Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

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As Mentioned in Episode 407 – Freshening Up

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(He is not in fact here to help.) (X-Factor #138)
Heh. Omega Red, man. (X-Factor #138)
The most threatening destroyed football you’ll see today. (X-Factor #138)
THAT IS AN EXCELLENT QUESTION. (X-Factor #138)
(Spoiler: That’s Mystique.) (X-Factor #138)
A delightful cover. (X-Factor #139)
This whole sequence is so good. (X-Factor #139)
Ever is weird, and I say that with all respect and admiration! (X-Factor #139)
Dark Beast DEFINITELY has multiple candy-colored iMacs. (X-Factor #139)
Mystique: once again mother of the year. (X-Factor #139)
The preceding page literally had a Slaughterhouse Five reference, and I’m kind of annoyed about it. (X-Factor #140)
Fixx, Greystone, and Archer. (X-Factor #140)
A guy who is probably not Cable. (He’s not; he’s an alternate-future Forge.) (X-Factor #140)
Batman. (X-Factor #140)
There are actually *multiple* people huffing frogs, if you look closely. (X-Factor #141)
SERIOUSLY WHY WOULD YOU EVER TRUST THIS MAN (X-Factor #141)
THE PLOT THICKENS (X-Factor #141)
NEXT EPISODE: Bishop: X.S.E.!

LINKS & FURTHER TIME SINKS

407 – Freshening Up

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In which X-Factor bounces from one rock-bottom to another; Sabretooth gets his (murderous) groove back; Dark Beast embraces the iMac aesthetic; the tip was righteous; Mystique multitasks like a pro; and Shard Bishop has come unstuck in time.

X-PLAINED:

  • X-Nation
  • What X-Factor’s been up to
  • X-Factor #138-141
  • Omega Red (again)
  • The Brotherhood’s new hideout
  • Mallory Brickman
  • Miles and/or Ralph Brickman
  • Gloria Brickman
  • “Freshening up”
  • Mystique, but a sitcom
  • Agent Vargas
  • Ever
  • The secret purpose of Havok’s Brotherhood
  • Exhumes vs. emplates
  • Fixx
  • Greystone
  • Archer
  • The X.U.E.
  • Bantam
  • Leisure activities
  • What would happen if the T-O virus took over Cable’s body
  • What we want from X-Men #700

NEXT EPISODE: Bishop: X.S.E.

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As Mentioned in Episode 406 – The Most Dangerous Mini-Game

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So, that’s where he got it! (Wolverine #-1)
I love this design for Sabretooth. (Wolverine #-1)
And also his car. (Wolverine #-1)
Literally nothing is okay at the Blanding/Masters house. (X-Factor #-1)
Mister Sinister lurks in the bushes. (X-Factor #-1)
They’re AT LEAST in their early 20s. (X-Factor #-1)
DAMN, Haley! (X-Factor #-1)
The most dangerous mini-game. (X-Factor #-1)
Alex Summers in a nutshell. (X-Factor #-1)
Wellp, you did that. (X-Force #-1)
I swear I thought this thing was gonna be a red herring. (X-Force #-1)
Everything cute about this issue is also really sad. (X-Force #-1)
How Thunderbird got his code name. (X-Force #-1)
Don’t worry, Tabby; soon you’ll be stealing with the best of ’em! (X-Force #-1)
The Circus of Cameos. (X-Force #-1)
In which John Produstar straight-up wrassles a tiger. (X-Force #-1)
“We also do a lot of crimes, but they’re pretty low-key as comic-book circus crimes go.” (X-Force #-1)
Ugh, this guy. (X-Force #-1)
Naked in Space: The Charles Francis Xavier Story. (X-Men #-1)
Magneto, a sensible fellow, wears clothes in the vacuum of space. (X-Men #-1)
IT NEVER STOPS BEING FUNNY (X-Men #-1)
DRAMATIC! JUXTAPOSITION! (X-Men #-1)
NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor hits rock-bottom, again.

