Miles

As Mentioned in Episode 378 – The Unstoppable Huggernaut

July 10, 2022 Miles 2 comments

Listen to the episode here.

That is a lot of Cain Marko. (Juggernaut #1)

WE’VE GOT SMEK SIGN! WE’VE GOT SMEK SIGN! (Juggernaut #1)

I do not want to be in Juggernaut’s fraternity, please. (Juggernaut #1)

I honestly do not know whether D’Spayre or his chompy demons look cooler. (Juggernaut #1)

They’ve been busy. (Juggernaut #1)

Presenting Black Tom Cassidy’s forked beard and his forked… boots? (Juggernaut #1)

Same outfit as last time, but Spite looks rad as hell in this story. (Juggernaut #1)

Aww shit D’Spayre looks even cooler here (Juggernaut #1)

Even Juggernaut’s skeleton is beefy. (Juggernaut #1)

Jay disapproves of this butt. (Generation X Annual 1997)

“You can’t be Catseye! Your hair is wrong and you’re not talking like Yoda! Aaaaaaand also you’re dead!” (Generation X Annual 1997)

“Thanks for saying my logo right, Jubes.” (Generation X Annual 1997)

Aww, kids. (Generation X Annual 1997)

March 2020 – present (Generation X Annual 1997)

Nothing brings out backstory like a Fear Lord! (Generation X Annual 1997)

Did the power pairings of the current New Mutants run get their start here? Prrrrrobably not. (Generation X Annual 1997)

That’s one biiiiig leprechaun in that executioner’s hood. (Generation X Annual 1997)

When Chamber’s mutant powers first manifested, they destroyed not only his lower jaw and upper chest, but also his swole-ness. (Generation X Annual 1997)

NEXT TIME: Space fashion!

As Mentioned in Episode 377 – Sam Hill

July 10, 2022 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Milo is better at dominoes than Miles. (Domino #1)

Oh ay oh ay indeed! (Domino #1)

“Miss you? Dude, I barely remember who you are!” (Domino #1)

“And my boots are still full of ninja stars!” (Domino #1)

Is that… a Nike beret? Puck makes it work, though. (Domino #1)

Solid Snake she ain’t. (Domino #1)

Ah, the classic narrative conflict of (wo)man versus man(droid). (Domino #1)

Not exactly the red carpet Domino was hoping for. (Domino #1)

Domino gets strangled, part one. (Domino #2)

…did that explosion just say “Kablooey”? (Domino #2)

Man, that flashback must have been a long time ago. Look how much more hair she has! (Domino #2)

Between this place and the Witness’s cell in Bishop’s future… Are prisons just extra sexy in the Marvel Universe? (Domino #2)

“Ah, we do have fun.” (Domino #2)

Jay disapproves of robot tits. (Domino #2)

Domino gets strangled, part two. (Domino #2)

Domino gets strangled, part three. (Domino #3)

Pay no attention to the mysterious silhouette behind the curtain. (Domino #3)

Somehow, Milo Thurman’s studies of history never included learning just how very common faking one’s own death tends to be in X-books. (Domino #3)

I feel like Domino’s powers have a sense of humor. (Domino #3)

Domino may be an member of X-Force, but she learned how to enter rooms from X-Factor. (Domino #3)

I… but… what? (Domino #3)

Oof. (Domino #3)

PUCK WHY WOULD YOU DRESS LIKE THAT (Domino #3)

NEXT TIME: D’Spayre.

HAWK TALK – The Voyage of the Mimi

June 26, 2022 Miles 13 comments

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This would usually be a skip week, but thanks to some generous donors to Equality Florida, Hawk Talk is back! This week’s topic was chosen by Chuck Reynolds.

As Mentioned in Episode 376 – Moore of This

June 19, 2022 Miles Leave a comment

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

You’ve come a long way from tick-tick-boom, Tabitha. (X-Force #63)

Dammit, X-Force! You were already living in the same house as the X-Men, and now you have their color scheme too? (X-Force #63)

When continuity is character. (X-Force #63)

Oh, great, it’s that dream again. (X-Force #63)

Yep, Lila Cheney is just that good. (X-Force #63)

“Alright, Agents! Just like we practiced: POSE!” (X-Force #63)

Ah, come on, Bobby – you’ve been to space and multiple other dimensions. Get over yourself. (X-Force #64)

Meanwhile in Spookytown (X-Force #64)

GAVEEDRA BENJAMIN SEVEN YOU PUT THOSE SWORDS DOWN RIGHT NOW OR I SWEAR (X-Force #64)

But… but ambush is the exact thing you just did! (X-Force #64)

We immediately love John Francis Moore’s Meltdown. (X-Force #64)

We’ve missed you, Julio. (X-Force #64)

Michael McCain, AKA Forearm, AKA a guy in a shirt best described as “normal”. (Cable & X-Force Annual 1997)

You put that down! Bad dog! Drop it! DROP IT! (Cable & X-Force Annual 1997)

Meltdown auditions for Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men. (Cable & X-Force Annual 1997)

Like the Rainbow Bridge but somehow more cosmic! Or at least differently cosmic. (Cable & X-Force Annual 1997)

Presenting Malekith the Accursed. (Cable & X-Force Annual 1997)

Is Caliban huge or is Shatterstar tiny? The world will never know! (Cable & X-Force Annual 1997)

Our high school English teacher always told us we needed to learn the rules of writing so we could more effectively break them. This page does that with its panel borders. (Cable & X-Force Annual 1997)

Mutants and dwarves and giants, oh my! (Cable & X-Force Annual 1997)

Hela: goddess of death and high fashion. (Cable & X-Force Annual 1997)

NEXT TIME: Do not mess with Domino.

