Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Tag: X-Force

489 – The Eyepatch of Love

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In which Pete Wisdom does his best Charles Xavier; Alastair Stuart has not aged well; San Francisco has monster problems; and there’s probably an alternate universe where Dr. Niles Roman fronts a metal band for toddlers.

X-PLAINED:

  • The value of Pete Wisdom
  • X-Force #102-105
  • Revolution (more) (again)
  • Counter X (more) (again)
  • Flight
  • Elf stuff
  • Alastair Stuart (again)
  • The eyepatch of love
  • Science City 53
  • Meatspore stormtroopers
  • Project Cuckoo
  • Dr. Niles Roman
  • Tactics vs. Strategy
  • Monster problems
  • The Violence Machine
  • The apparent death of Pete Wisdom
  • What a good X-Force HQ needs
  • The most X-treme possible lineup

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men!

We’re still pretty wiped from DC, so the visual companion to this episode will be up later this week.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 482 – The Mutant Gene for Murder

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“Mr. Wisdom would have wanted me to show this much chest.” (X-Force #106)
A fitting tribute from Romany Wisdom (Mark II). (X-Force #106)
Come on, Cable totally would have trained X-Force on Robert’s Rules of Order. (X-Force #106)
“Well, you’re looking at a version of it that doesn’t yet have nearly enough black leather.” (X-Force #106)
Upon further consideration: yeah, Meltdown totally designed all of these. (X-Force #107)
Bedlam’s new powers! (X-Force #107)
Meltdown’s new powers! (X-Force #107)
Proudstar’s new powers! (X-Force #107)
“You see, I have the mutant gene for murder.” (X-Force #107)
Domino understood the fashion assignment. (X-Force #108)
Remember, you can shoot the eyeball for double damage. (X-Force #108)
Spy stuff. (X-Force #108)
First you murder all of the children at this birthday party, and then you have the gall to criticize the host’s baking? (X-Force #108)
Meet these guys! But don’t get too attached. (X-Force #108)
But that doesn’t… it looks nothing like… ah, never mind. (X-Force #108)
You can read the entirety of New Mutants and X-Force as the history of Cannonball learning to turn. (X-Force #109)
I bet he’s using his Cable voice for this threat. (X-Force #109)
Tsung has probably seen The Matrix like, a lot. (X-Force #109)
That’s our Tabitha! (X-Force #109)
Mr. Giger sends his regards. (X-Force #109)
NEXT TIME: Claremont’s back!

482 – The Mutant Gene for Murder

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In which Pete Wisdom canonically smells weird; we are inordinately entertained by a villain; everyone levels up their superpowers; and you probably shouldn’t shave the logo of your secret super team into the side of your head.

X-PLAINED:

  • Nasty Boys disambiguation
  • X-Force #106-109
  • Counter X (more) (again)
  • Shockwave (more) (again)
  • Turn-of-the-millennium cool
  • X-Force (more) (again)
  • How to dress for funerals, I guess?
  • How Pete Wisdom smells
  • Romany Wisdom (again)
  • Marcus Tsung
  • Mind bullets
  • Nightman
  • Our first audience challenge in a really long time
  • A bad nickname
  • X-Force’s new looks
  • A thing growing out of Domino’s back
  • Several enigmas shrouded in mystery
  • The worst birthday party
  • Abel, Baker, and Charlie
  • Fish
  • The Factory
  • Telepathic “voices”
  • The miracle of magnetism

NEXT EPISODE: The return of Chris Claremont!

LISTENERS! We want to hear your Marcus Tsung murder ballads! Send ‘em to [email protected] with the subject line MUTANT MURDER BALLAD, and we’ll stick ‘em on the web or play ‘em on the show!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 478 – The Monologue Tube

