Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Category: podcasts

526 – Vengeful Mutants on Drugs

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Illustration by David Wynne

In which you should use drugs only with caution; a famous shirt makes its debut; Wolverine is the new Mary Worth; and you were never Quentin Quire’s age (unless you were).

X-PLAINED:

  • What Quentin Quire’s been up to since discorporating
  • New X-Men #135-138
  • The Special Class
  • Basilisk
  • Ernst
  • Dummy
  • No Girl
  • Whether the Xavier School should admit human students
  • Quentin’s new look
  • Kick (more) (again)
  • The Omega Gang
  • That one t-shirt
  • How to punch up your Power Point presentation
  • A somewhat fraught camping trip
  • The Special Class vs. U-Men
  • A secret
  • Some kind of weird affair
  • A riot, of sorts
  • Wolverine’s unfortunate soul patch
  • What actually happened to Jumbo Carnation
  • Telepathic deconstruction
  • The Cuckoos vs. Emma Frost
  • A somewhat mysterious secondary mutation
  • Denouement
  • The subsequent evolution of Quentin Quire
  • What’s happening to xplainthexmen.com when the show ends
  • The telepathy-telekinesis overlap

NEXT EPISODE: Murder!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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525 – Beyond This Death

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Illustration by David Wynne

In which Warren Kenneth Worthington III is a terrible teacher; we are all Magneto’s children; Sooraya Qadir deserves a better origin story; teenagers have a lot of feelings; and we meet one of the modern age’s most controversial mutants.

X-PLAINED:

  • The destiny of Quentin Quire
  • New X-Men #131-134
  • An underattended funeral
  • How to fly? Kinda? I guess?
  • A kiss
  • A friendship
  • Another bit of ruby quartz marginalia that will never be mentioned again
  • A somewhat ill-founded psychic metaphor
  • Emma Frost’s Dark Phoenix costume
  • Some kind of weird affair
  • Echoes of 9/11/2001
  • Genosha, a year later
  • Ghosts
  • Polaris’s paternity
  • Shocker (the mutant one)
  • The last words of Genosha
  • Islamophobia post 9/11
  • Sooraya Qadir (Dust)
  • An attempted hijacking and the aftermath thereof
  • Some Shi’ar nonsense
  • X-Corporation Mumbai
  • Jumbo Carnation
  • Telepathy class
  • An artist’s interpretation of the fate of mankind if mutants are not driven out, as predicted by Bolivar Trask
  • Accountability
  • Professor X’s weird little paintings
  • X-adjectives
  • Best and worst X-Men with whom to share a psychic rapport

NEXT EPISODE: Quentin Quire’s teen angst bullshit gets a body count!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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524 – House in a House

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Illustration by David Wynne

In which Xorn goes out on the town; silverware is morally neutral; Cyclops pursues dubious counsel; the X means ten; and Fantomex is eminently enjoyable.

X-PLAINED:

  • The parentage of Hope Summers
  • New X-Men #127-130
  • Mutant Town
  • A monster who is not a monster but is, perhaps, a metaphor
  • X-Corporation Paris
  • The whole Phoenix situation
  • Fantomex
  • Weapon XII
  • A gene-hazard
  • Corporal Animal
  • E.V.A.
  • The Weapon Plus program (somewhat)
  • The World (somewhat)
  • The Shi’ar Empire vs. Earth
  • Xorn variations

NEXT EPISODE: A Memorial of Magnetism

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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523 – This World of Liars

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Illustration by David Wynne

In which Wolverine learns to fly; pants are a basic human right; we decide to cherry-pick our Xorn retcons; Xavier’s eyebrows follow his mind; and the first year of New X-Men ends with a bang.

X-PLAINED:

  • The origin of the Shi’ar Imperial Guard
  • New X-Men #124-126
  • The current state of Charles Xavier’s body
  • G-Type
  • Neosaurus
  • Plutonia
  • Schism
  • Oracle
  • Stuf
  • Gladiator (more) (again)
  • Angel disambiguation
  • Several plans
  • Mutant justice
  • Several miracles of magnetism
  • Mummudrai
  • Horror movie shit
  • Subtle visual foreshadowing
  • A ruse
  • Education
  • Long-lost family members
  • What may or may not come after this

NEXT EPISODE: Fantomex!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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522 – Fetus Fight

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Illustration by David Wynne

In which Marvel goes wordless; Cassandra Nova breaks space; none of the X-Men have media training; and Gus was the best dog ever.

