Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

208 – The X-Patriots

 

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which nobody wears the pants in the X-Plain family; Havok is a remarkably okay boss; Polaris may want to find a new doctor; Quicksilver has no time for your nonsense; we are very conditionally okay with resurrections; and if you spoil Season 5 of Steven Universe for Miles, we will never ever ever forgive you.

X-PLAINED:

  • Jay & Miles at FlameCon
  • Advantages of recording remotely
  • X-Factor #81-83
  • What Genosha’s been up to
  • Prodigal
  • An impassioned speech
  • An unfortunate accident
  • Yet another return(ish) of Sauron
  • Chain of command
  • Lukas
  • Pirouette
  • Yet another justification for the name of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants
  • Phantazia (again)
  • Immovable vs. unstoppable
  • What you do on a boat
  • Taylor
  • When Havok still cared
  • “The Mutant Rap”
  • Adventures in New York
  • How to bond with Quicksilver
  • An angry mob
  • A derailed storyline
  • The ignominious death of Rick Chalker
  • Our opinions on the revolving door of death
  • X-Men vs. electronics
  • Superheroes from the Balkans
  • Theoretical X-Men and Steven Universe team-ups

NEXT EPISODE: X-Editor Jordan D. White!


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207 – Blood and Metal

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Miles has a Dracula problem; we are really, really excited about FlameCon; Fabian Nicieza is the unsung hero of the early ’90s; Jay doesn’t explain the Iranian Hostage Crisis; Cable does not have a good history with trademark disputes; Cable: Blood and Metal is secretly an allegory for the X-books of the early 1990s; friendship and explosions don’t have to be mutually exclusive; and history evokes but doesn’t quite repeat itself.

X-PLAINED:

  • Dracula disambiguation
  • One way to stop a vampire invasion
  • Wang beams
  • Cable: Blood and Metal #1-2
  • The continuing miracle that is Fabian Nicieza
  • Cable (as established in 1992)
  • Stryfe
  • The Wild Pack and/or Six Pack
  • The ongoing evolution of John Romita, Jr.
  • Tolliver
  • Several heists of varying quality
  • Numerous patches and their contents
  • How the Wild Pack became the Six Pack
  • An idiom, examined
  • A total dick move
  • Muscles-and-guns power creep
  • Guns of tomorrow
  • The McNinja point
  • A brief flirtation with Magic: The Gathering
  • A typo that became canon
  • The new She-Ra
  • The new, improved Garrison Kane
  • European nipple lasers
  • Mr. Richter
  • The evolution of Cable

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor gets political.


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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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206 – Anatomy of a Phoenix

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which you should all come see us at FlameCon; all lizards are good lizards; we recap a recap; the Phoenix force is really complicated; Earth-99476 may or may not be the secret history of Earth-616; Alan Davis takes on continuity; the X-Men fail to save the day; the Phoenix says its piece; Rachel takes a vacation in space; Captain Britain doesn’t like to be psychoanalyzed; and the Crazy Gang gets a happy ending.

X-PLAINED:

  • Evil Shadowcats
  • Jay & Miles at FlameCon
  • Excalibur #51, 52, and 54
  • A brief history of Excalibur
  • The Phoenix Force
  • A recap of a recap
  • What this episode isn’t covering
  • Lizard Excalibur
  • The most meta t-shirt in the multiverse
  • Several long-ago Halloween costumes
  • Dinosaurs of Earths-616 and -99476
  • National Lampoon Vacation apocrypha
  • Earth-99476 and its Savage Land
  • The Fantastic Five
  • A vow of vengeance
  • Feron as an antecedent to Kubark
  • Alan Davis’s modern authorial counterpart
  • A telepathic journey
  • The full history of the Phoenix Force (as established circa 1991)
  • Inherited vs. inherent mutant powers (and a No-Prize explanation thereof)
  • The rehabilitation of Rachel Summers
  • Several retcons yet to come
  • Jean Grey’s inconsistent relationship to the Phoenix Force
  • A mysterious disappearance
  • What the Crazy Gang has been up to
  • The nicest kind of twist
  • A very easy way to make Kitty Pryde textually queer
  • Differentiating X-teams
  • The X-Plain Discord
  • Strong Guy’s new hobby

NEXT EPISODE: Cable: Blood & Metal


UPDATE: Not only can birds see color, but they can see a wider spectrum than humans. THE MORE YOU KNOW!


