Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: Remy LeBeau

253 – Autumn in the Uncanny Valley

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which an engagement begins; Jean Grey’s Walden Puddle counterpart is definitely Nicole; Cyclops is the telepathic equivalent of a pit trap with spikes at the bottom; Charles Xavier’s subconscious is very dialogue-heavy; nobody ever has appropriate professional boundaries; Cable dabbles in passive aggression; and the best is yet to come.

X-PLAINED:

  • Some of Blaquesmith’s recent activities
  • Uncanny X-Men #308-310
  • A very sweet retcon
  • Thanksgiving “traditions”
  • How to scare crows
  • Emplates
  • Feelings and telepathy
  • A proposal
  • A misprint
  • Thanksgiving at the Xavier School
  • A somewhat alarming manifestation of a conscience
  • The lies Charles Xavier tells himself
  • Xavier’s depression beard
  • The evolution of Amelia Voght
  • Angry Claremontean Narrator: The Movie
  • The anticlimactic return of Carl “X-Cutioner” Denti
  • An unexpected resolution
  • Foreshadowing
  • Trans voices in the larger comics conversation

NEXT EPISODE: The wedding!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

HAPPY PRIDE! This month, we’re donating all of the proceeds from our TeePublic shopto Trans Lifeline!

As Mentioned in Episode 245 – Natural Causes

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
I love this cover, and I love this series. (Rogue #1)
I wonder if she just kisses planes every once in a while just in case one turns out to be a Transformer. (Rogue #1)
And that’s how we deal with street harassers. (Rogue #1)
Rogue’s backstory has stayed remarkably consistent over the years, especially by X-Men standards. (Rogue #1)
Gambit’s awkward facial expressions in this series are absolutely delightful. (Rogue #1)
Oh. THIS guy. (Rogue #1)
Meanwhile in a late ’80s music video… (Rogue #1)
The Assassins’ guild has the weirdest cell phone plans. (Rogue #1)
Gambit gets a lot more interesting when you realize his flirting is largely performative. (Rogue #2)
The uncontested champions of Pairs’ Punching! (Rogue #2)
Oh, hell, yeah. (Rogue #2)
As a responsible teacher, Wolverine makes sure to brief all his students about Inverse Ninja Law. (Rogue #3)
“I WAS coming up with new cheers, but den you showed up on dat motorcycle.” (Rogue #3)
I didn’t notice this my first time through, but what the HELL is going on with Lapin’s facial hair? (Rogue #3)
Oh. Hell. Yeah. (Rogue #3)
OH HELL YEAH (Rogue #4)
Seriously, why is Cody eight years old? (Rogue #4)
NEXT EPISODE: Pointy boys, yelling!

LINKS & FURTHER ADVENTURES:

245 – Natural Causes

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Rogue flouts air traffic regulations; Jay is very sorry for how badly he butchers Gambit’s accent; stealth is directly proportionate to how loudly you dress; Rogue and Gambit win the gold in Pairs Punchin’; Candra is a big jerk; you should ABSOLUTELY NOT remove an impaled object; Rogue busts through some tropes; and we have complicated feelings about the Ultimate universe.

X-PLAINED:

  • Rogue’s biological parents
  • Marvel New Orleans
  • Brood Trouble in the Big Easy
  • Rogue/rogue disambiguation
  • Rogue #1-4
  • Bella Donna Boudreaux
  • What may or may not happen if Rogue kisses a Transformer
  • Cody Robbins (again)
  • Natural causes
  • Supervillain funeral crashers (again)
  • Inverse Ninja Law (Law of Conservation of Ninjutsu)
  • The Bill the Pony incident
  • Relative culpability
  • Nature vs. nurture
  • Tante Mattie (Mattie Baptiste)
  • Candra’s new threads
  • How long it takes to drive from Westchester, NY, to Caledcott, MI
  • How Jay learned to love Gambit (but not to stop worrying)
  • Gris-Gris
  • Lapin
  • Fifolet
  • Punching hallucinations
  • Questa
  • Knives as superpowers
  • Inversions of several gendered superhero tropes
  • Closure
  • The limits of intent
  • Magnetos’ (sometimes) kids’ hair
  • Whether we’ll cover Ultimate X-Men

NEXT EPISODE: Spiky boys, yelling!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 244 – Terminal Nudity

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
You can tell he’s evil because he’s the only assassin who… wears black? (Gambit #1)
“And how is your mustache?!” (Gambit #1)
Wolverine is basically the Mary Worth of the X-Men. (Gambit #1)
…Okay, yeah, I get why he’s kind of cool. (Gambit #1)
You can tell the captions are serious business because of the fake torn edges. (Gambit #1)
It seems weird that the first thing he did was throw his coat over her. That’s weird, right? (Gambit #2)
Maybe the accents skip a generation. (Gambit #2)
They have fun. (Gambit #2)
The Tithe Collector knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men! (Gambit #2)
No, seriously, look at this Shadow-looking dude. (Gambit #2)
Fashion! (Gambit #3)
Well played. (Gambit #3)
I just really love that he changes into THIS for infiltration. (Gambit #3)
Candra got over pants centuries ago. (Gambit #3)
It’s cool that she survives and everything; but, ew. (Gambit #4)
Remy “John Constantine” LeBeau. (Gambit #3)
NEXT EPISODE: Rogue’s turn!

