Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 343 – The Water Cooler of Violence

August 15, 2021 Jay 5 comments

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

LIES ALL LIES (X-Force #55)

(Probably not a LMD. This time.) (X-Force #55)

I’m not sure sound works like that, but it’s still cool. (X-Force #55)

And now you know how animated Wolverine feels. (X-Force #55)

Well, that’s one way to open a giant door. (X-Force #55)

Seriously, why is he in his underwear? (X-Force #55)

It’s really not any harder to believe than anything else in this comic. (X-Force #55)

Sacrelicious! (X-Force #56)

The Benjamin Russell storyline really doesn’t make any sense when you break it down… (X-Force #56)

I have nightmares like this. (X-Force #56)

IT WAS GAMESMASTER ALL ALONG SURE WHY NOT (X-Force #56)

We kinda forgot to cover this first time ’round. (X-Men Unlimited #8)

Puberty’s rough, buddy. (X-Men Unlimited #8)

“There’s a new mutant about to manifest! Let’s have the MOST UNSETTLING X-Man go follow him around!” (X-Men Unlimited #8)

Seriously, there is NO evidence at this point that it’s the word “mutant” that sends the kid running and not, say, the lightning. (X-Men Unlimited #8)

This is the part where it starts to feel like one of those books you could get in the ’80s with your kid’s name as the protagonist. (X-Men Unlimited #8)

See what I mean? (X-Men Unlimited #8)

“They usually bring you back in a dozen or so issues. Why?” (X-Men Unlimited #8)

And they all lived happily ever after.* *Joined the Thunderbolts, became Maverick, maybe blew up? (X-Men Unlimited #8)

NEXT EPISODE: Where no mutant has gone before!

LINKS & FURTHER CATASTROPHES:

For the backstory on the Weisman Institute, listen to Episode 304 – Explosive Ops.
Please enjoy the genius that is Hans Jensen.

343 – The Water Cooler of Violence

August 15, 2021 Jay 13 comments

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In which X-Force carries on the New Mutants’ tradition of property damage; a lot of people have infiltrated Helicarriers; G.W. Bridge makes it weird; Gamesmaster returns to no particular end; and we go back in time to cover the origins of Chris Bradley.

X-PLAINED:

The deaths of several Worthingtons
X-Force #55-56
X-Men Unlimited #8
A legacy of explosions
Uncanny X-Men #333 (briefly) (again)
A heist
Several of the many characters who had successfully infiltrated Helicarriers as of 1996
Dum Dum Dugan
Contessa Valentina Allegra de Fontaine
The glory days off LASER tag
Church fights
Subtext
The Weisman Institute for the Criminally Insane (more) (again)
How to pronounce “Risque”
Chris Bradley
Hans Jensen
Nostalgia goggles and their absence
Civilian awareness of cosmic Marvel
Asgard, Oklahoma
Annalee

NEXT WEEK: Hawk Talk

NEXT EPISODE: Where No Mutant Has Gone Before

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 342 – Angry Birds

August 15, 2021 Jay Leave a comment

Listen to the episode here.

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Yes, it’s as dramatic as it looks. (Archangel #1)

…Kay. (Archangel #1)

Please enjoy the most Nic Cage Archangel you will ever see. (Archangel #1)

THIS guy. (Uncanny X-Men #333)

HOW DOES SHE STILL NOT MANAGE TO ASSOCIATE HIM WITH MAGNETO? (X-Men #53)

Oh, Juggernaut, no. (X-Men #53)

Revenge of X-Men #3. (X-Men #53)

342 – Angry Birds

August 8, 2021 Miles 14 comments

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In which Miles does his best, birds are weird, some of the most dangerous villains are pink, and we are in the Onslaught Zone.

X-PLAINED:

- - Malibu Comics and Marvel Comics, sitting in a (multiversal) tree, KILLING
  - Archangel: Phantom Wings
  - Unorthodox artistic decisions
  - Archangel (Warren Kenneth Worthington III)
  - Angst, renewed
  - Bird ichor
  - Tuesday Bird and her Mad Max outfit
  - How (not?) to flirt
  - Uncanny X-Men #333
  - Various Roberts Kelly
  - Graydon Creed, doin’ Mom proud
  - Bastion, Nimrod, & Master Mold
  - Operation Zero Tolerance
  - X-Teams and their lanes
  - A naked murder-uncle
  - Pink villains
  - Obscure callbacks
  - Event synergy
  - X-Men #53
  - Day to-day challenges of telepathy
  - Super-Saiyan Magneto
  - Phoenix (Jean Grey), actual adult
  - Onslaught
  - That scene from 1964’s X-Men #3
  - A surprisingly insightful look at Professor X’s dark side
  - Logan’s assorted friendships with teen girls
  - XMEN Disease

NEXT EPISODE: X-Force gets, predictably, x-treme.