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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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205 – Back to Basics

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Jay returns from Latveria; Sabretooth is significantly less menacing in French; Fabian Nicieza takes the reins; X-Force wins our hearts and minds; Gideon plunders Flash Gordon’s wardrobe; Crule does not actually rule; Rictor was right; Ship is the friend who helps you move, but better; the X-Force kids strike out on their own; and it’s probably impossible to explain Joseph too much.

X-PLAINED:

  • The secret origin of Gideon
  • How to get deported from Latveria
  • Marvel en français
  • X-Force #11-15
  • Some gratuitous posturing
  • Pico
  • What the actual Domino has been up to
  • One hell of an outfit
  • Peacock powers
  • Crule
  • A comical mix-up
  • A somewhat radical cosmology
  • A very dramatic strike force
  • Tygerstryke
  • X-Force post-Liefeld
  • Weapon P.R.I.M.E.
  • A four-page spread
  • A fight for one is a fight for all
  • Vance Astro
  • The death of Copycat
  • Things only Cable and Domino could do
  • Joseph (more) (again)
  • Marvel style and its evolution

NEXT EPISODE: Fire, life, and backstory!


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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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204 – Naughty By Nurture

In which Jay runs away to Latveria (but Hub is here to save the day!); you shouldn’t eat the brown promethium; Magneto and Cap fight over the world’s tiniest man; Rom is somewhat set in his ways; all anyone in the 616 really wants out of a disguise is plausible deniability; and Hub was inside your heart all along (and you might want to see a doctor about that).

X-PLAINED:

  • Several Limbos
  • Captain America Annual #4
  • Captain America vs. Magneto
  • The return of the theoretical Magnetostache
  • The Great Mutant Massacre (but not that one)
  • Drunk-at-a-wedding Magneto
  • Mister One
  • Mister Two
  • Ghost Writer
  • Peeper
  • Lifter
  • Burner
  • Slither
  • Shocker
  • Skin suffocation
  • Rom #17-18
  • The Toy Collector
  • Dick Warlock, revisited, more, again
  • Bill Mantlo
  • Rom: Spaceknight
  • Dire Wraiths
  • The secret lives of inanimate objects
  • Brandy Clark and Steve Jackson
  • Jacob the Dire Wraith and His No-Good Son Jimmy
  • The smell of evil
  • Swiss army eyeballs
  • Sidekicks for the Transformers

NEXT EPISODE: The Return of Rictor!


Special thanks to Emergency Back-Up Cohost Hub of Titan Up the Defense!


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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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203 – The X-Man’s Burden

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which the Morlocks used to have more agency, we have a surprising amount to say about the Rat King from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Archangel receives some exceptionally disturbing news, and 90s comics are all about finding the parts you love.

X-PLAINED:

  • Marrow’s internal organs
  • The post-Image Exodus era
  • Judging books by their covers
  • Uncanny X-Men #291-293
  • Sexy dead girls (again)
  • The Morlock leadership vacuum
  • A significant Callisto personality retcon
  • Failures of leadership due to own-death-faking
  • The magical life and magical death of the Morlock Sewer Wizard
  • Science Made Stupid
  • Storm’s claustrophobia (again)
  • MeMe, scourge of Miles’s childhood
  • 90s Jean Grey: cartoon vs comic
  • The Br’er Rabbit Technique
  • Some unfortunate and significant continuity errors
  • Professor Xavier’s impressive upper body strength
  • Mikhail Rasputin’s genuinely terrifying mutant powers
  • Bobby Drake’s potential
  • Morlock organizational techniques
  • Mikhail Rasputin’s very bad plan
  • Jean Grey’s real talk
  • The Home for Infinite Losers
  • Piotr Rasputin, tragedy collector
  • Copyright law and Fair Use
  • Queer headcanon
  • X-beards

NEXT EPISODE: Hub from Titan Up the Defense joins Miles to talk Bronze Age X-weirdness!


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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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202 – Rhapsody in Blue (and Gold)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which music is dangerous and confusing, Jamie Madrox has a weakness for femmes fatale, the term “f-holes” makes Miles turn 12, and we bid a fond farewell to Larry Stroman.