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Alan Davis protests the death of Cyclops. (From this link)
X-teams, past to present. (At least the ones who still had comics in 2000.) (Uncanny X-Men #379)
Well, at least this time he’s leaving with someone other than those five motorcycle guys who could turn into a sixth motorcycle guy. (Uncanny X-Men #379)
It really, really isn’t. (Uncanny X-Men #379)
“…why do you call yourself X-Man, anyway?” (Uncanny X-Men #379)
Suddenly, the plot! (Uncanny X-Men #379)
“Sacre blue, non! Our elf ears!” (Uncanny X-Men #379)
“you guys i am so mad right now you have no idea” (Uncanny X-Men #379)
Toad, did you just… have that mirror with you? (Uncanny X-Men #379)
Just a really good cover. (X-Force #101)
That pacing, though. (X-Force #101)
Aww man. (X-Force #101)
We’ve all been there, kid. Well, maybe not exactly there, but like… metaphorically. (X-Force #101)
Meltdown counsels a sad child in a comic by Joseph Harris, part 2. (X-Force #101)
Doctor Wily, is that you? (X-Men #99)
“You wanna play paintball with us?” (X-Men #99)
How does a costume that looks so good when you’re blue look so silly when you’re not? (X-Men #99)
I’m not so sure about this Storm-and-Marrow-as-camp-counselors subplot, but I do love me some soap opera. (X-Men #99)
Businesspeople and bikers: the two genders. (X-Men #99)
Tentacle-guys, demons, and hulks: the three genders. (X-Men #99)
Mystique really misses that lamp. (Uncanny X-Men #380)
Logan may be dying, but his eyebrows are very impressive right now. (Uncanny X-Men #380)
“Plus, they charged us like thirty bucks just to bring a carry-on!” (Uncanny X-Men #380)
The S stands for Sexy. (Uncanny X-Men #380)
We’ve all had that dream, Blob. (Uncanny X-Men #380)
Bye, Alan Davis! It’s been weird but pretty fun! (Uncanny X-Men #380)
NEXT TIME: Magneto versus everybody.

478 – The Monologue Tube

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In which Alan Davis is Team Cyclops; everyone gets depowered; it’s hard to connect with kids your age when you’re a superhero; Sinister’s gotta sinister; everyone gets repowered; and the ‘90s were much more eclectic than they get credit for being.

X-PLAINED:

  • Side effects of Decimation
  • Uncanny X-Men #379-380
  • X-Force #101
  • X-Men #99
  • Cadre K
  • Summers family drama
  • The High Evolutionary (more) (again)
  • The (other) time all the mutants got depowered
  • Kevin
  • A very beautiful book
  • The ongoing mess of Genoshan politics
  • The Neo (slightly)
  • To what extent Logan’s claws are a mutant power
  • Sinister monologues
  • Herbert Evolutionary
  • The New New Men
  • The ‘90s, in general
  • What makes a Morlock

NEXT EPISODE: Magneto: Dark Seduction!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 475 – Cross-Time Crisis

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If ever there was a time to bring back Bill Sienkiewicz for a cover… (X-Force #99)
Look at that varied crowd of background characters! And also that pig backpack! (X-Force #99)
Black toner cartridge has been depleted. Please replace black toner cartridge. (X-Force #99)
Is there a ghost in that necklace? Or maybe Malice 2.0? We’ll never know. (X-Force #99)
Sometimes, the bear eats you. (X-Force #99)
Don’t apologize for your awesome fantasy world, Arcadia! It’s great! (X-Force #99)
Creeeeepy doll. (X-Force #99)
Hi, Triune Understanding subplot! Bye, Triune Understanding subplot! (X-Force #99)
Not with a whimper, but with a bang and also a lot of narration. (X-Force #99)
Meet Dani, Dani, Dani, and Dani. (X-Force #99)
The Queen of the Star Swords: multiversal conqueror and also heavy metal album cover subject. (X-Force #100)
That’s all we get to see of the Queen of the Star Swords’ citadel. Looks like it’s probably pretty cool, though, right? (X-Force #100)
Less spiky than in the present day, but still a good look, Queen. (X-Force #100)
And that’s it for the resurrected-Juliana subplot. At least this one gets a satisfying, if sad, conclusion. (X-Force #100)
Well, the inside of the citadel looks pretty cool, at least! (X-Force #100)
Meet X-Force of Earth-130000! (X-Force #100)
It’s X-Force of Earth-8280, we think! Maybe Cannonball was supposed to be Cypher? (X-Force #100)
The saddest X-Force, numerical reality designation unknown. (X-Force #100)
X-Force of Earth-10003, AKA the Pete Wisdom-verse. (X-Force #100)
X-Force of… a lot of places. Fight! (X-Force #100)
“I’ll zap you so hard you’ll turn into a baby!” (X-Force #100)
G’Journey, Cable of Earth-3100… (X-Force #100)
…and G’Journey, John Francis Moore’s X-Force. (X-Force #100)
NEXT TIME: Mondo’s back, for the first time!

