Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Category: podcasts

198 – How to Destroy the Universe Without Really Trying

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Excalibur goes 16-bit platformer; Alysande gets new threads; Shadowcat should probably just change her code name to Ripley; Captain Britain may or may not destroy the universe; Doctor Doom tries his hand at human resources; Excalibur is at home with weirdness; and no lizard needs breasts.

X-PLAINED:

  • Invisible Boy
  • Human heralds of Galactus
  • Excalibur Special Editions
  • Excalibur: Air Apparent
  • Excalibur: XX Crossing
  • Dr. Jonothon Cayre
  • Norm the LMD
  • Lava pits of Scotland
  • Some dubious herpetology
  • Eric the Cyborg (Coldblood-7)
  • Robert Cop
  • Special Man
  • Air-Walker and/or Gabriel Lam
  • A cosmic explosion
  • Captain Britain’s extra costume
  • Sidestep
  • An exceptionally awkward job interview
  • A counterintuitive plan
  • The other time-displaced X-Men
  • The best version of Angel
  • Angel’s third-greatest nemesis
  • Gladiator Hank
  • A very fancy vest
  • The best Excalibur Special Edition
  • The Phalanx vs. the Technarchy
  • Warlock vs. gender
  • Our thoughts on Avengers: Infinity War

Note: according to the letter column from Excalibur #54, at least some of the art credits for Excalibur: XX Crossing were incorrect, so some of our descriptions of who drew what in this episode are wrong. See the comments below for more information!

NEXT EPISODE: Shattershot!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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197 – Wolverine and the Honker of Doom

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Wolverine is an eternal teenager; most of what Jay knows about Hawaii comes from Lilo and Stitch; Shiv is a complicated fellow; Nightcrawler represents an unattainable beauty standard; the Easter Bunny flies at dawn; Wolverine: The Jungle Adventure is delightful; Logan inadvertently starts a cult; Gahk does as she pleases; Jay and Miles are going to FlameCon; and we are all now Honkers forever.

X-PLAINED:

  • What Bloodscream and Roughouse have been up to
  • Albert and Elsie Dee
  • An unorthodox vocal warm-up
  • Wolverine: Bloody Choices
  • Wolverine: The Jungle Adventure
  • The Wolverine formula
  • Kamehameha Day (which Jay mispronounced; sorry!)
  • Mr. Bullfinch
  • Mr. Kapeland
  • Shiv
  • Doc Corbel
  • Nick Fury’s penmanship
  • How retail works
  • Secret agents, maybe
  • A stimulating combination
  • Karate pants
  • A darker, grittier version of the Easter bunny
  • Wolverine’s apocryphal childhood
  • Characters who can pull off the Wolverine hairstyle
  • Don Adams as Wolverine
  • Win/win murder scenarios
  • Two adult men discussing their feelings
  • Honkers
  • Cargo cults
  • The Tribe of Fire
  • Gahck
  • Some romance
  • A Spiny Honker
  • The Honker of Doom
  • Pit traps, with and without shallow holes
  • A dastardly but ineffectual plot
  • Apocalypse, kind of
  • One of Wolverine’s many kids (who may or may not be Erista)
  • Jay & Miles at FlameCon 2018
  • How to get us at your local convention
  • Reading comics with Miles’s dad
  • Seriously, though: honkers

NEXT EPISODE: Even more Excaliburs

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

195 – Johnny Got His Robot Arm

23 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Jay may have Stockholm syndrome; Nick Fury is objectively sillier than G. W. Bridge; we get a brief artistic reprieve; Cable’s legal expertise does not extend to trademarks; our favorite Ship returns; Miles’s grandmother calls it like it is; Sauron is bad at taxonomy; and Garrison Kane is basically a very violent Inspector Gadget.

X-PLAINED:

  • Brother Mutant
  • X-Force #8-10
  • X-Force (again)
  • A protracted flashback
  • The Wild and/or Six Pack
  • A heist
  • A trap
  • Yet more Ed Wood references
  • A future
  • The Professor (Ship)
  • Gratuitous face shadows
  • A mystery
  • Cable casting
  • Several misplaced word balloons
  • The logistics of tentacle arms
  • The High Lords (Externals)
  • Michael Bay’s Johnny Got His Gun
  • General Clark and his diving suit
  • Good Magneto stories
  • How to get your dad into X-Men

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur vs. the Anti-Phoenix!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

 

194 – Brood Trouble in the Big Easy

36 comments

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In which Ghost Rider has some fairly serious medical issues; you should probably never invite Bishop to a picnic; Gambit’s past catches up with him; it’s always Mardi Gras in Fictional New Orleans; Wolverine is thrilled; and Jay swears a solemn vow.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Tithe
  • The Momentary Princess
  • The T’ieves Guild
  • Why real New Orleans doesn’t have catacombs
  • X-Men #8-9
  • Ghost Rider #26-27
  • The abstract idea of Nicholas Cage
  • Genesis
  • The last of the X-Men
  • A sick burn
  • A picnic
  • Boundaries
  • Bella Donna Boudreaux and her many apostrophes
  • Ghost Rider
  • Psegway
  • Julian Boudreaux
  • How not to respond to a speeding ticket
  • The Bootie Man
  • Horse names vs. katana names
  • Cathartic excess
  • X-holidays
  • Doomsday
  • Good characters from awful events

NEXT EPISODE: The Externals, for our sins

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

193 – Sewers of Tomorrow

28 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which we pour one out for Malcolm and Randall; Cyclops is the worst at fun; Storm is better than you and always will be; Bishop forgets his first name; the X-Men can’t tie bow ties; Iceman’s dad is spectacularly awful; Mikhail Rasputin may have some lingering issues; and Doug Ramsey would probably have been pretty entertained by Hackers if he had survived long enough to see it.

