Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

As Mentioned in Episode 329 – Scheming and Argument

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Same cover, different week. (Excalibur #94)
Rahne “Aleph from Global Frequency” Sinclair. (Excalibur #94)
Sorry. I just can’t accept this as Tangerine. (Excalibur #94)
He could totally have rocked the swim cap, though. (Excalibur #94)
Ew, they’re all goopy. (Excalibur #94)
Well, damn. (Excalibur #94)
We call that a “Muir Hello.” (X-Man #12)
It also goes PING! (X-Man #12)
Okay: That is legitimately cool. (X-Man #12)
The actual tagline of Squeezits(TM) was “Squeeze the fun out of it.” I swear to g-d I’m not making this up. (X-Man #12)
Look at those mid ’90s computer graphics! (Excalibur #95)
Moira doesn’t give a fuck if she’s not your real mom; she’s grounding you anyway. (Excalibur #95)
Oh, Rory. Buddy. (Excalibur #95)
This is also roughly how it feels to read like 20 years of X-Men in a sitting. (Excalibur #95)
What Excalibur’s thinking about. (Excalibur #95)
NEXT EPISODE: The herald of Onslaught; but also this fashion situation.

329 – Scheming and Argument

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Nate Grey has the soul of a man in a mesh shirt; Black Air is somehow even worse than you thought it was; Hulk does not want to be x-treme teen from alternate dimension; we are excited as hell for the upcoming Frasier/Ewing Gamma Flight; and Moira MacTaggert is (sometimes) the adult we need.

X-PLAINED:

  • Nate Grey’s (possible) demon zombie baby
  • What Excalibur’s been up to lately
  • Excalibur #94-95
  • X-Man #12
  • Yet another take on roughly the same dark future
  • Dark-future disambiguation
  • Bangs
  • The Black Wall
  • Leather vs. vinyl
  • Sentinels pooping sentinels
  • Nate Grey (more) (again)
  • Gamma Flight
  • Excessively silly diagnostic technology
  • Squeezits(TM)
  • A minor intervention
  • X-characters most likely to lead a successful book club
  • Warlock on Krakoa

NEXT EPISODE: The Herald of Onslaught (for real, this time, we promise)!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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HAWK TALK – Doctor Internet

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This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about the Internet.

Topics, roughly:

  • Blazing fast 28.8 Kbps dial-up
  • AOL CDs
  • Final Fantasy, MIDI-style
  • Angelfire vs. Carrd
  • The Gaming Intelligence Agency
  • The Brunching Shuttlecocks
  • The finest memes of the early 2000s
  • Chaos
  • Social media, as explained by Jay
  • Social media, as baffles Miles
  • Podcasts vs. the Internet

As Mentioned in Episode 328 – Single Blue Male

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
It’s not baseball, but it’ll do! (X-Men #48)
It’s rough to be Bishop. (X-Men #48)
The extra arms make it extra funny. (X-Men #48)
*Rimshot* (X-Men #48)
Dark Beast X-Plains Bishop. (X-Men #48)
Bishop, that’s flirting. (X-Men #49)
“Bishop with Kittens” should be a thing. (X-Men #49)
This one’s for Douglas Wolk. (X-Men #49)
Never trust anybody. (X-Men #49)
Except by the time it happens, they look way more alike. (X-Men Unlimited #10)
Hank McCoy was an objectively kind of terrible child. (X-Men Unlimited #10)
This would be so fun to climb around! (X-Men Unlimited #10)
Hank, buddy, no. (X-Men Unlimited #10)
Honestly, I’d prefer a toaster. (X-Men Unlimited #10)
What the HELL, dude? (X-Men Unlimited #10)
Time to face the… nope. I’m not gonna do it. (X-Men Unlimited #10)
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MCCOY! (X-Men Unlimited #10)
NEXT EPISODE: X-Man vs. Excalibur!

328 – Single Blue Male

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Sam Guthrie will take all your money; Gambit has exceptionally poor judgment; having friends who are couples means getting to be the big spoon AND the little spoon; Hank McCoy is the agrarian Rube Goldberg; and there are a lot of ways to appreciate a comic.

