

Sunset Grace X-Plains Sunset Grace (and marries Ronald Reagan). (X-Men #35)

Ouch. (X-Men #35)

NEXT EPISODE: Malice!

FURTHER LISTENING

We covered The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix in Episode 229 – Giant-Size Special #7!

265 – Rude Awakenings

September 22, 2019 Jay 20 comments

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In which Glen Danzig was the most popular Wolverine fancast for a weirdly long time; breasts have physical mass; the Shi’ar empire is not your friend; Deathbird should not be left in charge of anything alive; Jubilee learns about privilege; Sinister is not subtle; plasma is the new magnetism; Scott and Jean return from the future; and Nick Fury probably sews his name into the waistband of all his underpants.

X-PLAINED:

Some guy from Earth-1610
X-Men: Unlimited #5
X-Men #34-35
Shi’ar sexting
A rude awakening (literal)
Rococo Stryfe
Some uncomfortable fashion choices
X-pajamas
Definitely nude Charles Xavier
Breasts
Shi’ar imperial bullshit
A very impressive headdress
Reality TV… in space!
A rude awakening (metaphorical)
Shi’ar childhood
Negotiation
A total dick move
Another total dick move
Beast’s brief tenure as field leader of the X-Men
The return of Threnody
The titles of several sex tapes
High-tech spelunking
Sinister’s secret DNA library
Controversial outfits
Nick Fury’s stuff
Sunset Grace
The racism inherent to Evan Sabahnur’s background
A question we’ve answered before and will probably answer again

NEXT EPISODE: Malice!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 262 – Science Fiction Double Feature

September 1, 2019 Jay One comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

He’s a fun guy. (X-Men #311)

Aw. (X-Men #311)

Uncool, Sabretooth. Uncool. (X-Men #311)

Bishop is rad as hell. (X-Men #311)

See, this is why you should’ve taken her to the movies. (X-Men #311)

Emma’s got a new look. (X-Men #312)

Cool, but not the coolest. (X-Men #313)

No freakin’ kidding. (X-Men #313)

Ah, THAT’S the coolest. (X-Men #313)

Storm is so cool. (X-Men #313)

This club is the worst. (X-Men #311)

$The Phalanx, in a small fraction of its glory. (X-Men #312)$

The Phalanx, in a small fraction of its glory. (X-Men #312)

They’re very good friends. (X-Men #312)

Gambit is legitimately fairly charming, at least as drawn by Joe Madureira. (X-Men #312)

One of several shovel talks. (X-Men #312)

Oh, snap. (X-Men #312)

Familiar faces, and somewhat less familiar bodies. (X-Men #312)

And then, another shovel talk. (X-Men #312)

NEXT EPISODE: Remember this dude?

The Designing X-Women art isn’t online yet, but when it is, we’ll drop a link here!

262 – Science Fiction Double Feature

September 1, 2019 Jay 14 comments

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In which the Phalanx would make pretty fun novelty candy; “B-Plot” implies that we only have 26; nobody will take Jubilee to the movies; Repo Man and Repo: The Genetic Opera are in fact two entirely different films; Storm is a fashion icon; Sabretooth is the monster in the basement; it’s really rough to be the kid on the X-Men; Yuko gives Gambit a shovel talk; and a number of familiar faces return to the page.

X-PLAINED:

One of the many problems with Sentinels
Uncanny X-Men #311-313
Whether the Phalanx is squishy
Robo-Candy
Plotline disambiguation
A cult classic
Carl the X-Cutioner (again)
Creative use of Bishop’s powers
Storm fashion
Technical difficulties
A decision Iceman will come to regret
Bishop vs. Sabretooth
What If Vol. 2 #87
Variations on Iceman’s appearance
Early seeds of Generation X
A night out with Yukio
A heavily euphemized relationship
Xavier’s mutant underground
The Phalanx
A shovel talk
The return of Steven Lang (and some other people)
How Cyclops cries
Cassandra Nova’s signature look

NEXT EPISODE: Additional and Varyingly Literal Blasts from the Past

NOTE: Per our expert source Doctor Internet, what Miles knows as “water weenies” are mostly sold as “water wigglers” or “water snakes.”

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 259 – Kwannon Leap

August 11, 2019 Jay 4 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Does this remind anyone else of the choreography of “Glory” from Pippin? To those two of you now imagining these three soft-shoeing through a battlefield: you’re welcome. (X-Men #31)

Spiral X-Plains a thing or three. (X-Men #31)

The eye fairy left you a present! (X-Men #31)

One of those important relationship talks. (X-Men #31)

“Also, I brought you some eyes.” (X-Men #31)

See what we meant about the alternating forms? (X-Men #31)

While Kwannon’s story leaves a lot to be desired, I’m glad she at least got to die closer to its center. (X-Men #31)

Chekhov’s battle banter! (X-Men #32)

Man, fuck Nyorin. (X-Men #32)

Epitath by Claremont. (X-Men #32)

Someday a very confused student is going to fish those out of the lake. (X-Men #32)

In case you were wondering whether Gambit was cool as a teenager: No. (X-Men #33)

WHY WOULD YOU GIVE SABRETOOTH THIS ABILITY WHY (X-Men #33)

In this house we appreciate Henri LeBeau and Henri LeBeau’s mustache. (X-Men #33)

“So, I’ve been reading Spider-Man…” (X-Men #33)

Obviously not, Gambit, or you’d be in Antarctica right now. (X-Men #33)

NEXT EPISODE: Havok once again fails to complete his dissertation.

LINKS & FURTHER HAWK TALK:

We discussed the first version of Psylocke’s transformation in Episode 137 – Kicky Kinko Killers; and the second, which introduced Kwannon, in Episode 222 – A Tale of Two Betsys.