LINKS & FURTHER READING

406 – The Most Dangerous Mini-Game

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In which we disagree about the value of Stan Lee intros; everybody wants Wolverine; Mister Sinister lurks; Haley Blanding deserves better; Thunderbird fights a tiger; and Xavier and Magneto do their usual thing.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Circus of Crime
  • Stan Lee intros
  • Wolverine #-1
  • X-Factor #-1
  • X-Force #-1
  • X-Men #-1
  • Proust vs. Sartre
  • How Logan joined Alpha Flight
  • The secret origin of the word “canucklehead.”
  • USDA, Annex B
  • Myron MacLain
  • Logan’s cigars
  • Yet more continuity errors
  • Sabretooth’s ridiculous car
  • The balance of scary and silly
  • Wolverine’s cowboy hat
  • Summers family bullshit
  • The Blandings and/or Masterses
  • Vince
  • The Proudstar family
  • One or more cats named Coyote
  • The origin of Thunderbird’s totem
  • Edwin Martynec (again)
  • Chondu the Magician
  • Ringmaster
  • Yet more Xavier and Magneto flashback drama
  • The bottom of the resurrection queue
  • Good car-trip episodes

NEXT EPISODE: X-Factor continues to make poor decisions

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 398 – Shanna the Wee Devil

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
We would never, Maggott. (Uncanny X-Men #347)
Grovel, allergic to sticks. (Uncanny X-Men #347)
Spat: just your average reverse-aging cavegirl bounty hunter. (Uncanny X-Men #347)
Weirder or less weird than the time the Morlocks healed Professor X and then dressed him in bondage gear? (Uncanny X-Men #347)
Big Mother Truckers no more. (Uncanny X-Men #347)
Alas, poor Landscape! I barely knew him, Joseph: a fellow of infinite power, of most excellent colors. (Uncanny X-Men #347)
Nanny’s great and all, but LOOK AT THAT BAT! (Uncanny X-Men #347)
I wish we got to see more of that robo-dragon in the back. (Uncanny X-Men #348)
Thankfully, Bishop is no stranger to being impaled by pipes. (Uncanny X-Men #348)
SabreRogue. (Uncanny X-Men #348)
This is pretty unambiguous, right? (Uncanny X-Men #348)
Chris Bachalo’s back! (Uncanny X-Men #349)
Beast, Beast, Beast of the Jungle, strong as he can be! (Uncanny X-Men #349)
Whoa, that volcano base got a lot more complicated when we switched artists. (Uncanny X-Men #349)
Even Maggott’s hair gets more impressive when he goes into battle-mode! (Uncanny X-Men #349)
Bachalo draws chaos well. (Uncanny X-Men #349)
“Excess”? What do you mean by that word? (Uncanny X-Men #349)
All together now: “DAMMIT REMY!” (Uncanny X-Men #349)
NEXT EPISODE: X-Force hits the road!

398 – Shanna the Wee Devil

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
In which the rest of the X-Men return from space; Maggott is the new cool; Gambit’s past catches up with him; Chris Bachalo takes over as regular artist on Uncanny X-Men; Deathbird flirts singularly aggressively; Eany and Meany eat a truck; dating a telepathic ninja is going to take some getting used to; and Havok predictably remains ABD.
X-PLAINED
  • Motormouth (Harley Davis)
  • Motormouth and Killpower
  • Uncanny X-Men #347-349
  • Grovel and Spat
  • A horse guy who is actually a cat-frog-lizard guy
  • An extraordinarily half-assed action figure
  • Load-bearing backstory
  • Landscape
  • The other Nanny
  • Elegant foreshadowing
  • Beast’s appearance as a mutant power
  • Gambit’s chest hair
  • The end of playtime
  • CCA-compliant foliage
  • Deathbird and Bishop
  • A vanity plate
  • Eany and Meany
  • One-off psychometry
  • Psylocke vs. Maggott
  • Decompression
  • Havok’s enduring lack of a Ph.D.
NEXT EPISODE: X-Force hits the road!
NOTE: In this episode, Miles theorized Grovel’s voice as sounding halfway between Cable and Kermit the Frog without realizing that he was in fact just describing Sweetums. -Jay

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As Mentioned in Episode 386 – No Puppy for Storm

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
In which Sam Guthrie has an Experience. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1997)
D’Gard is a snappy dresser. (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1997)
Brotherhood! (Uncanny X-Men Annual 1997)
This is the most menacing Maggott will ever be, ever. (Uncanny X-Men #345)
Who is this metal dude? It remains a mystery to this day. (Uncanny X-Men #345)
Remember when Maggott was Australian? (Uncanny X-Men #345)
Gambit, penitent. (Uncanny X-Men #345)
Thirst-trap Bishop. (Uncanny X-Men #345)
Thirst-trap Deathbird. (Uncanny X-Men #345)
NEXT EPISODE: Party on Mount Wundagore!