X-PLAINED:

  • Whether Professor Xavier is dead
  • Marvel time vs. podcast time
  • Uncanny X-Men #287-290
  • The Wit and Wisdom of Henry McCoy
  • A dance of death and destruction
  • Styglut
  • Future flashbacks
  • Sewers of tomorrow
  • The Witness
  • “Fun”
  • Blood math
  • A mysterious letter
  • A terrible date
  • Several capes
  • The return of the cyburai
  • A theoretical Hackers crossover

NEXT EPISODE: Brood trouble in the Big Easy!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

192 – Meet the N-Men

19 comments

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Alan Davis’s Excalibur is a spiritual sibling to The Muppet Show; Captain Britain gets a Captain Britain lesson; Opal Luna Saturnyne has no time for your nonsense; Meggan and Rachel take a brief detour into a Hammer film; Earth-148 is extra heroic; no member of Excalibur will ever use a bathroom in peace; Cerise joins the team; Technet embraces the future; and the end of the world is nigh.

X-PLAINED:

  • Pixie’s powers and parentage
  • Several eccentricities of Jay’s apartment
  • Excalibur #45-47
  • Earth-148 (Ee’rath)
  • Comics pacing vs. podcast pacing
  • Technet (more) (again)
  • Amelia Witherspoon and several references related thereto
  • The N-Men
  • How to Captain Britain
  • The multiversal significance of the lighthouse
  • A portentous chess game
  • A particularly aggressive retcon
  • The return of the Neuri
  • The real Meggan
  • Necrom
  • A heroic death
  • The true curse of Excalibur
  • Some very specific citations
  • A reunion
  • Kylun (Colin McKay)
  • A blessed event
  • Cerise
  • Whether Rogue can control Cyclops’s powers
  • Laura Kinney’s upcoming reversion to X-23

NEXT EPISODE: Bishop joins the X-Men!

ENTIRELY IRRELEVANT UPDATE: The wall on which Jay was attempting to mount a desk turned out to be plaster over sheetrock. Office plans are being revised accordingly.

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

191 – Unconscionably Sexy (feat. Kelly Thompson)

15 comments

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In which writer Kelly Thompson joins us to talk Rogue and Gambit; Antarctica is Earth’s answer to the Blue Area of the Moon; Kelly unfreezes one of the great X-romances; Rogue has walked a mile in everyone’s shoes; you should probably not take romantic cues from fictional characters; Gambit should always wear hot pink; and continuity is fundamentally messy.

X-PLAINED:

  • What happened in Antarctica
  • The Trial of Gambit
  • Rogue and Gambit
  • Narrative tension vs. growth
  • Dueling accents
  • Kelly’s defining Rogue and Gambit stories
  • The cool-versus-creepy line
  • Making deep cuts accessible
  • The evolution of Rogue
  • The future of the X-line
  • Favorite costumes
  • Equal-opportunity objectification
  • Fundamental contradictions of continuity
  • Hawkeye team-ups
  • Date night with Rogue and Gambit
  • MTV’s Are You the One
  • RomCom hybrids

NEXT EPISODE: Meet the N-Men!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

190 – Local Yokels

28 comments

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In which the term “bloodlust” shows up a lot in popular culture; Wolverine pees between panels; Michael Higgins has a lot to answer for; Jay wants to fight a comic book; Nightcrawler’s limbs have never seemed more potent; Florida kids don’t understand basements; and Doug Ramsey didn’t die for this.

X-PLAINED

  • Chaos War
  • Destiny’s diaries
  • Wolverine: Bloodlust
  • Excalibur: The Possession
  • Bloodlust
  • Several approaches to sound effects
  • The greatest sound effect
  • Perfect binding
  • Several men who may or may not be Santa Claus
  • The Christmas spirit
  • Saskia
  • The Hair
  • Some varyingly graphic murders
  • The Alshra
  • The Neuri
  • Wendigo rules
  • Adamantium vs. healing factor
  • Where Wolverine pees
  • A statement of enmity
  • Potent limbs
  • Mr. Kaplan
  • Weird happenings
  • A man who is very obviously Merlin
  • Some pedagogy
  • An unfavorable Ed Wood comparison
  • The Changeling (again)
  • X-Force P.R.
  • Space bros

NEXT EPISODE: Romance and Banter with Kelly Thompson!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)

189 – How Do You Solve a Problem Like Nate Summers?

45 comments

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In which Jay’s mom broke the Internet; correct credits are important; everyone has a Danger Room; no one needs that many teeth; there are so many reasons to laugh at Stryfe; the Watcher is probably affiliated with Pepperidge Farm; Boom Boom is the Rogue of X-Force; and Cable’s pouches are definitely full of menstrual products.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Franklin Richards of Earth X
  • The One True Cable
  • X-Force #5-7
  • Pocket-Size Juggernaut
  • A novel approach to trauma surgery
  • A moment of intersectionality
  • Teeth of the early ’90s
  • Soft pink bags of rice-paper flesh
  • A villain speech
  • X-Force’s bathtub
  • Several Shel Silverstein poems that may or may not be about superheroes
  • Cooking with Boom Boom
  • Why the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants keeps the “Evil” in their name
  • Thornn (Lucia Callasantos)
  • Phantazia
  • Writers vs. Scripters
  • Sex Ed at the Xavier School
  • The Worst Twitter Thread

NEXT EPISODE: BLOODLUST! (But not inquiry.)

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

We’re in the process of migrating our official shop to TeePublic! Click over to check it out! (You can still find the designs we haven’t moved yet at Redbubble.)