LINKS AND FURTHER READING

Previously on Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men:
- Miles and guest x-pert Elisabeth Allie talked about the X-Men and Alpha Flight’s visit to the Viking citadel in Episode 47: The Price of Power!
- To learn about the New Mutants’ first visit to Asgard (and Mirage becoming a Valkyrie), check out Episode 48: Guitar Solos of the Gods!
- We discussed the New Mutants second visit to Asgard (and Mirage’s corruption by Hela) in Episode 127: Disaster City and Episode 132: Nornheim Lemonade!
Miles and Elisabeth Allie covered Walter Simonson’s entire epic Thor run in their limited-series podcast THOR: The Lightning and the Storm!

As Mentioned in Episode 375 – One Thousand Kicks to the Face

June 19, 2022 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

So many textures! (X-Men #60)

Ororo, you’re a good enough thief that you could probably afford clothes without holes in them… or is that a style thing? (X-Men #60)

I mean, this is definitely implying that Storm ran around the bronze age with Candra’s Heart as a fashion accessory, right? (X-Men #60)

“Dammit Ororo, did you learn nothing from my brother?!” (X-Men #60)

Candra as shibari lobster once more, now with ear-mandibles! (X-Men #60)

Remember that one Punisher movie where Frank set a bunch of cars on fire in the shape of a big skull? That was kinda cool. (X-Men #60)

Tiny mustache or shadow – you be the judge! (X-Men #60)

I know the Shadow King is supposed to be dead at this point, but that has to be him! Look at the speech bubble borders! (X-Men #60)

Suddenly, ninjas. (X-Men #61)

Ooh, nice visual flow. (X-Men #61)

“As opposed to that time I had kidney stones, which was only about three hundred kicks to the face!” (X-Men #61)

Logan is tasting the air like a snake! (X-Men #61)

Storm gets Candra’s hopes up… (X-Men #61)

…before Cyclops ZARKs them upon the rocks. That’s cold, guys. (X-Men #61)

Is it, though? (X-Men Unlimited #14)

Matching nightshirts! (X-Men Unlimited #14)

Whoa. Nicely done, Jim Cheung. (X-Men Unlimited #14)

Idyllic! (X-Men Unlimited #14)

Never change, Artie. (X-Men Unlimited #14)

Ever see Children of the Corn, Joe? (X-Men Unlimited #14)

I wish everyone had a dad this supportive. (X-Men Unlimited #14)

No moppet should moppet alone! (X-Men Unlimited #14)

NEXT TIME: Back to Asgard!

HAWK TALK – Doonesbury

May 29, 2022 Miles 9 comments

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This would usually be a skip week, but thanks to some generous donors to Equality Florida, Hawk Talk is back! This week’s topic was chosen by Andy Bartholomew.

As Mentioned in Episode 373 – Tainted Loins

May 22, 2022 Miles 7 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Looks like your dad’s pain is a little worse than yours, Bobby. (Uncanny X-Men #340)

Now that is 1996 Sam Guthrie. Finally. (Uncanny X-Men #340)

Graydon Creed according to Joe Madureira… and Victor Creed as a glass of whiskey. (Uncanny X-Men #340)

If the command van’s a-knockin’… (Uncanny X-Men #340)

Joe Madureira’s mostly known for his action scenes, but he’s pretty great with quiet conversations too. (Uncanny X-Men #340)

Your government dresses you funny, Madrox. (X-Factor #128)

That’s so Raven. (X-Factor #128)

Graydon Creed according to Jeff Matsuda… and Harper, who is well aware of the need for discretion. (X-Factor #128)

Mystique transforms, version 1. (X-Factor #128)

Sabretooth and less-interesting-Sabretooth. (X-Factor #128)

Val Cooper just got back from the most dangerous sleepover ever. (X-Factor #129)

I love it when powers cross panel borders. (X-Factor #129)

Mystique transforms, version 2. (X-Factor #129)

Having grown up in the 90s, I can assure you this is quite an accomplishment. (X-Factor #129)

Well I’m impressed. (X-Factor #129)

Ah, that explains it. (X-Factor #129)

Scrawling SOON across your son’s campaign poster is the first step in saving his life. (X-Factor #129)

Blowing a hole in your son’s campaign poster is the second step in saving his life. (X-Factor #130)

Blowing additional holes in your son’s campaign poster is the third step in saving his life. (X-Factor #130)

Mystique transforms, version 3. (X-Factor #130)

Graydon Creed according to Eric Battle… and Val Cooper has changed out of her sleepwear. (X-Factor #130)

I’m just writing a visual companion, and I kinda want to yell “GUARDS”. (X-Factor #130)

This should’ve been two-thirds of the issue instead of two pages. (X-Factor #130)

Snazzy! (X-Factor #130)

Raven, just interrupt! You’re allowed! (X-Factor #130)

And with that..! (X-Factor #130)

NEXT EPISODE: Hawk Talk! IN TWO WEEKS: Frank Punisher meets Carl the X-Cutioner.