LINKS & FURTHER DRAMA:

  • Jay is writing a thing that may be relevant to your interests in the intersection of Marvel and audio.
  • We first encountered the T’ieves’ Guild in Episode 194 – Brood Trouble in the Big Easy.
  • Go watch Intacto; it’s brilliant.
  • The Thief of Always is basically Clive Barker in Ray Bradbury drag. It’s not going to blow your mind; but it’s a fun read.
  • As a gloomy ’90s teen, Jay was of course very into The Crow; which holds up surprisingly well. It can’t rain all the time!

 

244 – Terminal Nudity

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which X-Men don’t get to take vacations; Jay makes a somewhat belated announcement; sometimes Gambit is legitimately pretty cool; the assassins get a day-glo-up; The Crow holds up surprisingly well; Gambit gets exiled again; and Artie and Leech damn well better get to live happily ever after.

X-PLAINED:

  • Rogue and Gambit’s honeymoon
  • A thing that Jay is working on
  • Brood Trouble in the Big Easy
  • Bella Donna Boudreaux
  • Gambit #1-4
  • The New Orleans trilogy
  • “X-Ternally Yours”
  • The tithe collector
  • Things about which your mama may or may not have warned you
  • Dramatic captions
  • Candra
  • The Thieves’ and Assassins’ Guilds
  • The pact
  • Julian Boudreaux (again)
  • Henri LeBeau and his mustache
  • Critical nudity
  • Terminal nudity
  • Marius Boudreaux
  • Accent inconsistencies
  • Draping
  • Jean Luc LeBeau
  • Treachery most foul
  • (Select elements of) Gamit’s origin story
  • How thieves get kids
  • Gambit as a romantic hero
  • Ungrateful children of the Marvel Universe
  • Petite Chou
  • Clubbing with Gambit
  • Subtlety (for some value of the term)
  • Lifestyles of the rich and immortal
  • The Church of Lost Thieves
  • The Elixir of Life
  • An undersold side effect
  • A very lucky break
  • Artie and Leech’s probable adult lives
  • Villains we’d like to see on the X-Men

NEXT EPISODE: Rogue!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 235 – Fatal Extractions

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
If there’s anything I look for in an event anniversary issue, it’s an interrupted funeral. (Uncanny X-Men #304)
Nobody likes Fabian Cortez. (Uncanny X-Men #304)
“Always alone… and always dramatic.” (Uncanny X-Men #304)
Speaking of dramatic… (Uncanny X-Men #304)
One of the best of many callbacks. (Uncanny X-Men #304)
Ouch. (Uncanny X-Men #304)
I’m curious about a lot of the inclusions and exclusions in this crowd. (Uncanny X-Men #304)
BEHOLD! (Uncanny X-Men #304)
“We live in space.” (Uncanny X-Men #304)
I wonder how many issues have had variations on this title. (X-Men #25)
HE’S VERY CLEARLY FACING AWAY. (X-Men #25)
Dang, Magneto. (X-Men #25)
“Professor, this plan is terrible.” (X-Men #25)
This implies that Xavier’s decision to wipe Magneto’s mind was the plan from the start… (X-Men #25)
Dr. Spock would like a word with you, Magneto. (X-Men #25)
“Damnit, that was my favorite shirt!” (X-Men #25)
That’s gotta smart. (X-Men #25)
…Well, damn. (X-Men #25)
Please note that even bereft of his mind, Magneto’s cape is DRAMATIC AS HELL. (X-Men #25)
NEXT EPISODE: Reality bites.

235 – Fatal Extractions (Fatal Attractions, Part 2)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Magneto may or may not own a Namor body pillow; Cyclops probably doesn’t color-code his files; Colossus is Not Okay; bats are nature’s flashers; there are a lot of reasons to be mad at Fatal Attractions; Charles Xavier is surprisingly durable; the X-Men know their Aeschylus; Jean Grey goes in through the face; and bringing Wolverine to fight the guy who controls metal was probably not a great idea.

X-PLAINED:

  • Mutant Alpha
  • Uncanny X-Men #304
  • X-Men #25
  • False foreshadowing
  • Costume storage and display
  • Relative moral event horizons
  • The character dehabilitation of Magneto
  • The Magneto Protocols
  • How Cyclops organizes his files
  • An excellent eulogy
  • The complicated legacy of Illyana Rasputin
  • Several noteworthy absences
  • A memorable funeral
  • The ‘behold’ thing
  • A protective mesh of electromagnetic fire
  • A well-played callback
  • A strategically dubious plan
  • Several Prometheus Bound quotations
  • An uncharitable assumption
  • The blood-brain barrier
  • A severe costume injury
  • The definitive scene of Fatal Attractions
  • The root of Onslaught
  • Which X-Men would podcast
  • Our preferred comics formats