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 341 – Rainbow Connection

August 6, 2021 Jay One comment

Listen to the podcast here!

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Low-key obsessed with what the hell sound this baby is supposed to be making. (Generation X #15)

When your kid goes away to school and comes back… different. (Generation X #15)

These fucking guys. (Generation X #15)

I am happy and surprised to announce that Giovanni survives the story pretty much unscathed! (Generation X #15)

I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY HER BONES ARE VISIBLE THOUGH (Generation X #16)

Hi, Stan. (Generation X #17)

Oh, THAT guy. (Generation X #17)

Nobody draws rubble like Bachalo. (Generation X #17)

The genre-requisite hall of mirrors. (Generation X #17)

He somehow makes the X-Cutioner look… cool? (Generation X #17)

NEXT EPISODE: Rich-people problems.

341 – Rainbow Connection

August 1, 2021 Jay 7 comments

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In which Chris Bachalo returns to Generation X; we briefly forget that Mondo exists; Synch is an extraordinarily good kid; not everybody gets a jetpack; Jubilee takes a turn as team strategist; Chamber has Onslaught problems; the X-Cutioner has no discernible dignity; the M does not stand for “metaphorical.”

X-PLAINED:

Jubilee’s aunt Hope
Generation X #15-17
Generation X (more) (again)
Emplates (more) (again)
An instance of possession
The Thomas family
Intersectional bias
Passing privilege
Narratively-determined technology
Giovanni the janitor
Synch vs. Mimic
An exceptionally slow-burn reveal
Possession as a vehicle for character development
The X-Cutioner (Carl Denti) (more) (again)
Metaphorical DNA
Fun times at the fair
Ruby quartz adaptive technology
Mutant names

NEXT EPISODE: Fun with flechettes!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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HAWK TALK – What We Blew Up On Our Summer Vacation

July 25, 2021 Miles 5 comments

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This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, Miles and guest hawk Anna Sheffey talked about playing too much Resident Evil during lockdown.

As Mentioned in Episode 340 – Retconaganda

July 18, 2021 Jay Leave a comment

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(Press the “i” icon in the bottom-right to see captions in the gallery. It’s a known WordPress bug we’re still looking for a way around!)

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

Welcome to the X.S.E., where moral ambiguity goes to die. (X.S.E. #1)

The villains in this series are exceptionally one-note even by comics standards. (X.S.E. #1)

I still can’t figure out what’s happening with the purple garment that Bishop and possibly also his grandmother are wearing. (X.S.E. #1)

Bishop has basically always been the same dude. (X.S.E. #1)

Hey, it’s Malcolm… (X.S.E. #2)

…and Randall! (X.S.E. #2)

I know the balloon at the top technically goes with the panel above, but it really looks like Fitzroy is just reciting his own name like a Pokémon. (X.S.E. #3)

De Witness. (X.S.E. #4)

Shackle’s costume is somewhat improbable. (X.S.E. #4)

340 – Retconaganda

July 18, 2021 Jay 11 comments

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In which the X.S.E. miniseries is future copaganda; Earth-1191 has no room for moral ambiguity; Bishop pulls a Marty McFly; Malcolm and Randall get distinct personalities; and you really shouldn’t give officers a symbol of authority that there’s no way to revoke.

X-PLAINED:

Some of Bishop’s further adventures
X.S.E. #1-4
The future, sort of
Earth-1191 (more) (again)
The X.S.E. (more) (again)
Lucas Bishop (more) (again)
Shard Bishop (more) (again)
Grandmother (who may or may not be Storm)
Hancock (who may or may not be Cyclops)
The deeply baffling Bishop family tree
The fallability of childhood memory
Exhumes
Dubious reclamation
Heca’te
The Witness (more) (again)
Trevor Fitzroy (more) (again)
Several potential continuity errors
Malcolm and Randall (more) (again)
Emplates
Shirley
Mexican-American mutants
A cross-media quote

NEXT EPISODE: The return of Carl the X-Cutioner

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Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!