In which the Cross-Time Caper continues; alliteration is awesome; someone else’s geopolitical conflict is not an appropriate place to play out your pirate fantasies; we are definitely not actually going to eat Alan Davis’s brains; Jamie Braddock is Evil Rex Racer; Widget eats a car; Rick Leonardi is the definitive fill-in artist; the problem is patriarchy; and everything’s sticky in Madripoor.
- Excalibur #16-19
- A John Carter riff
- A mysterious and dubiously reliable narrator
- A terrible pick-up line
- Gender-neutral fantasy armor
- Implicit fellatio in several media
- Space Fred Savage
- An alternate Jean Grey (and her untimely demise)
- Tullamore Voge
- A grand tourney
- A deeply disappointing pastiche
- Dirty Pair (and a sustained riff thereon)
- What makes a train sexy
- Wolverine’s table manners
- Jim Jaspers vs. Jamie Braddock vs. Jamie Jeffers
NEXT EPISODE: Fill-In Frenzy!
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The 2008 live-action Speed Racer movie is one of my favorite movies of all time. I’ve seen it easily a dozen times, and I still think it should have won every single possible award, including the ones for which it doesn’t technically qualify and a special new award made specifically to recognize Emile Hirsch’s perfect delivery of the perfect line “Inspector Detector suspected foul play.”
God, I love that movie.
ANYWAY, last night, a conversation on Twitter–specifically pursuant to James F. Wright and Josh Eckert’s pretty damn brilliant Children of the Engine concept–reminded me of the fact that it contains what I keep thinking should be pieces of an awesome Speed Racer / X-Men conspiracy theory.
Consider: Comics Cyclops is basically cosplaying Racer X at this point. Scott Porter, who played pre-Racer X Rex Racer in the 2008 film, voiced Cyclops in both the X-Men anime and the Marvel Heroes MMO; and Racer X’s movie costume is pretty much exactly Cyclops’s old X-Factor uniform, down to the color scheme.
I realize that that these things totally fail to resolve into anything resembling a respectable conspiracy theory. But I still feel vaguely that there should be something there, if only because finding a way to neatly streamline my pop-culture obsessions would probably save a lot of time and action-figure shelf space.