386 – No Puppies for Storm

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which treading water isn’t always a bad thing; Storm remains an irresponsible leader; nobody should ever trust Dark Beast; we are befuddled by a large metal man; Maggott makes his debut; and we ship the heck out of Deathbird and Bishop.

X-PLAINED:

  • The time Captain America dated a supervillain
  • Treading water
  • Gene Nation (again)
  • Uncanny X-Men Annual 1997
  • Uncanny X-Men #345
  • Razors
  • Humanity’s Last Stand
  • Surprise
  • Boost and Tether
  • D’gard
  • A Star Trek allusion
  • The Morlock retcon
  • Maggott (Japheth)
  • A large metal individual
  • Foreshadowing
  • A large, inconvenient spaceship
  • Magneto’s relationship to Judaism
  • Recovery from the Legacy Virus

NEXT EPISODE: Field Trip to Mount Wundagore!

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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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As Mentioned in Episode 370 – The Sound of Evil

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!
So sad… but so colorful! (Uncanny X-Men #46)
(M – Jean’s yellow plaid garment is what we fashionistas call a “coat.” -J)
There’s a reason the Juggernaut’s armor makes him look kinda like a mushroom. (Uncanny X-Men #46)
Angel’s normally better than his teammates at dodging, but he’s weighed down by his fashion choices. Well, Jean’s, I guess. She made his costume. Possibly out of spite. (Uncanny X-Men #46)
JEAN GREY YOU ARE BETTER THAN THIS (Uncanny X-Men #46)
That’s more like it! (Continuity aside.) (Uncanny X-Men #46)
Cheer up, kids. You’ll be back together in just a few issues. (Uncanny X-Men #46)
This is pretty much how Drag Race works, right? (Uncanny X-Men #52)
Shortest cold open ever. (Uncanny X-Men #52)
“Scott, you wore that out? I just made that for you for Bedroom Time! (Uncanny X-Men #52)
I appreciate how very 60s this pair of panels is. (Uncanny X-Men #52)
More 60s! (Uncanny X-Men #52)
It’s… it’s way more complicated than that, Lorna. (Uncanny X-Men #52)
Now that is how you start an issue! (Uncanny X-Men #60)
SCOTT SUMMERS YOU ARE BETTER THAN THIS (Uncanny X-Men #60)
I wish we got to see more of Jean and Lorna as buds. (Uncanny X-Men #60)
We didn’t talk about this in the episode, but I love the story the Brotherhood’s body language is telling in the foreground. (Uncanny X-Men #60)
Miles’s favorite two-page spread. (Uncanny X-Men #60)
How can something so ridiculous be so genuinely tense? (Uncanny X-Men #60)
Aww Jager (Uncanny X-Men #60)
Name a better origin story – we dare you. (Uncanny X-Men #60)
Well, it beats the costume with the suspenders. (Uncanny X-Men #60)
NEXT TIME: Kitty makes some choices.

LINKS & FURTHER READING:

 

370 – The Sound of Evil (feat. Max Carleton)

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Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line!

In which Max Carleton and Miles take a trip back to the Silver Age, the origins of Marvel Girl’s telepathy are questionable, the nature of Polaris’s parentage is also questionable, and the quality of Sauron’s origin story shall never be questioned.

X-PLAINED:

  • The Locust (Dr. August Hopper)
  • Uncanny X-Men #46, 52, and 60
  • Genuine tragedy
  • Funereal fashion
  • Frederick “Amos” Duncan
  • The Juggernaut (Cain Marko) (again)
  • The Crimson Cosmos
  • Energy globules
  • Charles Xavier’s telepathy lending library
  • Jean Grey, spiteful seamstress
  • Erik the Red (the first one) (Scott Summers)
  • Lorna Dane, fashion icon
  • Filially-obligated villainy
  • Psychic-delia
  • The sadly short-lived Roy Thomas / Neal Adams run
  • Suspension of disbelief
  • Pteranodons
  • Sauron (Karl Lykos, fantasy nerd)
  • Alex Summers, perpetual captive and/or villain battery
  • Miles’s favorite two-page spread
  • How to choose the perfect supervillain name
  • X-Men: The Animated Series, 1960s Edition
  • Our Silver Age X-creator wish list
  • Magnetism

NEXT EPISODE: Excalibur!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog.

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!