X-PLAINED:

  • That time Havok was the nexus of all realities
  • How to get to Florida, Magneto style
  • X-Factor #79-81
  • Lesser-used applications of super-speed
  • Rhapsody (Rachel Argosy)
  • Mutant late bloomers
  • The surprising convenience and safety of fictional shop windows
  • Excalibur-weird vs. X-Factor-weird
  • Tiny cellos
  • The worst kid in the neighborhood
  • A creative use of mutant powers
  • Whether Madrox creates duplicates during sex (again)
  • Astral wheat fields
  • Musical manslaughter
  • Sean Young (who is decidedly not Catwoman)
  • Hell’s Belles
  • Rahne’s World
  • Polaris’s body image issues
  • Beefiness disambiguation
  • Wolfsbane’s conditional poker face
  • Cyber (Silas Burr)
  • Strong Guy, who just works here, man
  • Alex Summers, inspiring and/or deceptive authority figure
  • Bringing back the classics (and when not to)
  • The surprisingly homogenous Multiverse

NEXT EPISODE: Mikhail Rasputin ruins everything.


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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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201 – Pump Up the Jam

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we begin our third podcast century; Cyclops is bi-inclusive; we have high standards for Mojoworld; Dazzler can survive your big-budget horror show; Jim Lee makes his exit; video games that involve Protomen are better than video games that don’t; and plasma is the new magnetism.

X-PLAINED:

  • Carter Ryking and his Very Durable Underpants
  • Fontanelle
  • Jay & Miles Town Cry ye X-Men
  • An upcoming event
  • X-Men #10-13
  • A somewhat disappointing Wizard of Oz pastiche
  • Those who like to go both ways
  • A mysterious, shadowy figure; revealed
  • Several of Cyclops’s uncoolest Dad moments
  • Zima
  • Moist Alley
  • Mojo II: The Sequel
  • The Image exodus
  • Mojonium™
  • An announcement
  • Longshot in the Mojoverse vs. Longshot in the 616
  • A Maverick adventure
  • Alexander Ryking
  • The other Xavier File
  • Warhawk
  • The Ryking Hospital for Paranormal Research
  • A poorly defined power set
  • Technicolor skeletons
  • When and where paper was invented
  • A likely-irrelevant pattern
  • The devil who haunts Stryfe’s dreams
  • Some non-X Marvel recommendations
  • Rusty Collins’s codename

NEXT EPISODE: A musical interlude with X-Factor!


Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

200 – Lightning in a Bottle, with Louise Simonson

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we celebrate a major milestone with the coolest person ever to work on the X-books and look back at the last four-plus years of the podcast; and nobody ends up on trial at the Hague.


NEXT WEEK: Jay & Miles take a much-needed vacation.

NEXT EPISODE: The X-Men take the fight to Mojoworld!


Check out our blog for links to the stuff we discussed in this episode!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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199 – Space, Geeks, and Gaveedra Seven

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Shattershot is definitely better than the Cold War; Beast X-plains the X-teams; Cyclops is a tired babysitter; sustenance is not frivolous; Jim Henson is the hero that Mojoworld needs; Shatterstar is not a great head of state; it’s hard to be Val Cooper; and Cable has definitely figured out how to take you (yes, YOU) out.

X-PLAINED:

  • Astra
  • Content-to-story ratio
  • The Mojoverse (more) (again)
  • Longshot
  • Shatterstar (Gaveedra Seven)
  • Spiral (Ricochet Rita)
  • Arize
  • X-Men Annual #1
  • Uncanny X-Men Annual #16
  • X-Factor Annual #10
  • X-Force Annual #1
  • A pivotal battle
  • Mujahideen
  • A callback
  • Several denizens of Mojoworld
  • X-Team disambiguation
  • The Death Sponsors
  • A dubious solution to the Kobayashi Maru scenario
  • Whether Arize is a mutant
  • Telepathic favoritism
  • Spiral’s origin story
  • A new regime
  • Earth-84309
  • Powerpax (Frankie Power)
  • Darkchild
  • Cyberlock
  • A metasingularity
  • A large number of back-up features
  • The X-Men’s top ten enemies
  • Amalgam (but not that one)
  • Darick Robertson’s juvenilia
  • The return of Taki
  • The Cable Protocols
  • Brazilian Marvel characters
  • Our feelings about Laura Kinney’s backstory

NEXT EPISODE: Louise Simonson


CORRECTION: BonziBuddy was not released until 1999. We regret the error.


Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)