X-PLAINED:

  • Erik the Red (more) (again)
  • Kin Crimson
  • A big messy bag of mutant glory
  • New X-Men #121-123
  • ‘Nuff Said
  • A journey into Charles Xavier’s mind
  • What Emma is drinking
  • A fetus fight
  • The criminal culpability of a fetus
  • Space problems
  • A cosplay challenge
  • Space
  • Charles Xavier’s weird last wish
  • A press conference
  • Teen romance
  • The Stepford Cuckoos
  • Gus
  • Charles Xavier’s age
  • Nanosentinels
  • Stuf
  • Pre-ride safety announcements from the X-Men
  • Whether Cassandra Nova should’ve been a component of Onslaught

NEXT EPISODE: Cassandra Nova vs. the X-Men (Round 2)!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!

521 – Snowflakes

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Illustration by David Wynne

In which John Sublime sucks; Angel Salvatore rules; trauma does not justify evil; and you should never, ever, ever mess with Jean Grey.

X-PLAINED:

  • A horrifying revelation
  • The universe where Jay and Miles work for Cassandra Nova
  • New X-Men #118-120
  • John Sublime (more) (again)
  • The U-Men
  • Psychic energy, gender-reveal party-style
  • The Stepford Cuckoos
  • One way to disperse a mob
  • An uncivil conversation
  • The death and/or discomfort of many U-Men
  • An awakening of sorts
  • Squaring the phoenix
  • Hank McCoy’s “coming out”

NEXT EPISODE: The Shi’ar invade!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!

520 – Head Like a (Black) Hole

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Illustration by David Wynne

In which several individuals are not what they seem; John Sublime sucks; Cyclops talks Xorn down from a cosmic ledge; we meet the inimitable Beak; and Cassandra Nova makes herself (limitedly) known.

X-PLAINED:

  • John Sublime
  • Marvelscope™
  • New X-Men 2001 Annual
  • New X-Men #117
  • Xorn
  • X-Corporation
  • The U-Men
  • Ao Jun (and his super gross mutant power)
  • Synchronized heists
  • Psychometry vs. telepathy
  • A big eventual twist
  • Beak (Barnell Bohusk)
  • A kiss
  • Some really fucked up use of telepathy
  • Some Moira MacTaggert continuity nonsense

NEXT EPISODE: U-Men vs. X-Men

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!

519 – Beautiful People With Incredible Powers

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Illustration by David Wynne

In which we start the Morrison Run; Professor X gets his hands on Chekhov’s gun; Cassandra Nova raises X-villains to a new level of weird; and humanity is running on borrowed time.

X-PLAINED:

  • No-Girl
  • New X-Men #114-116
  • Grant Morrison and their approach to the X-Men
  • Superhero fashion
  • Cerebra
  • Beast’s new look
  • Ugly John
  • Interpersonal dynamics
  • Cassandra Nova (somewhat)
  • Donald Trask
  • Master Molds
  • Wild Sentinels
  • Emma Frost (more) (again)
  • Negasonic Teenage Warhead (the original)
  • The fall of Genosha
  • Secondary mutations
  • The most strapless bra of all time
  • The Black Bug Room
  • Summers problems
  • Official X-Men and the designation thereof
  • Wonder Man and mutants

NEXT EPISODE: Beast has a bad day

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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518 – Mapping the X-Gene

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In which Dr. Jey McCreight joins us to discuss all things X-Genetics!

X-PLAINED:

  • The genetics and taxonomy of Marvel’s merry mutants

NEXT EPISODE: The Morrison run begins!

Follow Dr. Jey on Bluesky, and check out Beyond X and Y!

Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!

 

517 – Sliding Scale Ransom

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In which we totally forgot to record a cold open (sorry); a lot of characters die (but not in Earth-616); Vampires may already be in command of America’s atomic arsenal; and we revisit a favorite.

X-PLAINED:

  • What If vol. 2 #9
  • What If vol. 2 #24
  • What If: Magik #1
  • Rahne Sinclair (moppet stage)
  • The deaths of the Silver Age and All-New-All-Different X-Men
  • Fancy television
  • Sliding-scale ransom
  • Then Ani-Men, somewhat
  • The Living LASER, somewhat
  • An orgy of satiation
  • Wolverine, Lord of the Vampires
  • Several highlights of Tarot: Witch of the Black Rose
  • Vampire nonsense
  • The Darkhold
  • The Montessi Formula
  • Some alligators
  • August 5
  • Frank Punisher, Vampire Hunter
  • What If vol. 2 #37 (briefly)
  • A kinder alternate history
  • A singularly beautiful montage
  • The Soul Staff
  • Summers family connections
  • How Wolverine climbs

NEXT EPISODE: Unspooling the X-Gene, with Dr. Jey McCreight!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!