475 – Cross-Time Crisis

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Meet Dani, Dani, Dani, and Dani. (X-Force #99)

In which we wrap up John Francis Moore’s run on X-Force; the Demon Bear returns (kinda); four Moonstars are not in fact better than one; the Queen of Star Swords is an extremely rad villain; and X-Force takes a very contained multiversal tour.

X-PLAINED:

  • Multiversal canon
  • X-Force #99-100
  • The Demon Bear (more) (again)
  • Arcadia DeVille (more) (again)
  • Mary Weather
  • Fenwick
  • Meridian
  • The Queen of Star Swords
  • The Cathedral
  • Cable (but not that Cable)
  • The X-Forces of several universes
  • Earth-3100
  • Earth-10003
  • Earth-130000
  • Earth-8280
  • Earth-23100
  • Non-mutants on the X-Men
  • The provenance of the Brood X-men

NEXT EPISODE: Mondo! (The real one, this time.)

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 473 – The Baker’s Dozen (The Twelve, Part Three)

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You know it’s serious business when someone smashes the logo. (Uncanny X-Men #377)
How long did it take him to set up that machinery? (Uncanny X-Men #377)
He said it! He said it! (Uncanny X-Men #377)
Apocalypse’s balls. (Uncanny X-Men #377)
Apocalypse’s balls, version two. (Cable #76)
A younger Cable. (Cable #76)
Aw, man. (Cable #76)
FEELINGS. (Cable #76)
Potato snow. (Cable #76)
Maybe the bodice is scale, not quilted? But it really looks quilted. (Cable #76)
The power of continuity! (X-Men #97)
The chewy center of Apocalypse. (X-Men #97)
And THAT’S how you reference Uncanny X-Men #137. (X-Men #97)
Well, shit. (X-Men #97)
NEXT EPISODE: Jay & Miles 2024 Winter Special!

LINKS & FURTHER ADVENTURES

473 – The Baker’s Dozen (The Twelve, Part Three)

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In which you know it’s serious business when a logo gets smashed; the prophecy of the Twelve is an elaborate prank; we have a lot of Summers family feelings; Apocalypse is not a very good planner; and the Twelve reaches its conclusion.

X-PLAINED:

  • Who Madelyne Pryor’s psychic ghost really is
  • The story so far
  • Uncanny X-Men #377
  • Cable #76
  • X-Men #97
  • Perks of immortality
  • A slightly gratuitous way to destroy an airplane
  • Several doppelgangers
  • Apocalypse’s big, stupid plan
  • A fancy science machine
  • The Atomium
  • The Twelve
  • The three elements
  • The best issue of the Twelve
  • Orb action
  • Cable’s knowledge of history
  • Summers feelings
  • How to establish stakes
  • Potato storms
  • The mutant Skrulls (more) (again)
  • Cadre K
  • Categories of mutants
  • How to beta test an Armageddon machine
  • Alpha nerd Charles Xavier
  • Weaponized continuity
  • The color(s) of Cyclops’s eyes
  • How to evoke Uncanny X-Men #137
  • An unfortunate twist
  • Mundane uses of superpowers
  • The Altar
  • What would have improved the Twelve

NEXT EPISODE: Winter Special!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 470 – Large Adult Men

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Nipples? Spigots? Weirdly evenly spaced barnacles? You be the judge! (Cable #73)
Neither that font nor that neck is acceptable. (Cable #73)
The fonts in this book are killing me. (Cable #73)
Hug #1. (Cable #73)
Hug #2. (Cable #73)
Perspective? I hardly know ‘er! Wait. Damnit. (Cable #73)
What’s REALLY on the CD? Tell us in the comments! (Cable #73)
Caliban: Tailor of Apocalypse! (Cable #73)
The juxtaposition between the art and text in this pane is extremely funny. (Cable #73)
Quick-change! (Cable #74)
Deathbird, or possibly Warbird now. (Cable #74)
Whoops. (Cable #74)
He looks so over it. (Cable #74)
Ewwwww. (Wolverine #145)
He does look pretty rad, though. (Wolverine #145)
THAT HORSE (Wolverine #145)
Large man being large. (Wolverine #145)
The first time the new claws come out. (Wolverine #145)
NEXT EPISODE: We couldn’t put it off forever.

LINKS & FURTHER NONSENSE