Night on Earth is a brilliant movie, and also the main source of our Roberto Begnini hipster cred.

If you like your dives deep and granular, we highly recommend Chris and Robert’s dialogic annotations, HoX PoX ToX.

259 – Kwannon Leap

August 11, 2019 Jay 19 comments

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In which fix-it fic goes canon (or vice versa); Psylocke is a complicated individual and/or individuals; assassins have complicated personal lives; it is probably ethical to tell your teammates about your camera eyes; Beast takes over Blue Team; we get our first tease of Generation X; Sabretooth is a surprisingly fun narrator; that Hickman fellow seems to know what he’s doing; and you should totally come see us at FlameCon!

X-PLAINED:

X-Men #31-33
What Forge does in his downtime
Several retcons, including a metaretcon
Psylocke (Betsy Braddock)
Revanche (Kwannon)
What we are not wearing
Hawks
Digital Chameleon
Assassin romance
What actually (probably) (mostly) happened to Betsy and Kwannon
The Eye Fairy
The death of Kwannon
The future of the Xavier School
The last will and testament of Emma Grace Frost
Rogue and Gambit’s breakfast-cereal habits
All the eyes you’ve been given
Nyorin’s “diary”
A murder cliché
Genevieve Darceneaux
BabyGoth Gambit
Henri LeBeau and his majestic mustache
Our (very early) thoughts on HoX/PoX

NEXT EPISODE: Havok once again fails to complete his dissertation.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

COME SEE US AT FLAMECON!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 254 – Carry Each Other

June 30, 2019 Miles 5 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

All these years, Miles thought he was quoting Jean Grey, but it turned out to be Oscar Wilde. AS USUAL. (X-Men: The Wedding Album)

“Dammit, Logan never made me talk about feelings!” (X-Men: The Wedding Album)

Green ain’t your color anyway, kid. (X-Men: The Wedding Album)

I love every aspect of this segment except for every aspect of its format. Except the Jubilee silhouette at the top, that part’s pretty cool. (X-Men: The Wedding Album)

Ian Churchill, please draw more things. (X-Men: The Wedding Album)

Jean’s had tentacles for arms, so I guess legs like that aren’t that weird. (X-Men: The Wedding Album)

At last, indeed. (X-Men #30)

“I’m the best there is at what I do, and what I do is write real pretty.” (X-Men #30)

Oh god Excalibur #75 comes right after this (X-Men #30)

Aww, these guys. (X-Men #30)

Keep this panel in case you ever need to tie a bow tie! (X-Men #30)

Everyone. (X-Men #30)

These two. (X-Men #30)

Perfect vows, part 1. (X-Men #30)

Perfect vows, part 2. (With bonus second-best-kiss-ever.) (X-Men #30)

See? It is wholly appropriate, Bono. (X-Men #30)

Let’s just not think about how Logan wrote that. (X-Men #30)

Family. (X-Men #30)

Dammit, Rogue! (X-Men #30)

Double dammit, Gambit! (X-Men #30)

Tears every time. (X-Men #30)

Scott’s only been married a few hours and he’s already so much better at feelings! (X-Men #30)

You’re right, Kitty! Reality does bite! (X-Men: The Wedding Album)

Warren Kenneth Worthington III, this is not the time or place! At all! (X-Men: The Wedding Album)

Shatterstar tries. (X-Men: The Wedding Album)

Sean Cassidy: banned from every karaoke bar on the east coast. (X-Men: The Wedding Album)

Kurt’s still got it. Obviously. (X-Men: The Wedding Album)

NEXT EPISODE: Well, at least the cover’s sparkly.

254 – Carry Each Other

June 30, 2019 Miles 12 comments

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In which Nicole Miller is fashion designer to Earth-1218 and Earth-616, Jay rejects the word “bestest”, we kind of want to just read every word of X-Men #30 aloud, One is a perfect wedding song for Scott and Jean, and you save the last dance for who brought you.

X-PLAINED:

The perils of animated weddings
X-Men: The Wedding Album
Nonstandard trim sizes
Misattributed Oscar Wilde quotes
Shatterstar’s favorite Olympic event
Jean Grey’s short-lived modeling career
Computo, Commander of the Robot Hive
A most excellent wedding dress
Cursive fonts in comics
Jean Grey and Jubilation Lee, ambiguously excellent chosen family
X-Men #30
An event decades in the making
Wolverine, Master of Penmanship
Charles Xavier, reader stand-in
The largely forgotten Madelyne Pryor
The understandably tentative Rachel Summers
The bow-tie scene
A phenomenal two-page spread
A set of perfect vows
A bittersweet song for a bittersweet couple
Victor Creed, vengeful kitty-cat
Rogue and Gambit, best worst wedding guests
Video albums vs. Instagram
Beast and Banshee, jazz combo
Scott and Jean as a couple vs. individuals
The necessity of Scott and Jean’s relationship context

NEXT EPISODE: Goodbye, Phoenix. Hello, Britanic.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

As Mentioned in Episode 253 – Autumn in the Uncanny Valley

June 23, 2019 Jay 2 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Aw, these kids. (Uncanny X-Men #208)

THEY’RE SO BAD AT BEING PEOPLE AND I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. (Uncanny X-Men #208)

I also love them. (Uncanny X-Men #208)

Really, this is one of those issues that just makes me want the X-Men to always be happy and never have to do any superhero stuff. (Uncanny X-Men #208)

Fucking hawks, always poaching passes on the gridiron. (Uncanny X-Men #208)

Jean “Grab fate by the throat and hold on until it stops moving” Grey. (Uncanny X-Men #208)

What do YOU think Jean is saying here? Fill in her word balloon for a chance to, I dunno, I guess we could publish a gallery of them? (Uncanny X-Men #208)