Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

HAWK TALK – Basketball

This would usually be a skip week, but thanks to some generous donors to Equality Florida, Hawk Talk is back! This week, we talk about basketball. (Kind of.)



  1. Hi–when I was in junior high in the 80s, they used to do a fundraising activity called “Donkey Basketball.” It’s exactly what it sounds like. They’d hire an third-party organization that ran Donkey Basketball events to come to the school. They donkeys would wear protective shoes to keep the floor from getting damaged, and teachers would ride around on them in the gym shooting baskets. I think students voted to pick which teachers would be on the donkeys. The donkeys also pooped on the floor, because, well, donkeys.

    Now that I’ve done a little looking, I guess they still do this. I would have liked to have learned that concern for donkey welfare had let this thing fade into memory, but now I am just sad.

  2. So this crossover is right in my wheel house, if you want follow-up on loose ends and my observations from the pod read on, if not have a good day

    Original basket was a broken peach basket
    Free Throws
    1. really bad foul
    2. player fouled while shooting
    3. team committing foul has exceeded foul limit for that period
    Dribbling – Jay is correct in that the refs have some level of discretion when calling
    After the goats its Velociraptors hence the Toronto Raptors
    Basketball Specific Names in NBA – Brooklyn (formerly New Jersey) Nets
    On Tampa Bay Devil Rays controversy, team got fed up and changed name to just Tampa Bay Rays
    Basketball is generally 5-on-5. NBA teams have 12 players each
    Backwards jeans popularized by teen hip-hop duo Kris Kross
    NBA players featured in Space Jam
    Michael Jordan
    Larry Bird
    Talent Stolen
    Charles Barkley
    Shawn Bradley
    Patrick Ewing
    Larry Johnson
    Muggsy Bogues
    On Small Ball – Daryl Morey, an NBA executive currently with the Philadelphia 76ers, commissioned a musical around inhabitants of the Ilse of Lilliput wanting to play basketball
    they were close, basket balls are Lichens not Fungi
    everything else they said on basket balls is correct

  3. I’ve never been a big sports fan but I have accumulated some knowledge by osmosis.

    From what I understand of American Football, the game is basically 300 lbs. in red uniforms crash into 300 lbs. in blue uniform and whomever comes up breathing, carries the ball.

    Baseball is America’s favorite past time if their favorite past time is having to fall asleep to.

    I actually appreciate European Soccer since it requires players to use their head to score points instead of relying solely on their hands.

    Blitzball is definitely a spectator sport.

    Quiditch is cool in the movies but rendered pointless by the existence of the Sneetch.

    And having been forced to play basketball in gym the only thing I really learned about it was to watch out for the rebound from a failed lay-up. It took two basketballs to the face before I realized how crucial this was.

    1. “Baseball is America’s favorite past time if their favorite past time is having to fall asleep to.”

      Ahem, should be: having SOMETHING to fall asleep to.

  4. I have not listened to every Hawk Talk, but I am pretty sure these hawks are the best hawks ever to have featured. May I suggest crocodiles for the role of metagoat? They’re more obtainable than dinosaurs, and probably faster than tapirs, which is important for catching the goats.

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