373 – Tainted Loins

May 22, 2022 Miles 7 comments

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In which the Drake Roberts identity is retired; Gambit bonds with William Drake; Graydon Creed is evil but nondescript; tales of Pyro’s death have been somewhat exaggerated; and some mysteries resolve better than others.

X-PLAINED:

Damian Tryp
X-Factor (more) (again)
Uncanny X-Men #340
X-Factor #128-30
More Drake family dynamics
The Sword of Shannara
The general vagueness of Graydon Creed
Several ninjas
Hound stuff
Val Cooper’s pajamas
An unexpected return
Shapeshifting
Overextended plotlines
Some unusually threatening dad jokes
The anticlimactic death of Graydon Creed
Some time travel bullshit
Which series are ending and which are relaunching between Reign of X and Destiny of X
How and when Colossus stopped being the Juggernaut

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: The Adventures of Carl & Frank

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 372 – Monty Python’s Life of Magnus

May 15, 2022 Miles 2 comments

Listen to the podcast here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Steven Tyler vs Mick Jagger? (Magneto #1)

Home security has come a long way since 1996. (Magneto #1)

Sometimes the art crosses the line from iffy to weirdly awesome. (Magneto #1)

The sparkles are a nice touch, Fabian. (Magneto #1)

He’s the messiah! (Magneto #1)

Where… where’d your hair go, man? (Magneto #1)

“Behold my logo font!” (Magneto #2)

Fabian, what did that bird ever do to you?! (Magneto #2)

Meanwhile, in the space-opera version of this story… (Magneto #2)

Kelley Jones really nails the moments of Joseph’s Magneto-facade slipping. (Magneto #2)

PLOP (Magneto #2)

I mean, those birds have ample reason to have misgivings themselves. Fabian Cortez could be anywhere! (Magneto #2)

This was pre-Lyft, see. (Magneto #2)

…magnetism..? (Magneto #3)

So say we all. (Magneto #3)

If Fabian Cortez had a mustache, he’d be twirling it right now. (Magneto #3)

AAAAAAAHHHHHHH (Magneto #3)

Only the real Magneto could maniacally cackle at an angle that dramatic! (Magneto #4)

Because it’s about time someone did. (Magneto #4)

Broadcast Standards & Practices salutes you, Joseph. (Magneto #4)

“…for twenty-three days or so…” (Magneto #4)

NEXT TIME: Mystique vs. politicians-being-alive, round 2. Sorta.

As Mentioned in Episode 371 – Beware of Psychodrama

May 8, 2022 Miles Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Before settling on paint and canvas, Piotr Rasputin’s first medium was the thought balloon. (Excalibur #104)

Douglock tries. (Excalibur #104)

Moira, I know a lot of us have been working from home for a while now, but you may have overdone the whole home-office thing just a tad. (Excalibur #104)

Douglock is so much less mean than Mystique usually is when angrily shapeshifting! (Excalibur #104)

LOOK SHE’S IN THE SHADOWS SHE COULD BE ANYONE OKAY (Excalibur #104)

Also, Dani never did that back in the day. (Excalibur #104)

Oh, Kitty. (Excalibur #104)

Pretty sure this cover was printed on black velvet. (Excalibur #105)

Bryan Hitch may be the first artist to make Wildside look genuinely intimidating. (Excalibur #105)

Kitty, those aren’t image inducers, they’re jackets, and you’re wearing one too. (Excalibur #105)

Sound effect as narrative tool. (Excalibur #105)

Kitty gave an emotional and heartfelt speech without using the N-word! (Excalibur #105)

Piotr Rasputin is the firestarter. Twisted firestarter. (Excalibur #106)

But seriously, this is one of the most visually engaging pages of backstory I’ve ever read. (Excalibur #106)

Meggan Puceanu, Actual Elf. (Excalibur #106)

Hey, it’s Frenzy! We love Frenzy! (Excalibur #106)

Jay is not okay with your thought-bubble-versus-computer-display redundancy, Moira. (Excalibur #106)

Excalibur, the comic where everyone is sexy all the time. (Excalibur #106)

Piotr, I think you put your pants on the wrong… you know what, you go, Russian cowboy. Now where did I put those singles… (Excalibur #106)

Metaphor by way of landmine. (Excalibur #106)

“And we’re going to ride bikes with Magneto and he’s going to take us to France!” (Excalibur #106)

NEXT TIME: No one rides bikes.

LINKS & FURTHER MISADVENTURES

We allude frequently to Warlock piloting around Doug’s corpse, which story we covered in Episode 91 – The Saddest Story Ever Told.

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