X-PLAINED:

  • Several colors of Beast
  • X-Men #48-49
  • X-Men Unlimited #10
  • The Floating Super Hero Poker Game
  • Large hands
  • Various refugees from the Age of Apocalypse
  • Surge(TM)
  • Pam Greenwood (Fatale)
  • Many gratuitous murders
  • Iconic runs we’re not into
  • Generations of teen X-Men

NEXT WEEK: Hawk talk!

NEXT EPISODE: Nate Grey vs. Excalibur!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 326 – The Sounds of Gravity

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
“My son murdered me and all I got was this cool scar.” (X-Force #49)
Alas, poor Stansfield. (X-Force #49)
I think we’ve all been on that visit home. (X-Force #49)
Aw, this guy. I’ve missed him. (X-Force #49)
Look at all that cover! (X-Force #50)
Go, team! (X-Force #50)
Correction: not actually a two-page spread. (X-Force #50)
Sure, why not? (X-Force #50)
“Remember when we read all those comics?” (X-Force #50)
That is an unsettlingly good home haircut. (X-Force #51)
NO. (X-Force #51)
One for the reaction files. (X-Force #51)
NEXT EPISODE: A tale of two Beasts!

327 – The Sounds of Gravity

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which nobody’s ages ever make sense; Sebastian Shaw catches up on villain speeches; nobody puts Louise Simonson in a corner; Tabitha Smith has a bad day; Gambit and Bat Manuel have a lot in common; and Warpath outruns Adam X.

X-PLAINED:

  • X-Force #49-51
  • Haircuts
  • The return off Sebastian Shaw
  • Stansfield
  • A series of kidnappings
  • Solar-powered superpowers
  • Attempted murder
  • Memories
  • Cable as an audience surrogate
  • Tabitha’s new codename
  • The first Tick live-action series
  • Warpath’s running speed
  • Risqué
  • What gravity sounds like
  • X-leisure activities
  • Magneto’s human name/s

NEXT EPISODE: A Tale of Two Beasts

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

As Mentioned in Episode 326 – Son of a Gun

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
Fun times with holograms! (X-Factor #119)
Oh, THAT guy. (X-Factor #119)
If I had a dollar for every date that ended this way… (X-Factor #119)
Sir, your gun appears to be several cardboard boxes. (X-Factor #120)
Well, that’s going to be a problem. (X-Factor #120)
Okay, but seriously, why is Roma in this, again>? (X-Factor #121)
OH SNAP (X-Factor #121)

326 – Son of a Gun

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which it’s hard to be a hologram; the Internet is terrible and you should probably avoid it; we have no idea how Naze is still alive; this is not your mom’s Adversary (if your mom is Fall of the Mutants); Forge is an order muppet; and Sabretooth is not a great addition to most teams.

X-PLAINED:

  • Skrulls in American history
  • X-Factor’s attrition rate
  • The spirit spell (again)
  • The Adversary (again)
  • X-Factor #119-121
  • Hypercolor(TM) t-shirts
  • Oblivion vs. masturbation
  • Mark Trail (more) (again)
  • Forge’s complicated relationship with magic
  • The death of X-Factor
  • Several retcons
  • The resurrection of X-Factor
  • (Mis)representation of indigenous cultures in X-books
  • Jim Jaspers vs. the Adversary
  • The spirit spell (YET AGAIN)
  • The Feron of X-Factor
  • Val ‘n’ Victor
  • Dubious use of technology
  • A red herring
  • The lingering spectre of Days of Future Past
  • Our tech issues
  • Reasonable accommodations at the Xavier School

NEXT EPISODE: Cable vs. X-Force

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

HAWK TALK – Turtle Power

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This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Topics, roughly:

  • Daredevil parodies
  • The nature of mutation
  • The four humors
  • Archetypes of masculinity
  • Legal status of mutant animal people
  • Questionable toys
  • Adaptations and adaptations of adaptations
  • Miles’s favorite Mirage comic story
  • The excellently weird Archie comic series
  • Girl turtles and naming conventions
  • Movies good and bad
  • Milesangelo