NEXT EPISODE: Colossus still can’t catch a break

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 230 – Touchstones

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Or, alternately, read something that won’t make you cry? You do you. (Uncanny X-Men #303)
Nobody stands casually like that. NOBODY. (Uncanny X-Men #303)
Another scene from the alternate universe where A Fish Called Wanda was a heartwarming tearjerker about friendship and loss. (Uncanny X-Men #303)
I just. The art. (Uncanny X-Men #303)
Jean X-Plains Kitty and Illyana. (Uncanny X-Men #303)
“It won’t save her, but she’ll at least get to play some Rad Racer.” (Uncanny X-Men #303)
Aw, man. (Uncanny X-Men #303)
AW, MAN. (Uncanny X-Men #303)
Andy Kubert is really exceptionally good at drawing kisses and almost-kisses. (X-Men #24)
(It’s okay. They’ll work it out.) (X-Men #24)
I really appreciate Beast’s casual use of the word “panache” here. (X-Men #24)
Aw, these kids. (X-Men #24)
…which is the cat, and which the mouse, and which the mousecat, and which the catmouse, and… (X-Men #24)
If you need me, I’ll be over here, crying. (X-Men #24)
These two have been written pretty unevenly over the years, so it’s easy to forget how good a couple they can be. (X-Men #24)
CEILING MAGNETO IS WATCHING YOU… well, you get the idea. (X-Men #24)
What If: Magik is very much the story Illyana should have had.
This comic! (What If: Magik)
Dr. Strange, Master of the Mystic Arts, Kind of Bad at the Whole Person Thing. (What If: Magik)
I really wish I could just drop this whole comic into the visual companion, because it’s ALL this gorgeous. (What If: Magik)
My heart. (What If: Magik)
Aw, these two awkward sorcerer friends. (What If: Magik)
That’s. My. Girl. (What If: Magik)
NEXT EPISODE: The other X-Cutioner!

LINKS & OTHER TRAGEDIES:

230 – Touchstones

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which tragedy strikes; leisure suits are underappreciated; Jubilee is fundamentally opposed to feelings; that MCU joke would definitely have been hilarious; we have trouble accepting Beast as a 20-something; when Gambit and Rogue work, they work; Wolverine makes an unlikely agony aunt; Dr. Strange was the mentor Illyana Rasputin really needed; and What If: Magik is pretty much a perfect comic.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Human High Council
  • Many terrible things that have happened to the Rasputin family
  • Uncanny X-Men #303
  • X-Men #24
  • What If: Magik
  • A tonal disconnect
  • Leisure Suit Larry
  • A prospective movie marathon
  • Insecurity
  • Molecular Cohesion Unit
  • The death of Illyana Rasputin (and its aftermath)
  • Death in America
  • A dubious idea for a theme park
  • A reunion
  • Papa Gumbo’s Cajun Cookout
  • Illyana Rasputin and Dr. Strange
  • Navigating vs. erasing trauma
  • Why What If: Magik is absolutely amazing
  • How to cite X-Men volumes
  • Earth-242 (Earth on Fire)

NEXT EPISODE: The other X-Cutioner!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

As Mentioned in Episode 222 – A Tale of Two Betsys

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Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Spoiler: It’s Betsy Braddock’s original body. (X-Men #20)
Does it seem weird to anyone else that Jubilee is putting her skates on in Professor X’s news den? Is there even room for that? (X-Men #20)
That’s not how gravity OR abs work. (X-Men #20)
BETSY NO (X-Men #20)
We have reached peak Scott Summers. (X-Men #20)
This stuff will be a running backbeat to the remainder of Scott and Jean’s relationship. (X-Men #20)
WHAT?! (X-Men #20)
These reaction faces are priceless. (X-Men #20)
Sure, that’s what you CLAIM, but so far Colossus has not thrown Devil Dinosaur at anybody, so I’m suspicious. (X-Men #21)
Kwannon seems to like posing for pictures about as much as Jay does. (X-Men #21)
Same face, same hair–who wore it better?! (X-Men #21)
This guy, AGAIN. (X-Men #21)
At this point, Matsuo’s hair may actually be more aggressively styled than Wolverine’s. (X-Men #22)
Betsy and/or Kwannon X-Plains Betsy and/or Kwannon. (X-Men #22)
Betsy and/or Kwannon X-Plains Betsy and/or Kwannon. (X-Men #22)
Betsy and/or Kwannon X-Plains Betsy and/or Kwannon. (X-Men #22)
“As completely as I understand what happens when two people like each other very much.” (X-Men #23)
And so forth. (X-Men #23)
And you thought that conversations with YOUR grandparents were awkward. (X-Men #22)
The creepiest thing about Sinister is the moments of profound disconnect when it’s clearly Sinister, but everyone reacts to him like he’s just a regular dude. (X-Men #22)
In which Scott Summers continues to never under any circumstances be allowed to take an actual vacation. (X-Men #22)
Seriously. (X-Men #23)
Heralding several decades of nonsense. (X-Men #23)
NEXT EPISODE: Dracula, live at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival!

LINKS & FURTHER SORROWS